chapter twelve

more than a kiss

The sound of guitar plucking at a constant beat outdid the solemn mood in the corner of the A-wing common room at 10 in the evening, but did less than nothing to uplift the solemn atmosphere. The music was faint, and rather soothing on a Spring school night. Rei, Sehun, and Kyungsoo were sitting at a lounge area. There were others in the room, a group were exchanging humorous stories and laughing, some were playing games, some were reading, but they all were minding their own business.

‘That’s it?’ Sehun asked. Rei merely nodded, continuing to pluck her guitar to a regular tune. Kyungsoo had a very disoriented look in his eyes.

‘Nothing’s going to happen to Jongin, right?’ Kyungsoo asked in a slow voice. Upon noticing the silence of the boys, Rei set aside her guitar. She knew Chanyeol would be conflicted about what she and Soojung did, which was why she chose to entrust the information to only Kyungsoo and Sehun. If Soojung trusted them, she would have told them, but Soojung herself was struggling to digest the information.

‘Honestly? I doubt it,’ she said. ‘And not just because rightfully, they can’t convict him.’

‘What do you mean?’ Sehun asked, fiddling with the cross pendant on his necklace.

‘You know,’ she said, playing her guitar again. ‘You’re probably familiar of cases where people get wrongly accused, even killed.’

‘Right,’ Sehun ran a hand through his hair. He was familiar with that. Too familiar. It seems like every month or even weeks someone was being wrongly punished, or killed at the hands of the police.

‘What?’ Kyungsoo looked at the both of them with a clueless pair of eyes. Sehun looked wary, maybe even a little bit reluctant to explain. Rei took the liberty to do so instead.

‘The world we know, don’t always work as honestly and transparently as we thought it would.’

Kyungsoo furrowed his brows, new to such implications behind her words. Ever since Day 1, he has shown himself to be more naïve and unconsciously ignorant of what lies beyond what he sees and goes through every day. When you are protected, and raised beyond others who are different somehow, by a platform called privilege, sometimes it is hard to see what is happening to those who are standing on a lower floor. Especially when you are unaware that you have been born on a raised platform than others.

‘So what could the police do to Jongin?’ he asked.

Rei sighed. ‘It’s unlikely but-‘

‘Maybe force him to confess, but then again-‘ Sehun continued. ‘-this isn’t a big case. They might not even try to solve it,’

‘Why not?’

‘The police have a lot on their hands already without Jongin’s sister’s death.’ Sehun answered.  Many unsolved cases that they just had to discontinue. Since Jongin’s sister is just an average citizen, there’s a high chance that if they can’t find anything else-‘ Sehun did not continue, and Rei slapped her hands together, gesturing a closed case to finish Sehun’s sentence. Closed, and unsolved.

‘That’s sad,’ Kyungsoo tightened his brows. ‘I wonder what Jongin would feel,’

‘Not knowing what happened to your own family,’ Sehun leaned his arms on the seat of a sofa he was leaning against. He twisted his neck, feeling a slight strain. ‘It must ,’

‘Jongin just wants this to end,’ Rei said.

‘Really?’ Sehun was dumbfounded. ‘I didn’t think he was that type,’

‘If his sister was alive, it’d be different.’ She replied. Sehun immediately understood her implication. Jongin was subtly overprotective, and would go to lengths to ensure whoever hurt the people he cared about paid for it, or at least make sure they would never be able to hurt them again. But this time, his sister could not be hurt again. The best he could serve her as a last was to finish her funeral proceedings and move on. Out of love for her, he respected what was best for her, not just what he wanted.

The only reason he was restless was because this case was taking such a long time to reach a concluding line. He knew it was hard to work on a case, but the anxiety that came with all the possible outcomes that the investigation could lead to was doing nothing to help him move on.

To Rei, wanting to let go but being held back by other circumstances was more painful.

‘So what do you make of the ex-boyfriend?’ Kyungsoo raised the question. ‘Is he fishy?’

