CHAPTER ELEVEN

finding answers

‘Are we doing the right thing?’ Soojung hesitated in front of the mirror as she fixed her ginger locks. She looked at Rei, who was sitting at the desk, ready and waiting. Rei studied her face. She was blatantly anxious, and maybe even slightly afraid.

‘We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,’ she replied. ‘We can go somewhere else,’

Soojung sighed. Rei stood up and walked over to her. ‘Am I invading Jongin’s privacy?’

‘You were close to her too, weren’t you?’ Rei asked. Soojung lowered her head, crossing her arms.

‘I want to know what happened to her,’ she shrugged. ‘It’s just so odd and-‘ she inhaled. ‘-confusing. She’s my friend.’

‘Then we’ll go however far you can,’ Rei took her by the hands. ‘Don’t be scared, yeah?’ she smiled. Something about the way Rei talked made her feel safe. Maybe it was her humble confidence or the absence of fear in her entire being. Soojung knew she could never do this alone, and knowing Rei was behind to help her in any way she could made her feel like she was doing the right thing, and she hoped it was.

Rei and Soojung used the easiest transport they could access: the public bus. Soojung seemed distraught throughout the short trip, looking out of the window into the sunlight-bathed streets of the city. ‘So how’s Jongin?’ Rei asked. Soojung snapped out of her trance.

‘Not too well,’ she answered honestly. ‘But trying to be,’

‘Were they close?’

Soojung gave it a thought. ‘In an odd way,’ she nodded. ‘They were-‘ she sighed. ‘-emotionally suppressed.’ She described. ‘But you can tell he loved her more than anyone else, somehow.’

Soojung have observed them enough; knowing Jongin and Jongyeon’s relationship were far from warm. It was awkward sometimes just being there with them. Sometimes she wondered what happened, when did they stop talking? Or perhaps, were they even close to begin with? But she learned to look at each one to understand, at how Jongin was determined to work during his senior year, and how Jongyeon had followed in his footsteps; pretending to ignore his cold advice when she stayed up nights just so Ms Yoon could show Jongin her report card.

‘You know, Jongin had this thing with his sister that they don’t celebrate birthdays. But last year he panicked for days trying to figure out what he wanted to get her.’ There was faint remorse in Soojung’s smile. ‘He got her a dress for her winter dance, and asked her if she liked it. Jongyeon said that she didn’t, but she wore it anyway. Talk about complicated,’

Rei found herself smiling too. Jongin had never been the type who expressed much about his personal life, but she knew there was something in his silence. It was obvious in the way he tries to look out for every one of them, including her.

The café where Kim Jongyeon supposedly worked in was a warm-looking, furbished shop that looked like it had a home-like glow from the outside. Soojung entered with slight hesitation, and walked straight to the counter to order drinks. ‘What would you like?’ she asked Rei.

‘Hot tea is fine,’ she nodded, pulling the opening of her long-coat over her body.

‘Not a coffee drinker?’

‘Only when I’m staying up,’ Rei smiled.

‘One latte and one hot tea, please.’ Soojung conveyed the order to a female cashier. Rei noticed the cashier looking rather surprised for a split second upon looking at Soojung. She found it rather odd, but kept quiet.

‘Just drinks?’ the cashier grinned a friendly grin.

‘Yes,’ Soojung confirmed, then caught the sight of an employee passing behind the cashier. ‘Actually-‘ she stopped the cashier. ‘Could you give me one of that as well? One slice,’ she pointed to one of the cakes sitting idly in the glass case.

‘Classic cheesecake?’ the cashier asked.

‘Yes,’ Soojung nodded, then paid. Rei watched her senior. Soojung’s order had been random and out of the blue, and Soojung did not take her eyes off the employee who caught her eye. It was a boy, about their own age, with dirty blonde hair and a forced smile on his face as he walked about the café, delivering people’s orders and not getting an ounce of rest.

They found a table by the window and sat down after paying.

‘Who’s he?’ Rei asked. Soojung did not grasp who she was referring to until she tilted her head subtly at the waiter.

‘Jongyeon’s ex-boyfriend,’ she said. The boy appeared soon enough delivering the cake that Soojung had ordered. Rei waited for Soojung to do whatever it is she had in her mind, for she saw that she was distracted by it. ‘Where’s the other waitress?’ she asked. The boy, who had put up a genuine smile, looked back at Soojung with a rather clueless look.

‘Waitress?’ he asked. He had kind of eyes that looked dull in tone, but still pretty somehow.

‘Yeah, the er-‘ Soojung glanced quickly at Rei before looking back at the boy. ‘-the tall, skinny one? Black hair?’

‘I don’t know who you’re talking about,’ he said, swallowing nervously. ‘Do you need anything else?’

‘I heard that she died,’ Soojung insisted. ‘Is that true, Doyoon?’ she asked. The boy’s smile waded upon hearing his own name. ‘Yu Doyoon?’

‘Who are you?’ he asked, his anxiousness apparent.

‘Depends. Can we talk about Jongyeon?’ she proposed. Doyoon gave Soojung a hard glare, one that was persisting. ‘I heard you were the last to see her alive,’ she pushed on further. Doyoon’s face turned slightly red.

Doyoon looked around him in caution. ‘Come to the back in 10 minutes,’ he said before leaving to do other work. Soojung looked back at Rei then raised her eyebrows.

‘Cheesecake?’ she offered.

‘You’re good,’ Rei praised her. Soojung tried to hide a shy smile. It was all thanks to her desperate determination. She did not know what had come over her, and had barely any idea what she wanted to do or say to him. It was a relief that Rei followed at all, Soojung was afraid she would lose to her emotions.

