Chapter 22: What you cant say owns you, what you hide controls you

“What should I wear” Seul rummaged through her closet finding a perfect outfit for her to wear to this so-called date with Yoong. “First of all, why should I pay attention on my outfit? It is just Min Yoongi. Doesn’t mean he is going to show up” she plopped on her bed with sour face.

“It couldn’t be a prank, right? Is he planning to embarrass me?” Seul talked to herself letting out a dramatic gasp in process.

“So, you have a date with Yoongi” her mother voice spooked her a little, causing her to sit up immediately. Mrs Hwang was leaning against the door with a teasing smile on her face. She made her way inside taking a seat beside her daughter “When is the date?” Seul turned crimson red.

“It is not like what you think. He asked me to accompany him to do this stupid bungee jumping” she scowled in annoyance “And it is random” Mrs Hwang gave her hand a soft pat. “Once in a while I’m glad you are living the life like a normal girl at your age” her mother smiled affectionately.

“Living the life like a normal girl at my age, yes. But not with Yoongi” she sassed earning a soft chuckle from the older woman. Seul’s eyes scanned the clothes scattered on her bed trying to spot the best outfit to wear, but it failed her again. Groaning in frustration, she turned to face Mrs Hwang “If I wear this white blouse and skirt, I am not overdressing myself, right?” chewing her lower lips, Seul hoped her mother could be a great help.

As Mrs Hwang soothed the soft fabric, she shot her daughter a bewildered look “Who wears skirt to bungee jumping? You got to be kidding me Seul” realizing her mistake, Seul slapped her forehead scolding her short-minded thinking. Why was she acted all silly today? Was it because of Yoongi? Not this issue again, she had enough.

The older woman pulled out blue skinny jeans underneath piles of clothes and handed it to Seul “Wear this with that blouse you picked earlier, don’t forget to bring your jacket. It is still cold outside” beaming cheerfully, her heavy breathing normalizes. She had no idea choosing an outfit to go out with Yoongi would be this hard, alright maybe she’s the one who complicate things.

“Mind to tell me, what happen between you and the boys? To be exact, Yoongi. You two seem friendly” her expression was unreadable, not even Seul could read what’s on her mind.

“Nothing much, we become friends. The boys are friendly and relatable. I like having them as my friend. As for Yoongi and I, do not have any weird idea because we both are just frenemy? We are not even friend or that is what I thought” her confident level deflated at the thought of Yoongi.

Mrs Hwang eyed her girl with a disapproval look. She was sure there’s more of the story that Seul tried to hide from her. This girl had been showing her resentment towards Yoongi since day one making it appeared suspicious to her.

“Mom, don’t you think Yoongi is a complicated man?” the question had been playing in her head for quite some time, it was matter of time to express it aloud.

“He is a complicated man. But he has the softest heart of all. Seul, Yoongi-ah has been going through a lot of thing in his life. Are you aware that he had depression before?” Seul’s eyes widened in pure shock. It never occurred to her a rough man like Yoongi would have that kind of illness because from her eyes, Yoongi has the strongest character in comparison to others.

“How is it possible? He looks fine to me..I mean…from the way he acted around me, he looks quite strong” she murmured.

Mrs Hwang shook her head “He appears to be strong, but he is a broken young man inside. He too has insecurity. Never trust what they show to you. It is how they mask themselves. What I am trying to say, try to see the other side of them instead of judging how they acted around you. Those boys are still kids to me. Poor kids to experience such thing at this age” she sighed deeply.

Seul forced herself to smile yet it came out bland “It must be hard to live their life as celebrity” she empathized them.

“It is not easy. The only reason why I insist on preparing meals for them because out of all things happen in their life only that makes them feel normal. They work hard all day, shielding their pain and tiredness from the world to chase their dreams. Those boys deserve to be treated like some normal boys, who crave for normal life” her mother’s words got Seul to reflect her attitude towards them back then. She felt small and disgusted of herself. How could she be selfless and refuse to see other point of view? She is not the only one with issues and problems, there are other people outside have awful fate as compared to her.

