Aww.. Thank you peachiko for subscribing. Your the first and only subscriber for this story though ^.^"

And also... I am finally graduating after 6 years. I am so happy. And also our MBLAQ Mir will be released in less than 10 days. I am soooo happy!!!

"HOW DID YOU TEACH YOUR GROUP MEMBERS?"

          Seungho lowered his head, his hands on his back as he kept listening to the employer, the owner of the company quietly as he had been for the past ten minutes.

          "Your debut stage is horrendous." A quite thick stack of paper was rolled up inside the man's hand and he used it to push Seungho's head around.

          It was not painful physically.

          But it was definitely painful to Seungho's pride.

          "Maybe if Rain had chosen better leader that such thing wouldn't happen." He kept going on. "Or maybe I should have just dissolve your group. It would not gain me anything after all."

          "No please." Seungho spoke out desperately. "The kids are just starting to fly. Please give us chance."

          "Chance, huh? Do you know what you're asking for? IT'S THE DAMN MONEY. Chance is money. How much have I spend on you five useless things? And you asked for more. How are you planning to pay me back?"

          Seungho clenched his fists, gritted his teeth.

          "Haa.. Maybe you can just sell them off. I know a lot sponsor in this field that is just so ed up they could use some pretty boys help in exchange for the money."

          Seungho lunged forward but before he could attack the man in front of him, Rain had rushed in and held him back.

          "We're really sorry, boss. I'm going to make sure they will not do the same mistake. I'll scold them good." Rain offered a fake smile, bowing and pulled Seungho to bow his head to the disgusting male before pulling Seungho out of the room and further down the hallway.

          It was quiet as Rain waited for the anger inside Seungho to calm down for a bit. Once he saw the fire inside Seungho's burning orbs getting smaller and smaller till it was no longer visible, only then he spoke.

          "Feeling unfair?"

          "He is disgusting."

          Rain nodded. "But he is powerful."

          "He tried to sell my kids off!" Seungho burst.

          Rain smirked. "Your kids? I choose the right leader after all.." He mused to himself. "If you feel unfair then climb higher. Be more powerful and he wouldn't be able to lay a finger on your kids."

          Seungho stared at Rain for a while before letting out a wavering breath. Rain was right. At their position now, there was nothing they could do. He couldn't protect anyone. He couldn't protect MBLAQ. He could protect himself, GO, Joon, Cheondoong, and Mir. They needed to be perfect.

          "What I'm worrying most is Mir." Rain said. 

          Seungho snapped his head and his eyes shooting Rain with questions.

          "I know he got connection with the company so that could be a good thing but it may bring more bad things to him. He would not be able to do anything especially if he get mixed up between personal and professional. Watch over him. He's vulnerable in his position. Honestly, if they tried to do something to you guys, then you guys can escape despite losing a lot but I don't think Mir will be able to escape. He is tied down even without the contract."

          "What are you suggesting?"

          "If you fail, someone bound to get hurt beyond you can imagine."

          Seungho felt- almost even see the heavy burden falling over both his shoulders, weighing him down. He couldn't imagine the bad things that might befall their innocent young maknae. Heck, not to any of MBLAQ members. He is the leader. He couldn't let it happen under his watch.

          "Climb to the top, Seungho. Then, they won't be able to do anything to you or the others." Rain patted Seungho's shoulder and walked away.

          Leaving Seungho with heavier load he almost couldn't withstand.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@

In front of the camera, Mir allowed himself to feel proud for being able to hide each and every crack forming in his heart and let his smile stretched his lips fully.

          He became goofy, mischievous, and playful. He became the maknae that everyone adore. He became the maknae who seemed to always bother his four hyungs for a little bit of love, never seemed dejected, never seemed to lost his smile.

          His lovely smile earned him a peg by fans, as a sunshine smile and puppy smile.

          It made him slightly happy.

