CHAPTER FIVE

awake at night

The hardest part of starting any artwork was deciding what to draw.

Kyungsoo had been assigned, as the rest of his art class to draw a single portrait and submit it the following week. He began googling for people he would be interested in drawing; celebrities mostly. This was his chance to show his potential and earn recognition. He had to make sure he did not make a single mistake. Of course, that would be rather impossible, but he did need to amaze his teacher at least.

He leaned his chin against his hand, a pencil in the other and an empty page from his sketchbook looking up at him as blankly as he was staring down at it. He looked down at his phone, then placing his fingers on his desk and clicking his nails against the surface. Drawing celebrities were getting more and more boring for him; he wanted to draw something that had some sort of meaning to him. Something that had a higher sentimental value. Something that could...remind him of something.

His crush from his previous high school? He barely had any decent photos of her except for her yearbook photo. Besides, the crush he had was barely serious and he had forgotten her as quickly as how he left home to come here. 

Beautiful.

What did he consider beautiful? The sky? Snow? Stars? Flowers?

Rei.

He sat upwards in a jolt.

Now there was someone he could consider. Earlier, Chanyeol had drove them to a small hilly area where they stopped at the side of the road overlooking the city of Busan and its coastal area. The city below slept with few lights on and silence, and the uncasing movements of the sea farther out into the horizon, harmonized with it. Baekhyun brought out a portable lamp and placed it in the centre where everyone had form a sort of circle. Chanyeol kept the radio in the car switched on. Baekhyun had also been the one who had counted the money they earned in total. They had all laughed in joy, and Kyungsoo half expected there to be some kind of celebration, but there was not.

Sehun took out one bag of food and drinks they had bought from a convenience store and passed around everyone’s share. For a good hour, that was how the night went. Small talk was shared, chips were passed around. Kyungsoo, of course, could not keep his eyes off Rei.

She had wiped off her makeup in the car on their way there; feeling unadjusted to having it on all the time and uncomfortable. Kyungsoo kept on rewinding when Jongin told him that she was just sixteen, and with the makeup off it was more believable. She sat next to Sehun, clutching her arms close to her waist and politely refusing the food he kept offering her, and instead only held on to a mere bottle of mineral water.  Her face was pale, as so was her lips that Kyungsoo thought she was feeling unwell. But she assured him, although not verbally, by laughing and smiling along to Sehun’s jokes and Baekhyun’s stories. It was then Kyungsoo got to know a bit more about the circle.

Baekhyun was a part-time model, or trying to be. He had done several photoshoots and was working to get a contract with a modelling agency. He grabs at every chance he got to attend auditions, travelling back and forth to Seoul usually, since a lot of agencies who scout models often hold auditions there. He is not that serious of a student, but Chanyeol constantly keeps him grounded, saying that if this does not work out, then maybe passing exams could get him somewhere.

Of course, Chanyeol emitted the stereotypical behaviour of a student in administrative position. Leaderly, stern and kind, Kyungsoo could read well that he was realistic, complimenting, or perhaps even contrasting that of Baekhyun's constant daydreams. He seemed to be very attentive to Baekhyun, maybe especially so, but Kyungsoo believed it was because Baekhyun was always the one talking and complaining. Baekhyun talks, Chanyeol listens, Sehun laughs, and Rei...she quietly observes.

Kyungsoo randomly guessed that Sehun would be a very average teenage boy who goes to class, eats, then sleeps. He looked oblivious at times, despite the fact Sehun was pretty responsive. 'How long have you guys been doing this?' Kyungsoo asked.

'This drug business? A year?' Chanyeol tried to remember. 'Back when we were freshmen we started with cigarettes though,' he shrugged. 'That was the easiest to get,'

'Don't tell anyone,' Baekhyun pointed a warning finger at Kyungsoo, although the latter barely felt threatened. But he gave him his word anyway.

'And you've never gotten caught?' he was amazed at the caution they took.

'Not yet,' Chanyeol gave a sly smile.

'If we ever do get in trouble we could always get Sehun to run off with our stock,' Baekhyun laughed. 'He's so fast, even a cop car couldn't catch him.'

