Things weren’t going well.

In fact, Jinki wasn’t sure it’s going at all. The last week had felt like some kind of a rollercoaster ride, but most of the time, the ride stayed low. Jinki had never felt so down, worried and lost for a long time.

Key had been all hot and cold towards him lately. Sometimes, he would seem so reliant on Jinki, vulnerable even. Other times, he was distant, like he was shutting everyone out. Including Jinki.

He had thought things were fine between them after all, and everything he’d been brooding over the night before about Key’s meeting with Jonghyun were just undue worries when he met Key the next day for their usual Saturday dinner. The younger boy was being his typical energetic and adorable self, the way he always was when they were together.

He recalled how Key had tugged on his hand after dinner and pouted, saying that he doesn’t want to go back, and can they stay out at the park tonight to watch the stars? Jinki had smiled then, holding his hand tighter and ruffled his hair, wondering how he could ever bring himself to deny anything Key wanted.

“Onew. Baby.” Key broke the comfortable silence between them and said in a soft voice while toying with the front of Jinki’s shirt.

“Hmm?” Jinki tilted his head down so he could see his boyfriend’s face better, but Key was looking down and Jinki couldn’t see his expression.

“… I love you a lot. You know that, right?” Key said and looked up, right into Jinki’s eyes.

It was strange that Jinki saw traces of uncertainty in his eyes, he seemed so fragile at that moment. Key would often ask Jinki in a joking manner if the older boy loved him, because he just loved to be babied by Jinki and it would always lead to a nice and warm cuddling session afterwards. But this, it was a first.

Jinki answered with a bright smile, and a soft kiss to the younger boy’s forehead.

That night, he felt so contented with Key snuggled against his chest, holding him close, and keeping him safe.

As the week went on, however, Jinki couldn’t help but feel that his boyfriend was keeping something to himself. He was often lost in his own thoughts, like he wasn’t really there with Jinki somehow. Whenever Jinki tried to hold him, he would either silently and gently pull away, or he would let Jinki be without reciprocating the actions. Jinki began to see strain in his smiles, but worst of all, Key was cancelling on their plans or rejecting Jinki whenever he asked him out.

Jinki had run out of excuses for his behavior. He doesn’t really know what to think, and he most definitely did not dare to ask Key what was wrong, for he was afraid of hearing what he least wanted to hear.

His thoughts revolved around the same thing, his sole explanation for Key’s change: Jonghyun?

Am I going to lose you, Key?

***

“…...okay.” Onew’s defeated tone came from the other end of the receiver after a brief silence and Kibum winced involuntarily, hating himself for being weak and the way things had to play out.

“I’ll text you later, yeah?” Kibum said, trying to sound as normal as he could, like there was nothing wrong at all.

“Hmm. Don’t come back too late, okay?” Onew’s gentle concern made his heart ache even more.

“Ne. I’m hanging up now.”

Kibum ended the call and left his phone lying beside his head on the bed, not even bothering to slide it shut. He knew well enough what Onew was thinking about with that resignation in his voice, and it’s because Kibum had said he was going to meet Jonghyun again tonight.

He was too, at first, since he had something to tell Jonghyun that had slipped his mind the other night. But after everything today, he decided he wasn’t fit enough to interact with any humans and so he called it off, saying he was feeling unwell. He preferred to stay curled up in his own protective shell for the night.

Come to think of it, Onew could have easily thrown a fit and demanded Kibum to explain why he was acting like this, why he had to meet Jonghyun again, or maybe he could have just said no too, since Kibum was his boyfriend now, he had the right to be at least a little unhappy. But Onew, being Onew, just wouldn’t do anything like that.

Sometimes, times like now, Kibum felt like he didn’t deserve to have Onew.

It was the third time he’d ew down this week, and he knows his boyfriend was beginning to sense that something was wrong. But he couldn’t help being like this. He couldn’t look at Onew without thinking about Hyoyeon.

For awhile, Kibum had convinced himself that things were going to be fine, and nothing was going to change. He didn’t want to let these things come in between them, and so he threw them aside and tried to be unaffected.

But no matter what he did, he couldn’t escape the thoughts that haunted him and he felt like reality was closing in on him too.

Whenever he went to dance practice and saw Hyoyeon, his heart would be filled with both guilt and dread. It was worse that Hyoyeon didn’t know anything at all, and the little snippets of her feelings for Onew that she would share with him every now and then through practice only made him feel sick.

