Chapter 9                           

One year ago…

            Yu An.

It's been a year since Dad changed. Whenever I get recognized for my accomplishments, he genuinely congratulates me and tells me that he's so proud of me. The same goes with Mom but it's usually Dad who does that. But now he hurts me. He yells at me telling that it's not enough. I don't even know what's enough and when to stop.

I winced, feeling the pain on my back. I my pajamas and tossed them in the hamper and then I see it. The spot where Dad hit me left a mark. I jump in the tub and felt the water on my skin. Nobody knows about this. Not my brother, not Mom and not even Han Bin.

I heard a ring on my phone back in my room and I know it's Han Bin. I guess he's going to ask if he can pick me up to school but I don't want to. I just wanted to be alone. I placed my palm in between my ears and shut my eyes close.

"I don't know what to do anymore." I mumble to myself.

I've been crying every night and cry myself to sleep because that's the only way that I can sleep. For me not to think of a way of reaching what is enough for my Dad. I'm do tired of it. I just wished I didn't reach the top in the first place.

I rinsed myself and dress for school. I head down and thankfully my parents are not home and it's just my brother.

"Yu! Why aren't you answering your phone? Han Bin called earlier. He wants to pick you up."

"Oh, I guess I didn't charge it. Can you tell him that he can go ahead of me?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

I smile as I eat my breakfast even though I'll end up throwing all of it later. I just don't want my brother's effort to be wasted.

After eating our breakfast, we both headed to the train station and arrived school. I look everywhere and everything's fast paced. It's like they don't have something to hold their lives with. Is it only me?

"Yu An!" Han Bin approaches.

I told you to choose your friends! Not the ones who are in the same level as you are! If they keep on keeping up with you, step on them and leave them. We will end up being alone in the end Yu An. We can never be close to anyone other than family.

I don't choose friends because there are no options to begin with. All of them are fake. I only have Han Bin so how will I choose? It seems to me that reaching Dad's expectations is him asking me not to be friends with anyone. I don't think I can survive without Han Bin.

"Hey."

"Why didn't you pick up earlier? I was calling."

“Sorry. My battery's dead.”

"I see." He stops and stares at me. "Are you okay? You look pale."

I am never okay.

I fake a smile and nod. "Mm. I am."

"Okay." He replies and takes his seat.

Usual routine happened and I don't get what I am doing this for. I stare at the exam presented on my and My hand won't move. I know all the answers but I can't seem to write. I stand up on my way to the wash room when I felt dizzy. The next thing I know is I'm at the floor blacking out.

When I came to, I saw Han Bin staring at me. Worried. I sit up and he helps me. "You okay?"

"Mm. I guess a bit tired." I still feel sleepy and I just want to sleep. I want to sleep so that I can't think of anything.

"Do you want to sleep?"

"Mm. Can you stay with me?"

Han Bin smiles and caressed my hair. "As much as you like."

And I did. When I woke up, it's four in the afternoon. Classes are dismissed, tests are over. I glance on my side and saw Han Bin sleeping. I gasp. He literally didn't leave!

"Han Bin? Hey wake up!"

He groans as he rubs his eyes. "Oh it's four."

"Yes it's freaking four!"

He chuckles. "Calm down. I'll go and talk to the teacher regarding the exam. We just have one exam to answer left anyway."

"No, I'll do it."

"You sure? You still don't look well to me."

I smile. "I'm fine."

I head to the faculty room and looked for our adviser. He sees me and approached. "Yu An! Are you okay now?"

"Yes sir."

"Well that's good! Can you also call Han Bin for me? I'll both let you take the exam."

"About that sir.."

"Yes?"

"I will not be taking it. But I can tell Han Bin. Can I ask you a favor not to tell him or anyone that I will not be retaking the exam?"

"Sure but.. Yu An you'll fail this subject and it will affect your overall grade."

"I'm sure sir." I smile and bid him goodbye.

I head back to the classroom and grab my bag. I left a message on Han Bin's table regarding the retake and leave.

I walk on my way home. I stopped by the river near our place to pass time. If I go home, my tutor will be there and I'll be studying again. I just want to stay away from academics for a while.

"YU AN!"

I turn around and saw Han Bin approaching. He's huffing as he catch his breath, dragging his bag with him. He threw the bag beside me and grabs my wrist.

"Han Bin."

"What the hell was that?! You didn't even took the retake."

"I asked to keep it as a secret."

"Yu An!"

I sigh. "Han Bin, take me away from here. I'm so tired of everything. I don't even want to go home."

He stares at me for a second and releases a breath. He stands and grabs his back. "Alright. Where would you want to go?"

I told Han Bin that I just want to go anywhere just so it was not my home and he brought me back to his house. It's been a while since I last came here. "Would you like something to drink Young Miss?"

"Anything would be great Mr. Yoon." I smile. Mr. Yoon is Han Bin's guardian. But I would just like to say that he's more of a butler to him. After all, Han Bin came from a well off family.