Sehun shook his head, laughing in embarrassment.

'He's so fast, he'll be gone before they even start looking for us.' Chanyeol added.an 

'Or Rei could swim off with it,' Sehun turned to the only girl in the group then. Rei gave an amused smile.

'She'll cross an entire ocean. Imagine going missing and it turns out she's been hiding in the sea.' Baekhyun's eyes turned wide.

'Mermaid,'

'Quick, throw water on her!' Baekhyun made a convincing gesture and Rei actually laughed.

'You swim?' Kyungsoo asked her.

'Sometimes, when I have nothing better to do.'

'I don't get why you're not on the swimming team,' Sehun tightened his brows. Rei merely shrugged, either not knowing the reason herself or choosing not to dive further into the topic, and Kyungsoo feels as if it is the latter.

Kyungsoo got up at one point to take a picture of the view of Busan with his phone; a habit he picked up as an artist. Only then did he think of sneakily taking pictures of Rei. He hoped she did not notice. Those candid pictures of her were beautiful.

His rerun of what happened that night that played in his head was disrupted by three knocks on the door and an immediate opening of the door after. ‘Hey,’ Jongin greeted him without much excitement in his voice and entered, closing the door behind him. Kyungsoo exited the gallery on his phone to avoid being caught of two thing: looking at pictures of Rei and taking pictures of Rei.

‘Hey,’ he called back. ‘What’s up?’

'Chanyeol and Baekhyun are using the room,’ Jongin answered, pulling his jacket off. Upon seeing Kyungsoo's confused expression he paused. ‘You know,’ he said in a subtle manner.

Kyungsoo’s face barely changed.

‘Y-You don’t…know?’ he asked again.

‘Know what?’

‘They’re together,’ Jongin casually said as if it was the most normal thing in the whole wide world. He walked over to Chanyeol’s bedside and pulled out a can of Coke sitting underneath his bed. ‘Did you really think he’s always there because of group projects?’ there was a teasing look about Jongin’s face as he sat on Chanyeol’s bed.

‘N-Not really,’ Kyungsoo tore his gaze away. ‘I just thought they were really close friends,’ he said, and he was honest about it. He did notice how close they were, how extra caring Chanyeol was towards Baekhyun and how Baekhyun often looked at Chanyeol when telling jokes; to which Chanyeol would often dismiss with an unamused look. But it never did strike to him that they were dating. Either away, when Kyungsoo thought about it, they did somehow suit each other. Chanyeol was almost always serious, although not exactly moody. Baekhyun was playful and sometimes reckless.

‘You’re not really exposed to this, are you?’ he grinned, putting the can back under the bed and lying down.

‘I’ve-‘ he did not want to offend anyone. He never really gave a thought about guys who did not like girls and vice versa. ‘-never known anyone who were-‘ he tried to complete his sentence.

‘Not straight?’

‘Yeah,’ he nodded awkwardly.

‘Are you Christian?’ Jongin asked. Kyungsoo felt more and more trapped.

‘I guess?’ he shrugged.

Jongin merely nodded, then took out his phone. ‘Do they teach you that gays are bad?’ he asked.

‘I don’t really pay attention, to be honest.’ Kyungsoo was not proud to say it, seeing as his mother always looked forward to going to church on Sundays, but he could not care less. ‘I mean people are just…people I guess?’

Kyungsoo was curious to Jongin’s reaction, wondering whether he had rubbed off on his bad side or not. He would hate to, seeing as Jongin was a pretty cool person and he was going to be stuck with him for a while if he planned on staying friends with his friends. Jongin, however, did not hint on anything, leaving Kyungsoo clueless.

‘So what do you think?’ Jongin did not turn his head.

‘About what?’ Kyungsoo was appearing more and more dense and he could feel Jongin judging him.

‘Tonight. You’ve never done this kind of thing, right?’

What do I think about selling drugs? Besides being overwhelmed and scared of doing something illegal and ending up getting caught by the authorities?

‘Hey, no pressure. You can still hang out with us even if you don’t want to sell or get into all this . It’s cool. Just don’t stab us in the back,’

‘Of course not,’ Kyungsoo snickered a fearful laugh. ‘You guys are pretty cool to hang out with.’

