Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, Minhyun thought in the first night he spent with s. Jisung had everyone sit around in a circle that night, and for a long time, the eleven members just talked.

Jisung was a good leader. He seemed to just naturally fill the position that JR left, taking care of all s like any good older brother should. He was simply a sweet person that members naturally relied on.

He was nothing like JR of course, Minhyun thought. There was no one in the world like JR.

Although Minhyun knew he could depend on and trust Jisung as a leader, Minhyun couldn’t help but feel bitterness in his heart at how Jisung seemed to naturally fill the position left empty by JR. For Minhyun, that position was forbidden territory, and no one was allowed to take it now. It was JR’s place and no one else’s.

But Minhyun was being unreasonable and he knew it. He tried to stop being bitter; Jisung didn’t deserve it. But every time Jisung makes a decision as a leader, there was always this small, petty voice in Minhyun’s head saying that JR would have done it so much better.

But even he couldn’t deny that Jisung did well. Gathering the members that night, Jisung accurately told them that they would be spending a lot of time together, and they needed to bond together as a team and trust one another if they’re going to enjoy the next one and a half years.

He told everyone to talk about their fears, and so Jihoon talked about how nervous he was about the high expectations for Wanna One; Guanlin expressed his concern over not being able to communicate well in Korean; Sungwoon talked about his height, which he was so self-conscious about, making everyone laugh, even Minhyun who had been silently sitting and listening the entire time.

Eventually, Minhyun eased into the conversation and began sharing his concerns.

“Please don’t misunderstand,” he told them. “I know crying was very inappropriate, but it’s not that I’m unhappy to debut with you all. I just… miss them,” he told his new members with a shrug.

And they were so supportive. “Don’t worry about it,” they told him. “It’s okay to cry.” “We’re here for you.” “If you want to cry, then don’t hold back. We won’t judge.”

If Minhyun had to debut with another group of guys that were not his NU’EST members, he was very glad that it was this group. There was not a single member that Minhyun disliked here, not a single member that he didn’t like being with. It was a group filled with positive energy and determination.

Maybe being with them for so long would not be so bad after all. Maybe he’ll like it. Maybe he’ll grow just as close to them as he was to NU’EST.

The conversation naturally led to another topic of discussion, leading Jisung to ask if there was anyone in a relationship.

Jinyoung was the first to confess, telling them about a trainee girl in his company that he was “in love with.” From the way that he spoke about her, Minhyun could tell that he was serious.

Jaehwan also admitted with embarrassment that he was in a relationship, but not a very serious one. It was a girl he met shortly before Produce 101 who had nice s and a . She was kind of a one-night-stand that turned into a relationship. But now that Jaehwan had made it into the nation’s boy group, she seemed to want something a lot more serious than Jaehwan initially planned for.

Sungwoon then raised his hand and talked about the girl from his hometown that he had been dating for four years now. He was also very serious about her.

“Anyone else?” Jisung asked, looking around the rest of the members.

Minhyun didn’t raise his hand. Didn’t even consider it. As much as he liked s and trusted them, he couldn’t tell them about his relationship with Jonghyun. And he didn’t plan to.

-

Unfortunately, Minhyun didn’t have his phone with him anymore. Their new manager had taken away all their phones, and they were only allowed to have it back every once in a while, with the manager’s permission.

It seemed like YMC wanted to regulate their lives, Minhyun began to realize. It was not like that under Pledis. Frustrating as Pledis was, at least they were not so imposing on their artist’s personal lives. YMC seemed very keen on making sure that, if the members had any relationships, that those relationships are kept on the extreme down-low; as Im Youngmin’s case so clearly showed: having a girlfriend diminishes a male idol’s market value by a long way.

Sungwoon and Jinyoung complained of course. Their phones were their only connection they had to their girlfriends, especially since they obviously won’t be seeing her very often. Minhyun felt sorry for them until he realized that he was in the exact same boat.

He had a lover too.

-

When Baekho’s scandal erupted just a few days after the finale, Minhyun didn’t have his phone, and so he didn’t know what his friend was going through.

That day, Wanna One was very busy with schedules, filming commercials and doing photoshoots, and so Minhyun couldn’t find out about the scandal until about a whole 24 hours later from Daehwi, who heard about it from his mom.

