Baekho looked down at the number on the scale with pride. He really had lost a lot of fat weight from how often he went to the gym. Not to mention his shoulders were broader his biceps were becoming more defined. This was probably his most successful gym membership ever. (To be fair though, his past memberships did not set the standard too high given the embarrassing amount of times he paid for a month’s membership only to go for two days and then never go again).

This time, however, he had been going to the gym nearly every day, and he worked out for hours.

He owed it to his gym buddy, he guessed. Baekho truly enjoyed Daniel’s company, and he looked forward to seeing him every single day. Getting up and going to the gym was no longer a taxing endeavor like it used to be. On the contrary, Baekho found that he anticipated it.

One day, however, it appeared like Daniel was running a little late, but he did come in an hour later than usual.

“Sorry, I was recognized and had to fend off a crowd of fangirls,” Daniel explained. He looked worn out and frustrated.

“Looks like you got your exercise for the day then,” Baekho joked, but Daniel didn’t seem like he was in the mood to laugh, which was very unlike Daniel.

Baekho decided not to pry and left the guy alone with his weights. Clearly Daniel was not in the gossiping mood now, which because Baekho had a lot of gossip he had been excited to share (JR kissing Minhyun; Minhyun definitely being affected by it).

The more that Baekho watched the guy, however, the more he began to feel like this was not just a case of a temporary bad mood. Something was seriously bothering the guy.

Baekho eventually confronted him about it.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked as he set himself down on the bench beside him.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Daniel mumbled.

Baekho narrowed his eyes in disbelief.

“I think I want to leave idol life,” Daniel confessed suddenly. “For good.”

Bakheo was surprised and inquired further, and Daniel explained to him the reason for his choice: It to not have privacy. It that his every move was under constant surveillance. It that everyone up to him because he was Kang Daniel, the nation’s most popular star.

It that he was alone and that his circumstances were making it very hard to find a romantic partner. He really wanted a partner, but everyone around him was either his fangirl… or fake.

It that he couldn’t even do something as simple as walk in the streets without a mask on. Even going out to buy ice cream was an expedition. He was denied so many small joys because of his explosive popularity which was a curse disguised as a blessing.

He had been feeling that way for a long time, but it was only when Wanna One disbanded that the feeling began to eat him up. Suddenly, he didn’t have his friends with him every day anymore. He felt the emptiness left by their absence from his life, and the life of stardom he was living just didn’t feel worth it anymore.

“So are you going to step down from celebrity life?” Baekho asked him.

“Do you think I should?” Daniel asked, looking up to Baekho as if seeking advice.

“You need to make that decision for yourself. Your mental health comes first of course, but there is also a lot more that you need to think about, Daniel. Your fans will be heartbroken. And think about your future too. You’re pretty much guaranteed a life of wealth if you stay on the celebrity path. But if you step down, you won’t have that anymore, and you need to fend for yourself some other way. Also, you’ll always be famous in Korea, Daniel. Even if you’re no longer an active celebrity, you’re still a celebrity.”

Daniel nodded along to what Baekho was saying, considering everything that he was saying with careful thought.

Baekho was right. If he wanted to leave celebrity life for good, he needed to do a lot more than just stop being an idol.

He needed to move out of the country altogether.

-

“I kissed him. I’m sorry, but I really, really wanted to. You should know that he did push me away though. If you want to hit me, I’ll let you.”

When Seongwoo read Jonghyun’s message that morning, he felt like his heart was sinking.

After that unsuccessful date where Seongwoo confirmed that Minhyun was still enamored by his ex, this happened.

He was angry. But more than anything else, he was hurt, as the prospect of losing Minhyun suddenly became so much more pronounced.

Why are you even going through with this ? The rational, logical side of his brain yelled at him. That part of his brain wanted him to break up with Minhyun now and spare himself the upcoming heartbreak when Minhyun finally gives in and goes running back to Jonghyun.

It’s going to happen sooner or later, his brain told him. So why are you even holding on?

If only Seongwoo could act according to that rational voice in his head, the voice that had once been his sole guidance. Now, that voice was often suppressed by that stupid heart of his who was whipped for Minhyun and could not let him go.

And Minhyun did not make it easy for him at all either.

When Minhyun first asked him to be his boyfriend, Seongwoo rationally declined that offer, but Minhyun insisted that he was serious about him, and they became boyfriends.

When 2019 came, and Seongwoo tried to break up, Minhyun didn’t kissed him in the YMC parking lot, and they stayed boyfriends.

