Eight

It's Not Fine

 

“Tiffany, can we talk? I need to tell you something.” Taeyeon rubbed her clammy hands nervously.

“Please come in.” Tiffany patted the spot beside her.

“I’m really sorry to scare you like that yesterday.” Taeyeon bit her lip and reached out to hold Tiffany’s hand. “But… whenever I am feeling overwhelmed, like when I feel like I literally can’t do it anymore, I have a habit of cutting myself.” Tiffany’s eyes widened at Taeyeon’s confession. She lets go of Taeyeon’s hand and moved closer to give her a hug. “I am so sorry that you have to resort to doing that to yourself.” 

“I hope that whenever you have that feeling again, you will come to me and we can work it out together.” Tiffany hugs her tighter, as if she was trying to squeeze out all of the bad things from Taeyeon.

“I-i don't want to be a burden.” Taeyeon rests her forehead on Tiffany’s shoulder.

“Tae.” Tiffany loosens her arms and pushes Taeyeon back a little, making sure to look directly in her eyes. “I want you to know that you will never be a burden.” 

“You are worthy, you are enough. And I would be honoured if you decided to share your demons with me.” Tiffany was hoping that her words were conveyed sincerely and that Taeyeon would start to believe and be aware of the fact that she was an amazing, selfless, strong, kind and caring person. Tiffany’s heart almost breaks at Taeyeon’s expression. So vulnerable and so full of hatred for herself. She wishes she could lock everyone who had done this to Taeyeon up in a box and throw them into the sea. 

“You are so strong, Taeyeon.” Taeyeon starts to shake her head. “Even if you do not believe me right now, I can see it. The strength in you, that helps you to leave the bed every morning, that helps you to keep going in life. I see it and I am so very proud of you. I just wish that you could see it too.” Tiffany cups Taeyeon’s cheek and places her forehead against Taeyeon’s. 

“I really don’t deserve you.” Taeyeon sighs.

“On the contrary, you do. You deserve so much. You deserve the world and all. Please don't let anyone tell you that you don't. Because you do, Taeyeon. I promise, it’s the truth.” Tiffany’s heartfelt and earnest tone floats intently into her ears and swirls and envelopes her head like a cool breeze.

Maybe, Taeyeon thinks, maybe she is worthy after all



 

“So… I told Tiffany.” Taeyeon stated as she took a sip of her coffee.

“That’s good. I know how much she means to you.” She replies, hand reaching out to pat Taeyeon’s bangs.

“She really does. We’ve been doing this together longer than I have with the other members so I feel that there’s really a deeper connection there somehow.” Taeyeon said thoughtfully. 

“Well, there could be a different reason too.” The corner of her lips lifted as she looked at Taeyeon knowingly.

“What do you mean?” Taeyeon raised her brow, puzzled.

“Tell me if I’m right. Okay?” Taeyeon nodded. “You two are really close right, you talk all the time?”

“Yes, well, considering our job, I see her more often than my family so it is inevitable.” Taeyeon tilts her head. Where is this conversation going? 

“Fair enough, and you worry about her all the time?” She continues as she walks over to the recently vacated table to pick up the used cups.

“Of course I do, she’s like family to me now at this point. It just happens naturally.” Taeyeon answers but her eyes narrow suspiciously.

“Okay, lastly, do you think about her all day?” She places the cups in the sink.

“Hold on, what are you insinuating?” Taeyeon frowned.

“I am not saying anything. I’m merely asking the right questions. All the realising and discovering is up to you.” Her lips formed a thin line as she looked at Taeyeon with a cheeky grin.

“And what am I supposed to realise and discover?” 

She shakes her head and shrugs mockingly.

“Tell me!” Taeyeon stood up impatiently and walked towards her before jabbing her fingers at her waist.

“S-stop it!” She manages out between giggles. “Okay. Stop. Stop. I’ll say.” She rests her arm on the counter and catches her breath.

“Quick!” Taeyeon points her fingers threateningly.