Jongin shot him a look. ‘Did you talk to her?’                                                                             

Kyungsoo knew who he was talking about and felt his face flush red and heat up, but he tried his best to maintain being calm. ‘Not really. She’s pretty quiet.’

‘You mean damn quiet,’ Jongin laughed. ‘But you’re in the same grade as her, aren’t you? Try asking her about history or something.’

Kyungsoo felt his heart throb inside, and found himself blurting out loud. ‘What is she like?’

‘She-‘ Jongin paused, taking a while to put thoughts into words. He was not an observer, and barely knew how to describe anybody, not even himself. ‘-she’s cool,’ he ended up saying. ‘You just need to start the conversation,’

As always, Kyungsoo thought to himself. He began working on a draft by himself while listening to music, leaving Jongin to do whatever it is he was doing. It took him two hours to finish his first draft, and he was barely satisfied with the results.  Rei’s nose did not look as high-bridged as it did in the photo, and something looked off with her chin. Kyungsoo tossed his pencil on the desk and leaned back in his chair, hanging his head over the top edge of the chair.

He turned to Jongin, and found the other asleep facing his direction.

Kyungsoo suddenly stopped, and stared

For some reason something about Jongin appealed to Kyungsoo. Maybe it was the peace on his sleeping face, or the colour of his skin. But at that moment, Kyungsoo turned his chair quietly and picked up his sketchbook and pencil. Art was sleeping in front of his eyes.

He did not want to miss a single moment.

*

Jongyeon could not focus in class.

She found herself constantly looking down at her watch, waiting for the clock to strike 4. The moment the bell rang, she picked up her bag and left the school. Her shift was going to start at 5 and she was in no mood to stop by anywhere or be delayed. Her shift seemed to drag on, despite the fact that many customers came to the café where she worked at. She had no time to for a break, and went on working with her stomach growling.

By the time it was 9, she spotted him. He walked in through the door casually, heading towards the counter. He had ginger hair, light green, almost blue eyes and freckles on his face. His cheeks were slightly hollow

He was wearing a long coat and scarf over what she assumed was his work clothes. He looked awfully good, even if he had been in the same clothes ever since the morning, and she could see the tint of flushed colour on his face – the kind that appears after a long day. He pulled off his gloves and unwrapped his scarf, glancing once at the menu. Jongyeon knew what he was going to order.

‘Chamomile tea,’ he said to the cashier at the counter. He glanced at Jongyeon as he waited to pay, and gave a respectful smile. Jongin smiled back, then made his drink before watching him take a seat at his favourite spot by the window, on a single couch by a circle wooden coffee table.

‘You fancy him, don’t you?’ the girl who worked at the counter nudged Jongyeon playfully by the arm. Jongyeon only snorted and looked at him again. He seemed lonely; he never came with anyone, let alone a girl.

‘He has a nice face,’ Jongyeon said.

‘And a nice personality too,’ the cashier said with a slight blush on her cheeks.

They all have nice personalities when you first get to know them, she thought. And then they prove you otherwise. She went back into the kitchen. Her shift was going to end at 10; she had to get ready and tidy up what needs to be tidied up. Her day was not done just yet. After work, she still had one more place to be.

At 10.30, Jongyeon began mopping the floor and arranging the chairs and tables, wondering if it really took a person that long to drink tea at night. But she ignored him, and continued working. By 10.45, at last, she saw the man stand up from his seat and slip his phone into his coat pocket. Jongyeon was by the door, turning the ‘Open’ sign on the door. ‘Thank you, please come again.’ She said to the man and held the door open for him.

He gave a light nod, then Jongyeon felt his hand brush against hers as he skid past her. Jongyeon felt something slip to the floor from her fingers, then glanced down to see several Won bills on the ground. She picked it up, then looked back out where he was getting into his Volkswagen. He met eyes with her again and another last smile before he drove off.

Jongyeon gave a confused look.

He had just given her 20,000 Won.

She sighed, then walked over to the counter, dropping the bill into the jar of tips.

She did not want it. She would hate herself to the guts if she took it.