She loved him first. Kibum thought and he felt like he was doing something wrong. He felt like he’d snatched Onew away from her, even though he knew that was hardly true.

When he ended his meeting with the student council this evening, he stepped out of the council room to see Onew waiting for him near the door. He was looking down at a square lunchbox in his hands.

No way out now, Kibum thought as he took a deep breath and smilingly approached Onew.

“Hey.” He said in a small voice, and poked Onew’s arm softly. I missed you, he added silently.

Kibum saw the older boy’s eyes light up and he smiled so lovingly at Kibum when he looked up. He was aware he had been pushing Onew away lately, and the older boy was probably confused and hurt by his actions. But right now, he was here, and whatever else had to wait because Kibum missed his boyfriend and his mesmerizing smile. When he looked at that smile, Kibum suddenly felt like everything was going to be okay.

They began to walk together, back towards the direction of the dorm building.

“Are you done for the day?” Kibum asked, because he was rather certain that Onew had another meeting right about now.

“I missed you, Key-ah.” Onew said quietly, not answering Kibum’s question. “Anyway, I brought you something!”

He handed the square lunchbox to Kibum with a wide grin. Curious, Kibum pried the lid open, and despite his little positive self-talk just a moment ago, he stopped, frozen in his tracks.

“Cookies!” Onew, who obviously didn’t catch the change in Kibum’s expression, said excitedly.

They looked a little too familiar.

“Try it, it’s good!” Onew continued to say.

Just to show willing, Kibum took a piece and bit into it tentatively. It was what he thought, after all. The taste, it was exactly the same. Hyoyeon made these.

“It’s good, right? Hyoyeon gave me these and I wanted to share them with you because it’s so yummy!” Onew said happily. 

Kibum’s heart sank and he felt a queasy sensation spreading in his stomach. He hadn’t even needed to ask, Onew had already confirmed it.

“Ne. It’s good.” Kibum said expressionlessly and slowly started to walk again, with Onew following beside him.

“You… You like people who can do such things for you?” Kibum asked.

“Of course! It’ll be nice!” Onew said while munching on the cookies.

Kibum was sure his smile must look so fake, because inside, he felt nothing but bitterness.

Kibum’s phone vibrated and he snapped out of his thoughts.

1 New Message: Jonghyun (29-10-10 8.13pm)
It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Rest well then, you’re probably really overworked! Anyway, you said you have something to tell me?

Oh yes. Well at least it’s something nice to talk about… Kibum thought and began typing his reply but then decided that maybe calling him would be more convenient.

“Yeoboseyo?” Jonghyun’s cheery voice came through as he picked up just a few rings later.

“Jjongie-ah.” Kibum smiled as he answered, feeling Jonghyun’s high spirits infecting him just a little bit.

"Ne~? What is it you wanted to tell me, Kibum-ah?" Jonghyun asked him, with that same cheerful tone.

"I meant to ask you this the other day, Jjongie. You know my friend, Choi Minho?" Kibum asked, deciding to play dumb to test the waters first before bringing things further.

There was a chuckle coming from Jonghyun, and he answered "Of course I do! We are in the same committee this year, don't you remember?"

Okay, this is where it gets hard... Kibum thought. He'd thought about what to say before calling, so the plan now was to just follow through with it.

"So what do you think about him?" Kibum asked in a casual tone.

"Hmm... He's helpful, pretty spontaneous and caring, I guess? There was this time when I got sick and he offered to help me – Wait, why are you asking me this anyway?" Jonghyun's tone turned suspicious.

Kibum laughed. As he had hoped, Jonghyun wasn't one to put his guard up, especially towards Kibum and so it was considerably easy to get something out of him.

"Oh... Jjong-ah. It seems that you're quite close with him then?" Kibum teased, just to see how Jonghyun would react.

"We are... in the council context? It's hard to not be close when we work together so much!" Jonghyun answered simply, and Kibum couldn't detect any special emotions in his voice.

Yah... This Kim Jonghyun. Never the one to have to do the chase, jinjja...

"Kibum-ah, you haven't told me why you are asking this?" Jonghyun's voice came again.

"Hmm... Nothing much. Just the other day, he asked me about you and he was saying that you seem like an interesting guy. That's all." Kibum said simply, thinking that he would just leave Jonghyun with something to think over. He doesn't want to push too far and ruin Minho's chances this early.