And now, when Seongwoo had just started reconsidering breaking up, Minhyun came swooping in to lull him again.

Minhyun came to Fantagio’s practice room after Seongwoo had turned off his phone and resolved to not talk to Jonghyun or Minhyun for at least 24 hours to clear his thoughts and set himself straight and decide what he wanted to do.

And Minhyun had been trying to call Seongwoo all morning since finding out that Jonghyun did indeed text Seongwoo about how he kissed him. Minhyun wanted Seongwoo to know that it changed nothing, but struggled to reach him.

He went into the Fantagio building and found Seongwoo there practicing choreo with other Fantagio trainees.

“Can I talk to you alone, please?” Minhyun requested pleadingly. “Please.”

“I’m kind of busy now,” Seongwoo replied, still determined to meet his goal of not talking to Minhyun until after he’s made up his mind. “We can talk later.”

Minhyun then turned to the other trainees in the room, giving them his graceful polite smile, and kindly asked them to give them privacy. The trainees all bowed and scurried out of the practice room obediently.

“Minhyun, come on,” Seongwoo groaned when the door to the practice room was closed. “Can’t you see that I wanted to be away from you for a while?”

“I couldn’t handle that,” Minhyun replied as he took a few steps closer. Seongwoo let him invade his personal space and didn’t push him back, which gave Minhyun the incentive to keep going. He took Seongwoo’s chin in his hand and softly brushed his lips against his boyfriend’s. Seongwoo wanted to stand his ground and not kiss him back to make a statement, but he failed and ended up responding to the kiss.

Seongwoo only wondered if this kiss made him feel just as good as Jonghyun’s did last night.

When they finally parted, Seongwoo sighed and nudged away from Minhyun.

“Was that supposed to be a kiss of reassurance or something?” Seongwoo asked him.

“Maybe,” Minhyun told him. “I didn’t know how else to communicate to you that what happened last night changes nothing.”

Seongwoo nodded, feeling his resolve weaken and his heart go soft for Hwang Minhyun again. Why does that man make him so weak all the time?

“I’ll take your word for it,” Seongwoo said. “But I do want you to think before you say these things. Because even if it makes me feel happy in the short term, will it blow up in my face in the long term? Because if that’s the case, I want you to stop holding on to what we have and making me feel false hope. I would rather things end sooner than later.”

From the way that Minhyun’s shoulder drooped slightly at Seongwoo’s address, Seongwoo could tell that those words resonated with him.

“I love you,” Seongwoo said, knowing that those three little words would be the final guilting blow. And as usual, Minhyun stiffened when he heard them.

Instead of responding to that with his words, Minhyun stepped forward and embraced his boyfriend. Seongwoo wondered what was going through Minhyun’s head as he s his arms around him to hug him back.

There were a lot of things going on in Minhyun’s head at the moment. The truth was that Minhyun had been confused and frustrated since last night, and that he came to Seongwoo, because he felt like it was the right thing to do.

Now, with what Seongwoo was telling him, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

He wasn’t sure if he was being true to himself and therefore fair to Seongwoo. He wasn’t sure if it was right to say that nothing had changed when in fact, he had been feeling very different since Jonghyun’s confession.

Maybe, he was lying to Seongwoo right now, and maybe Seongwoo was right to suggest that this was nothing but short-term satisfaction that is pushing back the immanent hurt, but Minhyun desperately did not want to hurt him.

That was why he was there, actually.

Minhyun was trying to be upright and good to his boyfriend. He was trying to be loyal in heart and soul to his boyfriend. He felt like this was a responsibility on his shoulders, and he was trying so hard to fulfill that, even at the expense of his own feelings.

Perhaps that was why he was trying so hard to forget the butterflies he felt from Jonghyun’s kiss. Trying to suppress the resurfacing feelings. Trying to bury them so they never come back and make him shirk his responsibilities to his actual lover.

Minhyun is a person who cares about rules and social standards– to him, being upright is about how well you adhere to those rules. It’s why he is always so clean and organized. It’s why he is always so polite and smiley. Even if he was having a bad day, or if someone was bothering him, Minhyun always smiled and hid his true emotions to upkeep to social standards of politeness. He wasn’t like Baekho, for example, who was always true to his feelings even at the expense of appearing cold and unfriendly.

Perhaps this was another case of Minhyun concealing himself to be decorous and upright. Perhaps he was treating his relationship with Seongwoo like a social responsibility he was obliged to fulfill, which is why his real feelings were not given time to fester.

