The next time Seongwoo came to observe Baekho’s music production sessions, Baekho decided to tell him.

“Minhyun and Jonghyun are back together,” he said. “I thought you should know.”

“Took them long enough,” Seongwoo scoffed, trying to conceal how the news really made him feel (namely jealous, frustrated, angry and resentful).

“Thanks for your help,” Baekho said. “I know you probably still have feelings for him, and it wasn’t easy for you to talk Minhyun into it. I’m very grateful.”

“Well yeah, you should be,” Seongwoo mumbled. “Because it’s hard to know Minhyun’s doing well with someone he really loves, meanwhile I’m on standby mode with Daniel.”

“If you don’t want to be on standby mode, then go find another dude,” Baekho told him. “Daniel doesn’t expect you to wait for him, you know.”

“Yeah? As if it’s that easy. Why don’t you go find me a nice, single gay man to date?”

“I know someone actually. A friend of mine. I could set you up, if you want.”

That intrigued Seongwoo: “Is he hot?”

Baekho took out his phone, scrolled through a bunch of pictures, and stopped at one and showed it to Seongwoo. “That’s him.”

It was a picture of Dongho with some other guy who was probably the candidate in question. Seongwoo didn’t really pay much attention to that guy, because it was Dongho who looked awfully attractive in that picture.

“He really is hot,” Seongwoo noted. “I would love to date him, but I don’t think he’d be interested.”

“What makes you say that?” Baekho said. “I’m sure he’d be thrilled.”

“Well, I can try, but I 100% think he’ll turn me down...”

“Try it. I’ll give you his phone numb–”

“Go out with me,” Seongwoo cut him off.

“What? No, I wasn’t talking about me…”

“Well, I am. Please go out with me,” Seongwoo asked again.

Baekho just laughed and shook his head, seemingly dismissing it as one of Seongwoo’s jokes, which for Seongwoo because this was one of the very few times in which he wasn’t joking.

“Here’s the thing, I’ve had a massive crush on you for a while now,” he confessed just to show Dongho that he was being dead serious right now. “I like you a lot, Dongho, and I just wonder if we can like… try? Come on… I kind of single-handedly saved NU’EST from internal dissolution when I did you a favor and told Minhyun he could go after Jonghyun. Didn’t that soften your heart for me just a little bit?” He joked. If this was going to end in rejection, he hoped that Dongho would at least let him down on a lighthearted note.

“Look, I’m flattered, really, but you already know that it’s not my thing.”

“I get it,” Seongwoo said with a sigh, not wanting to push it anymore. Dongho had made himself all too clear at this point.

Embarrassed by the rejection, Seongwoo decided he didn’t want to stay any longer. He excused himself and left, feeling like such a fool for even thinking there was a chance.

As he left, he ran into Minhyun and Jonghyun. That made him feel even worse. Refusing to even meet Minhyun’s eye, he dashed out.

At this point, he felt like he just wanted to erase all of NU’EST from his life completely. He couldn’t even look at Minhyun, and he didn’t know how he was going to face Baekho anymore now that he humiliated himself in front of him.

Unfortunately, it seemed like his wish would not be granted, because one look at his schedule told him that he had a show recording with Baekho in two days and another in a week. Stupid fangirl shippers and their fantasies and their love of OngBaek that gave the two too many schedules together.

It was at that point that Seongwoo realized it wasn’t just the fangirls who had their fantasies– that he, too, was just as guilty of indulging in his own unrealistic hopes. He was guilty of reading all the fanfiction about him and Dongho and was guilty of being deluded into thinking that maybe Dongho would cave.

He realized that he had totally lost touch with reality when it came to both Minhyun and Dongho. He became uncharacteristically senseless and stupid.

From the very beginning, he had been setting himself up for disappointment with the people he chose to pursue. From Minhyun who was in love with another guy, to Dongho who was as straight as they come. Even Daniel wasn’t an option, because he was so far away.

He wanted to stop hurting himself. He wanted to stop going after silly fantasies of dating and romance. He wanted to go back to being the goal-driven, perceptive person that he was before NU’EST came into his life.

And so it was in the taxi back to his dorm that he came to the decision that he didn’t want to pursue a relationship anymore.

And it was also in the taxi back to his dorm that he received a text message from Dongho saying: “Okay, I’ll go on a date with you. Come over at eight on Wednesday. Dress nice.”