"Really? Interesting like how? You didn't tell him I was a jerk to you did you..." To Kibum’s surprise, Jonghyun seemed to be taking interest in the subject.

Did... But he still fell for you anyway... Kibum thought, remembering his surprise when Minho told him, but said instead "Aniyo, I didn't at the point he told me. And I don't know what he meant by interesting, Maybe you should ask him yourself... Anyway, Jinki-hyung is coming over now so I got to go. Minho is a good guy, Jjongie-ah!"

"Er... Okay? Erm. Hmm. Okay I got it." The older boy was obviously confused at Kibum's last sentence, but Kibum wasn't about to solve the puzzle for him. He was going to let Jonghyun figure it out himself so the weight of the truth could sink in.

"Ne, bye Jjongie!" Kibum hung up, feeling bad that he lied to Jonghyun just so he could get off the line. His job was done, and now he wanted some space to think about his own problems.

He thought about Minho and Jonghyun, and the possibility of a blooming relationship. That was when he felt the twin horrors of yearning and emptiness coming at him in waves. He wondered how he was going to pass this night with these emotions raging within him.

He lay in bed for hours, feeling an urge coming to him together with those mixed-up emotions. The truth was that, he wanted to be with Onew so bad right now, but he was also afraid.

Kibum thought he had more time. But Hyoyeon already made her first move today. How long more till the truth comes out?

Why do I keep feeling like I will lose him? He's been nothing but thoughtful and loving to me. Why am I being like this? Yah, Kibum-ssi, you're not being fair to him.

He knows and he wants to trust that Onew would not just leave him behind the way it happened with Jonghyun before. But didn't he also think Jonghyun loved him enough then? Were they not good together as well? It still happened in the end, even after he'd fought so hard for the both of them.

Once bitten, twice shy. Kibum just didn't have the strength to keep believing.

He was trying to distance himself now so it wouldn't hurt so much when Onew really had to go. But every so often, like tonight, his longing for Onew's warmth is too much for him to handle all alone. And so he keeps going back.

He felt so weak.

Why is it always me? Why does my love always have to be so hard? Why is it that everyone else can have what they want and who they wanted, but something always has to go wrong for me? Why can’t I just be happy for once?

Can I just be selfish one last time tonight? Just one last time...

With that determination, Kibum got up from his bed and left his room, locking it up for good for the night.

***

It was 11pm, Jinki was still waiting for Key's text as he tried to finish up his part of the report for the meeting he'd skipped today just so he could catch his boyfriend. He initially wanted to bring Key out for a relaxing meal, or a stroll in the park so they could talk about things and relieve the tension that was clearly building up between them. But Key had turned him down, again. And he was going to meet Jonghyun, again.

Why? Jinki wanted to ask. He wanted to say no, but he didn't. Jinki conceded that Jonghyun was special to Key, and he wanted to respect that, even if it was hard on him.

With the way he younger boy was acting lately, Jinki didn't want to text him first or pressurize him in any way. If Key said he would text, Jinki just had to hold him to his word.

As he was watching his phone's blank display, as if willing it to light up with a new message, he heard someone knocking the door lightly, once, twice. He got up and walked towards the door, wondering who it could be at this hour.

He opened the door just a creak for him to look through, and immediately opened up when he saw that it was Key.

Key was wearing an oversized tee which sleeves came down to his elbows and three-quarters sweatpants. His hair was messy and he was pulling on the hem of his shirt like he was nervous.

"Key, baby? You're back? I was waiting for you to text." Onew didn't know what kind of mood Key was in, but he pouted cutely, hoping to see a smile spread on his lover's face.

"Onew-yah. Can I... Can I sleep here with you tonight?" Key said a little timidly, still tugging on his shirt.

Jinki's brows went up a little in surprise. Key's question was completely unanticipated but he wasn't complaining. This was the vulnerable Key standing in front of him, and Jinki wanted to protect him, from whatever it was that was bothering him these days.

"Of course!" Jinki smiled and reached for Key's hand, leading him into the room and closing the door behind him.

"Are you tired?" Jinki asked when Key sat down on his bed.

"Yeah... A little." The younger boy answered.

"Hmm I would love to go to sleep with you now but I have this report to finish..." Jinki pulled a face and pointed to his laptop on the desk, then continued with a smile "Just sleep first if you're tired, okay? I will finish quickly and join you."