Minhyun hated to think that he was being dishonest right now. And the problem was he didn’t even know if he was anymore.

He was so confused, and Minhyun knew that Seongwoo was aware of that confusion. Seongwoo always saw right through him after all.

-

JR did not regret it at all. He was actually glad to have done it and that Minhyun has pushed him away, because finally he got proper closure about the whole thing. Finally, it was clear that Minhyun was out of reach, and finally, they had established boundaries that would help them grow apart so that they can move on from this slump.

He was happy the following day. He felt okay. Even though it was hard to act like a stranger in front of Minhyun, hard to not look at him, hard to not talk to him, it was all for the best and he knew it. Finally, it felt like this was a step in the right direction.

And the kiss lingered with JR for many days as well. He would never forget it. How he wished that it had felt like that when they were actually together. The adrenaline rush and the tingly skin. The impulse to just keep indulging in everything about the other. Why hadn’t it been there before?

It took losing Minhyun for JR to realize how much he had wanted him in the first place. It took losing him to awaken that once-dormant attraction that often accompanied love, a love that JR had harbored for for a very long time.

It was regrettable that he would never get to satiate that attraction now. He would never get to indulge in Minhyun’s lips with the other fully accepting it. He would never get to fully experience what Minhyun’s warm skin felt against his own, and what it felt to be aroused by him. What it felt to make love to him.

Those thoughts did start pouring into Jonghyun’s head after that kiss, and although it was sad that they would remain unfulfilled fantasies, JR was at peace knowing he at least stopped suppressing them. It felt somehow liberating to accept his own feelings, no matter how selfish and stupid and shallow they were. Accepting them was one step closer to overcoming them after all.

-

“I spent last night looking into universities,” Daniel told Baekho a few days later at the gym. “I think I want to apply to a university in some random state in America.”

“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?” Baekho said with slight regret. He had thought that Daniel would forget about it, but the guy seemed determined.

“I really am. I even already contacted a lawyer to look into what it would take to terminate my contract,” Daniel answered. “I can’t wait to be able to walk in the streets without wearing a mask! I can’t wait to go out on the street to buy ice cream without worrying about being mobbed! Maybe I’ll find a girlfriend or boyfriend who likes me for me and not because I’m famous…”

Baekho smiled at him. Daniel seemed so happy just imagining it. “So what are you going to study in university? Dance? Theater? Music?”

“Hell no. I’m going into something basic like accounting. I already experienced an extraordinary life, and now I’m just dreaming of a basic one.”

Baekho nodded along and then asked: “Have you told anyone about this?”

“I’m afraid to tell. Especially Jisung. We’ve been together for so long, and it will be weird to be separated from him.”

“What about Seongwoo?” Baekho asked the question that had been in his head ever since he knew Daniel was planning to move away. “How would it feel to be separated from him?”

Daniel’s face visibly fell at the mention of the man he had feelings for. He then shrugged and said: “I don’t like feeling jealous of my friends. It would be good to get away from him.”

Baekho sighed. “And I was counting on you for a happy ending to this story.”

“What?”

“I thought that when Minhyun and Seongwoo finally break up, you can go be with Seongwoo. That way, at the end, everyone’s happy and there’s no one left with a broken heart and bitter feelings.”

Daniel narrowed his eyes at Baekho: “But I thought you hated Seongwoo. Why does it matter if he ends up broken-hearted?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be happy at the end of this story with where I’m going…”

“But still…”

“Just admit that you don’t hate him anymore,” Daniel laughed.

“I do. I just feel sorry for him, that’s all,” Baekho said. “That loser is totally infatuated with a big-headed idiot destined for someone else.”

“Says you. Personally, I think Ong and Minhyunnie will pull through to the end.”

Baekho huffed in amusement. “They’ll be over in one year tops.”

“Wanna bet?” Daniel asked. “If Ong and Minhyun end up staying together for over a year, you have to come visit me in the USA, and your straight will have to take me out. But if they break up and Jonghyun and Minhyun get back together, I’ll introduce you to Jisung’s gorgeous older sister who has a thing for you.”

Baekho burst out laughing at that. “Deal,” he said. “Can’t wait to meet her!”

-

“Thank you…” Seongwoo told Minhyun that night when they went on another date that night (a date for which Minhyun decided to skip practice, thinking that JR had no right to get mad at him for it).

“For what?” Minhyun asked him.

“For pushing him away when he kissed you.”

