Chapter 8                              

Chanyeol.

She's sleeping so peacefully. I never realized that Yu An's going through this. The more that I get closer to her, the clearer she becomes to me. I watch her as she sleeps and I can still remember her voice being desperate. How painful everything it is for her.

I can't look at Baekhyun right now. He saw me kissed her. Though I just did that to stop Yu An.

“Baekhyun-“

“Let’s not talk about it. I know you did it for her sake. Just that.” He says as he stares at Yu An.

"Here. Have a drink."

"Thanks."

I took the glass of juice from Hyung and Baekhyun does the same.

"Thank you and sorry that you have to see this."

"Does this happen often?"

"Only when our Dad drinks."

"Hyung," I set the drink down and face him. "Yu An needs help."

"I know that. But I still don't have the money to have her checked. I can't tell Mom about this because I'm afraid she can't handle the situation. Her health is weak." He lets out a breath and leaned on the wall. "Say, care to listen for the story?"

I think he can tell that I'm really curious about Yu An that's why he asked.

"I think it started when she's eleven and I'm twelve. We're still staying in Jeonju. Our father's a government worker and he really got good connections back then. Obviously, we have to maintain our image, our family image to be specific for him to have an image for the public. Our everyday cycle was going to school and then having our tutorial afterwards."

"That's tiring." Baekhyun says and I agree though.

"Yeah. And then I got my sport so Yu An's schedule got different from mine. She's not used to talking to people so she has no friends. Everyone has a motive for her whenever they approach her. When they got what they need, they leave her. But then she met this person who's the same as her and he approached her. He's an extrovert and Yu An's introverted so they got close. He's a good guy and I think he liked Yu An too." He chuckles and I don't know why but I don't want to listen to this story anymore. "But you know, my sister's really dense when it comes to the topic."

Yeah, tell me about it. She's too dense to notice Baekhyun's feelings.

"And then, our father suddenly changed. I guess it's true when they say the more higher your position becomes, the higher the chances that greed will eat you up. Dad became so easily bothered whenever our rank goes down. The first time he hurt Yu An is when her friend got the first place on their grade. False rumors spread that Yu An might actually be not that smart or or Dad's only paying her teachers just for her to be the first one on her grade but that's not the case. I know my sister. She got tired of the same routine and she can't find the reason why she has to do it which is why she got so unmotivated."

"Because of my afternoon training, she got left alone in the house with her tutor and Dad usually arrives earlier than Mom and me. I just discovered that Dad hurt her is when I saw the bruises that she has on her arm and noticed that she shakes whenever she sees him. He's also the reason why Yu An has to avoid her friend. Her first actual friend and she lost him." He chuckles bitterly but I know there's anger within that. "And actually, this injury, it's Dad who gave it to me."

I don't know what to say because what I am hearing right now makes me want to kill their father. I don't even know of he even deserves to be called one.

"And her falling asleep, she does that unconsciously. Whenever she's having a hard time, she falls asleep. I think sleeping makes her forget everything for a while."

Just as I thought. Her sleeping not normal. I clench my fist. I can't let someone die again just because she can't reach out for help. "I know someone. She can help Yu An and I can go with her if you want. As for the money, I'm sure she'll understand. I'll talk to her so, you can ask Yu An."

"Chanyeol." Baekhyun looks at me and I know what he's thinking. I nod to let him know that it's okay.

He chuckles. "You're a good kid aren't you?"

"You're no different. You're just one year older than us. Not much age difference."

He laughs picking up the glasses that we used and head for the door. "Thanks again. For being there and for listening Chanyeol, Baekhyun."

--

Yu An.

I open my eyes and I think I'm still dreaming. Chanyeol's in my room. I don't think I can even face him right now with what happened earlier. I gasp when his eyes caught mine and I cleared my throat. I'm trying to be as confident as possible but he's making it hard for me when he's inside my room.

"You're awake?"

"M..Mm. You're still here? Where's Baekhyun? I thought you left."

"Can't." He walks closer and sat on the side of my bed. He reaches his hand and flicks my forehead. "Don't ever think of dying or I'll be the one who'll kill you. Also, I did that to shut you up. Nothing else."

"Did what?"

"Y.. You know. This." His fingers touched his lips and I immediately flushed.

"O..oh." It seems like he's making things too clear. Is it because he already likes someone and doesn't want to be burdened?

I look at him and he's staring back at me. We're not saying anything. My heart's acting up again and I can hear it. It's loud and clear to me. I really like him. It's different from how my heart reacts when it's Baekhyun.

"I like you." I am praying that I didn't think out loud just now because he's looking at me surprised. But I think I just did.

"Can we pretend that you didn't say anything just now?" He stands and he's leaving. "See you tomorrow then."

He definitely heard me.

I have to concentrate. I can't let things go wild again and I have no time for that. Exams are approaching and that's my outmost priority. Yeon Hee and the others agreed that we study together for the exams since after school practice will be cancelled for a while so everyone can concentrate on the exams.

Chanyeol was actually deflated by the thought that he can't run for a while. I mean he really loves running. Speaking of which, ever since what happened, he really is acting like nothing happened. Like the incident in my room never happened and he's good at that.

"Oh, I have to get something. I'll be back."

"Mm." They are really busy as they work on their studying mode. I smile and walk on the shelves to get the book that I need.

