“Where are you going?” Minhyun asked when he saw Baekho putting on his coat.

“To hang out with a friend,” Baekho replied.

Minhyun eyed Baekho curiously. “With Seongwoo, by any chance?”

“Yeah,” Baekho answered with a shrug.

Minhyun was still in quite a bit of shock about the whole thing. He still hadn’t even gotten quite used to the fact that the two were even friends for him to even to even think about Seongwoo liking Baekho. It was weird to even consider.

When Seongwoo had told him about his new fondness for Baekho, Minhyun hadn’t really believed that Seongwoo was serious. He thought that maybe Seongwoo just wanted to make Minhyun believe that he had moved on from him.

But Baekho was actually going to hang out with Seongwoo today. Sure, it didn’t look like it was a ‘date’ per se (at least not according to Baekho, who was dressing up the same he dressed when hanging out with any of his friends). But Seongwoo had different intentions though…

Shortly after, someone knocked on the door, and Baekho went to open it. Curious, Minhyun also drew closer to the door to see. Seongwoo was there, all dressed up and happy, like he would be when he and Minhyun had gone on dates before they broke up.

When Baekho left with him, Minhyun watched them from the window. It did not bother him or anything; on the contrary, Minhyun like seeing them get along so well, and he actually felt very happy to see Seongwoo… happy. That was more than what Minhyun could say for himself since the break-up.

“Did Baekho leave?” came JR’s voice, knocking Minhyun out of his daze.

“Yeah,” Minhyun answered, turning from the window to talk to him. Like the hermit that he was, JR had just come out of his room to get a snack from the kitchen. His iPad with his paused anime was still in his hand, an his headphones were around his neck.

They were the only two in the dorm right now. As they had the day off, Ren was spending time with his family and Aron was at a party with his friends. Minhyun remembered how often they ended up alone way back before their fortune changed with Produce 101; as they were the only two who didn’t like going out, it was often the case that they spent such nights together at home.

Minhyun remembered how they would spend those times together: ordering take-out and watching a movie and playing video games in the living room. Such nights had often ended with them falling asleep in one another’s arms on the sofa, and Minki coming back from wherever he was and waking them up by yelling at them to keep their romantic skinship out of the living room.

Minhyun smiled as the memories flooded him. He missed those days. Although they were now richer, more popular, and had hope in a sustained idol career ahead of them, Minhyun still wished he could go back to the time when things were so much simpler. Before Produce 101, before Wanna One, before they broke out as idols, and before they grew apart.

“Jonghyunnie,” Minhyun called out softly to the leader, who was still standing in front of the empty fridge for food.

“Yes?” JR asked as he closed the fridge.

“Want to watch a movie and order take-out?” he offered hopefully.

JR smiled, and that smile made Minhyun’s heart skip a beat. They both knew this was an attempt at going back to a long-lost past, and JR seemed more than willing to comply.

-

Neither Baekho nor Seongwoo really expected to enjoy this one-to-one man “date” (although Baekho absolutely refused to refer to it as such). But much to both their surprise, it was quite fun. The food was good, and they ran into almost no paparazzi.

There was nothing particularly date-y about it, except for the fact that Seongwoo had dressed up like it was. That made Baekho just a little uncomfortable, and so he made him stop at a random shop to switch clothes.

“Come on. You’re overreacting!!” Seongwoo groaned as Baekho pushed him into the changing room.

“Nah man. You’re not going around all dressed up like this is a date, when it’s strictly just two friends hanging out.”

“You made that very clear. I’m just a guy that enjoys fashion,” Seongwoo chimed as Baekho threw him a random pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt to wear. “And this is fashion terrorism,” Seongwoo hummed as he peered at the clothing that Baekho had picked out for him. The sweatpants were an ugly shade of green, and the T-shirt was oversized, orange, and had blue stripes. It was awful to even look at.