Minhyun turned toward his boyfriend with a guilt-ridden expression: “That’s not something you should thank me for, Seongwoo. It’s a responsibility, not a favor.”

“In that case, is it also a responsibility of mine to beat him up?” Seongwoo said, only half-joking. “To be honest, I’m very tempted. I think it fits in with my role as your jealous, bitter boyfriend.”

“You wouldn’t,” Minhyun didn’t really take it as a joke.

“If you allow me, maybe I would,” Seongwoo shrugged.

“In that case, don’t even think about it,” Minhyun replied. “Don’t even talk about it!”

That silenced Seongwoo, and he felt stupid for even bringing it up. Of course Minhyun would be very sensitive to the prospect of Jonghyun getting hurt.

“I’m not talking to Jonghyun anymore,” Minhyun said to Seongwoo. “Maybe that would make you feel better.”

It didn’t, really. No matter how much the two kept a distance, they still lived together, worked together, bound to one another for God knows how long.

The only thing that would make Seongwoo feel better was if Jonghyun would just disappear.

-

The months passed, and in those months, a lot of things happened.

NU’EST released a new album, which meant that all five members were too busy to think about anything else but the comeback. It meant that their minds were too occupied with hitting the notes and getting the choreography down to worry about much else.

Minhyun and JR had to work together and communicate through this comeback, even though they had decided to keep a distance. But besides when on in album prep discussion or in front of cameras, both JR and Minhyun did not speak at all. They maintained a “business relationship” of sorts.

Minhyun and Seongwoo also stopped seeing each other, mostly because comeback times were too busy and there was no time for dates and whatnot. But it was also because Minhyun had decided to think carefully about what to do and whether or not it was even right to hold onto Seongwoo.

Lastly, their promotions just happened to overlap with DIA again. This meant that Jonghyun and Jooeun had started to talk again in when they were backstage. Minhyun tried not to let it bother him. He tried to ignore it when he saw it, and he succeeded most of the time. He told himself that they were just talking to one another as friends, which made it easier to handle.

But then one day, Minhyun saw a notification of text message from Jooeun on JR’s phone. He didn’t want to pry, but he couldn’t help but read the message: “Come to my home when you’re done with schedules. We can order chicken and watch anime.” Later, he saw JR read the message and replied back with a small smile on his face.

He later learned from Aron that the two were back together, but JR didn’t want to tell him for whatever reason.

Minhyun didn’t have the right to feel bad over this. He tried very, very hard to control his feelings by telling himself that this was a good thing: the girl was making him happy. JR was moving on well, which meant he was no longer hurting.

But no matter how much he tried to be positive about this, it still drove him crazy.

He wanted to stop lying to himself.

He was jealous.

-

My dearest Wanna One members:

I don’t know how I’m going to tell you this, but I think I should tell you now before you see it in the tabloids next week.

I have decided to leave the idol industry. It’s been very hard for me after we disbanded, and I don’t think I can handle this kind of life anymore if it’s not spent with you guys.

I guess the bigger issue at hand is that I’ve also decided to leave Korea and go somewhere where I can live an ordinary life. I got accepted to the University of Mississippi and I’ll be studying economics there. I know that sounds so random and drastic, but please note that I have thought a lot about this more than you know.

I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you. But I didn’t know how to do it.

Anyways, I’ll be moving in a month. There’s still time for us to hang out more before I leave for good.

The news had shocked all s. Some of them protested and tried to talk Daniel out of it, but it was clear that it was something he was determined to go through with, and so they could not help but offer their support.

Daniel decided to throw a going-away party the night before he travelled for good, where he invited all of his close friends. All Wanna One members were invited to this party, along with some others, including Baekho of course. (The other three NU’EST members, however, were not close enough to Daniel).

The party was nice and fun– very Daniel- like. People were dancing and drinking and all in all having a good time. Even Minhyun, who rarely ever drank, was drinking.

Baekho felt a bit lonely though. The only attendees to whom he was particularly close were Minhyun and Daniel, both of whom were busy; Minhyun was catching up with his Wanna One members and his boyfriend (who Baekho still did not like, no matter how much time passed); Daniel was greeting his guests and telling them about his plans. Baekho felt a bit excluded.

Baekho awkwardly hovered around, chatting with random people he recognized. He didn’t like drinking alcohol much, but he took a glass just to fill the time and not look awkward. Eventually when he exhausted all possible small talk with random people, he had nothing to do but look at his phone, and he found a message in the NU’EST groupchat that amused him a little bit.

