Concept: ANGST & SONG FIC

Nu'est: Hello, I’m Bad, Just One Day, Happy Until Now (Baek Ho’s Solo)

*On a call

Baek Ho: Where are you?

A Ra: Home.

Baek Ho: Did you eat?

A Ra: Yes.

Baek Ho: What are you doing?

A Ra: Nothing much.

Baek Ho: Okay. Take care then.

Hanging up the phone. He looked at you from a distance. Getting out from a guy’s car, which was pulled up in front of your house. He wanted to ask you, why. But he knows he couldn’t because he was a coward. He could get himself to ask you, what was wrong with both of you. Because he didn’t want to lose you. This doesn’t make any sense to him, your action. He wanted to ask you, to tell him that, there was nothing going on between you two. He is staring at the two of you blankly from far away. Thinking if you would notice him. He couldn’t look away, and he didn’t know why. Thinking to himself, aren’t you supposed to be here instead of there. He was going crazy by himself. Because he was the one through your worst days, comforting you.

He came to you, because he wanted to see you sooner. So that both of you would not miss each other too much. But he thought to himself, it was the wrong move. Walking down the street, where both of you used to walk. He felt like dying. He felt like ripping his heart out, so he couldn’t feel the pain anymore. So that he wouldn’t feel like he was suffocating, like he was now. He couldn’t go on without you. He didn’t know what would he do without you here anymore. And he couldn’t let go. Because he lived a life that knew only you. And he knew that no matter how hard, he was going to try and erase you out of his mind, he couldn’t. And no matter how hard, he would make himself hate you, he couldn’t. He guessed that, you didn’t miss him at all. And he wished that he could tell you words that he wanted to say, tomorrow. Tomorrow when he would be braver. Because he couldn’t say anything to you now. And even if he did, he was just talking to empty air and you couldn’t hear any of them.

He felt like his heart has lost its colour and shine. Because you ain’t here to fill it with colours anymore. Thinking why is love so cruel, reopening wounds that was not even healed yet. He left your place without saying a word. He felt like he was lacking in something, that’s why you didn’t choose him.  He hoped that you would at least give him one more day. Just another day, a little bit of time. So that he could be by your side, so that he could remember you more. He regrets everything he had done and say to you. But regrets will not change anything. Because here, he is now, in his room. Sitting on the floor, in the corner of his room. Longing for you. Because each step he took, closer to you. It brings him closer to home.

Memories of both of you flooded back to him. And the times that both of you spend together, felt like was holding him back. Clinging on to his legs, preventing him from walking, even a step away from you. He was thinking if he should apologise. If he should ask you for another chance. If he should run to you right now. And tell you how much he loves you. Thinking if you would call him crazy if he really did it. There were so many thoughts and worries in his head. And it’s driving him crazy. Thinking back to all those times. He felt like he was the one at fault. He was the one who drive you away. He was a bad guy. He was selfish. Always busy with composing his song. And never had the time for you. Always caught up with his work. And always loss track of the time and day.

But even with all of that. You stayed. He was missing those day where you would nag at him for getting caught up with work. And forgetting the time. Not taking enough care of himself. And nag at him for being so stubborn, not listening to your advice. Now that he was alone. He finally felt it. He was wrong, and he never told you before. You’re too good for him. But he wanted you back. He wanted to tell you that he wouldn’t hurt you anymore. He wanted to let you know, he wouldn’t make you cry anymore. And most importantly, he wanted to let you know, he would do anything for you. He knows how difficult it was for you to be with him. How much pain you must have been in, because of him. He knew exactly how you feel, because he had always tried understanding it. And it was okay to him, if you didn’t understand how he feel. But he wanted you to stay.

Now, he only wants to give you good things. He doesn’t want to tell you how he has been doing these days. Because to him it’s not important. You’re more important to him. Because when he was with you. He was happy and comfortable. He had been happy till now. And he was always by your side. But compared to you, who has always loved him. He still has so much to learn. But those day with you. It felt like a miracle to him and he never taken granted of that. Because you taught him what happiness is. And seeing you, he will always be able to smile. And maybe, just maybe, he would be able to embrace the sadness. Because he had been happy till now.