Sometimes on a good day, when the sun shines brightly and everything goes the way it should, it was as if he could feel positivity seeping through every pore of his body and he could just drop everything that was troubling him, forgive everyone that had ever done him wrong, and just love everyone and everything with an open heart.

At times like that, there was nothing he thought he couldn’t do.

It was one of those days again when Kibum looked around and felt like it was a beautiful day. Not that there was any sun shining or things which could go wrong at half past one in the morning, but still he felt like he could actually love with all his heart again.

He was lying snuggled against Onew’s sturdy chest, with his arm as his pillow, the older boy already fast asleep.

Kibum watched his boyfriend’s steady breathing that was in time with each rise and fall of his chest, the rhythm gradually lulling him to sleep as well. But he was trying to fight the fatigue that was slowly pulling him in. He wanted to grab the last few moments before losing consciousness to relish in the simple sense of security he derives just from being beside Onew like this, silently watching him in his sleep and knowing that Onew belonged entirely to him only.

Tracing a finger down Onew’s cheek, Kibum watched how the moonlight coming from the window formed a silhouette on half of his face. He felt safe, and b with both gratitude and relief that the storm had already blown over, and that Onew had not let him go without a fight. It felt like he had been saved.

Nothing is changing.

What happened only awhile ago already felt so far away to Kibum now that he was here.

“What about Hyoyeon-noona?” Kibum asked uncertainly. Even if their love for each other has not wavered in the least, the issue of Hyoyeon’s feelings for Onew remained a tricky one to solve.

“We’ll have to tell her about us. I don’t how yet, but we’ll work something out together.”

But Kibum talked on. He wanted to make sure Onew was fully aware of everything he would be getting into and having to deal with by choosing to stay together with him. He wanted to make sure that he had given Onew the chance to back out if he realized that the Kibum he is was not what he could handle on a daily basis.

“Are you sure, Onew? You see, I’m so insecure. I mistreat you and throw a fit when I’m unhappy. I only care about myself and how I feel, but never once thought for you. You deserve someone so much better, don’t you see? Someone perfect like yourself, someone like Hyo–”

Onew pressed an insistent finger to Kibum’s lips, silencing his rambling.

“No more, Key. Let’s just drop that, okay?”

Kibum stared at Onew with widened eyes, surprised at his firm tone. Before he could wonder if Onew had gotten angry with him, he was pulled into the older boy’s arms once again.

In a significantly softer voice, Onew said,

“I don’t want perfect. I only want you.”

When Kibum heard Onew say those words, the words of assurance that he knew he wanted and needed to hear ever since he found out about Hyoyeon’s feelings for his Jinki, he felt himself go completely weak. It was as if with those words, all the strength he’d been forcing himself to have, the stubborn fight against his true emotions, the walls he put up again and everything else that was barely holding him together in the last week was drained in an instant and he came undone so easily.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry…” Kibum whispered, burying himself in Onew’s embrace, leaning his entire weight on him. He’d given up trying to support himself, he was just so exhausted. The only thing that was still holding him up was Onew’s strong arms around him.

Kibum inhaled the scent of Onew as the older boy his hair and hugged him tighter, feeling his weariness slowly dropping away. He’d missed this, missed Onew, so, so much.

“It’s okay… Just don’t do this to me anymore. Whatever it is that happens, as long as we have each other, we’ll be okay…”

Kibum nodded against Onew’s shoulder, eyes closed as the older boy rocked their bodies only slightly from side to side, his hair and whispering in his ears “It’s okay, baby, we’re okay now…”

Just then, Kibum’s stomach churned and gave out some kind of a rumbling sound that was clearly audible in the quiet room. He hurriedly covered his face with the front of Onew’s shirt, too embarrassed for words. Onew burst out laughing and broke away from their hug.

“You silly baby, you’ve tortured me so much and even yourself too. Let’s go have dinner now!” He pinched Kibum’s cheeks when the younger boy finally released his hold on his shirt.

Kibum smiled at the sleeping Onew, remembering how he kind of wanted to dig a hole in the ground to hide himself when that happened, more embarrassed because he had apparently caused himself to starve, and once again thinking how lucky he is to have Onew. Because even after how Kibum had been treating him lately, Onew still wanted him back.