They both proceeded to the back of the café as Doyoon had instructed, and found him in a small alley like space outside, smoking a cigarette. He had a grim look on his face, an expression that was more believable to both the girls. Soojung had the same intolerant look on her face. ‘You know Jongyeon?’ he asked, not sparing them a glance.

‘Pretty well,’ Soojung answered, crossing her arms from the cold.

‘So what are you here for?’ he asked.

‘To figure out what happened to her,’

‘Ever thought of asking the police?’

‘They’re not making much of a progress either,’

‘So you’re here because I know her?

Soojung started walking towards the boy. ‘I’m here because you screwed her up when you were around,’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ he felt provoked, and stood up against her too.

‘You ed up her life when you showed up, did you know that?’ she said insultingly.

‘I didn’t kill her!’

‘Guys,’ Rei called out loud. They contested a glare at each other, before Soojung walked away, refusing to give in to her anger. ‘We just want to know if she was up to anything, that’s all. We know how…difficult she can be.’ Rei said, at the expense of Soojung looking at her weirdly.

Doyoon ran a hand through his hair before sighing. ‘Jongyeon hasn’t talked to me in a long time.  Not after we broke up,’ he opened up, his voice now quieter and more remorseful. ‘I tried to stop doing all this fighting a month ago-‘ he said. Soojung let out a doubtful sigh. ‘It’s true!’ he insisted before shaking his head. ‘I don’t know I was getting tired. I just wanted to live the way normal people do,’ he looked from Soojung to Rei. ‘So I tried to get a job,’ he told her.

Rei saw how reluctant Soojung was in believing the boy ever since he opened up his story. ‘I started talking to her because….I just wanted help,’ he shrugged helplessly. ‘She said they had one vacancy here and that I could try it out so I did. And I got it,’

‘When was this?’ Rei asked.

‘A few days before she-‘ he nodded, unable to complete his sentence. His eyes looked fragile.

Soojung had already turned around, obviously affected by the memory of Jongyeon, and the reality that she was gone. Rei clasped her lips. ‘And then?’

‘I noticed there was this one guy,’ he began again. ‘I didn’t think it was weird, but he would come here, every night, at around 10 and sit at the same place. Every night,’

‘What’s with him?’

‘He’d look at Jongyeon, a lot.’ He testified. ‘Gave her tips, and then one night I saw them outside talking. I didn’t hear what they were talking about. But I assume they know each other. I thought it was her boyfriend but she doesn’t look too-‘ an image of that scene appeared in his head. He was cleaning the tables in the shop when he saw the two figures across the street in the dark. There was very little he could make out, looking from afar.

‘Comfortable?’

‘Yes. Sometimes I thought she looked a bit scared,’ he said. ‘It’s like she would be on guard every time he was there.’

‘What’s he like?’ Soojung suddenly spoke.

‘Dark brown hair, he had this creepy smiling look on his face. He’s pretty tall, looks like he’s in his late 20s.’

Soojung looked at Rei, a look on her face that she had no clue who he could be.

‘Have you ever talked to him?’

‘Sadly, no.’ he said. ‘We don’t even have CCTV either,’

Bummer, Rei thought. It would have helped a lot. ‘What about that night?’ she asked in a gentle, careful voice.

‘I wasn’t there,’ he replied. ‘She didn’t contact me. I wasn’t sure if she took a day off because I didn’t see her at cram school. It’d be weird though if she wasn’t,’

‘How come?’ Rei asked.

‘Why would she come back to school after work?’ he raised a question.

‘To kill herself?’

The boy was silent. Rae sensed him disagreeing. ‘You don’t think she killed herself,’ she said.

He shook his head. ‘They said she hung herself at around 1 or 2. It’s a pretty ty time to kill yourself. Many people would still be around at school at that time.’

Why kill yourself in a setting with the risk of someone saving you?

‘Has she ever been suicidal?’ Rei asked.

‘Not that I know. She had always been..’ Doyoon breathed. ‘..fierce. She works hard so that she could live a better life with her brother.’ He explained. Rei watched his gaze drop.

‘I see,’ she said.

‘I’m really sorry for what happened to her,’ Doyoon said. ‘But I don’t know what happened to her, and I really hope whoever did it gets caught.’

‘Thank you,’ Rei spoke for Soojung. ‘We’re sorry for being a bother,’

‘It’s the least I can do,’ he said, a smile that seemed to be filled with grief. ‘I have to go back in,’

‘Of course,’ Rei excused him, and watched Doyoon go back inside. Soojung was drowned in her thoughts and appeared to be unattached to the real time dimension. ‘Are you okay?’ she squeezed her hand. Soojung nodded, but looked anxious. ‘Do you want to go back?’

‘That would be best, wouldn’t it?’ she said. ‘He’s lying,’

There was ego in her words, but Rei understood where she came from. ‘He’s not,’ she protested. Soojung felt another weight added to her shoulders. ‘He’s not,’ Rei shook her head. ‘Not even about himself,’

Soojung let out a heavy sigh.

‘Need a place to think? We could go to the park, sit down and you can have a bit of quiet time to figure out what you want to do next.’ Rei suggested.

Soojung nodded. ‘I guess,’ she sighed. Rei led her, without exchanging anymore words. There was something about Doyoon that was like a page in an open book to her, something Soojung did not see. And even if she did she probably refused to believe it. She has had a question in her head for him ever since he saw the look in his eyes when Soojung mentioned her name, and he had answered it for her so clearly, she could not help but feel a deepened sadness for the boy.

Do you still love her?

I do.