Chapter 27:Insecurites can destroy a perfect relationship

That night the boys went straight back to their hotel rooms after attending the after party. They stayed for thirty minutes as a courtesy. It was awkward to stay longer since they were pretty much a newcomer in this award. Though Ansel Elgort and The Chainsmoker presence at the party helped to ease the awkwardness. Yet, it was evident they were not comfortable to be around the big names. The number of the connections that they made were not enough to make them stay for the rest of the night. They agreed to attend the after party because of the food after all and of course to show their respect.

Nothing could beat their eagerness to do the usual Vlive. Billboard Awards was possible due to the unending supports from Armys. Something that they would cherish for the rest of their life. As soon as they ended their short Vlive, they celebrated their victory together with Bang PD and the rest of the staffs.

Even though everyone insisted Seul’s presence there, but she knew her place. She did nothing to contribute to their winning, so she rejected their offer politely and chose to stay in her room instead. She was not tempted to be in the same room as them tonight, as Seul respected their privacy.

It was way past midnight, yet she didn’t see any sign of Semmy returning to the room. Tired of waiting, she called it a day and getting ready to hit the sack. She tied her hair into ponytail after pampering her skin.

The sound of door bell brought her attention to the door and she strutted to open it “Unnie-“her smile was replaced with a baffle look “What are you doing here?” she sent the latter a questionable look.

Yoongi hummed softly, holding the plastic bag up “I brought drinks, care to have some with me?” Seul was weirded out by his randomness.

“Don’t you have enough drinks today? I thought you guys were celebrating in your room” she held onto the door, showing no sign of letting the rapper inside. Not to be rude, Seul was being careful with her surrounding and the fact that she shared her room with Semmy feared her. What if someone caught them together? It would spark an unnecessary gossip among the staffs.

He ran his tongue over his lips, slipping one of his hand against the door “We have called it a night. I didn’t drink. I am saving it for you” his sinful lips twisted into a smirk. What a sore to her eyes.

“I..don’t drink alcohol though, I have zero tolerance on it. So, care to find someone else to drink those with you? I am sorry” she was about to shut the door, but he held it back chuckling softly.

“Who told you that I brought alcohol? I bring cokes and chips. You have been avoiding me these past few days, lets have a decent talk. Shall we?” Yoongi’s eyes sparked in the iest way. Seul could not say no to that though her mind was having a fit for letting the guy inside. The second she realized, Min Yoongi had made himself comfortable on the queen bed, with his legs crossed.

Seul emitted a soft sigh, closing the door behind her “Min Yoongi, why are you here? If there is one person that I shouldn’t trust in this world, then it would be you” she stood in front of him looking all defensive. To be frank, Min Yoongi did nothing that could harm her. It was her personal issues with her own feeling, to be exact her raging hormones. She couldn’t trust herself around him at all.

Her mind seemed to have the mind of its own. It reacted against her consciences even though she was aware of its consequences on her, she would still do it nonetheless. Ironically, only Min Yoongi had that effect on her.

He looked calm and oddly serious today. Did the winning affect his wrecked brain? Yoongi patted the empty seat beside him, motioning Seul to fill it. The girl’s response made him to roll his eyes in his seat, with that he pulled the overreacting girl beside him.

Seul let out a small gasp, shifting uncomfortably “What are you planning to say? Don’t….do something funny…” she said nervously while making a small space between them.

He frowned “I will only do something funny after I make sure I talk this out with you first” teasing the flustered girl, he held back his chuckle upon witnessing her distressed face. Seul might appear all sassy on the outside but her demeanour could be unpredictable from time to time. Where’s the consistency, Ji Seul.

“Okay speak” Seul pressed her lips together while fiddling with the hem of her shirt. She’s honestly afraid of what might come from Yoongi. Serious Yoongi was not her thing, so she had no idea what to expect from the older guy.

Yoongi passed the cold can to her which she gladly took it. Their fingers brush against each other jolting Seul in her seat. She coughed away the awkwardness, quickly open the drinks and took a long sip from it.

Amused, he studied Seul closely “Why are you so jumpy Seul?” he bit his lower lips with a hidden smile. It made him feel superior to know he’s the reason why she had been acting this way. There was a hope in this relationship after all.

He took a small sip from his drink and expelled a long endearing sigh. It caught Seul’s attention right away and she gathered her courage to say something “Are… you alright? Something is bothering you?” her soft voice was oh-so-soothing in his ears.

“Yes. It is you who has been bothering me” Yoongi played with the sheets beneath him.

“Yoongs..I have no idea what you are about to say but I think I kinda know where this conversation will lead us” she set the drink down on the other side and collected her knees to her chest. Seul was about to prepare her heart just in case this conversation might be the cause of her misery or happiness, whichever it was, Seul had to face it.