          Despite him single-handedly ruining their debut stage or so he thought, MBLAQ had been fairing well. They got a lot of invitation for shows and performances and they did well for each and every of them.

          As just Mir, the other members of MBLAQ seemed to be as professional. They played around with Mir. Laughing at Mir's idiotic joke and incredulous stories. They showered Mir with affectionate-bullying and it made people think that MBLAQ had a very close brotherhood.

          Wrong.

          Once the camera turned off, they left to tend their own business. Seungho did grow closer to GO whom was the closest to him in age. Joon seemed to have taken interest in taking care of the cute and 4D and awkward yet talented new member, Cheondung.

          Only Mir who went off alone. Like he always did since he came to Seoul.

          And this was one of those very routinely activity but this time, instead of sitting and brooding in one dark corner, Mir decided to take a walk around the building.

          Mir walked down the hallway absent-mindedly, turning one corner after another when a yelp escaped his lips as he bumped into someone, immediately bowing to apologize.

          "Hey, I know you."

          Mir stood straight, smiling when he saw Jinwoon grinning widely at him. "Hello, sunbaenim." Mir greeted politely only to laugh when Jinwoon grumbled at his politeness.

          "Come on.. Again? I told you we're of same age. No need to be so formal with me. Or are you just being sarcastic about me acting like I'm older last time we met backstage?"

          "Force of habit." Mir replied with a shrug knowing how formal he always acted with people around him. Which was exactly what he did to people, building wall around him with his formal speech and attitude towards the others especially towards the other MBLAQ members.         

          "What are you doing here?"

          "I have a talk show in studio C. We're on half an hour break right now."

          "Oh." Jinwoon looked at his watch. "And I still have another ten minutes. Let's get a drink." He slung his hand around Mir and pulled the other down the hallway with him until they reached a vendor machine with a bench and large fake tree in a giant vase arranged next to the machine.

          Jinwoon took two coffee cans and gave Mir one. "So how is it? I heard people talking about MBLAQ everywhere. You guys are surely on roll these days with what did they say, something about five Rain? Really cool, dude."

          Mir smiled bitterly, making his coffee taste sweet compared to the bitterness that had been infesting his heart filled with spider cracks and imperfection. "I guess." was his simple answer.

          Jinwoon noticed the distress that Mir tried not to show and his eyes softened as he stared at his new friend. Only those in this line of work knew how easily they would wound up getting hurt by a lot of things. Haters... Employers... Friends... Fans... Even family... "Sharing will make it a tad easier." He spoke softly as if he was talking to a child.

          Mir just shook his head and took a sip on his coffee.

          "You know, I had a hard time when I was newly debut. We have a lot of supporters but with that came a lot of haters as well. You know something about haters, their hatred will made us forget how many love we have from the others. I used to get really affected first but I think it was because I was too drained in the early days of debut, now it is a bit better. It will be better." Jinwoon let out casually, waiting patiently for Mir's response.

          "Hating people is easy." Mir suddenly let out, his eyes staring sadly at the empty wall in front of him.

          "Maybe." Jinwoon answered.

          "Loving people is hard."

          "Not really."

          "It is." Mir argued. "It is when they don't like you."

          "Are you talking about your antifan?" Jinwoon question, having a feeling that was not exactly what Mir was talking about.

          "Have you ever being pushed to your limit?" Mir asked back, ignoring Jinwoon's question.

          "Cheolyong. We are in a field of work that always made us push our boundaries. But we can't give up."

          "But it's hard."

          "Then try harder."

          "Should I? Does it even worth it?" Mir chewed on his lips. He was pretty sure Jinwoon didn't even understand but he felt each and every word Jinwoon offered meant something to him. He couldn't really explain it but those words seeped deep under his skin. And he wanted to hear more. Somehow..

          "You should. One thing I learn in our profession is to keep trying so that we won't regret after that."

          Mir hummed softly. "Maybe I should."