-

Seongwoo did come at eight on Wednesday, but only to make a statement. He had already decided to forget about Dongho, and all he needed was to set that straight with Dongho himself.

He did not dress like this was a date, because it wasn’t. To make that as clear as possible, Seongwoo chose to wear the green sweatpants and orange, oversized T-shirt with blue stripes, the clothes that Dongho bought him on their “first date” or outing or whatever that was.

When Seongwoo rung the doorbell of the NU’EST dorm, it was Minhyun who opened the door, much to Seongwoo’s discomfort. The truth was that Minhyun still made his heart skip a beat, and the fact that Seongwoo looked so damn embarrassing right now didn’t help.

When Minhyun saw him there, he offered a small smile to greet him. It was one of those smiles he offered as a form of courtesy and not because he was actually happy to see him. These days, Minhyun never seemed happy to see him.

Seongwoo had long accepted the fact that his relationship with Minhyun was spoiled forever. They were the typical “exes” who could never really stand to see one another for too long and could never be friends again. Their interactions would never amount to anything more than polite greetings and smiles in one another’s directions.

For Seongwoo, who still loved and cherished Minhyun immensely, it hurt to think that what they had was gone forever because of a love relationship gone bad.

“Is… uhh… Baekho here?” Seongwoo asked.

“Yeah, I think he’s getting ready. Come in,” Minhyun opened the door and beckoned him inside.

Seongwoo did come, and when he did, he realized that he hadn’t been inside the NU’EST dorm since the break-up. He used to come a lot to see Minhyun, even going as far as to spend nights there on the living room sofa. Ever since breaking up, he never had a reason to come inside. The nostalgia of his romance with Minhyun hit him hard and he felt heavy-hearted and sad.

“Seongwoo, there was something I was meaning to ask you actually,” Minhyun began, and Seongwoo looked up toward Minhyun hopefully. He didn’t know what he was expecting Minhyun to say, but just the fact that his Minhyun wanted to tell him something made him feel happy.

“Yeah?”

“Were you the one who… who told Daniel about me and JR?” Minhyun asked, and Seongwoo felt his heart break a little bit. Minhyun really didn’t trust him at all, did he? After everything, Minhyun really thought that Seongwoo would tell Daniel their secrets?

Seongwoo knew the person who actually did the telling; it was Dongho, but Minhyun didn’t seem to suspect that all. Perhaps it would be best, thought Seongwoo, to just take the blame and spare Dongho the confrontation and all the potential fights. It was not like Seongwoo needed to keep Minhyun’s trust anymore anyways.

“Yeah, it was me,” Seongwoo lied. “Sorry…”

Minhyun let out a sigh, the kind of sigh that he let out when he was disappointed. Seongwoo hated hearing that sigh, because he hated the thought of Minhyun being disappointed in him.

“Thank you for your honesty,” Minhyun said. “Did you tell anyone else?”

“I didn’t,” Seongwoo promised. “Just Daniel.”

“Why did you tell him?” Minhyun asked, which stumped Seongwoo.

“I just… felt like it,” he managed.

“It was important to me that you kept it a secret. I didn’t think you were the kind of person to break promises.”

Seongwoo didn’t want to respond, because if he did, he was afraid that he would burst into tears right in front of him. He hated being accused of something he didn’t do, especially by a person who took up such a big part of his heart. Screw you, Minhyun. Why don’t you trust me more?

Seongwoo was very thankful that the following silence between them didn’t drag out for too long, because Dongho came out of his room.

“Oh Seongwoo, you’re here,” he said cheerfully.

Seongwoo turned to look at Dongho and felt his heart stop again. God, why did he have to look so good? Why did he have to dress so nice?

He was in button up white shirt with the first two buttons undone. His sleeves were up just below his elbow, just enough to reveal the tiger tattoo on his forearm. His hair was slicked back and he even smelled of cologne.

“What are you wearing?” Baekho laughed when he saw Seongwoo’s disastrous outfit.

“I…” Seongwoo was at a loss for words, but Baekho kept laughing.

“Come on, let’s go. We’ll stop at store on our way and fix you up,” he said, and suddenly came closer to fix the strands of Seongwoo’s hair.

Minhyun looked between the two curiously. He didn’t quite understand what was going on, but he did know that Baekho was dressed up for a date, and Seongwoo was clearly surprised about that. Not to mention the unnecessary skinship.