“Minhyun-hyung,” Daehwi had called out to him. “It’s not true, right?”

“What’s not true?”

“The scandal…”

“What scandal?”

“Dongho-hyung’s…”

Minhyun narrowed his eyes and asked Daehwi to explain, and so Daehwi told him what he knew. Immediately after finding out about it, Minhyun went to the manager and asked for his phone.

“Why?” the manager, Jo Jungwoo, asked. He had a frown on his face and an unkind look in his eye. Minhyun could tell that the Jungwoo was not keen on giving him back his phone.

“I have to talk to someone,” Minhyun replied politely.

“I’m sorry, but no. You can’t talk to your NU’EST members,” Jungwoo told him. “They are associated with a very serious scandal, and we cannot have you stay in contact with him.”

Minhyun liked his Wanna One members, but he really, really didn’t like his manager. He wasn’t the type to complain, and so he didn’t. He accepted the verdict with a polite nod, and asked, at least, to be able to speak with his mother, for which the manager granted him permission.

He called Baekho’s mother instead. He had her number because Baekho often forgot to charge his phone and used Minhyun’s phone to talk to her. Also, Minhyun called Baekho’s mom “mom” as well, and so he knew he could trick the manager, who was standing over his head, into thinking that he was actually talking to his own mother.

She picked up and Minhyun greeted her, calling her “mom.”

“Minhyunnie,” Baekho’s mother said softly. She sounded sad and stressed out. “How are you, my dear?”

“I’m not important right now. How are you? How is Baekho? What happened?”

“We are not well at all… his dad is sick and this scandal broke loose and our family is in so much stress. Please Minhyunnie, please check on Dongho for me. I want to go to him, but I can’t leave his father. Our Dongho is so far away right now and going through such a difficult time, and my heart is breaking. You always knew how to take care of him when he’s stressed, Minhyunnie. So please, look after him and make sure he’s eating well.” Minhyun could tell that she was crying, and he felt his heart break. He wanted to ask for information about the scandal, but he didn’t want to stress Mrs. Kang more than she already was.

“Don’t worry,” Minhyun told her trying to sound positive and reassuring. “I’ll check on him and I’ll make sure he’s happy. Please, take care of yourself and your husband; and leave Dongho to me, okay?”

“Thank you, son,” she told him with a sniffle.

“I hope Mr. Kang recovers quickly,” he told her politely.

“I hope so too, son.”

Minhyun heard the sound of a grown man gagging, and he guessed it was Baekho’s dad. Minhyun felt concerned: that was not the sound of someone with a simple fever. He couldn’t imagine the stress she would be going through right now, and suddenly felt like he was obliged to help her, at least with making sure that Baekho was okay.

“Baekho is a strong man,” Minhyun reassured her. “He never let hate comments bother him before, and I’m sure this is no different. So don’t worry about him and focus on your mental health and Mr. Kang’s physical health. Everything will be okay in the end, I promise.”

“You always know the right things to say, Minhyunnie,” Baekho’s mom said. “Thank you. Now if you would excuse me, I have to go.”

“Of course. Go ahead. I’ll call you later, okay?” Minhyun said as positively as he could manage.

“Yes my dear. Goodbye,” she said before closing the line.

As soon as Minhyun removed the phone from his ear, manager Jungwoo startled him saying: “you lied to me.”

“I’m sorry?” Minhyun raised an eyebrow.

“You said you were going to talk to your mom. That wasn’t your mom.”

Minhyun groaned internally; he had forgotten that this man would be listening in on the conversation with the belief that his mom was on the other end of the line.

“She is my mom,” he tried with a polite smile.

“That’s Kang Dongho’s mother.”

“I call her mom too.”

“Stop playing games with me, kid,” Jungwoo said, snatching the phone from Minhyun’s hand. “You deliberately disobeyed me, and for that, you are not allowed to have your phone for another 24 hours.”

Minhyun wanted to complain, but he figured it was useless. He bowed politely and said, “as you wish.”

Minhyun knew he was going to hate this man. And he also knew that he wouldn’t be able to keep his promise to Baekho’s mother; he won’t be able to take care of Baekho.

For crying out loud, he wasn’t even allowed to speak to him.