“Just get your in there and wear them,” Baekho nudged him, and Seongwoo reluctantly agreed. He would have gone around the shop more and picked something more appealing, but he was afraid that Baekho would find it too “gay” that they were shopping together.

To be honest though, Baekho wasn’t helping his “this is not a date” assertion, because he insisted on paying for the clothes himself when they brought the price tags to the counter. That was totally something a boyfriend would do, thought Seongwoo, but he decided not to comment. He didn’t want to make Baekho uncomfortable.

Besides that, they learned more about one another and Baekho let him listen to some of the demo songs he was working on to ask for input. And when Seongwoo gave his feedback, Baekho took the feedback very seriously, going as far as making notes of it on his phone.

“You’re very perceptive,” Baekho complimented him. “Not many people unfamiliar with music production would pick on these sounds you pointed out. You should think about learning music production. I think you’d be good at it.”

“Would you teach me?” Seongwoo flirted a little, inching his face closer. That earned him a flick on the forehead.

All in all, it was actually a fun date. The funnest date Seongwoo had had in a long time, which said a lot about his previous relationship. And for once, Seongwoo felt content about his life and his relationship status. For once, he felt liberated. For once, he didn’t feel this overwhelming urge to have Minhyun back.

Maybe this “date” was the first step in letting go. Although it was pretty clear that it would not amount to anything more than subtle bromance, it was a good start to something new.

-

When Ren came back to the dorm that night, he scoffed in amusement at what he saw before him.

It was just like old times: on the sofa tangled up in on another’s arms like the obnoxiously touchy couple they used to be. There was a half-eaten pizza on the counter and a movie playing on the screen.

If this had been two years ago, Ren would have woken them up and yelled about the no boyfriend-type skinship rules in the “public” dorm spaces, but this time, he decided to let them be; perhaps they deserved to indulge in one another just a little after all of that drama. He turned off the television, covered them with a blanket, and retreated to his own bed.

He didn’t know what exactly was going on between them, and if this was just an attempt at restoring a long-lost friendship or if it was actually a stepping stone to towards being lovers again, but at this point, he didn’t care. It was a step in the right direction, whatever it was.

He hoped that JR would move back in to Minhyun’s room soon. He missed having his own room.

-

When he and Minhyun were still together, Seongwoo had spent a lot of time in the NU’EST dorm. Now, Seongwoo was spending a whole lot of time in the Pledis studio with Baekho and Bumzu.

He didn’t do much beside watch and comment when Baekho asked for his opinions, but he still enjoyed it because he frankly really enjoyed watching Baekho be so intrigued by his music software.

Maybe Seongwoo had a little crush on him. It was awful because Baekho friend-zoned him very explicitly. So Seongwoo just had to shoo his feelings away when they came to bug him.

He distracted himself from those feeling with Daniel, who he face-timed at least once a week. Daniel was doing very well in Mississippi; he was happy and was already making friends, loving his non-celebrity life to no end.

At that point, it had been well over five months since the break-up with Minhyun. Kang Daniel leaving the idol industry became nothing but a headline for the annals of the past, and people had gotten over and moved past it.

“Can you come back now,” Seongwoo asked him once through face-time. “I desperately need a boyfriend now, and you’re like the only stress-free candidate.”

“Why do you NEED a boyfriend?”

Seongwoo decided it wasn’t smart to tell the guy who loved him about his hopelessly-growing crush on Kang Dongho. “For some undisclosed reason.”

“Tell me!!!” Daniel insisted.

After a bit of back and forth and some begging on Daniel’s part, Seongwoo finally gave in and said: “I have a stupid crush on a straight guy who friend-zoned the hell out of me.” He decided not to specify which straight guy he was talking about.

Daniel just laughed at that, then said: “come on, this is not the determined, goal-driven Seongwoo I know. You’re the guy who seduced a whole Hwang Minhyun. If you can make Minhyun swerve from THE Kim Jonghyun, then you can certainly make a straight dude question his entire life.”