Jonghyun: guys… Jooeun is with me in our dorm right now. Can I please ask you all to spend the night outside? I already called Bumzu he said you’re all welcome to stay with him tonight. Please??? Don’t come in no matter what!

Aron and Minki sent him a series of teasing jabs, egg-plant and tongue-sticking-out emojis, and Baekho joined in on the fun. The prude Kim Jonghyun, who had once been too shy to even look at a girl, was finally hitting the jackpot.

Baekho was happy for Jonghyun, but he wondered how Minhyun would feel when he saw the message.

He wanted to know, and so he watched Minhyun for as long as it took for him to finally check the messages on his phone.

Baekho watched Minhyun read the messages, and then briskly putting the phone back in his pocket. Minhyun was definitely unsettled by the messages, as Baekho knew he would be.

The rest of the night, Minhyun was quieter than usual, but everyone was much too drunk to notice. Only Baekho was sober enough to see it.

“Can I talk to you, Minhyun?” Baekho said, pulling Minhyun out from his table with the Wanna One members. Minhyun didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, and he let himself be pulled away outside in the hallways where they could talk without being heard.

“What?” Minhyun asked when Baekho eyed him in disapproval.

“Did Jonghyun’s message bother you that much?” Baekho asked, his arms crossed.

Minhyun couldn’t pretend otherwise even though he wanted to. But Dongho would see right through him. He heaved a heavy sigh and said: “it’s just that… I feel like once he crosses that threshold with her… it’s like… I… I… I have to go back to the dorm.”

“Are you crazy?” Baekho replied.

“I’m sorry… I’m going now,” he began to rush toward the exit, but Baekho grabbed his wrist.

“What are you going to do? Barge into the dorm while they’re and confess your love to him? Not the right time!”

“It’s not… I don’t…” Minhyun struggled to find his words. “I’m sorry; I have to go.” He pulled his arm out of Baekho’s and rushed away. Baekho sighed. He wasn’t sure how drunk Minhyun was and if that would cause Minhyun to do something very stupid, but he decided to just hope for the best. Not like he could stop him anyways.

He went back into the party and sat down in a corner table away from everyone else. Seongwoo approached him a minute later, clearly very drunk with a bottle of wine in his hand, and he asked Baekho where Minhyun was.

“He left,” Baekho told him.

“But why?” Seongwoo slurred.

“Ask him yourself,” Baekho answered, not wanting to get involved with what could potentially become a serious quarrel between the two boyfriends. It was Minhyun’s job to tell Seongwoo the painful truth, not his.

But it seemed like Seongwoo already knew why. “He went to find Jonghyun, didn’t he?” he mumbled drunkenly before chugging down more from the bottle in his hand.

“Enough drinking,” Baekho said, prying the bottle from his hand. “You’re going to pass out.”

“Why are you avoiding my question?” he drawled, pouting as the bottle was seized from his hand.

“Because it’s none of my business,” Baekho answered.

Then Seongwoo did something that Baekho had never seen him do before; he began to cry. Baekho blinked twice and stared blankly at the guy, not sure of how to react to the sudden stream falling from his eyes. It wasn’t drunken sob tears that Baekho could have easily laughed at; these were silent, genuine tears that seemed to have come from the heart, and so Baekho couldn’t find it in himself to tease the guy.

Embarrassed, Seongwoo took a seat beside Baekho and buried his face in his hands to hide his falling tears

“Please cover me,” Seongwoo muffled. “I don’t want people to see me like this.”

Baekho sat at an angle to help cover him from the other people at the party. At this point, Seongwoo was wiping his tears with his sleeves and trying to stop himself from crying, but he appeared much too drunk to stop.

“Tell me the truth, Dongho,” Seongwoo mumbled through his sniffles. “Is Minhyun going to break up with me soon?”

Baekho sighed. As much as he hated the guy, he was pitiful now and Baekho felt sorry for him. “Look,” Baekho answered. “I don’t know what goes on in Minhyun’s head. Don’t ask me. And I think you need to leave this party now and get yourself together. If people see you crying, it will ruin your image as the annoying clown.”

“I can’t go anywhere this drunk,” he muffled. “I was counting on Minhyunnie to my drunk . I wanted to surprise him with a hotel room tonight but…” he trailed off, and then buried his face in hands again, and began to cry harder.

“Damnit, Seongwoo, get yourself together. You’re embarrassing yourself,” Baekho lectured with a frown. “I’ll go get Daniel to help you get a cab home.”