‘As transparent as glass,’ Rei replied, then crossed her arms with a sigh. ‘As far as we know if she had no reason to go there-‘

‘This happened at her school, didn’t it?’ Kyungsoo asked.

‘Not exactly a fishy place, btu not convenient either if you ask me.’

‘And she was working, wasn’t she? Or supposed to,’

‘What’s the legal age to start working?’ Kyungsoo asked.

‘18, unless you have parents’ permission.’ Rei answered.

‘So-‘

‘Yeah,’ she nodded to his inquiry. The fact that Kyla had a fake ID in order to get a part time job was somewhat disheartening, and at the same time, a cause for complications for her case. It was something Jongin did not desire at all.

‘So how could she have ended up there in the first place? I mean, if the ex wasn’t there-‘ Kyungsoo rested his chin on his hand. ‘-odd,’

‘It’s either she did have a reason to end up there, or she was dragged.’

‘But who?’

‘I don’t know,’ Rei shook her head. ‘Someone must have had a really good reason to bring her there.’ She pressed her fingers to her lips.

‘Why would anyone want to kill her?’

‘No idea,’

They fell into a silenced dead end.

‘I hate this,’ Sehun tried to twist his body. His back had been aching ever since practice. He had spent a good few hours in the gym trying to strengthen his muscles. But of course, no good thing comes without pain.

‘Practice?’ Rei assumed. He nodded. She set aside her guitar and slid down beside Sehun. ‘Come here,’ she said, and Sehun shifted closer towards her. He let his arm dangle loose and Rei held it, working her bit of magic on him. She had always been the one to massage his sore muscles and Sehun never tire of it. It never failed to help. Kyungsoo watch the two, though the both of them were silent, not exchanging the least of glances. However, there was unmistakeably a connection, a synchronization of some sort that existed between them. The chemistry overlooked how good they looked together.

‘You have pretty strong hands,’ Sehun commented. ‘Do you lift?’

‘She swims,’ Kyungsoo reminded her, pulling a cushion to his chest.

‘Oh yeah,’ he said. ‘No wonder,’ he glanced at her.

‘Nothing compared to you,’ she murmured. Sehun looked down at his sleeveless biceps, then at hers. She had on a simple loose black t-shirt on but it was far too obvious that her arms were smaller than his. After all, Sehun was bigger in frame to her anyway.

‘Hey, Rei.’ The three were interrupted by the presence of boy, whom Kyungsoo recognized to be someone from the jock team. He was dark-skinned and looked far more muscular than boyish Sehun was. It was amusing to see such an important member of the superior layer of the school hierarchy be dealing with someone as inconspicuous as Rei. ‘Are you selling?’ he asked. Rei looked at Sehun.

‘Which?’ she asked.

‘The hot one,’ the jock replied, keeping his voice quiet enough.

Rei nodded her head towards the A-wing resting room and stood up. Sehun followed suit, leaving Kyungsoo alone with Rei’s guitar. It was amazing how well they kept up with their business even after Chanyeol had told everyone to lay low. But Rei predicted that it was safe, since the case had nothing to do with them in the first place. Plus, the nationals were coming up, and more and more athletes would be coming to them to ask for special supplements to help them with their performance, if they could not already obtain it from their own coaches.

It was a quick matter, and before Kyungsoo knew it, Rei and Sehun were already out of the room. The resting room, which consisted of two rows of beds were allocated for sick students and was the closest room without any surveillance camera. Kyungsoo noticed Rei pushing in several paper bills inside the pocket of her guitar bag.

‘Why’d you follow me in?’ she asked Sehun.

‘I don’t know I just thought it would be safer for you,’ he shrugged, sitting back down on the sofa with her.

‘Thanks,’ she offered him a grateful smile.

‘You two-‘ Kyungsoo spoke up, to which Sehun and Rei both looked at him. ‘-kind of remind me of Bonnie and Clyde.’

‘Who?’ Sehun turned to Rei for clarification.