Her mother the top of her hand and flashed a motherly smile “Do not be too hard on them and yourself. Serious relationship can wait, as for now focus on what makes you happy. Don’t feel burdened by it” her eyes were b with tears now. Mrs Hwang could read her like an open book without she needed to tell her everything that had been haunting her these days.

“Aw, why are you crying?” she cupped Seul cheeks, away the tears that started to stream down wetting her cheeks. Seul chuckled softly “Thank you, mom. You are the best” pulling the love of her heart into a tight embrace.

Will it be harmful to follow the flow of life?

What if someone gets hurt in the end?

What if she needs to make a choice?

Seul shuddered at the though of making a choice when she was not sure of her own feelings.

Bad move, Ji Seul.

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Tapping her feet anxiously, Seul was getting annoyed of waiting. The more she anticipated Yoongi’s face to appear before her, the slower the time moved. It was 5PM and he was nowhere to be seen. Not even a text from him, Yoongi stood her up for sure. She shouldn’t have trusted that guy. Grumpy Seul decided to leave the scene before she made fool of herself. Hugging her jacket close to her body to seek warmth, she stood up from where she sat and left the area.

Sound of heavy footsteps behind her along with faint hollered put her steps at halt. Turning her heels to the source of the voice, she was greeted by the image of Yoongi sprinting for his life towards her direction. Eyeing the guy carefully, Seul grew concern “Yoongi are you alright?” he held his palm out while panting heavily.

The weather was cold, yet she could see bead of sweats on his forehead that started to trickle down his milky skin. She felt guilty. Judging from the way he dressed, he did not even bother to put his black mask over his mouth. Thankfully, his signature bucket hat was enough to cover half of his small face.

“Lets sit down, you look dead” she reached out to touch his arm, leading him to the bench nearby. Yoongi leaned back in his seat, steadying his rapid breathing. His heart was about to jump out soon. Seul on the side couldn’t stop worrying over Yoongi condition, she feared the guy might pass out there by any second now.

She used the end of her jacket to wipe off the sweat on his face gently. The small gesture flustered Yoongi but a soft smile was evident on his face as he enjoyed this little attention that he got. “Calm down your breathing, you will be fine in few minutes” she whispered.

Yoongi took the chance to watch how she puffed her cheeks in and out while dabbing the sweats on his face dried. Even to this extent, Seul knew how to shake the deepest core of his heart. How ironic for someone who’s madly in love. Was he in love?

Inhaling a deep breath, Yoongi held her hand down while smiling softly “Thank you Seul. I am fine now. Sorry, for making you wait” he muttered.

“I thought you stood me up. I was about to leave” she grimaced. Not that it was something to be upset of, but she was freezing. Today’s weather was not helping her either. Yoongi chuckled upon his eyes landed on her Rudolph nose, and gently rubbed it with thumb. Her heart pounded madly at this slight touch, causing her to pull away slowly giving a little space for her to normalize her breathing.

Yoongi softened “I won’t do that because it is a date after all” he winked. She cleared allowing the redness engulfing her cheeks. Seul would never get used to Yoongi sudden change of attitude around her and some more to see Yoongi in different perspective was hard for her. It came to her realization, this softened her as she learnt to accept Yoongi’s rough side. She no longer had negative thoughts on Yoongi well unless he annoyed the hell out of her.

“Are you ready, lets go?” without giving her time to digest, Yoongi had already dragged the clueless girl to the counter. After flashing their admission ticket, one of the workers led the couple to elevator, making their way up to the 24th floor. Her mind started to get dizzy just by hearing the numbers. Just, how tall it would be? She rubbed her sweaty palms against her jeans.

“Yoongi, I am here just to watch you jump right?” she gulped showing off her fear. Yoongi looked at her in disbelief, his forehead creased into a frown “No way, I am dragging you down with me” she shrieked.

“WHAT? NO NO GET ME DOWN NOW. I AM NOT GOING TO JUMP WITH YOU” she started to panic.

Yoongi laughed “I don’t know you are a scaredy-cat” Seul let out a low disapproval scowl, glaring her way to playful Yoongi. “I value my life, so I am not going to jump especially with you. Hell no. You are going to cut off my wire and let me die!”

“That sounds like a good idea. Plotting your murder sounds easier than I thought” he fired back with playful smirk on his face.

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