I’m sorry, Minhyun texted Jonghyun that night from his own phone (the manager finally caved and let him have it for the night).

Jonghyun saw it but didn’t reply.

I was wrong to tell Seongwoo about our personal confrontations without asking you first. I’m really sorry. This is my fault.

The truth was that Minhyun felt lousy because he snapped at JR for no reason and made him blame himself, as JR often did whenever anything bad happened.

JR replied shortly after with: no, I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have trusted you

Minhyun groaned when he saw that message: stop it. This is 100% my fault; don’t you dare take the blame.

JR replied: I understand that it’s important for you to have someone to talk to about these things in your new group. I’m glad you have Seongwoo. You can tell him anything you want, okay?

Minhyun was always surprised at how JR was easily able to put himself in Minhyun’s shoes and understand his point of view so clearly. It’s one of the things that had made him such a good leader; he understood why people acted the way that they did and was able to identify what they’re feeling and feel empathy for them. Although Minhyun was the one at fault in this falling out between them, JR always had a way of making people feel validated for the wrong things that they’ve done. He never guilted people; he would much rather guilt himself.

Thank you, Minhyun typed.

Okay, maybe not tell him ANYTHING. Please don’t tell him about the mole on my . Or about my manga collection! JR joked, lightening the mood immediately.

Minhyun smiled and sent him a laughing face emoji. Okay, I’ll just tell him about the interesting maid café you visited in Japan- the one that made you feel so guilty, you cried because you thought it meant you cheated on me :P

JR replied with a load of nervous emojis.

In all honesty though, Minhyun said, I’ll be more considerate of your feelings when I talk to him. I promise.

Thank you, JR replied. And Minhyun, next time we have time with one another, we can get a hotel room or something. We can try doing stuff again if that’s what you want.

We can talk about it later. It’s not important now.

Okay. But we have to talk about it!

We will. But I won’t see you in a long time. Wanna One’s schedule is crazy L

Fighting! You can do it!

I love you, Jonghyunnie. I don’t ever want to upset you again.

I know <3

And with that, JR and Minhyun had made up almost immediately after their supposed fight. It was always like this when they argued; it never lasted long, and both would sooner admit being at fault over losing anything of what they had together.

-

Seongwoo didn’t push Minhyun to talk about what happened in that supply closet, but based on his observations, Seongwoo got the general gist. Minhyun began to do something, Jonghyun didn’t like it, they began to talk and had an argument. And judging by how much more secretive Minhyun became since that supply closet encounter, Seongwoo had a sneaking feeling that he himself had something to do with the argument.

It made sense. Minhyun might have admitted that Seongwoo knew about their relationship, and Jonghyun might have been upset because he didn’t want anyone to know. Jonghyun was a lot more private than Minhyun was, and this was an attribute through which the two of them would certainly clash.

And so when Minhyun did finally decided to open up to Ong about what happened, Seongwoo was not surprised at all.

“I guessed it all before you told me,” Seongwoo snorted after Minhyun explained what happened.

“Really?”

“Yes. I’m a lot more observant than you give me credit for.”

Minhyun smiled at that. “You really are amazing, Seongwoo.”

At the same time that Minhyun and Seongwoo were having this conversation, many miles away, Baekho was getting a call from his mother. After hearing what she had to say, he dropped the phone and felt the entire world collapse around him.

-

Minhyun didn’t know until more than 24 hours later. He didn’t have his phone on him all day as Wanna One was so busy with schedules. The manager had found out from articles, but made an active effort to stop Minhyun from knowing for as long as possible. Minhyun needed to get through his schedules with a happy face and a stable voice. There was a lot to do, and news like those about Baekho’s father would only distress Minhyun for no reason.

Guanlin had heard the news from one of the staff members, and so it was him who relayed the information to Minhyun. Had it not been for Guanlin, Minhyun would have remained oblivious.

Minhyun’s first reaction was shock, then denial, and then overwhelming sorrow that took over his every limb.

Death. It was funny how people forget the prospect of death and get lost in the reverie of their own life. In the past months, Minhyun had only been concerned about his friends and his career, but all those concerns pale in the face of what had happened to Baekho’s father.

Minhyun wanted to call Baekho to check up on him, but the guy didn’t have his phone on him since the scandal. He tried calling Jonghyun, Minki, Aron, Bumzu and even Mrs. Kang, but all of them wouldn’t answer. It was only Pledis CEO that answered in the end.

The CEO told him that everyone was in Jeju and preparing for the funeral already, and no one would have their phones on them. Minhyun felt so much guilt in his heart that he found out so late, and would not even be able to make it to support one of his best friends through the hardest thing that Baekho had probably ever had to endure.