“No!” Seongwoo exclaimed, holding Baekho’s arm tight before he could leave. “I don’t want him to see me like this. I don’t want anyone to see me like this. Please don’t let anyone else see me like this.”

Baekho sighed. He didn’t know why he was doing this guy a favor, but he figured he would put aside his hatred for just one night.

-

Minhyun stood in front of the door to their dorm. On the door, there was a sticky note in JR’s handwriting: ‘please don’t come in. And if you absolutely have to, call first.’

Minhyun considered calling, but then held himself.

What was he even doing there? What was he going to say to Jonghyun? What did he want to say?

He knew he was a little bit tipsy and out of his mind, and so he told himself to not do anything at all or he would regret it later, and so he just stood there in front of the door, stranded and unsure of what to do now.

He sat on the staircase and just waited. For what exactly, he was not so sure.

He must have drifted off to sleep, because he was nudged awake by JR, who told him to go inside and sleep. The leader took his arm and helped the tired, barely conscious Minhyun sit up.

Minhyun saw Joouen standing there behind JR, but he didn’t pay much attention to her. He just reveled in JR’s touch, no matter how fleeting it was. He let JR guide him into the dorm, pretending that he did actually need JR’s help.

“Sorry I hogged the dorm,” JR apologized quickly before turning back to the door.

“Where are you going?” Minhyun asked him tiredly.

“I’m going to take Jooeun back home,” JR answered, leaving before Minhyun had time to say anything else.

When JR was gone, Minhyun felt a headache. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol he drank at the party or because of how much this situation hurt him.

He looked at his watch: it was 4am and his back was killing him from the stairs he had been sleeping on. He looked at his phone and saw tons of missed calls from Seongwoo and Baekho.

He felt like he was making a mess of so many things right now. Did he really abandon his boyfriend at a party to go after his ex? Did he really crash a night between his ex and the girlfriend? What the hell was wrong with him?

Right now, he was too tired and sleepy to try and fix things. He would think about this in the morning. He trudged toward his closet for pajamas, and found a box of condoms with the packets sprawled across the floor.

JR must have borrowed one. In a very messy way.

Minhyun tried to suppress his imagination from running wild, but he couldn’t and it drove him crazy. Suddenly, he was no longer sleepy.

By the time JR had come back to the dorm, Minhyun had showered and was now cleaning his room. He found Minhyun picking up the sprawled little packets of condoms and putting them back in the box.

“I… uh… I took one. Sorry,” JR admitted embarrassedly.

Minhyun forced himself to smile. “Don’t apologize. I’m glad you’re being safe. You can have them if you want,” he said, putting the box in JR’s hand. Minhyun didn’t think he would ever use them again.

“No, it’s okay,” he said, giving them back to Minhyun, with flushed pink cheeks.

“Was it fun?” Minhyun suddenly asked, aware that they still were on business relationship terms and that the question had gone past that boundary.

JR hesitated, looking away shyly. “Yeah,” he answered faintly, scratching the back of his neck. “It was fun.”

“It must have been better than when we were together,” Minhyun added superfluously, making JR stiffen uncomfortably. Minhyun didn’t know why he brought up that painfully awkward experience of four years ago, when they were young and stupid and didn’t know what they were doing. It was obviously something that neither of them wanted to remember.

JR didn’t reply to that.

Minhyun then asked another question: “Be honest: do you really like her?”

JR nodded. “I do.”

“Good for you,” Minhyun said, again forcing himself to smile as he felt his heart shatter. “Does that mean you’re over me? We can start talking normally again, right?”

“Maybe not yet,” was JR’s answer. “And we should also stop talking now. This conversation isn’t helping me. Good night.”

Minhyun sighed, feeling the headache grow stronger as he watched JR go into his room.

Was Minhyun ever going to get over him? It seemed like trying to distance himself from him was not working. The feelings were just becoming more and more prominent and they were now driving him crazy.

He couldn’t bury them any longer.

He had trusted that they would go away eventually, and that he would finally be able to truly tell Seongwoo that he loved him. Now, he has lost that confidence in himself, and realized that he couldn’t hold onto his boyfriend anymore, not when his heart was so volatile.

As hard as it would be, he knew it was only right to end things with Seongwoo once and for all.

Seongwoo, I really need to talk to you. Can we meet asap please?

A/N: OK so this chapter was long and hard to write! I’m hoping that from now on I will be able to write this story quicker because I think im over the writer’s block? Or maybe not idk we’ll see when I write the next chapter ^^;