Chapter 15                          

2 months later.

Yu An.

“I’ll go ahead and go to the hospital then.”

“Alright. Careful on your way!”

I nod and headed to the station. Ever since the day of the match, Chanyeol haven’t talked to me again. He’s been avoiding me. Baekhyun has taken the surgery and he’s required to be an in-patient for two months. He’s already on his second month.

I knock and head inside his room after I arrived. “Baekhyun? I brought some... pears.”

I met eyes with Chanyeol and he’s shocked as I am. He stands and takes his bag.

“You’re leaving already?” Baekhyun says.

“Mm. See you tomorrow.”

I grip on the plastic that I’m holding. I become tense whenever he’s close. I want to know why he started acting cold towards me again but I can’t. I try so many times and failed in attempt. I decided to give up and be a nice girlfriend to Baekhyun now. But I feel like I’m lacking something now that we’re both apart like this.

I hear the door shut and I flinch at the sound. “Yu An?”

“O..Oh. I brought some pears. You like them right?”

“Mm. Place them here. Let’s peel them together!”

“Alright.” I smile and sat beside him. I grab a paper plate and a knife and placed them on the table. Baekhyun takes the other knife and we both grab pears to peal.

“Say Yu An? Did something happen between you two?” My hand slipped through the pear and I cut my finger. “Are you okay?! You’re bleeding.”

“Yes. I’m fine. It’s just a scratch.” I chuckle and grabbed some tissue to stop the bleeding.

“Something happened after all huh?”

“It’s nothing. We’re just back as we usually are. He’s normally like that right?”

“He’s not normal that way. He doesn’t avoid you. He stares at you and smiles.”

I removed the tissue from my hand and placed band-aid on my finger. “You should stop talking like that. I’m your girlfriend now right?”

“You’re right.” He smiles. “Now that you mentioned that,” he moves to his side and pats the space that he made. “Come here.”

I flush. “That’s for patients.”

“And the patient needed his girlfriend. Now come here.” He grabs me by my hand and forced me to climb on bed with him.

“I think you’re well enough to be able to grab me like that.”

He chuckles and hugs me. “I missed you.”

I laugh. “I just came here yesterday.”

“That’s twelve hours without you.”

“You should stop being clingy.”

“You didn’t miss me?”

“I do.”

He smiles and hugs me tighter. I don’t know why but I still feel empty inside. Baekhyun’s this close and my heart is reacting in his touch. But why is it so empty?

“I love you.” I flinch. He looks at me and smiles. “Still not replying to that huh?”

I look down. “I’m sorry.”

He holds my cheek and makes me look at him. “I know. I know you still like him. It’s not easy to forget.”

“I’m really sorry.”

I know I shouldn’t be crying like this. But this is so hard. I thought I’ll be able to not like Chanyeol if I avoid him but it’s the opposite. I told myself to like Baekhyun now but it’s not going well.

Baekhyun holds my chin and kisses me but I don’t feel anything. His forehead is on mine and stops. “Kiss me back.” He whispers.

“Baekhyun..”

“Please kiss me back.”

And I did. But I still feel empty. I can’t feel like this.

I have to love Baekhyun.

And I can’t miss Chanyeol.

--

For this weekend, the track-and-field team will be going for a three day training camp. I’m excited about it because this will be the first time I’ve been going on a trip with everyone.

“Whoa! The villa’s big!”

“You’re right! Thank you for this Yu An! Your dad’s really big time!”

I smile. “It’s nothing. It’s his friend’s villa and it’s not regularly used so he said that we can use it for this.”

Don’t get our Dad wrong. He’s really a nice person and completely acts different only if he drinks. He’s usually checking up on us and he found out that I’m going on a training camp and he offered the villa for us. I guess he’s not drinking lately. Everything must be going well for him.

“Here are the room assignments. I’ve checked it out already.” Yeon Hee hands out the list.

“Eh?! Why do we have to share with three people?”

“Then would you care to share a room with us then Joohyung?”

He blushes and looked away. “I understand.”

I chuckle and picked my things up to our room. I place them on the bed and scanned the place.

“It’s nice here. Too bad Baekhyun can’t come. He can’t leave until tomorrow.”