-

Where was Minhyun? Ren thought. Why didn’t Minhyun call? Why didn’t Minhyun say anything? Why didn’t he even try to come to the funeral?

Not contacting them after that scandal was forgivable, but not contacting them after this… Ren just didn’t understand what excuse Minhyun possibly had to give.  Ren was mad.

It was more than a day after the announcement that Ren saw Minhyun’s missed call, but at that point Ren was too mad and upset to call him back.

Ren could see that JR was also at breaking point. JR had always been sensitive regarding anything that had to do with NU’EST. Seeing Baekho fall apart right in front of him could not have been easy on their leader’s gentle heart. Ren knew that JR was probably suffering on the inside just like Baekho was, and Ren really wanted to help. Usually, it was Minhyun who heard JR out in these moments, but Minhyun was not there anymore. On the contrary, it felt like Minhyun was part of the reason everything was so horrible.

Baekho was grieving on his own, in need of comfort. Minhyun was the one who understood Baekho the best, but he wasn’t there for him. JR was stressing on his own, also in dire need of emotional support, but Minhyun was also not there for him. And Ren felt so mad, because now, he felt like he had to try and fill the gap that Minhyun left, to help console both Baekho and JR.

Ren didn’t know what to say to help Baekho through this. He couldn’t even open his mouth when he faced Baekho’s shocked and sorrow-filled face that day in the funeral. Minhyun would have known what to say though. Minhyun would have been able to use his saccharine words to make even the most traumatizing experience more bearable.

“Minhyun called me,” Ren announced in their hotel room at Jeju.

“Yeah, he called me too,” JR replied. “I tried calling him back, but I got no answer.”

“Oh, bet he’s too busy with his newfound fame,” Ren replied more bitterly than he would have liked.

“Come on, you can’t possibly be mad at him for not showing up, right?” JR replied calmly.

“You’re not?” Ren asked.

“No. Minhyun’s busy. His schedule is packed to the brim, and it’s only the second week of Wanna One. He has a new company who probably won’t allow him to visit his friend’s father’s funeral even if he begged to, and Minhyun wouldn’t complain. We shouldn’t put so much expectations on him.”

“Expectations? Jonghyun, this is Baekho’s father’s funeral. A time of bereavement for his best friend. Is it too much to expect that he shows up? Or at least make a proper effort to contact Baekho,” Ren grunted.

JR sighed. He hated when a member was holding a grudge against another member. And the worst part about it was that JR, as much as he tried not to, agreed with that grudge.

You’re supposed to be here, Minhyun, JR thought. Why does it feel like you’re slipping away?

-

Minhyun fell into a slump, which was unusual. Seongwoo had never seen the ever-so-positive Minhyun in a “slump” before, even at the beginning of Produce when his group was hanging on a thread, and a minor scandal erupted about his so-called “bike theft.”

Minhyun was in mourning, guilt-ridden, and worried all at the same time, all the while being forced by YMC to still attend schedules and smile for the camera. Seongwoo simply couldn’t relate to what he was going through, but he wanted to be supportive.

He honestly did not intend to take advantage of the situation. He just wanted to be there for his friend, and so he curled up next to Minhyun as the rest of the members were finding a space to sleep in the waiting room of their next CF venue.

Minhyun immediately began to cry when Seongwoo nestled beside him.

“Gosh, this is so embarrassing,” Minhyun whispered as he wiped his eyes with back of his hand.

“Don’t,” Seongwoo said. “It’s okay to cry.”

“I don’t want the younger ones to see me like this,” Minhyun told Seongwoo hiding his face from the others, turning it towards the corner.

“Come on then,” Seongwoo took Minhyun’s arm and pulled him up. “Let’s find a place where you can comfortably cry in peace.”

Minhyun followed Seongwoo, who just took him outside of the waiting room, pulling him into the entrance of an emergency staircase. They sat down on the stairs and Minhyun continued to cry.

“If you want, I can also call Seonho to comfort you,” Seongwoo offered, half-jokingly.

“Oh please don’t do that,” Minhyun replied, laughing at the memory of the clingy little chick.

Seongwoo smiled, proud that he was able to make Minhyun laugh in that state. He was also happy that Minhyun was freely crying in front of him, no inhibition or embarrassment. Ong knew that Minhyun was the kind of person who preferred to be alone when he cried, and so the fact that Ong seemed to be a general exception to the rule made him happy.

“Seriously, Minhyunnie. If you want to talk, I’m all ears,” Seongwoo told him, taking his hand.