-

Ong noticed that Minhyun was quieter than usual, and figured it had to do with Dongho. There were whispers among the Wanna One members about it, and so Ong knew the story and understood how bad it was.

“But did he actually do it?” he heard Woojin ask Daehwi with wide eyes.

“I don’t know,” Daehwi replied. “When I asked Minhyun, he didn’t give a definite answer. But the evidence is there, I mean…”

Ong heard Sungwoon, Jihoon, and Jinyoung also whisper about it as if Dongho was actually guilty of the crime. None of them said anything in front of Minhyun about it, but Minhyun was a lot smarter than they gave him credit for. Of course, Minhyun noticed that everyone was starting to have doubts about Baekho, and of course, Minhyun hated it. That’s why Minhyun wasn’t talking to anyone, Ong reasoned. Not only was he stressed about the future of his group, but he also felt upset that his Wanna One members doubted the character of one of his closest friends.

Ong didn’t know if Dongho did it or not. And to be frank, he did even care. All he cared about at this point was Minhyun and how to use this to his advantage, and so he began to strategize.

First thing’s first– he tricked the manager into giving him his phone for a bit. (“I need to talk to my doctor! I also need to keep my phone on me in case he needs to talk to me. It’s an emergency!”)

Second, he delved deep into the NU’EST fandom discourse about this entire scandal; he knew that Dongho’s fans would find ways to defend him no matter what, and boy would they be the best at it. With that, he picked out the best arguments in defense of Dongho and noted them in his head.

And that night, when Wanna One was in their dorm that night, Jisung called for a group meeting, just like Ong had predicted. He asked everyone to talk about their concerns and their fears, and everyone seemed to be looking at Minhyun and expecting him to say something.

“I have a fear,” Ong said, raising his hand and diverting attention away from Minhyun (he figured that earned him some brownie points).

“Please share,” Jisung gestured.

“I’m afraid that some is going lie and accuse me of ual assault and post it publicly on Pann so that I can get dragged in the mud,” Ong said blatantly, startling everyone, especially Minhyun.

“I didn’t know Dongho all that well to be honest,” Ong continued, “but that who accused him is such a ing liar.”

Everyone was so surprised to see Ong use curse words unhumorously and talk with such conviction; he had never been the serious type. And because he was talking so differently than he was before, his words suddenly carried more weight. If Ong Seongwoo, the person who didn’t let anything faze him before, is angry, then there must be good reason to be angry.

“There are inconsistencies in her story,” he began… and then started recounting his research. All of the stuff that the NU’EST fans had found out about her story, all of the inconsistencies, all of the rumors about her reputation, all of the lies she told about him from which Jeju residents defended him– he put it all out on the table for the members to consume. Needless to say, all of them came out of the group meeting with renewed trust in Baekho’s character, as well as the fear that maybe some crazy with a grudge is going to do it to them.

Ong watched Minhyun’s expression carefully as he made his soliloquy. Minhyun had stars in his eyes, and it looked like he was on the verge to crying.

“Let Dongho’s story be a lesson to all of you,” Jisung concluded. “Be careful who you talk to and what you text to people and what you say on the phone. Who knows if your words will be taken out of context to ruin your career. Anyways, let’s all support him when we see him next time during the concert practice, okay? Don’t be awkward around him and make it harder for him than it already is.”

Shortly after, Jisung dismissed the meeting.

And as Ong predicted, as everyone retreated to do their own thing, Minhyun came to find him.

“Thank you so much,” Minhyun told Seongwoo. “Really, Seongwoo. Thank you.”

Seongwoo smiled and slung his arm around Minhyun’s shoulder. “No problem buddy.” He then leaned in towards Minhyun’s ears and whispered, “in the bathroom, in the cupboard behind the toilet paper, there’s my phone. Passcode is 6969. I’ll tell the manager you’re taking a long shower.” He then pulled away and pushed Minhyun playfully, “Minhyun ew, you smell like antelope pee, go take a three-hour shower,” Seongwoo said out loud.

“Seongwoo, you’re the best,” Minhyun said putting his hands together in gratitude. “I love you.” With that, he turned and eagerly went to take his “shower.”

Ong smiled. He was getting off to a great start.