‘That American criminal pair,’ Rei merely said. ‘They died,’ she ended, as if deliberately trying to detach the reference from the likes of her and Sehun. But she knew Kyungsoo only meant that because of how they sell all the illegal goods together.

‘So we’re-‘ Sehun grinned. ‘-partners in crime?’ he waited for Rei’s reaction. Kyungsoo was already smiling wide in amusement. Rei smirked, then pushed Sehun’s chin away.

‘You never told us where you’re from,’ Kyungsoo changed the subject.

‘Me? I’m from Seoul.’ she answered.

‘I thought you probably came from the West.’ Sehun had a fairly surprised look on his face.

‘Because of my English?’ she laughed. ‘Silly,’

‘But you speak a lot of languages, don’t you?’

‘Only what interests me,’

Sehun shrugged in defence, then sighed. ‘God, I’m so tired.’ He dropped his head onto the crevice of Rei’s shoulder. He rose a bit and pushed Rei’s hair aside, and she shifted herself so that it was easier for him.

‘We have a lab report to finish,’ she reminded him nonetheless, not really showing urgency through her actions.

‘Ten minutes,’ he said, shutting his eyes and sliding his body lower so that he did not strain his neck resting his head on her. Rei looked at him, then relented. She pulled a random National Geographic magazine sitting on a small table beside her and began reading in silence. Kyungsoo could not help but stare. Sure, he knew well they were not in love, but the kind of friendship they shared; it was different from what he saw with Jongin, Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

Maybe it was a childish, innocent bond of trust and reliance he saw in Sehun and Rei. Maybe it was how they were always together no matter where, and how they never made him feel left out. Kyungsoo would hate to admit but the more he knew Chanyeol the more he believed there was more to the students’ council member than his wide smile and trustworthy attitude. And as far as he was concerned, Rei and Sehun were the closest to high school friends he could ever have in that peculiar clique of theirs.

He noticed Rei slowly adjusting her position to make sure Sehun’s head did not topple off her shoulder.

Maybe Kyungsoo was mistaken about them.

When he saw how peaceful they looked, Kyungsoo got up and excused himself. He was barely exhausted and felt as if the night was dragging too slowly, so he took himself to the art studio. No one else was in there, which gave him the freedom to do whatever he liked without feeling as if someone was watching him. Kyungsoo sat at his usual seat and pulled out his small sketchbook. He had barely any ideas on his mind but his fingers were itching to create something visually beautiful.

Kyungsoo took his drawing pen and began randomly tracing them all over the clean piece of parchment, delicately lining them in black ink. Before he realized what he was drawing, he had already drawn the back silhouette of a long-haired girl in pants and t-shirt, standing in the rain. He filled on the ground where she stood, a field of white lilies.

He rested his head on the desk as he applied finishing touches to his pen drawing, adding whatever he deemed was necessary.

‘It’s pretty weird seeing you out at this time,’ Kyungsoo was alerted by a voice from the door of the studio. He looked up, and saw Jongin leaning against the door opening. He had a flannel over a loose white tank top.

‘Hey,’ Kyungsoo began tidying his belongings. ‘What are you doing here?’ he asked, though not in a condescending tone.

‘We’re going to catch a movie,’ he looked down at his watch. ‘It starts in half an hour. Do you want to join?’ Jongin offered. Kyungsoo was stunned for a minute. ‘Meet us at the usual place,’ Jongin said before closing the door behind him. Kyungsoo did not waste any time, but could not restrain himself from pondering about Jongin. He found it rather odd that he had took the liberty to find Kyungsoo himself to offer a late-night movie viewing, rather than just call him on his phone.

He looked less frustrated and Kyungsoo thought he was rather carefree too, relatively to his past behaviour lately, but he considered the fact that perhaps he might have viewed Jongin so due to his own assumptions and fear to go near him. But Jongin was in a good mood.

Kyungsoo startled himself letting the thoughts eat him inside out that he did not notice Jongin passing him a box of popcorn. ‘You look…confused,’ he commented. Kyungsoo could not utter a single reply, and like a dumb dog followed the rest into the cinema theatre.