Key nodded with a tiny smile, and lied down on Jinki's bed, facing him. Jinki wheeled his chair over to the bed side and began to Key's hair gently until the younger boy slowly closed his eyes. Jinki then pulled the covers up to his shoulders, leaned down to kiss his forehead, and whispered, "Goodnight my baby."

***

Kibum closed his eyes, but he wasn’t asleep.

He peeked out through half-lidded eyes to see Onew at his desk focusing on his laptop screen, occasionally stopping to write something down on the papers in front of him.

Kibum never said it, but he loved to quietly watch Onew do his work. He was always so completely focused with the tasks on hand, and Kibum loved that serious expression on his face. Kibum, on the other hand, was not like him in this aspect. He was easily distracted when he was doing anything other than drawing and so, whenever Kibum studied together with Onew, the older boy would have to check on him every so often to make sure he didn’t sidetrack from doing his work.

He lay there, silently observing Onew’s every action. The way he would rest his chin on the tip of his pen and frown when he was thinking, or the way he would twitch his nose like a bunny would sometimes. The way his fingers would dance across the keyboard of his laptop like he was playing the piano, even the way he held his pen, Kibum memorized religiously.

He felt sad thinking that this wonderful, wonderful man might give him up one day.

Onew yawned, rubbing his eyes and stretching a bit in his chair. Kibum saw him turn his head in the direction of the bed and he hurriedly crashed his eyes shut. He felt Onew’s fingers lightly sweeping his fringe to the side, and in an instant, the contact disappeared.

He heard sounds of paper shuffling, the chair being pushed around, and light footsteps that disappeared with the soft click of a door. Kibum opened his eyes then and sat up. He saw that the desk was neatly packed and Onew was in the bathroom, supposedly washing up to turn in for the night. The clock on the wall showed that it was almost midnight.

Knowing that Onew would be beside him in just awhile, Kibum laid back down, pulling the covers around himself and shut his eyes once again.

***

Jinki locked the door of his room, turned off the lights and padded quietly to the foot of the bed. He climbed in as carefully as he could, easing himself in beside Key on the bed, hoping not to wake his boyfriend up. It was a bit of a squeeze, since the bed was obviously only meant for one, but Jinki didn’t mind.

When he found a comfortable enough position to lie in, he shifted a little closer to Key who was back facing him and put an arm around his waist. On the contact, the younger boy in his arms turned around to face him. He wasn’t asleep like Jinki thought, after all.

In the dark, Jinki could still see the outline of Key’s well-defined face, and his eyes that twinkled from what little light coming from the window. He was staring wordlessly back at Jinki.

Their faces were mere centimeters apart, and when Jinki looked at him, he saw it again. The uncertainty and fear in his eyes.
He brought a hand up to caress Key’s face and finally, decided to ask him.

“Is something troubling you, Key?” Jinki said softly.

Key’s expression remained unchanged. He wasn’t smiling, nor was he frowning. He looked almost stoic, except for the insecurity in his eyes. The younger boy only shook his head curtly and curled up on his side, closer against Jinki.

Jinki took that as a cue that he didn’t want to talk about it. So, he only slid the other arm beneath Key’s neck so he could hold him close in his sleep. He could feel Key’s tight grip on the front of his shirt and his steady and warm breath coming through the fabric. He kissed the top of Key’s head, and felt himself drifting off to sleep.

***

Jinki woke up in the middle of the night because he couldn’t breathe. He was beginning to feel suffocated in his sleep as he felt his airway being cut off. The sensation killed all his sleepiness in an instant and when he opened his eyes, he found that it was Key whose arms were circled around his shoulders so tightly like his life depended on it, and he was trembling. Not violently, but noticeable enough for Jinki to be worried.

Jinki pulled away from his death grip slightly and let fresh air rush into his lungs.

“Key… Baby, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Jinki asked, rubbing Key’s back and trying to soothe his trembling.

“D-don’t leave me, O-Onew. Don’t go…” The younger boy said, his eyes were tightly squeezed shut.

“I’m here, I’m here, baby. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you.” Jinki kept repeating this and he kept rubbing Key’s back until he felt the trembling gradually fade.

When Key opened his eyes to look at Jinki, he said in a soft voice “I… I dreamt that you were leaving me, Onew. You said that you don’t love me anymore, and you have someone else that you love very much. You told me that you were going to leave me…”

“It’s just a bad dream, baby… I love you, I’m not going to leave you. It’s just a bad dream, it’s okay now, I’m here…” Jinki crooned while he held Key closer. He had no idea why Key would have this kind of crazy dream, but he could see how traumatized he was by it.