-

Minhyun sat on the bathroom floor, Ong’s phone in his hand. Ong only had JR’s number, and so that’s only person Minhyun could text.

“Jonghyun, it’s Minhyun on Seongwoo’s phone.” Minhyun prayed JR would answer.

“Minhyunnie?” came the response, and Minhyun sighed in relief.

“Yes, it’s me. Manager banned me from my phone today. Long story. How’s baekho???”

“can I call you?”

“no, no. can’t talk. In the bathroom and if our evil manager hears me talking, idk what he’ll do.”

“ok. Why did it take you so long to check up though? It’s been two days…”

“I couldn’t check up, they took my phone. I was so worried the entire time though. What the hell is happening? He didn’t do it, right? It’s all lies, right?”

“i don’t want to tell you like this on another person’s phone.”

Minhyun froze. Just how serious was this that JR didn’t even want to text about it on Seongwoo’s phone? Why couldn’t JR just say no, Baekho didn’t do it? Did Baekho do it? Minhyun was suddenly worried again. Just when Seongwoo had eased his anxiety about the whole situation just a little bit, this just made him so much more uneasy.

Of course, Minhyun wished that Baekho didn’t do it, but only because that meant it would be more likely that Baekho’s name is cleared and people would continue to love him. If he did do it, the public would hate him, and that prospect frightened Minhyun immensely. For Minhyun personally, eight years of knowing Baekho isn’t going to go down the drain because of something ty he did when he was 12.

Minhyun really just wanted people to love Baekho. Baekho, who had struggled with him for years, who was more passionate about music than anyone else that Minhyun knew, who did more for NU’EST than anyone else in the company, who sacrificed his life and his pride to save his group. Baekho deserved to be loved, regardless of whether or not he actually did what the girl was accusing him of.

Minhyun was so afraid of Baekho being outcasted from the group by NU’EST fans. He was afraid of Baekho getting the image of ual predator even though that image is so far from what Baekho is.

He wanted people to love NU’EST, all of NU’EST, because it’s all of NU’EST that makes NU’EST special. He wanted all of s to get the same love and devotion from the public. If one member is excluded from that, then they wouldn’t be loving the same NU’EST that Minhyun really wanted them to love.

With trembling fingers, Minhyun replied to JR: “fine. Don’t talk about the case. But tell me, is he ok?”

“honestly, no. wish you were here. He needs you. We all do.”

Minhyun felt so guilty. He wished he could be there with them too; he really did. He wanted to be there for Baekho like he promised his mom. He wanted to help Jonghyun with the burden of carrying NU’EST’s fate. He wanted to understand what the hell was going on from Baekho himself and not from the stupid internet rumors.

He felt so excluded from NU’EST in that moment.

Somehow it felt like the scandal was his own scandal, like he was the one being accused of ual assault. When he went online to read the comments and public’s reaction, every hate comment somehow felt like it was targeted toward him personally. It was draining.

He went back to his phone, opened the chat with JR and wrote: “Jonghyunnie please tell baekho I love him no matter what.”

JR replied shortly after with: “ok, I will. But now I’m jealous.”

Minhyun knew that the lighthearted comment was JR’s attempt at making Minhyun smile and feel better. It worked. “I love you so much more, jju-ya ♥”

“hehe.”

Minhyun was still smiling when he read that. He can almost hear that shy laugh in his head, and it made him feel warm after all the mean comments he was reading online. But Minhyun knew that although JR was laughing through text, he was not actually laughing out loud.

“I hope you’re ok,” Minhyun typed, even though Minhyun was aware that JR was so far from okay. If even Minhyun felt hurt by all the mean comments that Baekho was getting, he couldn’t imagine the hurt that JR himself would be feeling. JR always shouldered the blame for anything that ever happened to NU’EST, and so this whole scandal must really be taking a toll on him.

“Don’t worry,” JR replied. “Everything will be okay.”

A/N: I’m sorry it took so long to update this. TT

And yes, I’m going to try to follow real events that actually happened to nu’est in this story, so i’m trying to imagine how Minhyun would react to baekho’s scandal and stuff. P.S. baekho’s case isn’t over. We don’t know what’s true and not true. But for the sake of this fic, I’m going to make some assumptions which could very well be wrong.

Also I promise I wont take as long to updates next time.