Nowadays I wonder.

"Did I do well?"

"Is this my path?"

"Will I debut?"

No one can tell me an answer. It's been years. I made it into SM Rookies, the so-called "Confirmed-to-debut group" but i'm the only one in my batch.

Rival? Juhyun? My rival? Man, I liked this girl. I thought it'd be great if we became a team, and now headmaster makes her my rival?

-------------------

"Fine. Let's talk. What do you want to know?" Seulgi sat down on the couch at the far back of the practice room.

"Why are you acting like this? We're friends. You are my first and only friend in here."

Seulgi gulped. She knows her next sentence would hurt the latter but to protect herself from getting hurt later on, she still did it. "We were never friends. I never thought of you as my friend."

However, Juhyun is not buying any of her words. Not sure whether is because during the one month when they were inseparable she observes Seulgi well or because her instinct is as accurate as a bullseye, she knew Seulgi didn't mean any of what she had just said. "Was it because headmaster said I can be your rival?" Irene asked straightforwardly. All these guessing games are making her insane.

"Yes. No.. I don't know. It's just.... "

"Just..? Talk to me Seulgi-yah."

i took a deep breath and decided to be honest. "Recently I feel down lately. I'm wavering. I'm wondering whether should I continue to train or should I just leave and just get a normal job. You are my friend that headmaster brought in to me, I like being friends with you but if we were to be rival, I just don't want to end up getting hurt or betrayed. I've been left behind many times, people filled me with empty promises and I can't take another stab in the heart. I'll die, Juhyun-ah."

I flinched when a pair of warm hands touched mine, I looked up and saw Irene's teary eyes. I felt cold beads of sweats dripping, my heart squeezed.

"Y-yah..." I stuttered. "W-why are you--"

"I have no plans on being your rival. I want to debut in the same team as you. I missed your smile. That smile that warms me every morning. It's been cold for a month, I don't like it. Please don't tthink of me as your rival, or that I'll betray you and debut on my own. Because initially I want us in a team. And this is not any of those empty promises. I mean it sincerely. I'll either be a team with you or we'll keep practicing together."

I stared right into her eyes.It was full of sincerity although it was b with tears. That was when I knew I was wrong about this girl.

---------------------------------------

It's a Saturday night. I packed a small baggage and went out of the dorm after bidding farewell to Juhyun. My parents came to pick me up from the dorm and drove us back home.

That Sunday morning, I woke up to the smell of my mom's cooking. I texted Juhyun.

[SG} Good morning, Miss Bae~

[JH] What Miss Bae. Makes me sound like a madame.

[SG] Are you still at the dorm?

[JH] Yeah.

{SG] You're not going home?

[JH] My hometown is in Daegu. It's kinda far to travel with just one day-off.

[SG] I missed you already. I'll come back quickly!

[JH] Don't!!! Stay there, have fun, I'll see you at the practice room tomorrow morning. DON'T YOU EVER RUSH BACK HERE!

[SG] .... N---Nae... ☹️

"Seulgi-yah~ Come and have breakfast!" I heard my mom's voice saying from behind my bedroom door. 

"Coming!!!" I replied

[SG] I'll text you later. My mom is calling me for breakfast. 

[JH] Okay