Kibum tilted his head and inched upwards, closer and closer until he was level with Onew’s face. Gently, he pushed the tip of Onew’s nose with one finger, trying to make it look like a pig’s snout and he sniggered soundlessly at how funny Onew looked.

The older boy stirred in his sleep and half-opened his eyes, maybe because of what Kibum was doing to his nose or maybe it was Kibum himself who was shaking with laughter that woke him up. He pulled Kibum closer to him as he closed his eyes again and mumbled in a voice that was thick with sleep, “Go to sleep baby, it’s late now…”

Kibum kisses Onew’s nose that he was abusing just a moment ago and put his arm around his favourite boy.

He fell asleep with a blissful smile on his face.

***

Jinki’s phone vibrated in the middle of his lecture and he gingerly reached into his jeans pocket for it, putting it under his table and away from view before flipping it open. Even though in the university everyone else would just blatantly use their phones in class, and the lecturers have long turned a blind eye to that, Jinki still never really subscribed to that habit.

1 New Message: Key (05-11-10 12.32pm)

Baby! Do you know what day it is today? :D

Upon reading that, Jinki lowered his head even more as he tried to conceal the grin that was spreading on his face. Of course he knew what day it is, but he wanted to play around and pretend he doesn’t, just to see what his boyfriend would say.

“Um… Friday? Don’t you have class now Key-ah? I’m in a lecture right now….”

He imagined how Key would react when he read the reply that carried no indication whatsoever that he had any idea today marks the first month that they’ve been together. He must be huffing that Jinki’s text even sounded like he was trying to brush him off and not to disturb him while he was having class.

As expected, Key’s reply came only shortly after.

1 New Message: Key (05-11-10 12.33pm)

… you heartless pig.

Jinki would have snorted with laughter at that if he not for the fact that he was seated in a lecture hall right now. He had already planned to bring Key out for dinner at night after his dance practice, and maybe just stroll in that particular park, or lie in the school field again eating ice-cream in the chilly near-winter night air.

Nothing fanciful or extravagant. It’s just the two of them spending time together with each other. But for now he would have to quickly own up and salvage this situation before he ended up having to spend the night alone.

Jinki thinks for a moment, wondering if being cute with Key now would work. Okay, go.

“I’m just kidding! :P I’ll be waiting outside your room at 8pm, okay? We’ll go out for dinner and maybe ice-cream? ^▽^

 P.S. I love you, don’t be mad with baby please? *pouts*”

Flipping his phone shut, Jinki continued to listen to the lecture attentively, feeling just a tad bit guilty for missing out on some earlier parts that was being discussed.

He picked up his phone which he’d left on the vacant seat to his right when the lecture ended, wondering why Key had not replied him. Is he really mad? Jinki thought as he flipped the phone open, but his home screen showed an unread message from Key. He must have been too focused in the lecture that he missed the message coming in.

1 New Message: Key (05-11-10 12.36pm)

Pabo… I love you too :)

Jinki smiled, picking up his bag and sliding his phone back into his pocket as he got up to leave. He had some time before his next class started and he had something to do. He’d gotten the idea off the net, from his Facebook news feed. One of his friends had shared that image and he thought it was the sweetest thing to do.

Who else better to do that for other than his own boyfriend, right?

 ***

They walk hand in hand in silence, Kibum occupied by his own thoughts.

To be perfectly honest, he was still troubled over how they would tell Hyoyeon about him and Onew’s relationship. He couldn’t really anticipate her reaction, if she could accept it calmly or it would cause them to fall out with each other. Even though she was considered a mild-natured girl, nobody could ever tell for sure when it came to matters of the heart, right? Even more so when she seemed to love Onew so deeply.

Hyoyeon had not dropped by during practice today, which Kibum was really secretly thankful for. He definitely did not need to deal with another round of her gushing about Onew to add on to the guilt that he was already feeling, and he was sure he would not have been able to enjoy the occasion with the only person who made things right.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Onew squeezed their clasped hands to get his attention when he turned to look at Kibum.

Kibum contemplated being honest, but dismissed that thought quickly. Not wanting to worry the older boy again, he just smiled and shook his head.