Yoongi smiled meekly, “Will you listen to me until I am done?” his voice was soft and husky travel through the ice-cold air. He seemed to be steeling so Seul nodded in assurance. She didn’t want him to think she’s being selfless, so she responded quickly “I want to hear all of it. Tell me” she whispered under her calm breathing.

“I apologize for acting rashly around you. I feel deeply bad. I didn’t mean to disrespect you as a woman. In fact, I do see you as a woman. I want to keep you safe and not to be the cause of your misery. It is crazy how it is hard for me to finally be truthful to myself. I am not good with words. I have no idea how to act around you, to treat you like the way you deserve. I always thought giving into my feelings will weaken me. I end up treating you like some kind of pushover” Seul listened to every word attentively. Sometimes she would be in daze trying to digest Yoongi’s real intention and sincerity.

He took a long pause before continue “ There are a lot of people walking around feeling not the slightest bit of guilty for how they treat others. I thought if I acted the same way it would free me from the problem occur surround me. Some people convinced themselves that they are not responsible for someone else’s feelings. All these years, I learned how to endure it and pretend everything is okay when it is not. I thought when it came to myself, I only had to be selfish. I never consider your feelings and let my emotion cloud my judgement” Seul squeezed her eyes feeling her head pounded over Yoongi’s complicated way of explaining things. It was not her first time to hear such flowery and complicated stuffs coming from him.

“Yoongi, I am sorry.. What is your point? I am a little lost here” her nose scrunched up in confusion.

“Ugh, . Sorry, I really am bad in this. What I am trying to say is..this thing between us is not a joke. I mean when I treated you badly, I meant to make you understand something. ! WHY IS THIS SO HARD” he facepalmed, rubbing his hair roughly with a small grunt.

She reached out to his arm, giving it a soft pat “Calm down, you really need to get to the point. Or I am kicking you out from my room.” she joked only to annoy the wretched man even more. Yoongi shot her a disbelief look while she kept her face straight playing innocent.

“You are impossible” he flashed his dissatisfied smile earning a soft giggle from the playful Seul. She had never acted this comfortable around him, so that was first. Yoongi then returned to compose himself forcing words out from his cold lips.

He almost lost his grip on the can as he noticed the girl’s attention was on him. She was looking at his away adoring his every action as if she’s the girlfriend. Her cheek was rested at the top of her knees, while her lips pursed cutely into a pout. Yoongi cussed in his head loathing this image in front of him. Why must this girl make things harder for him?

“Are you going to make me wait Min?” said Seul in annoyance.

“Alright, listen here. I have a romantic feeling for you! Don’t ask me when it starts, because I can’t really recall. Remember the kisses that I stole from you! It was my way to confirm my feelings for you until you confront me that day. I wasn’t prepared, so I had no answers with me. I REALLY TRIED TO RESTRAIN MYSELF FROM HAVING SOME ROMANTIC THOUGHTS WHEN IT COMES TO YOU! Ugh, hell I tried hard, but it failed me. You are the cause to my sleepless night” Yoongi let out all the frustration bottled up inside him at once leaving the poor girl speechless.

Seul’s brows furrowed, her eyes still soft as she scrutinized Yoongi’s expression seeking for truthfulness and she found it. His eyes flickered in an unexplainable glint and sincerity. “That sounds really awful” she cringed with her chin still resting on her knees.

His eyes instantly enlarged upon hearing Seul’s response “WHICH ONE SOUNDS AWFUL?” he looked disturbed considering he had poured all his heart to this so-called confession only to be look down by the girl that he loved was rather appalling. Bad sign.

“That part where you blame me for your sleepless night. I didn’t ask you think of me before you sleep Min Yoongi!” she let out a soft huff, looking straight into his eyes. “You are cute” she complimented before the guy could reply her earlier protest.

Yoongi shifted shyly in his seat, coughing the heavy lump on his throat “So…am I answering your questions? The kisses were genuine. I did it because I wanted to. I..have feelings for you” he hesitated to indicate he likes her openly so he decided to hint something in hope the girl got the message.

“A romantic one!” he added with a soft blush crept on his pale skin.

He heard the girl expelled a deep sigh “Is it hard for you to say that you like me Yoongi. You really sass till the end. I am impressed” she shook her head in amusement.

“I don’t say romantic thing”

“But you did give me a long explanation that had nothing to do with your actual agenda of meeting me tonight. You.. are annoying” she cringed once again.

Yoongi turned to face Seul, taking her cheeks in his large hands causing the girl to squeal softly at the contact “I. LIKE. YOU” he confessed.

Seul stared at him without blinking, seemingly without breathing for another long moment. Shock rushed through her. The whole system in her body had momentarily paused working. She had gone past the pale stage and she looked grey.

“Seul…” he squeezed her cheek