Coincidentally, the first time that Kibum saw Onew, was also the first time he saw Jonghyun. On second thoughts, it wasn’t such a coincidence after all, was it? Since they were in the same band?

It was their Dinner and Dance night that marks the close of the freshmen orientation week. Even though it was really just meant for the first years like Kibum, most of the school had turned up in the hall to watch the performance as well.

“What’s up freshmen of 2009! ARE. YOU. READY TO ROLL!” A boy with big and shining eyes yelled to the cheering crowd below the stage.

Everyone was bouncing around excitedly, waiting for the beginning of the performance. The emcee had introduced this band “Tuned Up” as the most popular student-initiated band in the university. That had to count for something right? 

There were 4 members, 3 boys and a girl. The boy who just did the little shout-out to the audience was the vocalist, if his standing behind a microphone stand could be any clearer indication. Kibum thought he was good-looking. Well, you know, not drop-dead-gorgeous good-looking. Just good-looking. 

He has a sharp-looking face with a well-defined jaw line and a pair of big eyes, thin lips that gave way to reveal a set of straight, white teeth. Kibum thought he looked like a cute version of a dinosaur when his smile showed all of his teeth. But, it was his hair that caught Kibum's attention the most. His hair was a two-toned shade of blond and brown that blended nicely with each other at the point the two colours met.

Definitely good-looking. 

“This is our first song for tonight, Ready Or Not! Everybody, ROCK WITH US!” The dino-boy shouted into the microphone and loud cheers erupted in the hall.
  
Kibum liked rock music, especially those with strong and fast beats like this song. His head bobbed along to the rhythm of the song as he surveyed the other members of the group. 

The only girl in the band was slim and had a typical sharp chin that other girls would be envious of, almond-shaped eyes and a pretty smile as she grooved to the music, her slender fingers dancing across the keyboard with grace and groove. 

There was a guy with chiseled features; sharp pointy nose, small eyes and a slight smirk hung on that super-fine face as he rocked the electric guitar somewhere to the side of dino-boy. 

Lastly there was the drummer, who was positioned the furthest away from the stage. He had his eyes closed and was engrossed in hitting the beats so he didn’t look up much. All Kibum could see was his long, tousled brown locks that looked so soft, even with all that hairspray on. He exuded an unmistakable aura of power and attraction.

Kibum couldn’t help but snort with laughter at that memory. Seriously, an aura of power and attraction? Onew? Any aura at all?

Sometimes it was really hard to see how the clumsy dork he knew as his best friend could be the same person he first saw on that stage, all manly and ready to conquer the world. It was definitely a stark contrast from the time they first met, which involved something like Onew tripping face first and kissing the floor. It’s like Onew would become a completely different person once he took his position behind the drum set.

“Are you ready or not? 
Ready or not? 
Girl, I wanna speak my mind
 Although I’m lacking, 
I still want to love you~” 

 Dino-boy’s voice drowned out all thoughts as Kibum melted into his melodic crooning. He was unable to take his eyes off dino-boy while the rest of the hall jumped and pumped their fists in the air. 

“Are you ready or not? 
Ready or not? 
‘Cause you’re my only girl~” 

At that instant, dino-boy’s gaze connected with Kibum’s. As he sang the last line, he pointed right at Kibum and winked.

“…did I just see him… Omo.” Kibum gaped, hand on his mouth which was hanging open. He couldn’t believe that the charismatic man he’d been eyeing up all night just pointed at him and... Winked? Gosh, he felt his knees go slightly weak as he struggled to keep himself in check.

Later, the band introduced themselves which was when he learned the name of dino-boy. Kim Jonghyun. It rolled off Kibum’s tongue smoothly as he quietly repeated the name under his breath.

“Annyeong, I’m Kwon Yuri!” The pretty girl who played the keyboard said and the crowd went wild. Who wouldn’t really, she was beautiful. 

The guitarist introduced himself as Lee Joon and leader of the band while some of the older female students in the audience screeched “JOON-OPPA! OPPA~! KYAHHHHH~” Kibum gawked. If Kim Jonghyun wasn’t considered drop-dead gorgeous, this Lee Joon guy certainly was.

 He also took a good look at Mr. Power-drummer and found himself staring at what could be the sweetest eye-smile and a dazzling grin that could melt anyone’s heart. 

“JINKI! JINKI! JINKI!” The crowd chanted, already near hysteria.

“Annyeong haseyo, this is Lee Jinki!” He introduced himself politely, eyes almost disappearing behind his wide grin. 

Kibum could see even the female staff acting like young fan girls who were meeting their idols for the first time. Strangely enough, he could see why Jinki had everyone driven crazy. It must have been that thing he does with his eyes.

