There's just never enough time with the things you love in life whether it be your passion, the things you own, or the people you care about. Pets may be property but I consider them as my family. They keep me company when I feel alone. They also bring me joy with their little instincts. Even though they're a pain in the sometimes, I still love them regardless, especially to my best friend, Zero.

Zero is my silver miniature poodle. I felt a pit in my stomach having to give up Ginger but I knew he was in good hands with my family. I was too busy at the time to take care of him but thankfully, my family was open arms into welcoming Ginger. And now that I have a bit more free time than usual, I decided to adopt Zero instead of taking Ginger back from my family as they claimed him as their own already.

"Zero, come on buddy!" I motioned for him to come close while I'm sitting with crossed legs on the wood laminated floor inside my condominium.

"You need to get back to your studies, Taeyeon," my girlfriend snarked.

"I'll get to it when I can, Jess," I replied to her.

"Taengoo!"

"Yes ma'am," I responded, knowing that she's going to raise hell if I ever slacked on my studies more.

I live a pretty busy life myself while my girlfriend, Jessica, takes care of the house. She takes care of the dogs more than I do which I'm always thankful for. She's very supportive of whatever I do, even when it comes to adopting Zero even though she was a bit hesitant at first. She did eventually fall in love with my little boy.

You see, Jessica was hesitant upon adopting Zero because I, myself, already have a busy schedule. But I whined and told her I wanted another poodle because I missed Ginger so much. She finally gave in and let me adopt Zero.

Zero came from another family that I found while I was lurking through Facebook, trying to find another poodle. They said they didn't really have enough time to play with him as he's a bit more energetic than they have expected. I happily drove all the way to their house to pick them up and gave them an adoption fee. Upon seeing Zero through pictures, I immediately fell in love with him and knew he was the one.

Upon receiving him, Jessica detested him at first as he was going to be another responsibility that we had to take care of. But with her seeing that I was very happy, she tolerated Zero and spent some more time with him until eventually falling in love with him.

I'm usually at work as I work two jobs and also study as a part time student. Jessica, on the other hand, only had one job and had more than enough free time to take care of the house. She's also been trying to find other jobs but with the hard times, some places didn't even give her a reply back for her to get an interview. I could say I'm pretty much the head of the household and takes care of the other important things like bills and such while she takes care of the groceries and taking care of the house, especially Zero.

"Hey, my mom and brother are coming soon, by the way," Jessica reminded me.

"Yes, I know. We'll get the house prepared and set up so we have to make time for cleaning the house," I nodded.

"More like I'm cleaning the house," she joked.

"Nah, I'll clean some stuff," I retorted. But with my busy schedule, it's quite obvious that Jessica would have to be the one cleaning for the most part.

"Woof woof!" Zero barked at us.

I turned over to Zero and asked him, "what's wrong? Did you want to clean with us too?" and laughed.

"Woof woof!" he replied.

"I guess you're going to have a companion while you're trying to clean the place," I told Jessica jokingly.

"At least he's going to help me out," Jessica snarked.

"Chill! You know I'm juggling two jobs for the both of us," I scoffed.

"I'm kidding!"

Jessica's family soon arrived and showed them around the condominium. Jessica's sister, Krystal, helped their mother settle down as their journey from the US to South Korea was pretty long. We had an extra room in to condo that we had prepped for their stay so that was where they immediately headed. Zero followed them to the room and immediately latched on Krystal.

"Who's a cute puppy?!" Krystal cooed as she patted Zero's head.

"Seems like he likes you," I told Krystal.

"Well, he's a cutie and I like him back!"

For the next few days, I noticed the attachment that Krystal did have for Zero. I'm normally overprotective over the things I own and care about, especially Zero, but since he seemed to get along well with him, I allowed him to play with her. She did ask about taking him out just to see the neighborhood and I felt it was safe enough to allow them to. I did warn Krystal that Zero's quite energetic and that she should always keep an eye on him.

At some point, Jessica woke me up frantically looking for Zero.

"Have you seen him? I can't find him!" she panicked.

"Why would you ask me? I just woke up," I hissed.

"Then where the hell is he?" she kept asking.

Suddenly, we heard the door open and we rushed over to the door to see who it was. Thankfully it was Krystal with Zero.