“Thank you,” Minhyun said with a sniffle. “That means a lot.”

Minhyun was silent after that, which told Seongwoo that he didn’t want to talk. He just sat back on the staircase and stared at the wall for a long time. He stopped crying eventually, leaving him with only with his glistening eyes and his blank expression.

Although Minhyun was silent, there was actually a lot he wanted to say, a lot he wanted to express. Usually, when Minhyun was feeling like this, he would sit with JR and vent out all of his frustrations in one sitting. JR would listen for as long as it took, and would then offer level-headed solutions to the problems that had been unsolvable in Minhyun’s head. Being with JR always helped him cool down when he felt like he wanted to explode, always helped him maintain that calm, cool and collected image that most people associated with him. Now, however, JR wasn’t there to hear him out, especially now when so many things seemed to be going wrong.

Now, he had Seongwoo.

Minhyun eventually turned to his friend, and began to express his heart: “it feels like everything is changing too quickly,” Minhyun said, speaking to Seongwoo as if he were Jonghyun. “I feel like everything is moving too fast, and I can’t keep up. From making it into Wanna One, to NU’EST’s chart reversal, to Baekho’s scandal, to the fight with Jonghyun, and now Baekho’s father passing away. All of these things are changing what I’m used to. Who knows if Baekho will ever be the same after this? Who knows if me and Jonghyun will ever be the same? Will NU’EST ever be the same now that I’ve been separated from them for so long? It’s only been a few weeks, and already there’s a change. I can’t imagine how it’s going to be after more than a year. It’s just really hard, Seongwoo,” Minhyun expressed another tear falling from his eyes that he quickly wiped away.

Ong listened carefully to Minhyun’s words, and quickly worked the gears of his mind to come up with a response that would palliate Minhyun’s fears and his worries.

“It might seem like Dongho will never recover from this, but everyone recovers with time. And yes, it might seem like you’re growing apart from them, but on the flip side, you’re growing closer to me, and to the rest of your Wanna One members. Things seem like they’re going to now, but it will all even out in the end. Minhyun, you are a very methodical and organized person. You like having things under control, but you have to realize that not everything can be controlled. Things are going to happen to you, and you just have to sit back and take them. I understand that it’s frustrating to be unable to regulate your destiny, but the more you expect to, the unhappier you’ll be.”

Minhyun nodded and turned to Seongwoo with a smile on his face. His eyes were still glistening with potential tears, and his nose was still a light shade of pink, but he looked generally happier than before. “Thank you, Seongwoo. That really helped.”

“Good,” Seongwoo said putting an arm around Minhyun’s shoulder and nestling against it.

“I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you,” Minhyun said, putting a grateful hand on Seongwoo’s knee.

-

The manager asked Jisung to collect his sleeping members. It was time to start recording. Of all the tasks he had to do a leader, the task Jisung hated most of all was waking up his sleeping members.

The poor boys were exhausted, and it literally pained him to break their peaceful respite and tell them they had to go work again.

Jisung always woke s up oldest to youngest, just so that the youngsters could get in that extra minute or so of rest. After nudging Sungwoon up, Jisung looked around to find Minhyun and Ong.

They weren’t in the waiting room, and so Jisung searched in the bathroom and the halls and didn’t find them. As he was making his way back to the waiting room, he saw that the door to the emergency staircase was slightly open. Quietly, he opened it, and found the two of them cuddled up in one another’s arms, asleep on the stairs.

Jisung took a long, hard look at them. Ong was nuzzled in Minhyun’s chest, and Minhyun’s nose was buried in Seongwoo’s bushy hair, his arms around him protectively. It was cute, Jisung thought, but he was more concerned about the sight then he was charmed by it.

Jisung kind of guessed that both Seongwoo and Minhyun were not very interested in women. Neither of them ever looked at women or even talked about girls the way the other members did. Jisung had a sneaking suspicion that the two were, well, gay.

That suspicion grew as he began to notice how the two were naturally drawn to one another. They often spoke to one another privately, and the two obviously kept secrets from the rest of the members.

Jisung didn’t know if they were together per se, but he wouldn’t be surprised if they were. As a leader, he didn’t know what he should do about this. Should he confront them about it? Should he let them be? Having a couple in the group could never be good, especially in a group as heavily surveilled as Wanna One.

Jisung sighed. He decided that he wouldn’t interfere. Minhyun and Ong were both careful and smart; if they were actually a couple, they wouldn’t do anything stupid enough to compromise the group.

If the two became more obvious, Jisung resolved that he would have a small talk with them about it.