Baekho took Seongwoo’s arm and dragged him out of the dorm, Minhyun just watching them. When Baekho and Seongwoo were out of Minhyun’s earshot, Baekho asked: “so… did I do well?”

“What?” Seongwoo asked, still quite dazed and confused.

“Did you see the look on Minhyun’s face?” Baekho laughed. “He was so confused!”

“I’m confused too, you know!” Seongwoo groaned.

“I was doing you a favor, making Minhyun think you’ve moved on. I could tell that talking to him was distressing you. You still have feelings for him, don’t you?”

Seongwoo really didn’t need Baekho to be all nice to him right now. And he most certainly did not want to talk about his stupid feelings for a man that was far out of reach. “Thank you for saving me from that conversation,” Seongwoo muttered. “And I want to make it clear that I don’t want you to go on a date with me. I’m sorry for ever suggesting it; I was stupid for going after a straight guy.”

“So I dressed up all nice for nothing?” Dongho groaned. “Nah man, let this be an actual date, and we can decide where we stand by the end of it.”

“I know you only agreed because you feel sorry for me…”

“Honestly, it was that, plus my own personal desire to have an adventure,” Baekho shrugged. “I like trying new things.”

If there’s one thing that Seongwoo learned while watching Dongho make music is that he was indeed a person that was unafraid of trying new things. He often ventures into unfamiliar musical territory and is open to experimenting with new sounds. It made sense that this experimental outlook could apply in his dating and relationships life…

No, Seongwoo told himself. He wasn’t going to give himself hope and set himself up for disappointment again.

“Please, Baekho. If this is just a game to you, I want to end this right now before it ends in regret and gives me false hope. Let’s just be friends and not risk ruining that. I already ruined everything with Minhyun…” his voice cracked at the mention of Minhyun, much to Seongwoo’s embarrassment. He hated how vulnerable he always appeared to Dongho.

“Fair enough,” Baekho nodded. “This isn’t a date, and our relationship won’t amount to anything,” he stated. “But I’m still dressed to go out and so I want to go out. You can join me if you want, or I can drop you at Fantagio and ask Hello Venus’s Lime to join me inst–”

“I’ll join you,” Seongwoo cut him off.

Now that Baekho had made it very clear where they stood, Seongwoo felt at peace spending time with his friend. To be honest, he did need to get his mind off of Minhyun, and he figured that this non-date with Dongho will help him a lot.

-

They were bound to run into fangirls who recognized them sooner or later, especially since Baekho’s partly exposed tattoo screamed ‘I AM KANG BAEKHO.’ Being out alone together didn’t really help the impression that they were “just friends” like both their companies wanted to maintain, and it appeared like Baekho was visibly uncomfortable with the people following them.

“Let’s get back in the car,” Baekho suggested when he saw a few girls taking photos of them in the place they decided to get down. Seongwoo agreed.

“What’s a place we can go where people won’t recognize us,” Baekho asked as he drove away. “I really don’t want another scandal.”

“If only you dressed better,” Seongwoo scoffed. “Did you really think that no one would recognize you when you have that tiger peeking through your sleeves?”

Baekho sighed and began to unroll his sleeves to cover his tattoo.

“Wait… don’t do that,” Seongwoo stopped him.

“What?” Baekho asked, narrowing his eyes at him. “Why not?”

“Because…” Seongwoo mumbled embarrassedly, “I like it better this way.”

Baekho smiled and nodded his head. He left his sleeves up, just like Seongwoo liked it.

“When did you get the tattoo, by the way?” Seongwoo asked in an attempt to make conversation.

“Late 2013,” Baekho answered. “I have a lot more by the way…”

Seongwoo laughed. It was funny to him that Dongho thought he didn’t know that. “I know,” he said.

“How?”

“Come on Dongho, you must have seen all the fanart of us online…”

Baekho burst out laughing and nodded, “of course. But none of the fanart showed tattoos on you though. Are the fans right about that?”

Seongwoo laughed and said, “they’re actually right. I don’t have any tattoo, but I’s always wanted one.”

“Really? Perfect, then I know where we’re going.”

“What? No. You’re not going to take me to a tattoo parlor,” he said with a scoff.

“I am. Where do you want your tattoo?”

“Dongho, I’m wild, but not that wild.”