“I don’t want you to go away. Don’t go away, Onew. Don’t leave me alone, please. I really need you…”

“I won’t. Never ever.”

At that, Key nodded slowly and nestled back into Jinki’s chest while Jinki patted his back until he fell asleep.

***

It was just a few days to the first month mark of his relationship with Key, but Jinki wasn't sure there was much left to it.

After that night, the needy and vulnerable Key disappeared for good. What was left was unconcerned Key, cold and distant Key and sometimes snappy Key. Jinki didn't understand why, considering the night before the younger boy was practically close to tears just begging Jinki not to leave him. But whenever he so much as tried to bring the topic up and ask him why he was being like this, snappy Key would surface and turn him away completely.

Jinki feared that their end was coming.

The void that was slowly expanding in his heart was driving him crazy. He couldn't focus on anything at all and he could only keep guessing, wondering when will be the day things were going to turn ugly, and if it did, what he was going to do.

Things were so horrible that he even wanted to approach Jonghyun at one point in the hopes of getting some answers. But in the last second before he pressed the 'Call' button, he flipped his phone shut and buried his head in his hands instead.

Jinki knows that he should be a man about it, and if Key had really decided to go back to Jonghyun, he should let go of him and be happy for him. He knew that well enough.

But he really doesn't want to hear it yet. Not so soon. He never wanted to hear it, but he needed some answers.

And he was going to get it, today.

***

Enough was enough.

Kibum wasn't going to move from his spot on this bed, he wasn't going to speak to anyone, nor was he replying any messages or picking up any calls. He's had enough.

He had just come back from another dance practice, and this time, Hyoyeon was showing him her current project: A mobile phone pouch with a cross-stitch of a cute elephant at the front for Onew.

For one, Onew doesn't use a mobile phone pouch because pockets were enough. And for another, well, Kibum doesn't know but what the hell? First it was homemade cookies, and now a handmade pouch?

"Hyoyeon-noona. I..." Kibum began, this time determined to tell her that he was actually together with Onew.

"Ne?" Hyoyeon looked up from her stitching and smiled sweetly at Kibum. He wondered if the beautiful glow on her face was because of the power of love she was basking in.

He felt his resolve waver as he muttered "Er..."

"You what, Kibum-ah?" Hyoyeon asked patiently with that same sweet smile.

"N-nothing. I just wanted to say that I think Jinki-hyung likes bunnies better, but then I thought elephants are fine too." Kibum answered a little awkwardly. The same resolve that seemed so strong when he started out had completely crumbled.

He just can't bring himself to do it.

And right now his phone was about to fall off the table from vibrating for so long. Onew had been calling, but he just didn’t feel too well-disposed to speak to him anymore. What for, right? He’s going to go soon anyway.

For awhile, his phone stopped vibrating, and Kibum was relieved that Onew was finally leaving him alone. Because truthfully, the amount of mental strength that was taking him to remain under control and stop running back to Onew was beyond imagination. But he knew he was doing this so it would hurt less later.

To his horror, however, there was banging coming from the door and the turning of his locked door knob.

“Key, are you there?” More banging. “Key, it’s me.”

Onew, of course.

“Go away, Jinki. I don’t want to see you or talk to you.” There was silence from the other side of the door. It was the first time Kibum had actually told Onew outright that he doesn’t want to see him.

“Why? Key, open up please? Tell me what I did, we can talk it out. Just don’t be like this, please.” Onew was pleading for him to open the door, and Kibum could imagine the worry on his face. It killed him to think about that but he had to be firm.

“ Just go away, Jinki! Why can’t you understand that? Go. Away!” Kibum specially emphasized the last two words just to drive his point across.

He succeeded too, because Onew was no longer banging on the door, or begging him to open up. Silence filled the air around him once more and Kibum his side, hiding under the covers wishing that the problems could be hidden away like this as well.

So he wasn’t going to fight for me after all, like I’d expected all along.

Kibum wasn’t sure how long he stayed in his bed, tossing and turning, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. But his original plan to not move at all wasn’t working out, because his stomach gave out a noisy growl, protesting against the long hours that Kibum had left it empty.

Reluctantly, he got up from his bed and pulled on any random outfit that was within reach. The sky outside had already turned dark.

He walked to the door and peeked through the peephole. The coast was clear; no sign of Onew, or any people at all, for that matter. It was only then that Kibum dared to open the door.

