The first few days after the break-up were very hard, for both of them. But as the days went by, they got over it. Both of them were too busy to think about it, and they found that their hectic schedules had actually made it easy to cope.

Seongwoo figured it out; he saw right through Minhyun in the days following the break-up. After confronting Minhyun and asking him what was wrong, Minhyun admitted the truth. “We’re taking a break,” Minhyun had told him.

From Seongwoo’s experience, ‘taking a break’ was just a euphemism for breaking up. Seongwoo should have felt happy about that, but somehow, he wasn’t. Instead, he was worried about Minhyun, aware of how long the two had been together and how hard it must be on him to finally separate after such a long run.

“Are you okay?” Seongwoo asked, genuinely concerned.

“I’ll survive,” Minhyun replied.

“If you ever need to talk, I’m here,” Seongwoo offered.

Minhyun nodded, “I know. Thank you.”

While Minhyun had Seongwoo for emotional support through this tough period, JR had Baekho, Aron and Ren. Although JR didn’t tell them, the three of them knew. No words were needed; just seeing JR cry already told them all they needed to know.

Baekho especially felt guilty, realizing that Minhyun broke up with JR around the same time that he angrily berated Minhyun for ‘defending’ Seongwoo. Maybe he was part of the reason that Minhyun felt compelled to do it.

Stupid, stupid big-head, thought Baekho in frustration. Baekho was regretful, but also angry at Minhyun’s rash decision that left their leader brokenhearted. Why couldn’t the idiot just talk to them more to resolve this? It was miscommunication that caused this conflict in the first place after all.

Baekho tried to reach Minhyun again to try and talk him out of it, but Minhyun remained unreachable for a long time. Eventually, Baekho called Guanlin and asked to talk to Minhyun, but Minhyun just told Baekho he was busy and hung up.

Minhyun wanted to stay disconnected from NU’EST for a while after the break-up, and so he was. The NU’EST members got the message too, and so, for two weeks, Minhyun and s cut contact.

After the two weeks were over, both Minhyun and JR had felt much better, and Minhyun eased into talking with them again. When he did, he got a scolding from Baekho and Ren, but Minhyun took the time to explain his decision and make them understand it. Eventually, and they stopped pestering him about it and accepted that it was over.

It took a while for Jonghyun to start speaking to Minhyun normally again. It started with brief text exchanges, but later things fell together again. It was not like before, of course, but Minhyun would say that they were doing quite well, far better than most broken up couples.

Minhyun didn’t regret it. Although it hurt sometimes, he was glad that it was over and out of his head. It was actually liberating to not feel chained to Jonghyun, to not feel like they had to talk every single day to be a real couple, to not feel like he was holding JR from dating a girl he liked. It was like a burden fell off Minhyun’s shoulders, and he would not have it any other way.

Something else that happened as a consequence of Minhyun’s distance with JR is that he grew so much closer to his Wanna One members.

Minhyun had never been able to play a hyung role before, as he was the youngest in his family, and the second youngest in NU’EST. He never got to be a mentor and guide like he was now to most of the Wanna One members. He found that he liked that role; it suited him. He liked having younger siblings to look after and protect.

He never imagined that he would grow so attached to them. In Produce 101, he had liked them, but the competitive spirit had prevented them from growing as close they could have been. Now, there was no competition. They were a team, and they all tried to make the most of the little time that they had together.

-

Seongwoo did not make any more plans to get to Minhyun; he had already decided to back off. Even if Minhyun was technically single, Seongwoo made a conscious decision to stop pushing something that Minhyun didn’t seem to want. Minhyun was already aware of Seongwoo’s feelings; if he wanted something to happen, then Minhyun would have done something about it by now.

It was hard on Seongwoo, who, despite everything, was still hopelessly in love with him, knowing full well that Minhyun didn’t feel the same way.

Even if Minhyun had distanced himself from Jonghyun, and even if they broke up, Seongwoo could tell from the way Minhyun’s eyes twinkled whenever anyone talked about Jonghyun, that Minhyun was definitely still in love. It was the sad reality that Seongwoo had come to terms with, the reality that made Seongwoo feel hopeless and doomed to feel unrequited love for God knows how long.

One night, however, Seongwoo lost control of himself and made a move.

Minhyun and Seongwoo ended up being hotel roommates in Singapore, and the company that brought them there covered all room service expenses. Seongwoo therefore took the liberty to order expensive drinks.

He drank a little too much that night, so much that Minhyun had to wrestle the bottle from his hands to stop him from drinking anymore.

“Enough, Ong,” Minhyun scolded him. “You’re going to have a hangover in the morning if you drink anymore.”

“You’re right,” Seongwoo slurred, quite drunk. “I should go to sleep, shouldn’t I?”

“Yes, you should.”

Seongwoo stood up, but stumbled as he made his way to the bed. Minhyun rolled his eyes and helped the disoriented Ong walk to his bed.

“You smell nice, Emperor,” Seongwoo told him and he leaned his nose into Minhyun’s chest.