“You see, that’s a problem,” Baekho said. “You aren’t wild enough, Seongwoo. You’re kind of like Minhyun, uptight and likes to stick to routines…”

“I am not like Minhyun,” Seongwoo replied, partially offended at the accusation that he is anything like that methodic, boring and uninspired stickler for rules and schedules.

“Prove it. Get a tattoo. Today.”

“My company would kill me.”

“They’ll get over it. Mine did eventually.”

“Still no. I don’t even know what I want!”

“It doesn’t have to be something big. It’s can just be a small icon or something that has a significant meaning to you. Think about it, what is something that means a lot to you? Something that you believe you’ll cherish permanently, no matter how much time passes?”

Seongwoo took a moment to think, and literally, only one thing came to his mind: that methodic, boring and uninspired stickler for rules and schedules. “Minhyun.”

“Come on!” Baekho groaned, clearly not happy with that answer.

“Maybe I can tattoo a fox on my shoulder or something. Or maybe that COMME DES GARCONS heart.”

“Think of something else,” he said with a frown. “We’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“You’re really going to make me do this?” Seongwoo asked with narrowed eyes.

“Yes,” Baekho said.

Seongwoo smiled. For some reason, he felt strangely gratified as Baekho drove his car. Baekho was pushing all of his boundaries with that whimsical spontaneity that Minhyun had lacked.

Stop falling so hard for Kang Dongho, he had to remind himself. He’s off limits.

In the ten minutes before Baekho parked his car at a tattoo parlor, Seongwoo really did try to think of something, a tattoo that he wanted that would have special significance to him in the long-run, but nothing came to mind. Literally, the only thing on his mind that he thought he loved enough to tattoo on his body was Minhyun.

“So, did you think of something?” Baekho asked after parking.

“Honestly, no. I need more time,” Seongwoo said, feeling bad for ruining the spontaneity of it all and proving Baekho right that he was indeed a boring person.

Dongho looked like he expected that. “I think I have an idea about what you can put–”

“Great, I want that,” Seongwoo said quickly. “Tattoo whatever it is on my back.”

“Don’t you want to hear the idea first?” Baekho asked with an amused laugh.

“Nope. Surprise me,” Seongwoo told him with a flirty wink that made Baekho laugh again.

“You’re giving me the power to permanently mark your body with whatever I want? Are you sure?” Baekho asked, smiling mischievously.

The look on his face made Seongwoo a little nervous, honestly, but he gulped it in. “Yes,” Seongwoo replied to Dongho, trying to appear confident. “Are you impressed by my bold spontaneity?”

“Honestly? I am,” Baekho replied, smiling.

That made Seongwoo stupidly happy, because he knew he was only going through with this because he wanted to prove to Dongho that he wasn’t boring. That he could be wild and spontaneous too. That he wasn’t like Minhyun.

And it worked, because Baekho was truly pleasantly surprised.

Baekho didn’t expect that Seongwoo would agree to get a tattoo in the first place let alone let someone else decide his tattoo for him. It was daring and adventurous, and Baekho really liked that. Maybe Seongwoo was more fun than Baekho thought after all. Maybe he wasn’t like Minhyun.

-

The experience was a bit strange for Seongwoo. For one, he hated exposing his body in front of people he didn’t know very well, and suddenly he was shirtless in front of the tattoo artist and Dongho. It was just weird.

Seongwoo had to sit down with his back bent forward, his front side leaning against the back of a chair as both Dongho and the artist hovered above him. He felt Dongho’s fingers ghost over his bare skin to indicate to the artist where he wanted the tattoo, and Seongwoo felt a little too excited about that touch. It was silly, really. He was going to tattoo his body permanently and all he could think about was Dongho’s fingers on his back.

Dongho’s finger only lasted a second through, as they were soon replaced with the tattoo artist’s hand who did the artwork quickly and quietly.

The tattoo only took about 20 minutes, and was a lot less painful than Seongwoo expected. It was only after it was done that he became nervous about what it actually was.

What if he didn’t like it? It was stuck on his body for life.

“I personally think it looks good,” Baekho commented, his eyes poring holes into his back. He then let a finger over Seongwoo’s back again, “It says ‘I love Baekho,’” he voiced, his finger the small area on his back as if he were pointing at words that the tattoo had spelled.

“I’d literally kill you if that were true,” Seongwoo stood up, nudging Baekho’s finger off his back and rubbing the soar skin.