“Why are you encouraging to go aft… wait a minute,” he trailed off as he suddenly he suddenly noticed that something was suspicious in what Daniel said. “How the hell did you know about Jonghyun and Minhyun?”

Minhyun had been very explicit with Seongwoo about this matter: don’t tell any member of Wanna One about the kind of relationship between him and Jonghyun. Jonghyun was a secretive person, which is why, no matter how much Minhyun ached to tell the other members of the band, he couldn’t as to not go against Jonghyun’s wishes. And so, no other Wanna One member ever found out, and Daniel sure as hell wasn’t supposed to know about it.

Daniel was evidently very nervous about the fact he exposed himself, and stuttered on the other end of the line as he tried to come up with an answer to that. Seongwoo used his discursive reasoning to come up with his own: “Dongho told you, didn’t he?”

“No… I mean… he didn’t TELL me. I figured it out, and he kinda… HELPED me figure it out.”

“If I tell Minhyun or Jonghyun about this, Dongho’s going to get his whipped.”

“Well you’re not going to tell them, right? You don’t even like them.”

“I’m good with them, actually. It’s hard to hate Jonghyun, and even though I hate Minhyun because he’s my ex, but I also still love him so it all evens out in the end.”

Daniel just burst out laughing at that cynical humor. It was so Seongwoo and encompassed everything that Daniel loved about him: his honesty, his shrewd humor, his commitment to others.

“I really love you, Ong,” he said after his laughter died down.

“I love you too, Kang,” Seongwoo replied humorously, but suddenly his mind pictured another Kang. This particular Kang was starting to creep into his thoughts way too much these days.

-

Things became better a lot quicker than JR expected they would. Since they talked and Minhyun revealed his insecurities and his fears, they gradually began to communicate more and more until that wall between them was down and they were friends again.

And it was not the forced kind of friendship that JR had been deathly afraid of since they started communicating and talking more. It was a natural and gradual fallback into old time habits of making fun of one another, Minhyun nagging JR to clean up after himself, and joking around until they were both out of breath laughing, just like old times.

JR was satisfied with the way things were. Even if they were not ‘lovers,’ just being in one another’s lives like this was enough for him. On the contrary, putting a label to their relationship seemed like such a stressful thing, and JR was okay not taking that extra step if Minhyun didn’t want to.

JR did not know the state of Minhyun’s heart for him, but whatever it was, Minhyun always kept the associations platonic. But even in that case, not much was different from when they were together, because they had been “platonic” lovers after all.

But it was false to say that nothing had changed. Even though they started communicating again, even though they started hugging and cuddling again, even though they opened to one another again… even though they started doing all the things they used to do before; there was still a feeling of inadequacy that was not there before.

Because JR really wanted to kiss Minhyun now, unlike before. JR wanted to embrace a physical relationship with . JR wanted to give him the same kind of memories that Minhyun probably had with Seongwoo.

But he didn’t push for it. He kept the feelings in his heart and was willing to keep them there forever if that’s what Minhyun wished.

-

It was the night in which they won their first big award as NU’EST and not NU’EST W.

None of them really expected to expected to get emotional about that win: they had already became used to the popularity and the awards, and the win was predictable at that point. However, all five of them were overcome with a sense of finality to their breakthrough story, and it made them emotional.

They cried as they felt like their seven years of dreaming had finally paid off in that one night. It was the night in which the waiting was over, the night where they could finally say they achieved success as NU’EST.

They went out to celebrate that night with meat and soju. The manager asked JR to make a statement, and JR, a little drunk and flustered, stood up and said: “I feel so genuinely happy right now. like nothing in the world could possibly make me happier. Thank you all for not giving up on NU’EST.” He bowed to the staff and to the members and then sat down to continue eating.

“I would like to say something too,” Minhyun announced from beside him. “I’m eternally grateful that you waited for me to celebrate this moment as NU’EST,” he eyed JR. “And I love you. So much.” The words were meant to be directed to the staff and all of s, but Minhyun couldn’t tear his eyes away from JR as he said them.