I run to the veranda and look at the view. It’s very breath taking. My body tenses up again seeing the person beside our room. It’s Chanyeol. I gasped when I met eyes with him but he doesn’t look away like he usually does. Instead he stares.

And it hurts.

I went back inside our room and sat on the bed.

It still hurts.

“Yu An?”

“O..Oh, Yeon Hee.”

“Your phone’s ringing.”

“Huh? Oh yeah.” I grab my phone and answered it. “Hello?”

“Good Morning.” I gasp and look at my phone again.

“B..Baekhyun?”

“Mm. Why are you so surprised?”

“I..It’s nothing.” Why am I surprised? I don’t even know what’s going on with me anymore. “What’s up?”

“I just want to ask if you’re all having fun while I’m stuck here alone.”

I chuckle. “Mm. We’re just starting the fun.” I tease. “Sorry I won’t be able to go there today. But I will be there tomorrow when you leave.”

He laughs. “No need to do that. I’ll see you later.”

“Alr- wait what?” Before I can say more he hangs up. “Did he just say later?”

“Is it Baekhyun?” Yeon Hee asks. She’s taking all her clothes out of her luggage.

“Mm.”

She smiles. “You’re both really being a couple now huh?”

“I guess.”

A couple huh? I finally heard someone tell me that we look like that, but why do I still not feel complete? I still feel a lot empty.

“Yeon Hee! Yu An! We’re starting so go down soon!”

“Yes!” We both replied.

--

Yeon Hee.

I stare at Chanyeol and Yu An from afar while evaluating the other members. I sigh. Those two are getting worse day by day.

“He’s going through it again.”

“Sunbae.” Our captain, Yoochun sunbae appears as he looks at Chanyeol.

“He’s at his wall again. He just get worse and worse each day.”

“Again? You mean it happened to him before.”

“Yeah. Didn’t you know about his sister?”

My eyes widen in shock. “He has a sister?”

“I understand why he hasn’t told you guys. That topic is his weakness. It made him stop running for a year. And this time,” he points at Yu An. “I think it’s Yu An. He has to overcome this or he might stop running forever this time.”

“I think that’s exaggerating.”

He chuckles. “You don’t know him enough.” He replied and grabs the chart that I am holding.

“What are you-“

“Yu An!” He calls.

Yu An turns after evaluating the member and runs to our place. “Yes sunbae?”

“Do this for me. That’s the last for your part right?”

“Yes. I just finished.”

“Then I’ll leave this to you. I’ll be borrowing Yeon Hee for a bit.”

“Oka-“ Yu An flinched after reading the list. I know why because that’s my list to begin with and I know what Sunbae is up to. For Chanyeol to overcome his wall.

“It’s okay Yu An. I’ll do it. You go with Sunba-“

“Not going to work. Let’s go.” He says pulling me.

“But-“

“I’ll leave that to you then Yu!”

--

Yu An.

What do I do? Chanyeol’s the next person to be evaluated and we haven’t talked ever since. But this should be okay right? We’re only talking because of the club activity. Yes, that should be fine..

I am not fine.

Not at all.

It hurts just to be near him. And me talking with him will hurt more.

I inhale the courage that I can inhale and called out his name. “C..Chanyeol!”

I don’t open my eyes yet because I know he won’t look. He just won’t look at me anymore. Not with those gentle eyes that he used to look at me at.

“It’s my turn now right?”

“H..Huh?” He’s here. Right in front of me. He looked. “O..Oh! Y..Yeah. Um, your last record is-“

“19 seconds.” He cuts.

“Y..Yeah.” We’re having a conversation. A cold conversation.

“I’m starting.”

“Mm. 3, 2, 1!” And he runs. I stare at the timer just when it reaches thirteen and I hear his footsteps approaching. “Oh?”

I stop the timer and stare. He’s running well again! “Chanyeol! Look!”

He looks back catching his breath and smiles. “Thirteen.”

“Mm! Your last was nineteen! You did it!” I chuckle.

He smiles warmly and pats my head. “Mm. Thanks.”

He said and walked away. He just smiled again. At me. My vision gets blurry and blurry.

I’m too happy.