“Oh no, I better hide then,” Baekho joked as Seongwoo anxiously trudged toward the mirror to see what it was.

When he did, he froze.

It was an hourglass.

Baekho watched Seongwoo’s expression carefully as he examined the tattoo for the first time. Seongwoo looked surprised but that expression slowly faded into one of gratification and pride. He smiled and admired it for a good minute and said: “I love it.”

The image resonated with Seongwoo in ways that probably no other symbol would have. “Hourglass” was the title of the song he had promoted with Daehwi while he was still a member of Wanna One. It was a project that he was very proud of, and a song with lyrics that meant a lot to him. The hourglass was a symbol of time running out, and it reminded him of the importance of living in the moment and enjoying the now while he can, because nothing lasted forever.

And it was perfect. In every way.

How Dongho was able to think of this baffled Seongwoo. How did Dongho know how much the song meant to him? How did Dongho know that he needed to be reminded of its message now more than ever before?

Since the breakup with Minhyun, Seongwoo had been dwelling on the past too much. He’d been reading their past text messages, looking at their pictures and videos together, and never moving on. It had been way too long since he had done something fun and interesting, too long since he had lived in the moment.

“I’m relieved you like it,” Baekho said, letting out a small sigh of relief. “I was afraid you’d think I messed up your body or something...”

Seongwoo admired the tattoo, and the more he looked at it and reveled in how absolutely perfect it was, the harder he fell for the person who made it possible for him. The person who gave him the tattoo and the person who made him live the spontaneity that it promotes.

“I hate this,” Seongwoo mumbled.

“What? I thought you loved it?” Dongho replied, suddenly looking nervous.

“I do,” Seongwoo muttered. “But I hate what it’s making me feel. I don’t want to fall for you, but you’re making it very difficult, and I hate it.”

He didn’t know why he had to say it out loud and make things weird, but he did, and things got weird. Dongho just laughed it off awkwardly and left Seongwoo alone in the room to look at the tattoo, which Seongwoo couldn’t stop looking at anyway. When Seongwoo was done, he put on his oversized orange shirt and left the room, only to see Dongho paying at the cashier.

“What are you doing?” Seongwoo asked as Dongho put in his card’s pin number.

“Consider it a gift,” Baekho said as the payment was being processed.

This was totally something a boyfriend would do, Seongwoo thought and felt regretful. This was probably the best gift he had ever received on the best “date” he had ever been on in his entire life, and it was not even a date. Seongwoo vowed to never go on another one of these stupid “non-dates” with Dongho ever again. It was not good for his heart and only set him up for disappointment.

As Dongho went into the driver’s seat, Seongwoo debated with himself about whether he should ride with him again or take a taxi back home. He really wanted to cut this short before things got even more awkward. Or worse: before Seongwoo fell for him even more.

In the end, he begrudgingly decided to get in the passenger seat, because he wanted to properly express his gratitude before leaving. Just leaving seemed a bit ungrateful given everything that Baekho had done.

“Thank you so much for this,” Seongwoo told Dongho when they were in the car. “Really, truly, sincerely, actually, thank you,” Seongwoo said in a partly joking voice just to lighten the sudden tension that lingered between them since Seongwoo’s outburst. “But I think it’s best for me… for both of us…. if we separate now. I would appreciate if you could drop me off at my dorm. Hello Venus is like right next door. You can go eat with Lime or something.”

Dongho looked pensive. It appeared like he had a lot on his mind and didn’t quite process what Seongwoo had told him. He looked toward Seongwoo and said: “I feel a bit… inspired now. You did something new in the spur of the moment and ended up liking it. I think it’s my turn to do something like that too.”

And suddenly, without any warning, Baekho lunged forward from his seat and closed the distance between their lips.

For a moment, Seongwoo froze, and his brain did that thing where he tried to rationalize what was happening. Dongho probably had something to drink when his tattoo was being drawn, Seongwoo thought. This was nothing but an aftereffect of that, right?

But then another part of his brain yelled at him to just kiss him back, and Seongwoo listened to that voice instantly. Whether Dongho was under the influence of something or not, he was kissing him, and Seongwoo wanted that kiss to last.

Seongwoo brought his hand to the back of Dongho’s neck, bringing him closer and closer and deepening the kiss before Dongho had any chance to change his mind. Dongho accepted it from Seongwoo without holding back at all.