“I love you too,” JR said, intently holding Minhyun’s gaze.

Maybe it was an aftereffect of the soju, or maybe it was just the overload of feelings taking control of Minhyun’s reflexes at the moment, but he couldn’t overcome the urge to take hold of JR’s collar and close the distance between their lips, right in the middle of the restaurant.

And JR didn’t care. He returned the kiss immediately, indulging in long-held desires without thinking twice about all the strange looks they were getting from staff who were very shocked right now.

Ren, Baekho, and Aron exchanged awkward glances, trying to decide what to do. The lovebirds were breaking every rule in the book right now, but no other member had the heart to interrupt their moment.

And they didn’t need to, because when the kiss came to a natural end and Minhyun parted from JR just enough to look into his dazed but happy eyes, he realized what he had done and pulled away from JR immediately, clearing his throat and going back to eating his meat like nothing happened.

The staff also pretended like nothing happened and carried on eating, dismissing it as some drunken mistake that had no basis in any legitimate romantic feelings for one another.

JR tried to hide his smile throughout the rest of the night. He was aware that they had just done something quite risky and stupid, but despite it all, he was so relieved. He was relieved to feel Minhyun kiss him like that, relieved to know that Minhyun wanted to.

-

When they left the restaurant that night and prepared to get in the van, Aron made sure that Minhyun and JR took the backseat. They needed to talk, and Aron was determined to have them talk sooner rather than later.

He told Baekho and Ren to pretend to be asleep as soon as the van started to move so that Minhyun and JR could feel like they have their privacy, and they all agreed, wanting the two to finally get together after months of tiresome pining. (Ren looked forward to finally getting his own room again).

That was why Aron, Ren and Baekho, with their eyes closed and pretending to be asleep, overheard everything that Minhyun and JR said to one another that night.

“What was that for?” JR whispered softly to Minhyun when he saw that the other members seemed be to asleep in the front seat.

“I don’t know,” Minhyun answered. “I just really wanted kiss you.”

JR smiled a little, shyly looking away as he gathered the courage to do something he wasn’t sure he should do: “I guess now is the right time for me to ask you to… to be my… my boyfriend.”

JR had never really used that word to characterize Minhyun before. Even when they were together, Minhyun was always his lover, not his “boyfriend.” The word boyfriend had always been painfully awkward and had not captured the state of their relationship at all.

Now, JR wanted the connotations of that label to apply. He wanted them to have a youthful relationship of kissing, , adventures, and fun. But apart from that, he also wanted the connotation of being lovers to apply, in which they maintain a connection so deep that neither could really imagine life without the other. He wanted Minhyun to be his boyfriend and his lover.

In response to JR’s question, Minhyun reached out for his leader’s hand and squeezed it. “Jonghyunnie, I don’t want to make the same mistakes as before. We don’t have to be ‘boyfriends’ if that’s not what you want from us. I don’t want you to feel like I need physical affection from you, because I really don’t. Just being with you, exactly as we are now, is more than enough for me.”

“But… but it’s not enough for me,” JR replied, slightly choked up and feeling frustrated that Minhyun didn’t know that. “Minhyun, I want you. All of you. In every way.”

Minhyun only smiled, squeezing the JR’s hand tighter and nodding, not sure what he should say.

Reluctantly, JR inched closer towards Minhyun and closed the distance between their lips again. Minhyun yielded and returned the kiss, softly moving his lips against Jonghyun’s. JR pulled back from kiss shortly after and said: “I’m ready to try this if you are.”

“I would love that,” Minhyun replied, and before long, they were kissing again, exploring one another’s mouths in a passionate indulgence which finally felt like closure. After years of pining and hurting and waiting, they were finally where they wanted to be.

A/N: I think there will be one more chapter left! Maybe two. We’ll see!

ALSO NUBLE COMEBACK INCOMING I'M SO EXCITEDDD