Warning: Ultra long (word count: 14k /facepalm/) and boring.

 

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“Ooh~ Ski, ski! Jinki-hyung, Kibum-hyung, let’s go skiing too! Now, now, now!” Taemin could barely contain his excitement as he tugged on Jinki’s sleeve the moment the ski slopes came into view.

They have finally arrived at their next and final destination for their little family vacation, Yongpyong ski resort, after god-only-knows-how-many hours on the coach from Sokcho and were just on their way to the hotel that was situated right beside the base of the series of slopes.

Jinki smiled and opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted before he could say anything.

“No, we can’t, Taemin-ah!” Kibum’s voice came out urgent and flustered, and both Jinki and Taemin turned to look at him for his outburst.

“Ah... I mean, we still have to check in to the hotel and… stuff. You know. We’ll be busy tonight, so yeah, we can’t go skiing now.” Kibum stuttered a bit and mustered an awkward smile.

Taemin didn’t get why his hyung was acting so strange. He was just about to pout his way through the situation when he caught the look on Kibum’s face which was a mix of discomfort and panic and the sudden memory that they were supposed to look around the resort to get the necessary things for Jinki’s birthday surprise hit him.

“Oh…. Yeah, that’s right.” Taemin was little dejected but he knew that the priority is Jinki’s surprise, and this was his idea after all.

“Kibum is right, Taemin-ah. It’s nearly dinner time soon too, so not right now, arasso?” Jinki’s mother chimed in with a little laugh.

“Ne.” He was still eyeing the ski slopes longingly as they continued up the path towards the hotel, in awe at some of the skilled skiers and snowboarders who were pulling impressive stunts and hat tricks. Jinki, who had only raised his eyebrows quizzically then smiled and shook his head during the course of their exchange, came beside him and ruffled his hair comfortingly.

“We have all of tomorrow and the day after, ne? Hyung will ski all day with you!” Jinki smiled that beautiful dazzling smile of his and it lifted Taemin right out of the tiny cloud of disappointment he felt at first.

“I’m holding you to your words, hyung!”

Taemin could wait one day to hit the ski slopes if it meant making his favourite hyung’s special day extra memorable. All was worth it if it made Jinki happy.

 

Calling the room they were staying in a hotel room would be a gross understatement. It was really more like an apartment unit on its own. For a start, there were enough rooms for everyone to stay in a single unit together. There was also a sitting room with a comfortable-looking sofa and a kitchen area, complete with a dining table and stove. It was probably big enough to accommodate a family of four.

Jinki led the way to their shared room while the adults were checking the facilities in the unit, and they found two separate beds that were a tad larger than the size of a single bed.

Just as everyone was wandering around the room, peeking into wardrobe spaces and the bathroom, Kibum stopped and said, “Why don’t we join the beds? Then we can all sleep together on one bed.”  

Jinki and Taemin both seemed rather surprised at the suggestion, and Taemin wondered why Kibum wouldn’t prefer to just share a bed with his boyfriend because he was certain that was the way things would go down if Kibum hadn’t made the suggestion. Taemin wasn’t about to question him though, because much as he was supportive of his hyungs’ relationship, he still liked to be included and cold weather like this was naturally meant for cuddling, everyone knows that.

“Good idea!”  He finally said, and Kibum smiled delightedly. Jinki obviously had no objections and they began on it immediately, pulling the nightstand out from between the two beds and pushing them together. The single big bed that was formed stood in the middle of the room and was certainly large enough for all three of them to sleep in comfortably.

Taemin did his customary flopping onto the bed and started to roll around on it, enjoying the extra large space. He stopped and looked to the side of the bed, in the direction of the wardrobe, when he heard the sound of laughter and huffs coming from there.

Kibum was sitting on the floor, in front of his bags and unpacking his stuff, putting his clothes neatly in a pile on a corner of the bed. Jinki was lying on his stomach at the far end of the bed and picking up whatever Kibum had unpacked and throwing it back into his bags. He was obviously enjoying annoying Kibum because his laughter was fast becoming uncontrollable.

“Yah! Only one item at a time, you’re cheating! Onew-yah!” Kibum yelled while frantically picking up several pieces of clothing and dumping them back on the bed. Jinki had lost his ability to speak from laughing too much while sweeping half of Kibum’s things off the bed at the same time.

“I’m going to win, Key-ah. You should just surrender now~” Jinki said when he finally calmed down enough to speak coherent sentences, and he was slowly pushing the other half of Kibum’s things off, inching them closer and closer to the edge of the bed.