Seconds later, a few pedestrians walked by, causing both of them to abruptly pull back and sit upright in their chairs, both breathless and desperately wanting to kiss again.

When the pedestrians were out of sight, Seongwoo cleared his throat and Baekho took a deep breath, avoiding Seongwoo’s eyes.

“Drive,” Seongwoo managed to say. “And if you want to stop somewhere where no one can see us, I wouldn’t mind.”

Dongho smiled shyly and nodded his head, turning on the car and shifting the gear.

-

Baekho didn’t quite understand why he was making out with his best friend’s ex in the backseat of his car, but he knew that he liked it.

It had been way too long since he kissed anyone like this. The last time was probably over two years ago when NU’EST was struggling and Baekho tried to distract himself from his fragile career by dates that were rarely ever fulfilling,

Since Produce 101 and NU’EST’s reversal, however, Baekho had not had much time for girls or dating. Focused on making music and advancing his accelerating career, he had long missed how it felt to have someone’s lips against his own, their breaths mingling and the heat between their bodies growing. It was definitely satisfying, something that Baekho didn’t know he needed right now. The fact it was a guy against his lips didn’t matter at all.

It was only when things got too hot that Baekho felt that maybe this spontaneous adventure was way too wild, and that he had to restrain himself a little bit.

“I think we should stop now,” Baekho managed, parting from Seongwoo and making space between them. “This is…”

“A mistake?” Seongwoo speculated, the words coming through his heavy breaths.

“No,” Baekho said. “This is… too fast.”

“And I’m confused,” Seongwoo uttered. “Aren’t you… straight?”

“Not as straight as I thought, clearly,” Baekho said, and Seongwoo could have sworn he saw Baekho look at his lips even under the dim lamplight of the empty parking lot they were in.

“What does that even mean?” Seongwoo asked.

“Look… I…. I don’t know, Seongwoo,” Baekho managed to say.

“I don’t want to be another experiment. Please don’t give me hope if there is none. Just tell me to forget this ever happened, and I will, but don’t drag me into something that’s going to end like Minhyun did.”

Baekho was silent for a while, and in that silence, Seongwoo realized that the making out was just a “spur of the moment,” and there was no hope.

“I would suggest friends with benefits,” Seongwoo added to fill the silence, “but I think I like you too much for that to work.”

“And of course I don’t want that either,” Baekho said. “Plus I’m not the kind of guy who says sentimental things, so if you want me to tell you that I actually really like you, I won’t, even if I actually do. But I will say this: I care about my friends and would never do anything they would not approve. And this between us… it’s complicated. You’re still Minhyun’s ex and the person that Daniel has feelings for. I probably broke every rule in the book by kissing you right now.”

Seongwoo caught on to that peculiar confession, and smiled a bit. He was thankful it was dark and Baekho couldn’t see him blush.

“So what now?” Seongwoo asked.

Baekho sighed and said: “from my side, I would need a day or two to figure that out. How long would it take you?”

“Why are you even asking that? You already know I like you.”

“Yes but you’re also in love with one of my members. That’s pretty serious if you ask me, so it looks like you also have a few things to figure out as well.”

“So what? No matter what I feel, it’s long over between me and that person.”

“Need I remind you that Minhyun was also in love with JR when he started stuff with you? I don’t want to be your rebound guy, and you need to think about whether or not I will be.”

Seongwoo realized that Baekho was surprisingly wise. He had a sense for people that you wouldn’t really expect someone like that to have.

During Produce 101, Seongwoo had been startled at the amount of love the trainees had for Dongho. He wasn’t the most likeable person on the show: he was gruff, blunt, and not really very sociable. Still, anyone who ever ended up on his team somehow warmed up to him, and now Seongwoo was starting to understand why: Dongho just got people and understood what was going on in their minds and hearts and acted with them accordingly.

Seongwoo’s mind and heart were still b with Minhyun, and Dongho was right to say that he needed to re-evaluate a lot of things before going into anything.

It was a silent drive back to Seongwoo’s dorm. It was too awkward to say anything after all the kissing they did in the back seat. Plus, both of them had a lot to think about.

Baekho was thinking about how he was going to break it to Minhyun, and Seongwoo was thinking about whether he was actually ready to move on.

