JR met her for the first time in a little coffee shop in Gangnam. He had made it clear to her that it was not a date, and that he only wanted to ask her a favor. She told him that she understood, agreeing to meet him anyways for whatever he wanted to brief her on.

He told her that, for undisclosed reasons, he lied to Hwang Minhyun and told him that he was dating her.

She narrowed her eyes. “Really?”

“I’m sorry,” JR bowed to her, feeling ashamed of himself. He knew it was wrong to use her name like that, and he never intended to. But as the lie got bigger, she was naturally implicated into this mess.

She laughed and shook her head, and JR couldn’t quite understand what she was thinking.

“What?” he asked.

“It’s just that you’re Kim Jonghyun, you know? You have this very pure and honest image in Korea. I never thought you’d be someone to lie,” she said. “It just makes you think about how true-to-life a kpop idol’s image is, you know?”

Guiltily, he nodded. “Sadly, I’m not pure or honest,” he admitted. “I’m very flawed, and I understand if you hate me for this.”

“Ah, now that’s the self-deprecating Jonghyun I saw on Produce 101!” she said with a smile. “I could never hate you, Jonghyun. If you lied to Hwang Minhyun, there must be a good reason for it. I won’t pry,” she added, and JR was thankful for that. “So, what do you want me to do?”

-

The meeting was arranged about three weeks later, when DIA, Wanna One, and NU’EST’s W’s schedules finally found overlapping free time one night.

Jooeun did not find out the truth about the relationship between Minhyun and Jonghyun. All she was told was that he wanted her to pretend to be JR’s girlfriend, and that Minhyun wanted to meet her as such.

“Thank you so much for doing this,” he told her before the meeting.

“Don’t mention it. I’m actually kind of happy to do it. According to 100% of the fanfiction I’ve read, me pretending to be your girlfriend means you’re going to end up falling in love with me anyways,” she joked.

JR smiled shyly at that. “Fanfiction?”

“Oh, I love fanfics,” she readily admitted. “I read a lot of NU’EST ones especially.”

“Oh, so you’re a fan?” he asked her.

“If I weren’t an idol, I’d probably be a Kim Jonghyun fansite master,” she teased. “So really, I’m glad to lie for you. And if you want me to kiss you too, I’ll happily oblige!” she shamelessly joked, making him blush again.

“Oh no, there will be no need for that,” he managed to say through flushed cheeks.

-

To avoid paparazzi and all the potential dating scandals, Minhyun and JR reserved a table at a restaurant with private rooms.

Minhyun was already waiting at the table when JR and Jooeun walked in.

She looked very, very pretty, Minhyun noted as she came in. She wore a short skirt and tight-fit top, her long hair up in a high ponytail. JR had his hands in his pockets as the two approached the table together, side by side.

Seeing them together like that stung Minhyun so much.

“Ah, Hwang Minhyun, nice to finally meet you,” she told him as she bowed. She had such a sweet voice, Minhyun thought.

They sat down and talked. JR was mostly quiet, but Jooeun had a lot to say. Minhyun asked her general questions about herself which she answered with grace and sophistication. Small wonder that JR fell for her, Minhyun thought.

At one point in the middle of the conversation, Minhyun’s phone rang. It was his manager, and so Minhyun decided to get up from the table to answer it in private; Minhyun didn’t want JR and Jooeun hearing the manager’s yells and feeling sorry for him.

“Excuse me,” Minhyun said, standing up and leaving to take the phone call.

Jooeun turned her attention to Jonghyun, who had been mostly sitting silent the entire time.

“Maybe reading slash fanfiction has distorted my perception of reality, but am I right in sensing something kind of… special… between you two?”

JR couldn’t find it in himself to lie to her. “You’re very perceptive,” was his answer.

“Oh my God, he loves you, doesn’t he? I knew he was staring daggers into me! He hates me for being your girlfriend, doesn’t he?”

