These days, it was difficult for Minhyun to talk with his NU’EST members. He didn’t have his phone with him most of the time, and he also simply didn’t have time. To talk to s would be to sacrifice much-needed sleep, risk his mother getting angry because he chose to use his phone time to talk to his friends and not his family, and to trigger his stupid manager who seemed to be a lowkey NU’EST anti.

Naturally, Minhyun stopped talking to them much. He only texted them every once in a while in the NU’EST group chat, and they occasionally replied but were mostly unresponsive. Minhyun guessed it was because they were also getting busy. Aron is doing his song with Raina, JR and Ren were endorsing Labiotte, and Baekho was still healing in Jeju with his family.

It was very easy to stop talking to people, Minhyun realized. No matter how tight you are with them, no matter how much you love them, no matter how much you tell yourself that you are going to talk to them everyday– if you aren’t forced to be with them every day, it’s only natural that you’ll stop interacting.

And so, as time went by, the once-active NU’EST group chat became idle, buried under new conversations that now took up the top spots of his Kakao chat list: the Wanna One group chat. The Hyung-line Wanna One group chat. The private chat with Seongwoo. The chat with all Wanna One members except Jisung (they loved playing pranks on the poor leader), the chat with Wanna One Justice League members (also the members he happened to be closest to).

All the while, Seongwoo and Minhyun grew closer, and Jonghyun ceased to become their main object of conversation anymore. Instead, in between schedules and in commutes to their venues, the two opened up to one another and became almost inseparable.

Seongwoo had always been a lone wolf, and he had liked it that way. It was the reason he had wanted to become an actor rather than an idol; he preferred to be solo, to work on his own. When the chance to appear on Produce 101 appeared, he had taken it, thinking he could make his way through it all on his own. And so he auditioned as the only male idol trainee from his company, intending to get in and achieve massive popularity as a part of this temporary idol group.

He didn’t expect to care for let alone actually like any member that would debut with him, but he did. And not just one. Actually, Ong cared for every single one of them.

And he eventually stopped feeling like he was alone. He stopped feeling like he had to deal with things on his own. Eventually, he opened up. He trusted the others, and so made himself vulnerable by letting them into his heart.

It was mostly Daniel, Minhyun and Jaehwan that Ong opened up to. He told them that he was not attracted to females. He told them about his family problems. He told them about his mindset coming into Produce 101, how bitter and selfish he was, but how he completely changed somewhere along the line.

There was only one secret that he kept buried in his heart, thought, and that was that he had fallen in love with Hwang Minhyun.

In love. Seongwoo couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he thought to characterize his feelings for Minhyun in that way. His attraction to Minhyun simply could not be tamed. Living with Minhyun and spending almost all of his time with him only further strengthened what Seongwoo started to feel during Produce 101. Minhyun was just everything.

-

Wanna One was finally granted the afternoon off (only because one of their tenants cancelled on them last minute). Most members decided to use that afternoon to catch up on lost sleep, but Minhyun decided to go to the NU’EST dorm and catch up with s. He also planned to revitalize what he had with JR.

“Are you planning to get physical with him?” Seongwoo asked when Minhyun told him his plan to visit the NU’EST dorm.

Minhyun nodded. “I feel like the two of us are drifting apart, and I’m hoping something like this might help our relationship. I really do love him, Seongwoo, and I want him to feel that. I want to make him feel that.”

Seongwoo nodded as he felt a knot in his heart tighten with jealousy. He really wanted to be the one who Minhyun loved.

“Hey Seongwoo, you’ve had relations with men before, right?” Minhyun asked hesitantly.

“Yes, plenty,” Seongwoo answered. “Do you need advice?”

“Yes, actually,” Minhyun admitted with embarassement. “It’s just that last time I tried to get physical with JR in the supply closet, it didn’t work. It was weird, and I don’t what to do to make things less awkward.”

For a second, Seongwoo debated with himself as to whether or not he should really try to help Minhyun with this dilemma– it’s not normal to give advice to the person you love about how said person can get it on with someone else. But after glancing at Minhyun’s inquisitive eyes, which seemed eager for an answer, Seongwoo couldn’t find it in himself to mislead him.

“The trick is to go straight for jackpot,” Seongwoo told him. “Make his body want it before his mind has the chance to process that it doesn’t. Carnal desires always trump people’s sense of what’s awkward and what’s not, so all you have to do it awaken those desires.”

Minhyun nodded along to the advice, but he still seemed unconfident.

“Okay, I’m Minhyun, you’re Jonghyun,” Seongwoo continued, trying to ease Minhyun’s uncertainties with more clarification. “‘JJu-ya! I love you so much!!!” Ong said in a comically high-pitched voice, making Minhyun laugh.

“I do not talk like that!” Minhyun claimed.

“Jju-ya!” Seongwoo continued teasing with that high-pitched voice, pulling a creepily overplayed aegyo face, making Minhyun roll his eyes.

“You do an awful impression of me,” Minhyun laughed.

Suddenly, Seongwoo’s voice went back to normal: “I love you, Jonghyun-ah,” Seongwoo performed, making sure to hold piercing eye contact with Minhyun.

Minhyun froze. Those words were laced with the sincerity of a lover or of an actor who played the role of a lover very well. And Ong sure knew how to make people drown in his eyes with the way he looked at them.

Just as Minhyun was about to compliment him on his phenomenal acting skills, Seongwoo drew closer to him. Eventually, Minhyun felt the need to take a few steps back to maintain his personal space, but Seongwoo wouldn’t allow it. Already against the wall, Minhyun began to feel Seongwoo’s breath mingle with his own, all the while, unable to break the eye contact.

Seongwoo didn’t stop like Minhyun expected him to. Instead, Ong leaned in and kissed him at the edge of his lips. This was too much, thought Minhyun as he felt his body go numb. Just as he was about to lightly push Seongwoo away, he felt the other lift his knee and rub it against his thigh, and all Minhyun could feel were goosebumps. He stood motionless, eyes wide with surprise and at a complete loss for words.

It was then that Seongwoo released him, stepping back to give Minhyun his personal space. That sharp, sensual expression on his face softened back to the soft, clown-face that Minhyun was more familiar with.

“Of course, your lips need to be smack on top of his mouth,” Seongwoo continued as if instructing him. “Use your tongue and everything. And also your knees: they need to be just a little over where I put mine. Obviously, I couldn’t demonstrate it on you fully because, well, that would be cheating!” Seongwoo had a wide innocent smile on his face, as if he didn’t just give Minhyun the greatest chill he had ever experienced.

“Sorry,” Ong apologized when Minhyun stood there still frozen. “Was that too much? I didn’t mean to, I just wanted to demonstrate. I didn’t kiss you or stimulate you or–”

“It was a little much,” Minhyun cut him off quickly, “but it’s okay. Just never do it again, okay?” Minhyun gulped.

Ong nodded with a guilty expression on his face, and Minhyun rushed past him and locked himself in the bathroom.

He washed his face and tried to tell himself that what just happened was okay. It wasn’t cheating. Their lips didn’t touch, and Seongwoo’s knees only briefly rubbed his thigh in a very platonic way.

Minhyun took a deep breath– he didn’t want to lie to himself. What just happened was cheating, and not because of what Seongwoo did. It was cheating because of the way that it made Minhyun feel.

How is it that this brief encounter with Seongwoo thrilled Minhyun more than anything he had ever done with Jonghyun?