Onew frowned then, letting go of their hands and abruptly stopping them both in their tracks.

“What? It’s nothing, Onew.” Kibum said, looking at Onew, tempted to reach out and smooth away the tight creases in his brows.

Onew sighed and said, “I know that smile, Key-ah. It’s not nothing. Are you thinking of something silly again?”

“No, really. I swear.” Kibum said. He began to walk again, pulling on Onew’s wrist, beckoning him to follow. Onew who was initially reluctant and stood resolutely rooted on the same spot eventually gave in and dragged his feet along.

“I was just thinking about how we’re going to tell Hyoyeon-noona. I don’t want her to hate me, or you, and I really don’t want to hurt her either.” Kibum admitted, shoving both hands into his pockets and looking at the ground.

Onew sighed and became quiet for awhile. Kibum knew that it isn’t easy for him too since he’d been good friends with Hyoyeon for such a long time. But then the older boy just nodded his head a few times and started to speak.

“I know. I know what you’re worrying about and I know it’s hard. I don’t want to do it either, especially when we’re all friends. But it’s been hurting you so much, and… when it hurts you it hurts me too.”

Onew paused for a moment, as if it was physically hurting him as he was saying it, and Kibum instantly felt guilty for putting him through all of it, for making him suffer again. He could have saved them both a whole lot of heartache if only he had been more mature in handling the situation.

“There’s no way we’re breaking up because of this, and we can’t possibly carry on without her knowing. Wouldn’t it be worse if she finds out in the end that we’ve deliberately kept it from her?” Onew continued to say.

“Hmm… I guess you’re right.” Kibum conceded a bit unwillingly. He really hated that things had to be like this, and he felt so powerless against something as fragile as another person’s emotions. But he also knew that there was no way out of it, someone will be hurt no matter what, and he really doesn’t want to hurt Onew anymore.

“Come on, Key-ah… Don’t worry anymore. At least just enjoy yourself when we’re together now? It’s a special day, you know…” Onew scrunched up his nose and pouted. Kibum thought he looked just like a child who’d been thrown away, all sad eyes and droopy lips, trying to get his attention.

How this same boy could possibly be a soon-to-be double degree holder and a super-hot drummer in his spare time that could have just anyone falling for his charm in about three seconds flat was truly beyond Kibum’s understanding.

Still, he was aware that he’d been neglecting his poor boyfriend way too much lately, what with the whole Hyoyeon issue. So really, Onew was right. He should at least enjoy the time that they have for one another now.

He nodded in response, taking Onew’s hand with a smile.

“Ah, I’ve missed this.” Kibum breathed a contented sigh and swung their hands higher, already feeling much better.

“You’re the one who’d been running away from me, Key baby.” Onew said with a teasing smile.

Kibum let go of Onew’s hand and looped it around the older boy’s neck in a mock chokehold, saying with an annoyed tone “Yah! I said I’m sorry already–”

Kibum’s words were cut off in midsentence when Onew suddenly grabbed hold of the arm around his neck; pulled Kibum’s other arm over his shoulder, and hoisted the stunned boy up in a piggyback.

“Hold on tight!” Onew said as he held on to Kibum’s thighs that were gripping his hips in his panic. Kibum really had no choice but to comply, hastily tightening his grasp around Onew’s neck.

Onew began to half run, half skip ahead and Kibum was freaking out because really, Onew was clumsy as hell, and he could die from this joyride if Onew tripped or if he accidentally loosened his hold on Kibum.

“Oh my god, Onew! What are you doing?! Slow down! No, put me down!”

“Nope, not gonna!” Onew squealed happily and began to spin circles as he continued to skip forward.

“Jinki, seriously! People will see us!” Kibum called out his real name, just to show that he meant business. Aside from the fear of falling, even though he knows that Onew would never let him fall, he was also wary of the people who might see them like this. It was already kind of late, and there weren’t many people on the streets back to school, but still Kibum thought they shouldn’t be taking chances.

“Then let them! I’ve decided that to prevent such things from happening again, we should let everyone know about us. We should declare our love to the whole world, Key!” Onew shouted as if they were the only ones in the world. He was being way too excited for his standards.