“It’s a long story,” JR told her. “And I promise to tell you everything but…”

“You love him too, right?” Jooeun interrupted.

“I…” he trailed off.

“You shouldn’t lie to someone you love,” Jooeun told him. “That like the worst thing you can do.”

JR nodded. She was right, and he knew it, and it made him so guilty to know that a stranger like her saw it before JR himself did.

“You’re right,” he said. “But it’s hard to tell him the truth now.”

“The more you wait, the bigger the lie will grow and the harder it will be for Minhyun to forgive you if he ever finds out the truth. So my advice is to tell him now.”

And just like that, JR decided to heed her advice. “Okay,” he announced. “When he comes back, I’ll tell him.”

“In that case, my work here is done,” Jooeun said, standing up from the chair and taking her bag.

“You’re leaving?” he asked.

“I don’t want to get in the way of you two. You guys seem like you have a lot to talk about without me here, so I’ll go. But you have my number. If you ever want to go on an actual date, I’m ready,” she winked, gave a curt bow, and left without another word.

Minhyun came back a minute later.

“I saw Jooeun walk out. Is everything okay?” Minhyun asked.

JR took a deep breath and looked in Minhyun’s eyes directly.

“I can’t do this anymore, Minhyunnie,” JR managed.

“Do what?”

“Minhyun, I love you,” JR stressed, and at that moment, all of his inhibitions were shattered. For once, JR wanted to do something selfish. For once, he wanted to stop thinking about who he was hurting with his. For once, he wanted to do something for himself.

“JR, what are you saying?” Minhyun’s voice wavered as he asked the question. He didn’t like where this conversation was going. He didn’t like it at all.

“I never dated Jooeun,” JR confessed. “I just told you that I did, because I wanted you to feel comfortable enough to do what I know you wanted to do with Seongwoo.”

Minhyun fell silent.

“But now I regret everything. I should have fought for you back then. I should have done everything I can to keep us together, because I love you, Minhyunnie,” JR confessed.

“Please stop saying these things,” Minhyun managed in a stutter.

“I want you back,” JR plead earnestly.

Minhyun shook his head, but he had no words. JR was being so… selfish right now. JR was being so unfair, and Minhyun was angry but too overwhelmed to say anything. He was angry at JR for lying to him and angry at him for thinking it was okay to just spring this on him on the spot. He was angry at himself for how it made him feel and how a part of him was so prepared to let go of everything that he had built with Seongwoo in one fell swoop.

“But why not?” JR would not give in so easily.

“JR please…”

“If this is about , then we’ll have . And I’ll kiss you the way Seongwoo kisses you too. I’ll do anything to win you back, Minhyun. Anything…”

“JR, stop!” Minhyun yelled; he had had enough.

It was at this point, that JR decided to give up.

“If you had told me you wanted me back the moment I broke up with you, or even anytime with a month of our break-up, I would have run back to you without a second thought. But it’s too late now, Jonghyunnie,” Minhyun managed. “I… can’t go back now. I have someone else in my life. I can’t leave him. I don’t want to leave him.”

JR could only nod.

“And… I’m so disappointed in you,” Minhyun managed to say. “This is not the Jonghyun that I know.” With that, Minhyun stood up and left.

JR sat on the table all by himself, three half-finished plates of food in front of him, feeling worse than he had ever felt his entire life. His heart felt more broken than it did when Minhyun first broke up with him, and he felt so much more shattered.

He heard the door creak open and someone walk in. JR thought it was a waiter, and he was too embarrassed to lift his head. Instead he felt someone sit on the seat beside him, and from the bottom of this person’s body, JR knew it was Jooeun.

“If you want me to leave, just stay quiet and I’ll leave,” she said. “If you want me to say, give me a sign, and I’ll stay.”

JR naturally let out a cough. He didn’t mean to, but it came out.