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Mir did try. He try so much that now, he didn't feel like trying anymore. It just like when you practice so hard, your body can no longer keep up. That was how his heart now. It was too battered to keep up.

          Mir had tried to approach Seungho first. He had followed the leader of the group like a little puppy but that only made Seungho felt bothered and if possible, even more annoyed.

          Then Mir tried to understand. Maybe the leader was tired. They all are. Of course, considering how tight their schedule are and how strict Rain was being with their unending intense training.

          And one night, Mir had stayed awake more than usual, staring blankly at the black screen of the television in the living room, his hand continuously playing with his flip phone. He was spacing out, thinking of things when he heard the front door opened and in stumbled a tired looking Seungho.

          Mir snapped out of his thought and jogged towards the leader, taking the bag slung over the male's tense shoulder.

          "Hyung. Would you-"

          "What else, Cheolyong? I don't have energy to play with you. And why aren't you asleep yet? We have early schedule tomorrow. Switch off the light and go to sleep." Seungho said with annoyance written all over his face and went into their shared room.

          Mir stared at the bag in his hold and sighed. "Would you like some tea?" Mir whispered his intended but interrupted question although the leader already went into the room and did as Seungho told, or rather yelled at him.

          He shut the light off, leaving him in darkness but he didn't go into their shared room between him, Joon and Seungho, instead, he sat back on the still warm spot on the couch. He put Seungho's bag beside the couch.

          Maybe he was too nosy.

          Maybe he should be more quiet.

          Maybe he should give up.

          With all thought, getting worse by seconds, Mir fall asleep on the couch, falling into a nightmare when he saw himself running in the darkness trying to reach the light that seemed to be too far in the end of the dark tunnel. But the light was just getting farther and smaller. And Mir lost all hope yet he didn't stop running, didn't stop trying until he fall...

          "YAH! WAKE UP!"

          Mir jolted awake, looking around him and saw a pissed off GO standing by the foot of the couch.

          "You really. Wake up already! We have practice." GO growled and Mir instantly knew the older must have been trying to wake him for a while already.

          He knew himself, he was a heavy sleeper.

          Mir nodded silently and stretched a bit, wincing at the pain shot up along his spine that sent tingling sensation down his lower limbs. He ignored it. It had been quite an often things to him. He figured he was just overworking himself. Well, he need to practice harder to catch up to his talented hyungs.

          "Hey, you should take some breakfast." Mir was just finished getting ready in a rush, about to run out of the dorm and went to the practice room in the building just a few blocks away from the dorm when Cheondung called out to him.

          "It's okay, hyung. We are late already." Mir replied with a thankful smile but his smile instantly wiped off when GO walked pass him, grumbling,

          "Thanks to you."

          Mir let his eyes turned downcast but didn't lost a second as he trailed after the main vocalist of the MBLAQ together with Cheondung, joining Seungho who was already waiting in the practice room meanwhile Joon was having solo schedule.

          "Do you think it's okay to be this late?" Seungho talked sternly as the corner of his eyes raised ever slightly, causing his naturally sharp-looking eyes appears to be sharper. More intimidating.

          "I am sorry, hyung." Mir bowed, something of his daily doing. Bowing and apologizing, one way or another.

          Seungho scoffed. "You are always sorry, aren't you? Your sorry is not needed. We need you to do well. We're just debut. We're still newbies. We can't afford to slack off!"

          Mir held his words of retort in as he listen to the leader nagging the hell out of him. I do know! I know! That is why I stay for practice until late! Until I'm so exhausted I couldn't even eat when I got back to dorm and just sleep. Do you notice that? Do any of you even know while I'm ruining my own body to keep up with your perfect expectation when all I need just a sort of recognition from you? Do any of you even care about me? Do any of you realize anything about me? Do you? Will you...?

          "Don't look at me like that." Seungho snarled. "I'm saying all of this for the good of the group."

          You won't..