“Shh! Onew!” Kibum hit his back frantically. It occurred to him that he was in an excellent position to cover Onew’s mouth and to make him stop shouting, but he didn’t because he wanted to hear what else his cheesy boyfriend would say.

It was definitely sweet, if not a little embarrassing.

Onew stopped in his weird spinning and skipping antics, and Kibum wondered why he doesn’t seem to be at all dizzy from spinning all those circles.

“YAH! EVERYONE!” Onew hollered at the top of his voice, stopping only a moment to catch his breath before continuing.

“I LOVE KIM KIBUM! KIM KIBUM! YOU! ARE! MINE!” He paused, breathless from shouting with all his might, and perhaps also from Kibum’s weight on his back. Kibum went quiet in a split second, blushing and smiling madly as he leaned in closer to Onew’s face, chest pressing against his back.

Onew was a hopeless romantic. His hopeless romantic.

The older boy turned his head around to face Kibum, giving him that heart stopping smile that still made him want to squeal and never failed to reduce him to a mess, sending the butterflies in his stomach on full force and filled up his heart to the brim. Onew turned back around and started again.

“KIM KI–”

“LEE JINKI! YOU ARE MINE TOO! KIM KIBUM LOVES LEE JINKI!” Kibum shouted as loudly as he could, just like Onew did, while holding on to him tightly.

“I! LOVE! YOU! LEE JINKI!”

They spent the entire walk back to school yelling disjointed words of love and ownership for each other, laughing themselves silly at something particularly corny that the other had said, linking arms and swinging in circles around the street, and occasionally stopping to steal kisses to the other’s cheeks, nose, lips.

For awhile, Kibum forgot all about the things that had been bugging him. For awhile, he was truly happy and thought about nothing, other than how much he loved Onew. For awhile, everything was okay.

They were so silly around each other. They are hopelessly crazy about each other.

Nothing made Kibum happier.

***

“Baby, are you cold?” Jinki asked Key, and the younger boy who was lying on Jinki’s chest shook his head.

They were lying in the school field, empty ice-cream cups at the side, staring up at the starry night sky. It was much like the scene from a few months ago, just that this time Jinki lay with one arm cushioning his head, and the other over Key’s shoulders and resting on his chest.

Key was holding that arm, both hands placed on top of it and hugging it to himself.

How things have changed.

“Onew-yah.” Key said, tightening his hold around Jinki’s arm.  

“Hmm?” Jinki merely hummed in response, and shifted his arm to Key’s cheek.

“Tell me a story.” Key said, turning his head a little awkwardly so that he could look at Jinki.

“You’re really such a baby, Kibummie.” Jinki said, smiling to himself because really, he loved it when Key acted this way.

Key turned around to lie on his side, facing Jinki, his head still resting on Jinki’s chest and still hugging Jinki’s arm close to himself.

He stuck his tongue out at Jinki and kissed his hand.

“Hmm… What story do you want to hear?” He asked after thinking for awhile, because he really wasn’t good at stories to be honest. Chemical and mathematic formulae and economic policies he could regurgitate to you without having to so much as think. But stories, no.

“Tell me… about us, Onew. Everything, from the start.” Key said in a quiet voice.

Jinki raised his eyebrows in surprise at his sudden request.

“I… I don’t know what to tell you about, Key.” He said after thinking for a brief moment. There was nothing he could say, or maybe there were too many things he felt for this young boy since the first time Jinki laid eyes on him that he didn’t know where to start.

“Do you know why I gave you the name Key?” Jinki added, somewhat as an afterthought after calling out the nickname he had given Key from the start. It wasn’t exactly a story, just something he hasn’t yet told anyone.

“You said it is short for Kibum, isn’t it?” Key answered matter-of-factly as he studied Jinki’s face.

“Yeah, it is, too… but…” Jinki hesitated, thinking that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to bring this up because really, the answer was kind of lame.

“You mean there’s another reason for it?” Key’s eyes were filled with curiosity as he regarded Jinki’s sudden awkwardness.

“Erm… yes, but it’s really corny so… never mind!”

His attempt at dismissing the topic failed as Key got up from his position to lie on his front so he could see Jinki’s face properly, with his elbows beneath him to support his body. Jinki could feel cold air hitting the spot where Key’s head had rested on his chest, and he his side, curling up a little so he was looking right back at Key too.