“I’m taking that as sign to stay,” she said. “Which is good, because someone has to finish all this food.” She began to eat the leftovers on their plates, and she ordered a drink for JR too. JR didn’t complain, and he took the glass and began to drink while she ate.

By the end of it, Jooeun had wiped all three plates clean, and Jonghyun had three glasses of wine and was too tipsy to move.

Jooeun didn’t know what to do with him. Kim Jonghyun going out drunk in public? That was a scandal waiting to erupt that she as his fan did not want him to face. But he needed to get home some way or the other. She wished she knew another NU’EST member’s number, but she had no way to contact them.

“Yah, Jooeun-ah,” JR mumbled drunkenly.

“Yes?”

“Have you ever got your heart broken?”

“Multiple times.”

“How did you handle it?”

“I got drunk,” she answered. “Kind of like you right now.”

“I’m not drunk,” JR slurred.

“You are,” she told him. “But it’s okay, we’ll find a way to get you out of here and not risk your career getting ruined.”

“My heart’s already ruined. Doesn’t matter what happens to my career,” Jonghyun grumbled.

“Don’t be stupid,” she said. “No failed relationship is worth your career.”

“It’s not?”

“Of course not.”

That was the end of that conversation, and in the silence that followed, Jonghyun sat idly while Jooeun called Chayeon, who provided Pristin’s Nayoung’s number. Then Jooeun called Nayoung, who provided Choi Minki’s number. After which Jooeun finally reached a NU'EST member.

After calling Minki and telling him what happened, Minki was at the restaurant within 20 minutes with a large jacket and a face mask to help Jonghyun get out undetected and into a car waiting outside.

Jooeun was thus left alone and forced to pay the large bill for all the food and the drinks ordered that night.

JR would remember this of course, and would her out again to make up for it.

-

The truest test of Minhyun’s commitment to Seongwoo came in the time of Fantiago Entertainment’s crisis, when Seongwoo was facing a lot of stress.

Before, Minhyun had been the one with all the problems, and Seongwoo was the one supporting him through it, but suddenly the roles were reversed, and Seongwoo was the one who was troubled.

The company was going through financial difficulty and recently the staff had gone on strike; this made the future of the company uncertain. Needless to say, this was not something that Seongwoo had factored into his carefully-considered and astutely-planned career scheme.

Seongwoo was visibly different in the time this was happening. He was no longer the funny clown that everyone knew and loved. He was quiet and to himself, not really engaging with anyone unless he had to.

He did not expect anything from Minhyun at all during this difficult time; both seemed to have predetermined roles in their relationship. Minhyun was the damsel in distress, and Seongwoo was the upbeat, funky boyfriend that made everything better. Seongwoo accepted those roles, and didn’t expect Minhyun to be much emotional support.

But Seongwoo was pleasantly surprised at just how much help Minhyun was in this difficult time. Very, very pleasantly surprised.

Minhyun was able to cheer him up and lift his spirits in times when Seongwoo felt utterly and completely hopeless. Minhyun was able to take the wheel and steer him, motivate and encourage him. Seongwoo didn’t think it was possible for Hwang Minhyun to get any more perfect, but this just showed him otherwise.

If Seongwoo had to choose the most memorable thing that Minhyun had ever said to him, it would be what Minhyun had said to cheer Seongwoo up during that ordeal: “Ong, you like having things under control, but you have to realize that sometimes you can’t control everything. Sometimes things will happen to you, and you just have to sit back and take them. I know it’s frustrating to not be able to regulate your destiny, but the more you expect to, the unhappier you’ll be.”

“Minhyun…”

“You remember those words, right?” Minhyun told his boyfriend with a smile. “They’re almost the exact same words you said to me a long time ago, when I was upset at how quickly things were changing. You don’t understand how much you helped me back then. Now it’s my turn to give back to you.”

Seongwoo, for the first time, was at a loss for words. For the first time since becoming boyfriends, Seongwoo felt that this was a relationship of mutual dependence.

