Have you thought about a lot of possible scenarios in your life with a lot of "what could have been?" How about those "what if's?"

Walking through my thirties now, I have been doing a lot of reflecting within my life. At the moment, I am still Kim Taeyeon, busy as ever with work than before. Sometimes, alone in my room during my vacation days, I think about a lot of things that have happened in my life, especially those that have crossed my life. I can mention a lot of people I have had a fling with but someone have been coming across my social media feed, making me sit back and think about our past.

During my school days, everybody knew I liked girls. I was trying to court two girls at the time, talking to them at home after school. I was really head over heels for both of them. The fun of dating occupied most of my days instead of focusing on school work. While I was busy fawning over the two girls, someone came across my life unexpectedly.

I was not the type to really meddle with people out of my year range. I was in 1st Year but someone from 2nd Year decided to come and change that fact. Jessica Jung was her name and she was determined to change just that.

Jessica was walking past me when she stopped me.

"Woah! You really look like Boa!"

I was stunned with the sudden comparison. Boa Kwon was one of the popular lesbians in my school. I did not care much about being compared to her since I was getting that a lot from other students in the school.

"So what if I do?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Nothing," she shook her head, "I just couldn't believe she has a look-a-like at school."

"I see..." I nodded my head.

"You're actually pretty cute," she mentioned.

Again, stopping me from whatever I wanted to do or what I was thinking.

Before I could even say anything else, she was already walking away while waving goodbye at me with a smile on her face.

From then on, I knew that I was going to start seeing her around school more often.

While I was in class, she would sometimes pass by and I did not know why but I would hide away sometimes. It was not as if she was actively seeking for me. I did not know either why I wanted to hide eitherway.

But even with my efforts to hide away from her, she found away to keep in touch with me.

"Here..."

My classmate handed me a small note that was rolled up neatly. It revealed Jessica's name and her phone number, asking me to send her a message through the phone.

I did not pay any mind and kept it on my pocket. To be honest, she was actually the first girl to even actively try to woo me. I was used to wooing those that I felt attracted to.

When I got home, I hit her up and from then on, we started sending each other phone messages non-stop. Still, I was actually messaging the other two girls I was infatuated with as well. But that all stopped when I heard the news that my mother was coming back to Korea all of a sudden to pick us up so we can move to the United States indefinitely.

When Jessica heard the news, on my last day, she found her way to me in the school corridors and gave me a neatly rolled up stationary paper containing two pages.

"Open it when you have the time," she told me with a sullen look and immediately went in for a hug, "I'm going to miss you."

I wrapped my arms around her in return, holding onto the rolled up letter she gave me.

"And to think you were going to be my Boa number two..."

"Excuse me?" I pulled away for her and chuckled, "just keep trying to woo Boa will you?"

All this time of her flirting with me, she was still crushing on the infamous Boa after all.

"Stop it," she hit my arm lightly, "but for real though, we should keep in touch."

I smiled at her and nodded.

"Will do."

At home, while I was packing everything up, I decided to take a break and look over every photo and letter that my classmates have given me on my last day of school. Among those pile, the rolled up letter stood out. I picked it up from the pile and decided to open it carefully.

Jessica's handwriting was very neat and she used a lot of slang on her letter. As I was reading through, I found it cute how she expressed her feelings for me. The way she wrote the whole letter was cute. However, I knew it was not going to go anywhere since I was leaving South Korea. We would be on two different worlds.

But maybe I was wrong?

We started hitting each other up through electronic mails back and forth until we decided to hit each other up on messenger. From then on, we never stopped talking to each other. I fell off from the two girls I was infatuated with. Meanwhile, Jessica was letting me know everything that was going on with her at school and all the things I missed. She even told me the stories about her position with Boa.

That did not really go anywhere.

I think at that point, she was moreso crushing on me more than she was with Boa.

"Do you want to try going out?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know..."

Jessica initiated trying to elevate our relationship to another level. Nothing really ever came about our relationship while I was still in South Korea. I was not really sure if it was ever going to work out between the two of us since we were both in two different countries with two different time zones. But I agreed to it. Even though I was crushing on other people here, it was not as if I was in a relationship with anyone nor will it hurt to try anything by forming a relationship with her.

We started talking more and scheduling our time to talk. Back then, computers were the only way you could even get in contact with anyone from another country unless you call them through international phone cards, which possibly costs more than ever. Eitherway, I was hiding this relationship from my parents since they did not know yet that I liked women.

It was fun at first to think that I officially have a girlfriend at that time, if you could even call it actually official. I was coming home from school, ready to use the computer everytime just so I could talk to her.

From teasing to dedicating songs to me, it felt nice having a girlfriend. At least for a good bit.

My conversations with her started getting bland from my point of view. I was crushing on other people at school and I was not feeling like talking to Jessica anymore. It felt repetitive to have an online relationship. Everything was based on what they put out during the day, which does not change too much since school routines are pretty predictive. Nothing exciting was really happening within our lives that would have made it exciting to tell the news about to each other.

One day, I decided I was going to call it quits with her.

The only thing I did not know was, she was ready to call it quits with me as well.

We ended our online relationship amicably and stopped talking constantly with each other from there.

We remained friends on social media.

After a year or so since that break, she started talking to me again on social media, commenting on my posts or photos from time-to-time. She was still flirty as ever and I remained flirty as well to a certain point as if nothing had happened between us.

Although, she did bring up about missing me and I did as well.

It has been a while since we last talked. I do not believe that our second time talking with each other again went anywhere further again. Maybe we organically fell apart and remained as such.

We both moved on from each others' lives, still friends on social media. I have been in a few relationships and so did she. Lately though, I am not really sure whether or not she is still in a relationship.

Maybe they also called it quits? Who knows?

At the end of the day, I am left with what had happened, where we are now, and how the world kept revolving around us as we grew apart.

It had been more than a decade since we really talked in social media. And all I can do at this moment was think about what could have happened and how things would have been if we remained actively in contact with each other.

Or maybe it is better to leave that chapter behind... who knows?

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A/N: Decided to do a quick drabble while I reminisce about certain things (obviously). It had been a while since I last updated this thread. Hopefully everyone's doing fine.