"Disconnect all the telephones Mr. Yoon. We won't be accepting any as long as Yu An's here." Han Bin says as he takes the glass of iced tea from Mr. Yoon.

"Understood."

"You don't have to go that far though."

"I will go that far because I want to. Just send a message to Hyung and let him know you're okay." He places the glass back on the sink after he finishes drinking. "Oh, and there are PJs at the guest room. Just help yourself okay?"

I nod. Sometimes I wonder if Han Bin's house is more of a hotel than a normal house. It has everything. I head to the room and threw myself on the bed. I'm glad I have Han Bin at times like this. I feel sleepy all of a sudden. Maybe I'll sleep for a while...

"Hey.. Yu An?" I hear a faint voice and I feel someone shaking me. I open my eyes and saw Han Bin. "That's a long nap." He smiles.

"I feel so tired.."

"I brought you dinner. Here."

I sit up and he places the food in front of me. "I'm sorry to trouble you like this."

"It's nothing."

He sits on the couch and turns the TV as I eat. He didn't change. "Han Bin."

"Hm?" He still doesn't face me and is focused on the show.

"Why are you not even asking?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I pause for a while and grip the spoon that I am holding. "....No actually."

He smiles but he doesn't look again. "Then I won't ask. I won't ask Yu An something that will make her uncomfortable."

I smile. He's always been like this since we're young. He doesn't ask when I'm going through something and he doesn't look whenever I cry. He always lets me lean on his back as I do. But even though he doesn't ask, he always make sure that he's always there for me whenever I needed him.

--

Joohyuk.

The next morning, I left early to be able to fetch Yu An at Han Bin's house. I don't know what's up with my sister that she's doing this but I am not mad at her. Every one of us has at least a rebellious stage in our lives. Dad threw a fit last night though.

My phone rings and it’s Han Bin. "Hey. I'm on my way-"

"HYUNG! HURRY TO THE HOSPITAL! YU AN TRIED TO KILL HERSELF THIS MORNING!"

I suddenly felt dizzy and there's a ringing sound everywhere. I don't know what to do. I'm just stuck with my position right now. "HYUNG?"

"What... What the hell are you... saying?"

"I'll explain everything when you get here. Just don't tell Auntie and Uncle yet."

I hang up and got on the bus and I hope that this will speed up as much as possible. I reached my stop and I ran as much as I can to the hospital. "H-HAN BIN! Where is she?!"

"Hyung!" I saw that the surgery light is on. Is it that bad that they have to bring her there? "She lost blood and they're stitching her up so-"

"Wait... what? Stitching? Loss of blood? What the hell happened?! Why did she tried to kill herself?!"

Han Bin sighs and tell me to sit down so I did. "Last night, Yu An woke up and went to my room. I asked her what's wrong because she's crying so hard. You know I don't ask her even if she's crying Hyung but I just have to when I saw her. She told me she can't take it anymore and it turns out, she told me that.."

"What?! Tell me! Don't pause on such an important point!"

"I happen to see the bruise on her upper arm. I asked where she got that and she told me that your father did."

"What?"
I don't know how to express what I am feeling right now. I'm full of rage and I hate that I don't even know this.

After a while, the doctor came out and informed us that she's fine. We followed them as they transfer Yu An to a room.

"They said they made a few stitches on her wrist huh?" I say and held Yu An's wrist covered in bandage. "It must be painful for her."

Han Bin didn't say anything. He's like that when he's worried. Yu An and I got used to that already. The door slams open and Mom and Dad enters.

"YU AN!"

"M..Mom? Dad.."

"YOU INSOLENT FOOL!" Dad rushes to me and hits me. I fell on the ground surprised. "How can you let your sister be like this?!"

If only he's not my father I may have already hit him back. It's true. He hurts Yu An and he's the reason why she's like this.

"Uncle! Please stop! It's not hyung's fault!"

Dad scoffs and faces Han Bin. I can still hear Mom cry as she hold Yu An. "That's right. It's not just his fault. It's yours too!"

He was about to hit him too when I grab his wrist. "Dad, don't do this here or else you'll ruin the reputation that you hold so precious." He twitches and lets Han Bin go.

"That's it! After Yu An wakes up we're moving away from here! You!" He points at Han Bin. "Never get close to my daughter again! Get out!"

I grab Han Bin and nod. "Let's go for now." I can see that he's full of rage because he knows that our Dad is the reason for all of this. "I'm sorry for that."

"Hyung! How can you stay so silent after that?! He did that to Yu An!"

"I know. But if I talk, he'll take me away from her. You might not know but, he's really something." I sigh. "I'll protect Yu An so just stay away from her for the meantime."

"Hyung-"

"I'm asking you a favor. I know how you feel about her and I do care about you too. I just can't have you get into this mess too."

"I'll be able to see her again right?"

"You will. I know it.