It gave hope to Seongwoo that maybe 2019 wouldn’t be the end of them after all.

-

The most awkward moment of both Seongwoo and Jonghyun’s life must have been when the two ran into each other in the bathroom of the MBC building. They were both signing contracts for shows there, and somehow, in a crazy coincidence, they both ended up alone in same bathroom at the same time.

Neither knew how to act with one another. Since Minhyun and Seongwoo were together, both Jonghyun and Seongwoo had made a conscious effort to not talk to one another. And when Wanna One and NU’EST had overlapping schedules, the two avoided one another, and thankfully, Wanna One had enough members for Jonghyun to distract himself with.

But now, there they were, washing their hands in the same bathroom, both unsure of what to say.

“Hi,” Jonghyun began with that nice smile on his face.

“Hello,” Seongwoo replied as he waved his hand under an automatic soap dispenser that wasn’t dispensing any soap.

“That one’s empty,” Jonghyun informed him. “Use the other.”

“Isn’t technology supposed to make things easier,” Seongwoo groaned jokingly as he walked a couple of steps to get to the other dispenser. He hoped his joke would lighten the painfully awkward tension between them, but Jonghyun didn’t laugh or smile of show any signs of amusement, which made it ten times more awkward.

Seongwoo distracted himself by washing his hands. JR was finished washing his hands, but he just stood in front of the sink, feeling like it was rude to just leave.

“I don’t know how to act with you,” Jonghyun suddenly said.

Seongwoo understood how Jonghyun felt completely. He wouldn’t know how to act with a guy who stole his boyfriend either.

But in an effort to keep things friendly, Seongwoo replied: “Act with me the way you would act with someone who is really, really apologetic for all the pain that he caused you and wishes you all the happiness in the world and wants you to know that he loves the person that you love and is doing everything in his power to make that person happy.”

Jonghyun smiled at that and nodded, then reached out his hand to shake Seongwoo’s.

“What is this, a business deal?” Seongwoo laughed reaching out to shake Jonghyun’s hand anyways.

“It’s a truce,” Jonghyun replied.

“You make it sound like we were in combat.”

“Weren’t we? Because I distinctly remember you winning.”

“Don’t be so sure about that,” Seongwoo said. “The booty is only mine for now, but the war isn’t over.”

JR burst out laughing. No matter how cold and cynical that joke was, it was hilarious.

“I’ll enjoy the booty while I can,” Seongwoo continued joking.

“You do that,” Jonghyun replied, still smiling. “And thank you for making the… the booty... happy.”

“I hope you find booty of your own one day!” Seongwoo replied.

Jonghyun nodded, and for the first time ever, he felt at peace with Seongwoo, at peace with Minhyun, and at peace with the ways things were right now.

-

It was December of 2018.

Seongwoo and Minhyun had been together for about a year now, and it was a happy relationship with little fights and a lot of fun. With Seongwoo, Minhyun had done things he never even dreamed he would do, things he couldn’t even talk about or he would get in so much trouble.

But Seongwoo’s ultimatum was still hanging over Minhyun’s head. And as 2019 neared, Minhyun became more and more anxious about the expiry date of their relationship.

Minhyun didn’t want it to end with Seongwoo, but he couldn’t honestly say he was in love with him either.

Minhyun was familiar with how being in love felt like, because he had felt it for Jonghyun less than a year ago. Those feelings have faded, but Minhyun still vividly remembered them, how literally everything about Jonghyun was precious and how Minhyun wanted to be with Jonghyun forever and ever and ever.

Those were not the kinds of feelings he had for Seongwoo. At least not yet. One year was a long time, but not long enough for such a deep connection to form. Even for Jonghyun, it took over three years before the feelings became discernable enough for Minhyun to express them as “love.”

Minhyun just hoped that Seongwoo wouldn’t actually carry through with the break-up. Getting over Jonghyun should be enough, right?