“Fine,” She leads Taeyeon back to her table. “Maybe… you like her.”

“Of course I like her, she-” Taeyeon stops in her tracks. “Oh.”

“Yes, oh.” She pushes Taeyeon back down to her chair and squeezes her cheek.

“Wait, you really think so?” Taeyeon grabs her hand.

“Do you not think so?” She retorts. Taeyeon could not answer.

“Okay, student Taeyeon, your homework today is to go home and have a good think about this.” She pats Taeyeon’s back. “Remember, this homework is graded. But the deadline is flexible. Hand it in to me whenever you’re ready.” She gave Taeyeon a fake smile that teachers usually give.

 

That night was one of the most confusing, but weirdly, also one of the most comprehensive ones she has ever had. After a four hour long reflection, Taeyeon had finally reached an outcome. Whether it was a good one or a bad one, it needed further deliberation and discourse. She picks up her phone and dials a number.

“So?” The person on the other end seemed amused.

Taeyeon sighs. “I need a drink. An alcoholic one. Definitely not coffee.”

“One alcoholic drink that is definitely not coffee coming right up! Your place or mine?” She responds.

“Make that ten drinks. I’ll be there in five.” Taeyeon groans in frustration.

 

 “Hey, I’m going out for a bit.” She informs the members in the living room.

“At this time?” Sooyoung inquired.

“Yeah I need a drink.”

“Oh, where? Can I come too?” Yoona raises her hand and stands up.

“Sit back down.” Tiffany pulls back Yoona and gives Taeyeon a knowing look. “Have fun.” She smirks, getting curious glances from the others.

“I doubt it'll be fun.” Taeyeon mumbles and grabs her jacket.

 

 


 

A/N: Heyyyyyy I hope yall enjoyed this one. :> Thanks for reading, have a great day~

(A little heads up, the number of days between uploads might increase from now as I have not much done chapters left and I'm kinda busy these days. Hopefully I don't have to tho!)

 

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wooo taeny

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Fire_trek 360 streak #1
Chapter 37: It’s thanksgiving where I am and I’m giving thanks to Taeny and this fic.. it was a wild ride of angst and fluff but I loved it nonetheless. Beautifully written and amazingly executed. I can’t wait until I read your other fics when I get time! Thank you author nim!
Fire_trek 360 streak #2
Chapter 36: Yeah, Taeny is back! I loved this story even though it’s almost over :( the girl seemed like a great girl, but Taeny is the real deal!
Fire_trek 360 streak #3
Chapter 35: In Sunny we trust! She’s like the coffee shop girl calling Tae a lol she had the best advice maybe Taeyeon could get Sunny and the coffee shop girl together… never mind they’d be too powerful for this world lol
Fire_trek 360 streak #4
Chapter 34: The chat is something I’d pay to be apart of. But in all honesty I’d probably be Hyoyeon to the chat and ignore it all lol.. even though I love the fluff I’m looking forward to the angst!
Fire_trek 360 streak #5
Chapter 33: Omg they kissed in public! Big girl moves they’re taking I see lol.. it was nice to see them together, even if it was for a little bit. I don’t know how they will cope without each other, maybe a surprise meeting soon?
Fire_trek 360 streak #6
Chapter 32: Another great chapter, Taeny really brighten up my day, seriously. Yes, Tiffany has grown into herself more as a woman and a person. This makes me happy
Fire_trek 360 streak #7
Chapter 31: Aww, you know I love fluff.. this was pure gold. Even though I love angst this was a good change of pace. Let them just be happy for once, right?
Fire_trek 360 streak #8
Chapter 30: That was hot 🥵 who knew Taeny had it in them? I know you were feeling apprehensive about writing this but it came out great!
Fire_trek 360 streak #9
Chapter 29: This was cute and I can’t wait for the next chapter!! here we come!
Fire_trek 360 streak #10
Chapter 28: This was sad but beautiful. Missing someone is a natural emotion for us to have, I’m glad she’s coping well with this tho. I miss the coffee shop girl tho lol