The movie they were about to watch was a local horror, but barely popular, seeing that they were the only crowd in the theatre. Kyungsoo sat beside Jongin and Rei, struggling to focus on the movie. It felt like he was staring at the screen in a dark blur, with quiet conversations in French he did not comprehend.

Half an hour into the movie and all Kyungsoo could do was keep glancing to his left where Jongin was. At one time, the latter glanced back, and they exchanged empty odd looks with each other. The peculiar air of tension could be sensed even by Rei, whose eyes were fixated on the large screen.

‘I’m going to the bathroom,’ Jongin said around five minutes afterwards. Before he stood up, he gave a knowing look to Kyungsoo. As if mesmerized and without thinking twice, Kyungsoo followed him out right after he exited the theatre.

Kyungsoo found Jongin washing his face and checking his own reflection as if to look for flaws and scars on his tanned skin. ‘You’re not acting like yourself,’ he walked over to the tissue dispenser and ripped several pieces off before dapping his face with them. ‘Something wrong?’ he asked. Kyungsoo was silent. ‘You don’t want to tell me?’ he snickered.

Kyungsoo kept his gaze on Jongin. Something was building inside of him, and he did not know how to relieve it. ‘So why did you follow me in here?’

‘I don’t know,’ Kyungsoo shrugged. ‘I couldn’t focus,’

Jongin shucked the used tissues into the dustbin and turned to Kyungsoo. ‘This is farfetched, but are you bothered about when I kissed you?’

Kyungsoo felt something inside his head connect, but he did not want to admit it. ‘Why do you say that?’

‘You’re staring at me. You’ve been staring for a while. You used to stare at Rei like that,’ his lips curved into a grin. He began walking towards Kyungsoo in a slow, but threatening manner. ‘What’s wrong?’ he stopped until they were merely inches apart, and all Kyungsoo could see were  Jongin’s dark brown eyes. ‘Liked it?’ he breathed into Kyungsoo’s ear.

He felt a sharp tremble run down his spine and Kyungsoo clenched his fist.

‘It’s okay,’ Jongin whispered. ‘We can try again,’ his voice was suggestive and lined with mischief.

‘T-try what?’ Kyungsoo took careful steps back.

Jongin laughed a little looking at how scared Kyungsoo looked. ‘Hey, it’s okay. We’ll take it slow,’ he touched the tips of Kyungsoo’s strands, then grazed his fingers against his cheeks. With that, Jongin slowly leaned his head forward and placed his lips on Kyungsoo’s.

Jongin was careful and slow; and Kyungsoo kept his eyes open, blinking several times. He had expected it to feel foreign and out of place, but instead, it felt more than just a pair of lips. He could feel a gentle electric shock from his lips, run down to his neck and then inside his chest.

 The he closed his eyes, and Kyungsoo kissed Jongin back. He did not know what got into him, but it was natural, and it felt right. Everything fell into place; Jongin’s hands on Kyungsoo’s face, an arm around his waist. In such an inconvenient and unromantic place of a bathroom, Kyungsoo got his second kiss from a boy, and it felt like the rightest thing he could do in the entire universe.

Before long, Jongin deepened the kiss, slipping his fingers gently to the back Kyungsoo’s neck, up between the strands of his hair. He stuck a tongue down Kyungsoo’s mouth, giving Kyungsoo another unexpected jolt of electric that sparks like a small explosion. He hates to admit it but kissing Jongin felt more of a wonder than all those times he ever kissed girls. Was it Jongin’s own expertise, or Kyungsoo’s feelings, he may never know.

Jongin slipped a hand underneath Kyungsoo’s t-shirt, slowly pushing him towards a wall, gaining even more control over him, but Kyungsoo could barely even think about complaining. ‘Let’s go in there,’ Jongin nodded his head over to an open cubicle.

‘Why? There’s no one here,’

‘We need more privacy,’ he gave a sly smile, and Kyungsoo only followed in anticipation.