“I’m not letting you off till you tell me, Jinki baby~” Key narrowed his eyes and mimicked a menacing look at the older boy, his lips curled up in a smirk.

Jinki sighed dramatically. There was no way out of this, he could just tell.

“Well… it’s just the way you are, I guess. When I first knew you, you came off as a really positive person. Kind, passionate and full of energy. Whenever I looked at you, you reminded me that I should still fight to feel alive, feel enthusiasm at the little things that make me happy, dare to love boldly as if I am not afraid of being hurt. You lived your life never being too cautious, like there’s nothing to lose, and when I look at you, I find that I want to be like that too.”

“I felt rather jaded, for a period of time before I met you. Life was grinding to a halt, some things weren’t progressing and others felt burdensome. I did well at school, I played my best at the band, I was a good son to my parents, but other than that, nothing much was making me feel like there was more to this life I was living. Sometimes I even felt like I was just letting the minutes and hours slip pass me so another day would be over. It’s like I was hardening as time passed. D’you know that feeling?”

Key took Jinki’s hand, not saying a word to interrupt him.

“Of course, most times I was okay. I didn’t think anyone even picked up that I was so discontent with the way I lived. As long as I tuned out and not think about anything, I am okay. But when I met you, and grew closer to you, it’s like… it’s like all the solutions to all of my problems were laid out neatly in front of me. It was suddenly clear to me what I had to do for all the things I never had an answer to before. It’s like you are the key to all of my troubles, my strengths and of course… my heart.”

Jinki ended the impromptu confession of the deepest part of himself that he had never revealed to anyone before. He felt sort of vulnerable at this moment, because he was baring his entire soul to Key, he was letting him in completely, to a place in his heart that nobody had yet set foot in.

“Since then?” Key intertwined their fingers together, holding their tangle of arms close to himself. He seemed a little shocked.

“For longer than you know.” Jinki nodded and said simply.

“Was I worth all of that? All the hurt and the suffering all alone for so long. Was I so worth it?”

“Do you still not understand, Key? You’re like a wonderful revolution that came to me and changed my life eternally, and only for the better. I am stronger now because of you, I can give my hundred per cent to everything I do because of you, and I fight for all that I love because you taught me to. Without you, I am nothing. You are always going to be worth it, baby. Always.”

Jinki sees Key’s eyes glisten with unshed tears, and couldn’t help but sit up quickly, bringing a hand up to Key’s face, gently caressing the smooth skin with his thumb.

“I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you.” Key said in a barely audible voice as he leaned closer to Jinki. He felt Key’s hot breath against his cool skin, and then all thoughts were blown away from his mind as Key’s soft lips were on his. The contact lasted only for a second before the younger boy pulled away a little, and went in with a different angle to capture Jinki’s lips once again. Each time their lips met, Key would on Jinki’s lip just gently for a mere moment, pull away, change angles and do it all over again.

“Where did you learn to do all this, oh god.” Jinki panted shallowly when they finally pulled apart, breathless because he was growing too eager to meet Key’s lips every time it left his, and the intoxication that followed after each contact was too overwhelming.

“Research.” Key answered and giggled shyly.

Jinki ruffled his hair lovingly, there was no way he could say anything against that especially when he enjoyed the kiss so much.

Key just smiled as he reached into his pocket, producing his phone when he pulled his hand out. Suddenly he exclaimed, “Oh my god! Jinjja?! I SUCCEEDED ONEW-YAH!” and turned to a confused Jinki, showing his phone screen to him.

1 New Message: Minho (05-11-10 11.30pm)

KIBUM! HE ASKED ME OUT! JONGHYUN-HYUNG ASKED ME TO GO HELP HIM PICK OUT A NEW PAIR OF TRAINERS! WHAT THE HELL! OMGGG :D

Jinki was amused by Minho’s spazzing that was way over the top, but other than that, there was nothing about the text that he understood. Jonghyun? Minho? What?

“I don’t get it…” Jinki scratched his head a little and said a bit sheepishly.