“Aish, you…” Kibum got up from the floor and leapt onto the bed, straddling Jinki’s back and beginning to tickle him. “You were cheating, you old man! How can you cheat, huh? We said one item at a time, did we not?!”

 Jinki let out a cry of surprise and squirmed, but he was immuned to Kibum’s tickling. In seconds, the older boy easily flipped around, pinning Kibum onto the bed and starting to deliver his own tickling attack. There were loud shrieks and laughter as Kibum fought to grab hold of Jinki’s hands to stop him but he couldn’t steady his own for long enough to do it successfully.

“S-sto-hahaha! Tae-Taemin-ahaha! Hel– hahaha! Help me AHHH!”  Kibum somehow managed to get the words out in between his laughing fit and spasms and Taemin almost died laughing just by looking at what was happening.

“Pillow fight!” Taemin suddenly shouted, picking up a pillow on the bed and starting to whack Jinki with it. The older boy stopped tickling Kibum and turned, only to have the pillow hit him square in the face. Taemin pulled the pillow back before Jinki could grab it from him and stuck his tongue out.

“Taemin-ah! I’m your hyung, you should be on my side! How can you help Key instead of me?” Jinki faked a look of hurt.

“Kibum-hyung is cuter than you, hyung-ah. And I help the cuter hyung.” Taemin smiled innocently back at his cousin. Beside Jinki, Kibum who was trying to catch his breath let out a loud guffaw, exclaimed “Daebak!” and slapped the bed multiple times in amusement.

“You’re going to die today, Lee Taemin!” Jinki growled and grabbed another pillow on the bed, launching towards Taemin with it.

With the way things were going, it was only a matter of time before Jinki was overwhelmed by the joined forces of Taemin and Kibum and got ‘disarmed’. Lying on his side, curled into a defenseless ball with only his arms covering his head, he was begging for his boyfriend and cousin to stop abusing him.

Kibum and Taemin high-fived while Jinki let out fake sobs and whimpers. “Nobody loves me…” He sniffed. “My cousin doesn’t want to help me…” sniff “My boyfriend joined him to bully me…” sniff  “Ummaaaaaa…”

“Kids! Enough of torturing Jinki now. Let’s go out for dinner!” Just then, Jinki’s appa appeared in the doorway and said.

“Appaaaaaaaa… They are bullying me…” Jinki complained and pouted to his father. The man took a look at the defeated Jinki on the bed and chuckled.

“Jinki-yah, you’re older and bigger than both of them, how can you be bullied by your dongsaengs so easily, hmm? I’m sorry, but I can’t help you for this. Come on, let’s go.” He laughed some more, shaking his head as he walked away.

Taemin who was kneeling on the bed, bounced a few times before dropping the pillow. He jumped off the bed and exited the room with a perfect moonwalk.

Because of that perfect moonwalk, he didn’t miss how Kibum leaned down on the bed to pull Jinki up, kissing him on the lips once and whispering “I love you.” 

Smiling, he thought to himself, My silly hyungs, please stay this in love forever.

 

While the family was out for dinner, Taemin and Kibum kept their eyes pricked for the places that sold party necessities and the adults helped to divert Jinki’s attention while the two boys quietly sidled off to look into the display windows of bakeries. Thankfully Jinki was never the suspecting type. He never even really bothered about his own birthday, so it was probably safe to say that he was completely clueless to what his family had in store for his big day. A sweet, unsuspecting Jinki promises sure success of the surprise.

The three boys then decided to take a walk outside of the hotel building, while Jinki’s parents went back to their room first. Outside at the skiing grounds, even though it was already about eight, there was still a considerable queue at the cable cars to bring them up to the top of the mountain, where the longest ski slope began. Jinki said that there was nighttime skiing that went on until past midnight, which probably explains the crowd. Taemin was captivated by the people at the steeper slopes pulling off smooth maneuvers in the snow, and he couldn’t wait for the next day to come for his turn to hit the skies.

The boys stayed outside just watching the people skiing until it began to get really chilly. It was then that Taemin felt Jinki’s arm link through his and leading them all back into the hotel with Kibum on his other side.

“Can I use the shower first when we get back?” Taemin mumbled, rubbing his eyes with his free hand, leaning into Jinki’s side and dragging his feet along. The day’s activities had worn him out, even though they practically did nothing except for travel, and sneak around a lot, of course.

“Nobody is going to fight for it with you, Minnie.” Jinki chuckled lightly and pulled him along.

 

“Hyung.” Taemin called. He was just done showering and was lying face down on the bed, toweling his hair dry. Kibum was in the bathroom at the moment while Jinki was last in line, waiting for his turn.