When they finally arrived at Seongwoo’s dorm, he took off his seatbelt, and contemplated what he should say to Baekho.

“Look,” he began, “whatever you decide, whatever both of us decide, whatever happens…. it wouldn’t change the fact that I had the greatest time tonight, and I am truly, really, very grateful to you for everything. So... yeah. Just… thank you.” Reluctantly he leaned forward to kiss his date’s cheek. He hurried out of the car embarrassedly before he could see Baekho’s reaction to it.

Seongwoo hoped that Baekho blushed.

If he had looked back, he would have seen that Baekho did.

-

“Can I date Seongwoo?”

Daniel narrowed his eyes at the message from Baekho. He had to double-check the name just to make sure he read it right. There was no mistake; Kang Dongho was asking him if he could date Seongwoo… ?

“Is this a joke?” Daniel asked.

“It’s not.”

“Dude…”

“Dude what?”

“Seriously???”

“Yes.”

“I NEED CONTEXT. YOU CAN’T JUST ASK ME THAT QUESTION WITHOUT CONTEXT.”

“Fine. Context is that he asked me on a date and I said yes because I felt sorry for him but then I actually had fun and we ended up making out in the backseat and now I just want to know if it’s ethical to continue to date him and I feel like I need your okay.”

That took Daniel off guard. He took a moment to read and reread that message, which exuded of Baekho’s typical blunt, bitter honesty that Daniel appreciated but now felt cornered by.

“So... ?” Baekho texted when Daniel took more than a minute to reply.

Daniel didn’t know what to feel. He knew that Seongwoo was having feelings for a straight guy, but he had failed to consider that Baekho was that straight guy. It felt… weird.

Baekho continued: “Look, I know you’re shocked. Trust me, I’m having trouble wrapping my head around it too. Right now, I’m a little bit confused, so if you tell me that you’re madly in love with him and that you’ll be upset if I date him, I probably won’t go for it.”

“How can I say that? Go ahead. If you like each other, you should. Who am I to stop you?” Daniel managed to type, only because it felt like the right thing to say. Whether his feelings aligned with “the right thing to say” was actually kind of difficult to gauge at this point, because he was still trying to process.

And Daniel tried to process. As he walked through his university campus and imagined his two friends in that kind of relationship, he felt so disconnected from the world he left behind. The world of celebrity; the world that had Seongwoo and Baekho and all of his friends from whom he’d been growing quite distant.

Memories of Seongwoo made him feel fondness beyond compare, but Seongwoo was now far away and had other passions to pursue, passions that existed within his own world. And it was unfair for Daniel to hope that he didn’t.

Daniel was the one who chose to leave that world, and with that, he had perhaps lost his chance to actually embrace something that now was presenting itself to Baekho.

It almost felt unfair: for years, Daniel had suffered with his feelings for Seongwoo, longing for something more between them that never amounted to anything. On the contrary, those passions drove a wedge between him and the person he loved. Meanwhile, Baekho, on a spontaneous date, was able to get something that Daniel had been craving for so long.

He had to let it go. Even though it made his insides churn and his heart feel like it was combusting, he needed to focus on the present. That present included making it to his Macro-Economics lecture on time. And studying for that mid-term he had tomorrow. And getting his friend Juan a birthday gift.

He had no time to worry about what his friends in Korea were doing.

With a heavy heart, he resolved to accept whatever happens. Even if it meant that he lost something very precious, it was a price that he had to pay for the simple life he was now living, a life which he found so much more fulfilling.

-

Now that Daniel had given his approval, Baekho now had to confront the real deal.

He didn’t know how exactly he was going to do that. He felt embarrassed just telling Minhyun that he kind of liked his ex-boyfriend and wanted his permission to ask him out, but he knew he had to do it. He couldn’t make the next move with Seongwoo without Minhyun’s approval first.

He didn’t know what to expect from Minhyun at all. He could see it going both ways: Minhyun could be supportive and encouraging, and he could also be disappointed. After all, wasn’t it like an unspoken rule between friends that they shouldn’t fraternize with the exes?

“Put away your phone and give me your full, undivided attention,” Baekho said to Minhyun.

Minhyun put his phone to the side and turned to Baekho curiously.

“What would you say if, hypothetically, I wanted to date your ex-boyfriend?” Baekho asked. He realized in that moment that he was hoping for a particular answer from Minhyun; he actually very badly wanted Minhyun to approve.