Minhyun scoffed, amused. “You’re calling me Emperor? Really?”

“Don’t act surprised! You know I love you,” Seongwoo blurted.

“You love me?” Minhyun asked.

“No, I’m in love with you.”

“Okay, enough. You’re drunk,” Minhyun muttered, helping Seongwoo into his bed.

Seongwoo pulled Minhyun onto the bed with him, forcing him to sit beside him. Minhyun complied and sat there without protest.

“Can I kiss you, Emperor?” Seongwoo asked him, turning to face him.

Minhyun had a blank expression on his face. He didn’t respond to Seongwoo’s question. He just looked in the other’s direction, and Seongwoo took that as his cue to kiss him.

And so he did. Leaning forward, Seongwoo indulged in his Emperor’s lips for the first time, and the Emperor didn’t stop him.

-

The second time, it was Minhyun who initiated. And neither of them were drunk.

It was during a truth and dare game that the members were playing. Jaehwan dared Minhyun to kiss a member of his choice on the lips, and Minhyun chose Seongwoo.

Grabbing Seongwoo’s collar, Minhyun brought Seongwoo closer and kissed his lips.

The members all laughed and pointed at them, ohing and ahing at the embarrassing interaction. When Minhyun pulled away from him, Seongwoo was more flustered than he had ever been his entire life, which also caused the other members to roar with laughter. The Ong Seongwoo was flustered? Hwang Minhyun did that!

Seongwoo had a stupid smile on his face all throughout the rest of the game. When it was his turn, Sungwoon asked him: “did you enjoy Minhyun’s kiss?”

“I loved it,” Seongwoo answered honestly.

“Ohhhhhh!” the members all guffawed and pointed between the two of them.

Minhyun only smiled, bit his lower lip and looked away. Meanwhile, Seongwoo stared at him with amazement. Was this really happening? Was this perhaps Minhyun opening the door to some possibility between them? It was too good to be true, he thought.

The next time Seongwoo got Minhyun alone that night, he asked the question he was dying to ask: “what was that about back there?”

To be honest, Minhyun also wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t sure why he boldly kissed Seongwoo in front of all the members, and he also wasn’t sure why he enjoyed it. Yes, he enjoyed it and chose not to deny it. He enjoyed it the first time when Seongwoo was drunk, and he enjoyed it now, when Seongwoo wasn’t.

It was only long after the kiss, when Minhyun had time to actually dwell on it and what it made him feel, that Minhyun felt lousy about it, especially because Jonghyun came to his mind.

He couldn’t help but compare. Kissing Jonghyun had always been sloppy and rushed and awkward, but with Seongwoo, it was a different feeling. It was one of excitement, and a physical rushing feeling in his abdomen that made him want to kiss Seongwoo more and more and more.

With Ong, there was definitely physical attraction and a spark; with Jonghyun there was only a very deep and intimate emotional attachment.

It was for that reason that Minhyun answered Seongwoo’s question like this: “it was just for the game, Seongwoo. Don’t misunderstand.”

Seongwoo narrowed his eyes. Just for the game? Yeah right. He was actually offended that Minhyun would think he was that dumb. It definitely was more than a game for Minhyun– Seongwoo knew it from the way that Minhyun kissed him. It wasn’t just a smack of lips against lips, there was a kind of longing indulgence on Minhyun’s part that made the kiss feel like anything but a game.

“I would love to play this ‘game’ with you again then,” Seongwoo offered.

-

They played that ‘game’ again the next time they were alone together many weeks later. The funny thing was neither of them was sure who initiated said game; they just ended with their lips together making out in the music show waiting room.

“Is it still just a game?” Seongwoo asked when they finally parted to catch their breaths.

“Yes,” Minhyun answered before leaning in to kiss him again.

And Minhyun told himself that it really was just a game. He only kissed Seongwoo because he craved the adrenaline rush. It was not that he was in love with Seongwoo or anything.

Jonghyunnie… Jonghyun was the person he was in love with.

When Minhyun kissed Seongwoo, he suppressed the memory of Jonghyun and what they had still had together, but it could not help but resurface many minutes later. When it did, Minhyun did feel a looming sense of guilt, but tried to justify himself.

They were broken up. They weren’t together. And even if they were together, it was under ‘open relationship’ conditions, which allowed for these kinds of things to happen.

This was okay.

But Jonghyunnie…

-

Since Minhyun broke up with him, five other girls had confessed to him, three of them were idols. JR let them all down the same way, with a lovely smile on his face saying: “I’m sorry, my company doesn’t let me date in this time, but I would love to have your number.” He kept all the numbers he ever received, but never actually contacted them.

He also never told Minhyun about these confessions.

Still, he never stopped missing Minhyun, but it did get easier over time, when NU’EST W finally made their comeback and the bliss of their success quickly healed the heartbreak that JR thought he would sulk in for a longer than he did.

He was strangely happy, and eventually, he decided that he would stop thinking about Minhyun, stop reveling in the past, and start enjoying what he now had while he had it.