"Damn, the least thing you could do is tell us that you were taking him out!" Jessica sighed as she took Zero and hugged him.

"I'm sorry. You guys were just sleeping and he kept bothering me as if he wanted to go for a walk," Krystal apologized, "and I thought it was fine for me to take him out."

"We at least wanted to know!" Jessica told her younger sister.

But for the next few days that pass, Krystal still took Zero out without my knowledge although she did ask Jessica about it beforehand. I started waking up later as I usually stayed up playing games on the console with my brother. Since I took off from both of my jobs to accomodate Krystal and their mother as well, I had more free time to do the things I usually couldn't do on a normal day juggling with two jobs and college work.

"Man, where are they?" Jessica pondered, "they've been gone since an hour or two ago."

"Why don't you call them?" I told Jessica. I was quite worried as well.

Jessica picked up her phone and dialed in Krystal's number. She put it on speaker phone and the phone rang for a little bit.

"Hey Krys, where's my dog?" Jessica immediately asked once the ringing stopped.

"I'm still walking him since he seemed to still have a lot of energy," she answered, "we're on our way back now."

"Alright, just make sure the both of you are safe," Jessica told her younger sister and hung up the phone.

Soon as they arrived, Jessica and I rushed to the door. Krystal also pulled something out of her jacket pockets and gave me a leash.

"We walked so far and there was a pet store on the way so I figured I could give you guys another leash," Krystal told me as I received the leash from her.

"For what?" I asked.

"I don't know. I just figured I give you guys something for them," Krystal commented.

"Thank you," I thanked her and analyzed the leash. They seem to be of nicer quality than the leash we already had.

Zero immediately laid down on his bed, seeming tired from the very long walk he just had. I was happy to know that Krystal could walk him that long as I didn't have much time to walk him that long and Jessica, on the other hand, only walks him to the doggy yard we had at the complex before taking care of other things at home and finding jobs.

That night, I tossed the trash onto the kitchen and saw Zero laying down the bed facing the wall, which I found cute and weird. I usually glance over him whenever I put trash in the trash bin and just walk away with a smile on my face. Just the sight of him alone made me happy. Afterwards, I brushed his teeth and he was more cooperative this time than before. It was probably because he didn't have enough energy left in him to even resist like he would normally do when I brush his teeth. I bid him good night afterwards and went to bed.

Little did I know that was the last time I was going to see him alive.

I immediately got woken up from my sleep with a frantic Jessica looking very surprised and also internally panicking. Groggy as I was, I asked her what was going on as I wiped my eyes.

"Zero just got into an accident," Jessica told me.

"He what?!"

My mind wasn't really processing everything right and my head was calm. We immediately got down to the car when we received his approximate location. But upon exiting our little area to where they were supposed to be, I didn't see them at all. Since Krystal said that it was towards the mall direction, I went that way exactly. But upon passing many traffic lights and still not finding them, I told Jessica to call her again.

"Krys, where are you at? Send in your location!" Jessica asked her.

"I told you it's by this intersection! And I couldn't send my GPS because I have a different phone than you guys!" Krystal replied.

Frustrated, I yelled at her over the phone, "use the damn messenger! There's a GPS option there you !"

"Oh, I see. Alright I'll send in my location," Krystal remarked and hung up afterwards.

As I was driving, Jessica showed me her location.

"That's literally on the other direction we're going towards right now! Ugh!" I said in frustration and made an immediate u-turn when I could.

As we kept driving down, we saw police cars on the other side of the road as we came closer to her location. We got closer and did see that it was Krystal with the police and another person. I parked behind the police cars but the police told me to re-park in front of them just so my car wouldn't be hit. I obliged and re-parked my car and got out when I could.

Soon as I saw Zero laying there not moving on the pavement, I was in shock. His eyes were open, cold and dark. His tongue was also out. I noticed the blood trail coming from the road towards to where he was laying at the moment.

"Is... is he dead?" I asked nobody in particular.

"I checked for a pulse and couldn't find any," the police officer answered.

My mind was still in shock and it was taking time for me to process everything. My mind played as if nothing had just happened yet even if Zero's lifeless body was right in front of my eyes. All I could do was ask Krystal what had really happened.

"We crossed the street and h-he got loose and that's when he got hit. He was pulling and got off his harness," Krystal explained.