 Wow, this band was really something. It’s no wonder they are the most popular in the school. Other than playing great music, all their members are so good-looking too. Kibum remembered thinking something along those lines at that point in time.

Sigh. Look how that turned out, Kibum-ssi, you . Kibum thought bitterly, as he lay on his bed staring up at the ceiling, reminiscing about what had passed and would never be again.

It wasn’t like Jonghyun had just gone over to him after the performance and scooped him away in his arms to their happily-ever-after. In fact, that wink was probably just a little stunt of his stage presence and part of the performance, since his eyes never landed on Kibum again for the rest of the night.

They only met again 2 weeks after that night, at Kibum’s first Student Council meeting. Jonghyun was a second year councilor, member of the executive committee and was in charge of freshmen councilors. To be honest, Kibum doesn’t really know how things ended up the way they did. Yes, he was attracted to Jonghyun, there was no denying of that. But the feeling had not been mutual, as Kibum should have guessed. It’d taken a lot of subtle wooing on Kibum’s part, endless texting till late at night, just a hint of flirting in his words before Jonghyun finally asked him out.

It was good while it lasted. It just didn’t last long.

Since Jessica came back into the story, Jonghyun had been ambiguous about his feelings. Kibum understood why Jonghyun did what he did, to let go of him as well as Jessica. He was probably confused and suffocated. He did not want to be forced to make a decision, so he chose to leave both of them. But knowing all these doesn’t make it hurt any less for Kibum. It hurts, because he wasn’t enough for Jonghyun to want to choose to be with him.

Reaching into the drawer by his desk, he pulled out a photo of Jonghyun and him. It was the only thing of his that he hasn’t gotten rid of. Kibum couldn’t bring himself to do it, to accept that it was all over and would never come back.

It was taken on their 5 months anniversary, at the chic little ice-cream place Jonghyun had wanted to go. Kibum was smiling blissfully at the camera with a spoonful of ice-cream in his mouth and Jonghyun was leaning over, puckered lips a small distance away from Kibum’s cheek. They looked so happy here, it was no wonder none of them saw it coming, that they were going to fall apart.

Kibum tucked it away. The memory was too painful, too recent. He went from having everything, to absolutely nothing overnight. Even though he was the one to break it off, it still killed him inside.

Every day, Kibum woke up wishing there’d be a text, or a call from him. He wished to see Jonghyun’s name appear on his phone’s screen, telling him that he wanted Kibum back, that he loved him and wanted to start over. Every day, Kibum went to bed with nothing but disappointment and heartbreak. And like this, his tears fell until sleep caught up with him.

“Aish… Stop it Kim Jonghyun, stop haunting my thoughts. You need to leave my head NOW.” Kibum shoved both hands into his hair and ruffled it, frustrated. He thought about what Onew had said just now about setting himself free.

Why didn’t I fall in love with someone like Onew instead? If only I’d fallen in love with him instead of you, Kim Jonghyun, everything would be so much easier and I’d bet I wouldn’t be hurting now. Kibum thought.

Onew was all kinds of wonderful; gentle, sweet and thoughtful. He’d been there for Kibum throughout his emotional rollercoaster ride, and never even once got angry when Kibum neglected him while he was together with Jonghyun. What would he do if he didn’t have Onew’s reassuring words, his warm hands to dry his tears, and the comforting in his hair, to always tell him that everything will be okay?

Kibum had always been the impatient one. Spontaneous and full of energy, fleeting from place to place doing everything, wishing time would pass by slower. Onew was always the one to pull him back from doing stupid things in the heat of the moment, calm him down and provide alternatives. He couldn't help but think, maybe if he'd met Onew earlier, had coffee with him earlier, got close to him earlier. Maybe Onew could have prevented all of this from happening.

They were so different. Kibum was short-tempered, but Onew was forgiving. He was the kind of patient that Kibum could never be. He was the calm meandering river while Kibum was the rush of a waterfall. The two were polarities; they weren’t just different, they were opposites. As ironic as it sounds, that seems to be the reason why they fit so well together.

Kibum was the boat that flowed along with the rapid currents. Onew was his anchor.

Kibum thought whoever ended up with Onew in the future must be the luckiest girl to live. Too bad it wasn’t him.

Too bad you can’t choose who you love.

A.N.: This is kind of late, it's my first day of work today and I didn't know I'd get home so late heh. So yup, there's a bit of Jongkey's past for this chapter. It's kind of pointless really, I don't really know why I wrote it haha :/ Will post the next chapter earlier tmr. Things will get better! 

Comments are greatly loved <3