And truly, Minhyun had fallen out of love with Jonghyun. Ever since Minhyun found out that JR had lied to him for months, something in Minhyun shifted, and the disappointment in him slowly dulled those once very, very powerful feelings. And just like that, Minhyun stopped thinking about him every single day.

He expressed all of this to Seongwoo, but Minhyun wasn’t sure it was enough to pass their relationship on to the next round. Seongwoo had made it very explicit that he wouldn’t accept anything less than “love.”

“Seongwoo, about 2019…” Minhyun had tried to open the subject with him.

“No!” Seongwoo would yell back and close the subject. “We can talk about 2019 in 2019.”

Eventually, Wanna One wrapped up their final concert. All that was left was the countdown V-Live to the expiration of Wanna One’s contracts.

Minhyun had come to treasure and love every single one of s, and as happy as he was to finally go back to NU’EST, he knew that that that happiness would not change the sadness of seeing Wanna One disband. It had been the journey of a lifetime, a journey in which he found fame, fortune, friendship, and a boyfriend.

-

2019 was here.

The countdown V-Live ended in a lot of tears and long-lasting hugs. Two minutes into 2019, the cameras were turned off to give the 11 members their privacy.

Seongwoo turned to Minhyun and said: “I guess this is the end of us too, then.” It seemed more of a question than a statement.

“Don’t do this now, Seongwoo,” Minhyun replied, really not feeling up to arguing with Seongwoo about this two minutes into Wanna One’s disbandment. Minhyun still had not wrapped his head around the fact Wanna One was over, and was just mindlessly hugging other crying members as he processed it.

Ong leaned forward and kissed Minhyun’s cheek before saying: “I promised myself that I would do this, so I’m breaking up with you now.”

“Seongwoo, come on. You’re not actually ending what we have, right?” Minhyun wanted to punch a wall at the moment. Did Seongwoo really choose to break up now, minutes into 2019? Minhyun expected to have this conversation soon, but not this soon.

Minhyun’s voice was loud and so all the other members heard, they turned and watched the couple with wonder in their eyes.

“Minhyun, we made a deal,” Seongwoo muttered. “Why are you fighting it?”

“It was a ridiculous deal to begin with!” Minhyun yelled. “I can’t believe you’re actually breaking up!!”

Seongwoo seemed just as hurt as Minhyun, but he didn’t seem prepared to discuss anything. He rushed out of the room, down the emergency stairs of the YMC building until he was in the parking lot. There he set himself between two cars and buried his face in his legs, letting himself cry.

He had failed. Hard as he tried, he could not get Hwang Minhyun to fall in love with him. Now, Minhyun was going to be busy in his own group, with his Jonghyunnie.

It took four minutes of Seongwoo silently crying to himself in between the two cars for Minhyun to find him. When he didn, Minhyun took Seongwoo’s arm, pulled him up from the floor, and pushed him against the parking lot pillar.

“Look me in the eye and tell me you want to break up,” Minhyun demanded in a way that was so uncharacteristic of him. Minhyun never raised his voice like that; Minhyun never had a frown on his face; Minhyun never pushed people.

Seongwoo lifted his head and looked Minhyun in the eye, willing to do just what Minhyun had asked. He really, really, really wanted to break up. He had to break up, because if he didn’t, then Minhyun was going to leave him in the end. Because Jonghyunnie was irresistibly lovable.

But looking Minhyun in the eye made him falter. He wanted to break up, but at the same time, he really, really didn’t.

When Seongwoo hesitated, Minhyun spared no second to capture his lips in his, kissing him like he always did. And as much as Seungwoo wanted to push Minhyun away and insist that they weren’t together anymore, his heart overpowered his brain, and he found himself kissing Minhyun back.

A/N: it’s a long chapter to make up for my lateness. And again. so much angst (you should expect this by now!)

And sorry if it was boring and it seemed like things weren’t moving, but I felt like it was an important chapter. but the next chapter will be a lot more interesting, I think!