“Hmm?” Jinki turned around to look at him from where he was standing at the window.

Taemin finished drying his hair and flipped around, so he was lying on his back with his head off the bed. He closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh.

“You’re right. Kibum-hyung really is a great person.”

There was a brief moment of silence when Taemin felt the bed sink down beside him and he opened his eyes to see Jinki’s lovely smile.

“Why do you suddenly say that, Taemin-ah?” The older boy asked, reaching a hand out to smooth down his messy hair.

Taemin shrugged. “I just feel so.”

It wasn’t just because. It was the way Kibum was so meticulous in picking everything out for Jinki’s surprise. He was so attentive to all of Jinki’s likes and dislikes. More yellow balloons, because the colour makes him happy. Chocolate cake, because he likes sweet things. We should get him a party hat too, because he just likes to feel like a child like that. All the smallest details, Kibum took care not to overlook them and Taemin couldn’t help feeling just a tiny trace of jealousy because Kibum knew his cousin so much better than he can ever pretend to.

But that feeling is quickly quelled whenever he saw how they were around each other.

When Jinki first mentioned Kibum to him, he thought that the boyfriend of his sweet cousin who was always willingly spoiling him too much must be really so lucky. But now he knew that Jinki was just as lucky to have someone like Kibum. The two of them just fit, Taemin could see. There was so much true affection in their every gaze, every contact and even every unsaid word.

He could only wish that one day, such a love will find him too.

“Onew-yah, it’s your turn!” Kibum sing-songed as he walked out from the bathroom, clad in a loose fitting shirt and sweat pants, towel slung over his neck.

“I’m so sleepy…” Taemin drawled, closing his eyes when he felt Jinki’s hand ruffling his locks. The older boy got up and said, “Taemin-ah, you sleep too much, just like Snorlax.”

“What Snorlax?!” Taemin’s eyes flew open and was ready to tackle his older cousin when he realized Jinki had already ran into the bathroom, the sound of his laughter trailing behind him as he slammed the door shut. “Tsk.”

His eyes automatically drifted to the other person in the room. Kibum was standing at the dressing table, putting something on with a smile on his face. It was only when he went to sit down on the bed near Taemin and started to dry his hair that the younger boy could see what it is. A silver bracelet with a key pendant hanging from it.

“Kibum-hyung, is this bracelet from Jinki-hyung?” Taemin asked as he crawled closer to Kibum.

Kibum stopped his actions, a shy smile creeping onto his lips. Even before he nodded his head in response, Taemin already knew the answer. It must be, he thought, doesn’t Jinki-hyung call Kibum-hyung Key?

“How are the two of you so loving, I really don’t understand it. Doesn’t Jinki-hyung ever piss you off?” Taemin asked, truly curious. He knows that Jinki is kind and caring and all of that, but surely they disagree sometimes like all couples do?

Kibum laughed. He was looking fondly at the bracelet on his wrist. “No. Or at least, not yet.”

At the blissful look on Kibum’s face, an idea came to Taemin.

“Hyung-ah.” Taemin was careful to keep his voice low so Jinki wouldn’t hear. But judging by the way the older boy was humming some random song in the shower, he wasn’t paying attention to the conversation outside of the bathroom at all.

Kibum turned to Taemin, eyebrows raised and face expectant.

“Remember our plan for the surprise?”

Kibum nodded. The initial plan was for Kibum to bring Jinki out somewhere to stall for time while the rest of the family go and get all the necessary things for the surprise and decorate the room.  The trouble is, Kibum didn’t yet know what he would do and if he could buy enough time for the family to complete preparations. He knew that much as Jinki liked to spend time with him alone, he wouldn’t want to leave his family’s side for too long. It was after all, a family vacation.

“I haven’t thought about what to do yet…” Kibum said, a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. He was probably aware and pressurized by the fact that the success of the surprise was almost wholly dependent on how well he managed to keep Jinki away until the right time.

“No, hyung, you see? This is it!” Taemin bounced on the bed excitedly before he remembered that he should keep it down and clapped his hands to his mouth, listening for any changes from the bathroom.

Nothing. The water was still running and Jinki was still humming some song Taemin didn’t recognize.

Kibum’s brows were bunched up in confusion, clearly not getting his idea.

“The bracelet! You can pretend that you dropped it outside, and make him go look for it with you. Take it off and keep it in your pocket or something. And when I give you the green light, just drop it on the ground somewhere near and act like you found it. It’ll work!” Taemin explained quietly and looked at Kibum hopefully, waiting for his go-ahead. He was confident that it would play out just nice and it should give them as much time as they needed.