Damn! When Kibum took just one step out, he saw Onew quickly scrambling to his feet from the spot he was sitting at the side of his door, probably since all those hours ago. Kibum stepped back into the room and tried to slam the door shut, but the older boy was faster, and stronger and he successfully pushed the door open wide enough for Kibum to stumble back.

“What is going on with you, Key? Why are you acting like this?” Onew was obviously displeased. There was an undertone of annoyance in his voice that Kibum could not recall Onew ever using on him.

“What?” Kibum snapped, feeling defensive. He shut the door quickly, not wanting to attract any unwanted attention.

“This! For the entire week! You’ve been avoiding me, then coming back, then kicking me away again the next day! What are you doing exactly? Is it Jonghyun? Are you going back to him? Is this your way of leaving me?” Onew’s outburst left Kibum speechless.

What the hell was that? Jonghyun? Onew had gotten the complete wrong end of the stick. He had zero idea about Hyoyeon’s crush on him, doesn’t he? He had no idea at all about the kind of internal struggle I had been going through all alone. Kibum felt it then, all the anger and fear and whatever else he’d been holding in for so long. It was all bubbling to the surface now.

“No! What the hell are you talking about? This has nothing to do with Jonghyun! This is about you and me! Whatever is left, anyway. I am like this because… because a close friend likes you okay?! I always had to listen to her talk about you in guilt, and pretend to be fine around you. I was hiding it from you because I know that when you find out, you will leave me! Do you understand it at all?!” Kibum was full out yelling right now. The very first time he was actually quarrelling with Onew, his best friend, boyfriend, and soul mate.

“We should just break it off now, since nobody knows about us yet and we haven’t been together that long. Before I fall any deeper, let’s just break up now.” Kibum then continued to say.

If they weren’t in the middle of a fight now, Onew’s expression might have been funny, the way his eyes were bulging and his mouth hanging open.

“Hyoyeon-noona. She likes you. For longer than I ever did, before I even met you.” Kibum tried to calm down a bit and explain things properly to the stunned Onew.

“I know.” Kibum couldn’t say that this was the answer he’d been expecting. He thought that Onew might be surprised, or maybe struck speechless, something.

“Even though she’d never actually said anything outright to me, her actions were not exactly subtle. But why are you so bothered by it?” Onew said when he saw that Kibum did not react, but his question made all of those emotions come out again. Did he still not get it?

“Because I am afraid! I’m afraid that when she confesses to you, you’d become confused and not know who to choose! I’m afraid you’d feel sorry to her, and then you’ll leave me. Because Jonghyun left me like this!” Kibum was yelling again, his hands flew up to the sides of his head, exasperated.

“…come here.” Onew’s voice had softened significantly and he was gesturing for Kibum to go to him.

Kibum hesitated, and with uncertain eyes, said “I don’t know anything, Onew. But just tell me, is anything going to change?”

When they met in an embrace, Onew said in a soft voice that was so full of tenderness, the heart-leaping words that Kibum needed to hear,

“Nothing is changing.”

He couldn’t stop it, the tears just kept coming and he was shaking uncontrollably. It was as if all the tension he’d been holding within him for the past week had finally erupted, and he needed to let all of it out. Onew must have felt him shaking, or maybe it was the patch of wetness on his shoulder that was slowly growing bigger, because he pulled away from the hug and said “Oh god, Key, are you crying?”

The next thing Kibum knew, all the air was forced out of his system as Onew crushed him in the tightest hug he’d ever felt, and the older boy kept whispering in his ears “Please don’t cry, baby. I can’t bear to see you cry…”

Kibum gasped for air, hitting Onew lightly on his back and choking out “O-Onew, I can’t… can’t b-breathe…”

Onew let go and cupped Kibum’s face in both his hands. Looking into his puffy eyes, Onew said it again.

“Nothing is changing.”

.

A.N.: Omg it's 11.28pm and I just got home =.= I'm so tired now I want to cry zzz.

More Jongho for this chapter (Yup, the side pairing for this story is officially going to be Jongho), or at least Key is trying to match them together right now. Onkey's crisis is solved, for awhile at least. Pardon me for any typos and etc. I'm too tired to proof-read this again tonight. Last chapter for awhile, I won't really have much time to write these few days but I promise I will get back here as soon as I possibly can. 

Love to all for the comments/subscriptions <3

xoxo