“Oh god, I can’t believe I didn’t tell you about this, Onew! Minho told me some time ago that he’s interested in Jjong, could you honestly believe it?! So I did a bit of my own magic to both parties to try to set them up together, and I succeeded! They’d make a really cute pair, don’t you think?” Key gushed excitedly, his face all lit up with happiness for his friend.

Oh.

“Is that why you went to see him again the other day?” Jinki asked, words leaving his lips faster than he could stop them. Honestly, there was a tiny little bubble of reservation in his heart that still questioned why Key had had to meet with Jonghyun again the other time that made him have to forgo their date. That bubble instantly popped when he heard what Key just said.

“What did you think?” Key asked with raised brows and a quizzical expression. But then it was like the truth dawned on him as that expression changed to one that was slightly accusing and he said, “No wait, don’t say it. I know what you’re thinking.”

“I’m sorry. I… I didn’t know what to think.” Jinki apologised and looked away, ashamed of himself for not trusting his boyfriend and their love more.

He felt a soft poke at his cheek.

He turned around to see Key beaming brightly at him.

“Yah, pabo Onew. You you you. You’re the only one for me.”

***

Kibum sat at his desk with his turquoise coloured post-it pad, pen poised above it as he thought of what else he could write. Onew’s note to him unfolded and stuck on the desk.

Kibum was literally buzzing with excitement when practice ended and he was no short of sprinting back towards the dorm because he needed all the time he can have to get himself nicely groomed before his date with Onew. It was almost odd how much he was looking forward to it, especially since dinner on weekends was already like a routine for them, and it’s not like Kibum haven’t been in a relationship for longer than a month before.

Then again, he hasn’t felt like this before too. In love, yes. But the feelings were not quite so intense, yet his heart so light at the same time. He concluded that perhaps Onew was just different. What they had, it was different.

When he reached the door of his room, he saw that there was an amber coloured post-it note stuck just above his doorknob. Without even looking for any names on it, Kibum already know that it was Onew who’d left it here. The colour kind of represented him, because the older boy had been using the same amber coloured post-its for as long as Kibum knew him, and that was during their first meeting, when Onew had stuck a piece of the sticky note in his palm with his number written on it.

He peeled it off gently and unlocked the door, reading it with a frown as he walked into the room. It was a whole list of confusing instructions, written in dark blue ink in Onew’s neatest handwriting, which his half-OCD brain almost didn’t want to follow.

[1] I need to tell you a secret, look at 5.

[2] The answer is: look at 11.

[3] Don’t get mad, look at 15.

[4] Calm down, don’t be mad, look at 13.

[5] First look at 2.

[6] Don’t be that angry, look at 12.

[7] I just wanted to say I love you ♥

[8] What I wanted to tell you is… THE ANSWER IS ON 14.

[9] Be patient look at 4.

[10] This is the last time I’m going to do this, look at 7.

[11] I hope you’re not mad when I say this: look at 6.

[12] Sorry, look at 8.

[13] Don’t get mad, look at 10.

[14] I don’t know how to say this but look at 3.

[15] You must be really mad, look at number 9.

Aish, this boy!When Kibum finally reached the end of jumping here and there to reach the message of the entire note, he thought his boyfriend couldn’t get any cheesier but he certainly wasn’t complaining. It was really cute, if he had to say so himself.

After carefully folding the note in half and sliding it into his wallet, he quickly got ready.

Kibum smiled, adding number 7 onto his list, then one last one before he put the cap back on his pen. I shall give him a surprise tomorrow morning, Kibum decided, and prepared to go to bed.  

[1] I need to tell you a secret, look at 2.

[2] I Love You.

[3] I love you because you always make me feel so safe and happy.

[4] I love you because you bring out the best in me.

[5] I love you because you’re so hot (bonus! :P)

[6] I love you because of the little things you do for me which show me that you care about me.

[7] I love you because you’re Lee Jinki, and you are perfect for me.

[8] Happy monthsary baby! ♥

A.N.: Okay so this was done faster than expected! I was halfway through writing it already, but decided to just stay up last night to finish it all at once and stop dragging my feet over it. So here you go! One chapter of pure Onkey fluff for you! I hope it was good ^^

Letting you know in advance that it will definitely take me very long to update the next chapter =.= But I will try my best to have it ready in 2 weeks :/ 

xoxo