Minhyun narrowed his eyes. He was only slightly surprised, but he understood what was going on. “He charmed you, didn’t he?”

Baekho scoffed. He wasn’t going to admit that to Minhyun. (But yes, you could put it that way…)

“I’ve been charmed by him before,” Minhyun replied, surprisingly unfazed by the entire situation, which Baekho thought was a good sign. “But…”

Oh no.

And so, Hwang Minhyun went into a full-fledged report assessing Ong Seongwoo as a romantic partner. From all the good things to all the flaws, Minhyun left no stone unturned. To be honest, Baekho wasn’t interested in this: he didn’t want to know that Seongwoo preferred a different toilet paper orientation or that he didn’t take his vitamins or that he had way too much body hair. He just wanted Minhyun to say “okay, sure. Go ahead!” but no… Count on Minhyun to talk way too much.

One thing that Minhyun said was that Seongwoo was “mostly trustworthy, but if you separate, he could betray your trust. When we broke up, Seongwoo told Daniel about my relationship with Jonghyun and…”

“Wait… what? No he didn’t. I did!”

“What? You told Daniel?” Minhyun asked, confused.

“Yes! A long time ago…”

Minhyun narrowed his eyes. “But Seongwoo confessed himself…”

And so Baekho came clean himself, telling Minhyun about how Daniel came to find out from their many gym sessions together. This was, of course, proceeded by a lot of scolding on Minhyun’s part, which for once, Baekho thought was well-deserved. Not only did he kind of spill a secret he wasn’t supposed to spill, but he also implicated Seongwoo into this mess.

-

Seongwoo received a phone call from Dongho that night, which made him a little anxious yet happy.

Since their date, Dongho was all that Seongwoo could think about it. Every time he remembers their first kiss and the way they both took to the backseat to indulge in one another, he was reduced to a pile of mush and giggles. Dongho had really made him into a love-struck teenage girl, didn’t he?

He picked up the phone almost immediately, anxious about what Dongho would tell him, but also looking forward to hearing his voice.

“Ya! Why did you lie to Minhyun?”

“What???”

“According to him, YOU told Daniel about him and Jonghyun???”

“Oh… right. That.”

“What the hell was that about?”

“I wanted to spare you the confrontation, so I took the blame. Plus, I don’t need to keep Minhyun’s trust, but you do… so I thought it would be better if he thought I did it.”

“Stupid,” Baekho mumbled. “Anyways, I told him the truth, and he wants to apologize to you and say that he feels so bad for accusing you. Says he’ll call you later to apologize, and wants to make sure you’ll pick up.”

“Sure, I’ll pick up,” Seongwoo said.

“I’ll tell him that. And one more thing… I made my decision.”

Seongwoo felt his nerves rage and his body stiffen.

“Both Daniel and Minhyun gave me the green light, so there’s nothing holding me back. I’m ready if you are,” Baekho said.

Seongwoo froze. Baekho seemed to be waiting for a reply, but Seongwoo was tongue-tied.

“Anyways, we have a recording together tomorrow. We’ll talk more then, I guess. Bye.” And he hung up.

Seongwoo put his phone down, eyes still wide with disbelief. Was this actually happening? It felt too good to be true.

His head was in the clouds, and he only snapped out of it for a second when his phone rang again, and this time, it was Minhyun calling him to apologize.

And for the first time, Seongwoo’s heart didn’t skip a beat seeing Minhyun’s name as caller ID. For the first time, Seongwoo felt completely and utterly detached from his former lover’s voice. For the first time, Minhyun triggered absolutely nothing in him, thoughts of him drowned out by his how enchanted he felt by Kang Dongho.

Dongho had come to his decision, and now, so did Seongwoo.

A/N: ok its over now. Thank you all for reading this far!

Honestly, this story was kind of a pain to write lol. Idk how it was to read, but for me, at one point, I was just trying really hard to squeeze the ideas from my head and it just felt dragged out and all-round frustrating. But I finished it, so yayy

Anyways, I might delete it later because I’m not that proud of it. But I am still proud that I pulled through and managed to finish it!

Thank you for bearing with me all these angsty and drawn-out chapters!

I might write another nu’est fic, 2hyun or otherwise, but for now im just gonna take a break and spend time reading other fanfics to help improve my own writing~

Anyways, BYE for now! And thank you again for reading this far ^^