The next time that Wanna One and NU’EST W had the same schedule, JR was prepared to see Minhyun again. He thought his heart could take it that he would be fine, but that was much, much easier said than done.

It was hard to see his lovely Minhyun again, standing tall and elegant with a bright smile on his face. His heart stirred at the sight of him, and he realized just how much he missed him, how much he wanted to be with him.

“Jonghyunnie, I missed you,” Minhyun told him as JR peered at him with a heavy heart.

It had been over a month since they’d decided to go on a “break.” Seeing each other face to face suddenly brought back the heartache that JR thought he was long over.

JR tried to be normal with Minhyun; he really did, but he found that he was just fishing for small talk, and there was this tension in the air that he couldn’t get over.

“Minhyun, I think it’s better if we just don’t talk,” JR eventually said. “It’s too hard for me.”

Minhyun’s face visibly fell when he heard that. He nodded in understanding, and stopped talking.

-

“What are you doing?” Seongwoo nudged Minhyun shortly after NU’EST W finished their performance, and a new group was preparing for their stage.

“Watching performances, what else?” Minhyun replied, staring blankly at the stage ahead of him.

“Your mates are backstage now. Aren’t you going to go congratulate them?”

“No. Jonghyun doesn’t want to talk to me,” Minhyun answered with a regretful look on his face.

Of course, Seongwoo was aware of that. It didn’t really take any sharp observation skills to notice that Minhyun and Jonghyun weren’t interacting as much as usual, and that both of them had tired and forlorn expressions on their faces. The two were clearly brokenhearted and avoiding one another.

Seongwoo just scoffed, and Minhyun turned to look at him with narrowed eyes.

“What was that about?” Minhyun asked.

Ong leaned in closer so that just Minhyun could hear: “you’re clearly hung up over him. Need I remind you that you broke up with him? But now you’re moping around because he won’t talk to you? Why are you letting him get farther away from you if you still have feelings for him? Get your act together and go talk to him and sort out your issues.”

Seongwoo’s words always had such an effect on Minhyun. Always. This here was no exception. Seongwoo was right; there was something awfully wrong about the distance between him and Jonghyun, and there was something especially wrong about the fact they weren’t even talking right now.

But what Seongwoo had to gain from pushing him to this realization, Minhyun wasn’t sure…

Still, Minhyun wanted to make it right, and so he gave a Seongwoo a curt bow of gratitude and went to find his NU’EST members backstage to congratulate them on a stage well done. After that, Minhyun was determined to do something about Jonghyun. Maybe get back together with him. Thinking about it, Minhyun would have liked that very, very much.

He rushed through the backstage waiting rooms to find s, and stopped dead in his tracks when he finally saw JR.

JR didn’t notice him; he was too busy talking with someone else, someone who Minhyun recognized instantly.

Jooeun from DIA, in all her pretty glory.

JR had never been great with girls. Ever. He was awkward and shy, and he could never hold a conversation with any girl for more than a minute, even with the girls at his company who he saw very often. Eyes always lowered and with that stuttering high-pitched voice of his, he had never felt comfortable enough with a girl to become a friend to her.

Somehow, JR was different now as he talked with Jooeun. Minhyun watched from afar as the two of them talked. JR’s head was not lowered and his voice was not high-pitched; he was smiling and casual as the two conversed.

Minhyun felt his heart churn inside his chest as he watched them. This was the kind of relationship that Jonghyun wanted, right? This was the kind of person that Jonghyun should be with.

It hurt a lot, and Minhyun found that he couldn’t even look at them anymore for fear he’ll cry and ruin his eye make-up. He walked back to his seat, slowly, thoughtfully.

It was really over, wasn’t it? JR was growing closer to girls, and Minhyun was… well… being more than friendly with Seongwoo.

He sat back down on the table beside Seongwoo and sighed.

“What happened?” Seongwoo asked with a genuinely concerned expression on his face.

Minhyun appreciated Seongwoo’s concern. He really, really did. Seongwoo, who was in love with him. Seongwoo, who selflessly encouraged him to set things right with JR despite that love. Seongwoo, who only ever wanted Minhyun to be happy. Seongwoo, who had been one of Minhyun’s closest friends in the time he had as Wanna One. Seongwoo was a precious friend and a worthy person for Minhyun to consider more than a friend.

From under the table, Minhyun reached out and held Seongwoo’s hand and squeezed it. “Thank you for caring, Seongwoo. Thank you so much.”

Seongwoo only nodded, subsumed with guilt.

The truth was that Seongwoo had gone backstage earlier to use the bathroom, and he saw JR and that Jooeun girl from DIA talking. Seongwoo also remembered that Minhyun had researched that girl a lot at one point, and he realized that she was someone that JR was potentially interested in. All Seongwoo needed to do was encourage Minhyun to go backstage so that he could witness JR with her. Maybe then, Minhyun would let go of JR and move on.

From the crushed expression on Minhyun’s face, Seongwoo knew that his sheme had succeeded. But Minhyun was hurt, and Seongwoo felt like it wasn’t actually worth it.

A/N: sorry. again… ^^”