“Oh? We’re out of soda?! YOU GUYS! I told you all that we will be only drinking soda for dinner damn it!!!” Yeon Hee enraged.

“Oh, I thought we will be having another set at dinner..” Sunbae says.

“Damn you sunbae! Even if you’re older I don’t think I’ll be able to respect you anymore! It feels like I’m the captain of this team!!” I chuckle. Yeon Hee’s being practical again. “Geez! Go out and buy another set for dinner!”

“Me? Just me?! But that’s a lot!”

“I’ll go with you sunbae.” I say.

“Geez Yu An, you shouldn’t be kind to this person.”

I smile. “Well we won’t be able to eat with the sodas just in time for dinner if Yoochun sunbae will be alone buying it right?”

Yeon Hee sighs in defeat. “Fine. But if something happens to Yu An, I’ll bury you alive sunbae.”

“Alright, alright!” Sunbae and I headed out for the convenience store. “Geez, that girl. She’s always too hard on me!”

I laugh. “She’s just being practical. She’s a manager after all. And besides, you asked us to be temporary ones right?”

He sighs in defeat. “You’re right. Why are you always right anyway?” I chuckle. His phone rings and he answered it. “Yu An, is it okay if you go ahead at the convenience store? I’ll just take this call. I’ll be there after this.”

“Mm. Okay.”

I walked ahead to the store and headed to the beverages section after getting baskets to fill on the soda’s with. “I think eight bottles should be enough.”

I say and loaded the baskets with for bottles each. I push the baskets to the counter because they’re too heavy. Good thing there aren’t any customers to see... me.

“Chan...yeol?” He stares but doesn’t talk. So we’re back at it again huh? Just when I thought we’re back to normal. I ignore him and placed the basket on the counter. The clerk does her work and I can’t cool down because of his presence in the other counter. “Will you be paying by card or cash?”

“Huh? O..Oh, cash.”

“Understood. Here’s the total amount.”

I nod and looked at the screen for the amount and fetched the money on my wallet. Chanyeol’s gone by the time I paid. I carried the sodas out of the store and waited for Sunbae when I saw Chanyeol standing outside the store.

“Do you plan on carrying all of that back?” His voice.. I’m hearing it again.

“S..Sunbae’s going to come. He told me to wait.”

“Oh.” He says but he just stands next to me.

“A..Aren’t you going to go back?”

“I’ll leave when he gets here. I can’t leave you here all alone.”

He’s making it hard for me again. I have to learn to look at Baekhyun and not at him. But hearing him worrying about me just makes things so hard.

“Yu An! Sorry for the wait!!” Sunbae appears. “Oh, you’re here! That’s good help her bring the sodas back-“

“Not a chance.” He grabs two plastics on my side and pushed it on sunbae. “Carry this. How can you make a girl wait for you? I’m leaving.”

Be quick.

Leave quick.

“Geez, everyone’s getting mad at me today! Hm? Yu An! Why are you crying?!”

“I’m not. It’s just the wind.” He left right? He won’t know that I’m crying. I can’t wipe the tears because of the plastic that I’m holding. This is just the worst.

“Yu-“

“Whoa there sunbae. You can’t touch someone else’s girl that easily.”

That voice?

I look up and, “B...Baekhyun?”

He turns and smiles. “Hello Yu An.” He says and looks back at sunbae. “I’ll carry those. You can go back now sunbae.”

“Are you sure? Yu An seems-“

“She’ll be fine.”

“Alright then..”

This is the worst. Baekhyun even saw me crying. I gasp. “S..Since when are you-“

I felt his warmth with his hug. His hugging me tight and it made me cry harder. “There there.”

“I’m sorry..”

He pulls away and holds my cheek staring at me. “I told you not to say that anymore.”

I shake my head. “I have to. I can’t do anything to make Baekhyun happy... I know you’ve seen that.. I’m sorry.. I told myself not to look and care for him but..”

“It’s alright.” Why is his voice so soothing? He’s so kind. He doesn’t deserve someone like me. “I love you Yu An.”

I flinch again. Those words now hold a different meaning for us. For him, that means in my eyes, I only have you. But for me that means, stop looking at him and look at me.