"Why the hell did you jaywalk?!" I yelled at her.

Afterwards, Krystal didn't know what to say. I knew she felt guilty about the whole thing but I was still mad. I had no control over what happened. It would have been better off if it was my responsibility. But because I trusted someone to handle the things I care about, the worst fear I had happened.

I never really trust anybody with my stuff especially with the things I love because the fear of them being destroyed or losing them was always on my thoughts. I was skeptical allowing Krystal to take Zero out of the neighborhood but I guess I trusted too much and now the thing I feared the most happened.

I wanted to close Zero's eyes but I couldn't even dare touch his body. It was terrifying and I don't know why I couldn't bring myself to say my final goodbye to him and let his eyes rest one last time. The driver who hit him tried to console us the best way he could but nothing he could do could even bring my poor Zero back to life. I didn't blame the driver, I blamed Krystal's irresponsibility.

The driver and police offer did cover Zero with a wrapping and placed him carefully in the back seat of my car. Jessica was already crying frantically about what happened but she calmly touched Zero's body under the wrapping and prayed for him. I told her to get into the car and Jessica told Krystal to get into the car as well even though she was hesitant.

I immediately drove us to the pet crematorium as our veterinarian's office was closed during a Sunday. Jessica held onto Krystal's hand and immediately forgave her about what had happened, trying to comfort her. Krystal immediately cried and kept blaming herself about what happened. Meanwhile, all I had was thoughts of anger towards her but I knew she was Jessica's family so I didn't hold it against Jessica for her to care about her younger sister's well-being.

As we arrived back home, it felt cold and empty. I locked myself inside the room, not wanting to see Krystal at all or anyone. Jessica went to the room with me and asked how I was feeling. I was just calm with everything and didn't really want to talk about it.

"You know, some things could've happened too. I don't want to blame my sister because I know she did care for Zero even though she only met him briefly. I couldn't choose sides," Jessica told me as she held my hand.

I swiped her hand away and replied, "I'm fine. I'm not making you choose anyway and I understand."

"Alright, let me go check on Krystal real quick because I know she's not doing fine at all."

I just turned our room TV on and played whatever could fill the room with sound. I didn't want to lament and think about anything more. It was slowly sinking in that Zero was gone and that there was nothing we could do to take him back. I didn't even think that we could have saved his life if we've been there earlier if anything. I pictured everything that may have happened in my mind as if to put the puzzle pieces together.

Not long after, Mrs. Jung knocked on the door along with Jessica coming in from behind her.

"May I come in?" Mrs. Jung asked by the door side.

I nodded in response.

Mrs. Jung went and sat on the foot of the bed, facing me, and seemed hesitant on where to begin. Nonetheless, she offered her sincere condolences and apology about what had happened. She did also ask if there was room for me to forgive Krystal about what all happened but I just couldn't find myself to forgive at the moment since I was still absorbing everything that had happened, especially with the death of my best friend that I just adopted not too long ago either.

As she kept talking about what happened, I knew that I was at the point where I was about to cry. I didn't want to talk about what had happened nor did I want to talk more about him at all. Until I suddenly bursted out crying in front of the both of them. Jessica caressed my arm as I tried to supress my sorrow down. I'm not one to really show my true emotions and I hate it when I cry as well. But the mere thought of him and the more I talk about him just does something to me to where I couldn't control myself from crying.

All I could think of was how much time I should have spent more with him and more opportunities I could have given him while I still had him for the last 3 months. I never really thought he would be gone from me that quickly and I still repent on the times I never bothered giving him the attention that he needed. All these things and plans I had for him now all went down the drain. But one thing's for sure now, is that I know he's playing in doggy heaven where he can frolick in the wide grassy area along with the other dogs that have crossed the rainbow bridge. I know the whole thing that happened has devastated Jessica but I don't think anyone really knew how much I'm actually suffering internally. To my good boy, Zero, may you rest in peace and find your happiness along with the other dogs playing with you.

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Dedicated to my 2 year old shiba inu that I just had for 3 months. Rest well, Ryutaro. Your mommies love you very much and miss you dearly.

“Without you in my arms, I feel an emptiness in my soul. I find myself searching the crowds for your face - I know it's an impossibility, but I cannot help myself.”
- Nicholas Sparks, Message in a Bottle