"Ah, there it is."

I tiptoe trying to get the book that I need but goodness I'm so small. I desperately need that or else I will be stuck on studying the same topic. I tried to hop and I'm almost there but still I can't get the book out of the damn shelf. I know this is a rude manner of getting books but I stand on the lower shelf to elevate myself and that's it. I touched the end of it. When I was about to get it, another person grabbed the book away from me so easily. I turn and I think my whole world sank.

"You could've asked for help you know?"

I grab the book away from Chanyeol and walked away but I forgot my gratitude. "Thanks." I say and walk back to the table. I think my cheeks are getting hot and I can't control my heartbeat right now.

"Yu An-"

"St..Stop being nice to me. If you don't, I will continue to have a hard time to pretend that I didn't say anything."

I say and walked ahead back. I placed the book on the table and bit my lip. He's being nice to me again and I just keep on falling even more to him. This is so unfair.

It's now the day of the midterms and different from the usual routine, almost all of them are cramming to study the rest our lessons at the last minute. The door opens and a lot of them gasped like our teacher just represented the grim reaper giving us our last sentence. Do or die. It's like that.

The test have been distributed and we're taking English first. So far so good. I studies everything so far. I glanced at the others and they seem to be doing well too. I guess studying together was really effective for us.

"Last ten minutes."

Time passed quickly and we finished our first exam. Yeon Hee faces me and grabs both of my hands. "How did it go?"

I smile. "So far so good I guess."

"As expected. I almost lost it at the end."

"I'm sure you did well though."

"Thanks. That was very comforting."

I chuckle. Our teacher said that she'll be distributing our next test which will be science. I glance at the blackboard. Two more tests for today and I think I'm starting to feel tired already.

"Winter ball?" I looked at the poster that I saw on the bulletin board.

"Oh that. You just transferred I forgot. Our school usually hold a ball every winter before we have out break. It's usually a week after the exams. At the morning, every classroom transforms to different shops and we can all enjoy it. And by night there will be a fireplace at the field and the ball will be held there! The romantic touch is that all of the girls and boys will be dancing around the fireplace and they say that the last person that you'll dance with is your fate!"

"Fate huh?"

I guess that's a thing to look forward to when the exams are over tomorrow. I bet the Winter ball will be really fun!

"Yu An!" Baekhyun and Chanyeol arrives. "Oh? That's right the winter ball is approaching! I hope I get to dance with you last Yu An."

I flush at Baekhyun's remark. I'm still embarrassed whenever he sad such things. "Oh, an open attack from Baekhyun~ how will Nam Yu An react?"

"Yeon Hee, aren't you supposed to go to the student council meeting at lunch time?" Chanyeol says.

"OH SHOOT! Thanks for that Channie~" she hands me her books and runs. "I'll see you guys at the usual place then! I'll be back!"

This is what's twisted with my fate. I am always left alone with these two. Baekhyun who likes me and Chanyeol who I like but doesn't like me back. How will I ever act normal again whenever I'm with them when my heart is reacting to them both?

"Why is he here? I thought we're going to the doctor?"

"Yeah because he knows the doctor."

Chanyeol stares and seat on the counter chair as my brother makes our breakfast. I sigh in defeat and sat next to him.

"Why do you know a psychologist?" I ask and take a sip on my hot choco.

"Is that important?"

"Yes."

He stops for a while to think then looks at me. "I knew her because someone important to me had sessions with her. She's good if you're worried about that."

Someone important huh?

After breakfast we headed to the hospital and met the doctor that Chanyeol knows. This is very strange to me and I don't know what to feel. I'm at a psychologist's clinic and I don't know what to feel. I am opening up to a stranger for the first time. I'm afraid but I do want to change myself that's why I'm giving this a shot.

"Oh, Chanyeol long time no see!"

"Yes Dr. Jung. This is the friend that I'm telling you about."

"Yes, yes! Nice to meet you dear. I'm Jung Shin Hee. Let's get along shall we?"

"Yes, nice to meet you Dr. Jung. I'm Nam Yu An."

I shake her hand and she smiles as she holds mine. I'm being too conscious about everything because I feel that she's watching and observing my every move.

"Shall we seat down?" I nod.

"Chanyeol, I want to have a chat with you after I chat with Yu An okay? Just wait for us outside."

"Okay." Chanyeol looks at me before he leaves and I smiled. He nods and walked through the door.

"So, are you both dating?"

"Uh, no." I chuckle.

"Really? It's the first time that I saw Chanyeol asked me a favor though. Not for anyone. Well Baekhyun's an exception." I laugh because she's so right in so many ways. "I'm glad you laughed. It seems that you haven't laughed for a while."

I look at her and she's very entertaining and kind. She makes me feel the warm aura around her. "I guess. I just smile but I don't laugh a lot."

"Tell me about yourself Yu An." She's looking at me with so much intent right now but I don't feel intimidated.

"Um.. I guess I'm a kind of girl who loves to read and write?" I chuckle. "I'm sorry I don't really know how to describe myself."

She nods. "Relax honey this is not graded."

"So Chanyeol told you?"

"Yes he did but we both know that it's not enough right? We have to make you better."

"Yes."

"So I'll be straight. Yu An, what exactly happened to you?"​​​​​​​