“Really?” Kibum looked a bit doubtful at first, but then his frown slowly faded and he smiled. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

“It’s going to be awesome, Kibum-hyung!” Taemin gripped Kibum’s shoulders in his barely-contained excitement then quickly pressed his index finger to his lips when the bathroom door swung open, signaling the end of their discussion.

“Did I miss anything?” Jinki smiled at his boys and asked.

“Nope! Let’s go out and watch TV, hyung! I think there’s a rerun of Harry Potter on!” Taemin seamlessly guided them all out of the room. He sent a cheeky grin in Kibum’s direction as they joined Jinki’s parents in the sitting room.

Project Surprise-Jinki: All set and ready to go.

 

***

 

Jinki jerked awake in the middle of his sleep to his phone vibrating on his stomach. If there was anything that woke him up quickly and effectively – and rudely too, he can add – it had to be continuous vibrations.

Wait, why is my phone even here? Jinki thought as he grabbed the offending device on his body while trying to keep his eyes open. His mind was cloudy from deep sleep as he squinted at the display on his phone’s screen.

Incoming call…

Key

What? It was only then that Jinki realized Key was not lying beside him on the bed. Taemin was fast asleep on his other side; oblivious to the world, but Key’s side of the bed was empty and cold. Suddenly worried that something had happened to his boyfriend, he flipped his phone open and answered the call.

“Key? Baby, where are you?”

There was a soft sound of chuckling from the other end of the line. “Baby! Go to the window of our room now, bballi bballi!” Key’s excited voice rang through to his ears.

“Huh?” Jinki answered, confused but still got up slowly. He relaxed hearing Key’s tone of voice, at least he didn’t sound hurt or in distress. But really it was 12.36am, he checked, what was Key doing outside at this time?

He walked towards the window, standing by it and glancing out.

“Look down!” Key’s voice came again. He did as was told, and then he was rendered completely speechless by what he was looking at.

A huge heart shape formed with blazing candles was on the ground outside their window. The sight was so beautiful that Jinki lost his ability to speak for awhile. Mouth hanging agape, he could only stare.

Their room was on the third floor, so it was still close enough to ground level that Jinki could see everything clearly. He opened the window and stuck his head out in the cold night air. Key was standing at the top end of the heart, waving up at him with a big smile. He hung up the phone and called up to Jinki.

“Saengil chukhahae, Onew-yah!”

In an instant, Jinki felt strange tears pricking at his eyes, and he covered his mouth with one hand. This has got to be the most romantic thing anybody ever did for him. The most romantic thing by Key’s standards, by anybody’s standards really, Jinki doesn’t care.

“Come down!” Key was hopping and waving Jinki down. Without another moment of hesitation, Jinki pushed the window shut again, grabbed a jacket and tried to run quietly through the apartment so as not to wake the rest of his family up. Once outside their hotel room, he sprinted all the way down the stairs and to the concrete clearing outside the building. Key was standing right in front of him, with the heart made of candles behind him and Jinki ran right into his open arms, hugging his boyfriend tightly.

“Saengil chukhahae, baby. I love you.” Key whispered, giving Jinki a peck on the side of his face.

“Thank you, baby. Thank you so much for this, really. I love you too. I can’t even tell you how much you mean to me. I just... I really love you so much.” Jinki tightened their embrace and his words came tumbling out, muffled against the shoulder of Key’s jacket, which was just as well because he felt that words were failing him at the moment. He didn’t know what to say that could justify the surging emotions in his heart, how to let Key know that he’s really the most precious person to him.

“I know. Come on baby, let’s sit down. I have something for you.” Key patted Jinki’s back and took his hand to lead him into the heart of candles when they finally broke apart from their hug. The pair sat down side by side right in the middle of the heart where a small box was set on the ground.

It felt so magical, having all the flickering candle lights surrounding him, their heat radiating and weak flame bouncing off and lighting up the ground. It was as if he was living a scene out of one of those impossibly clichéd love stories, where the man pursuing the protagonist would serenade her at her window with a bunch of flowers.

“What’s this?” Jinki was about to reach for the box when he was stopped by Key, and the younger boy took the box himself. When he opened it up, Jinki could see a slice of chocolate cake with small red hearts iced all over it. Key quickly lighted a spare candle, putting it in place on the cake, and held the box out to Jinki.

“Make a wish, birthday boy!” Key was smiling sweetly at him, and Jinki was so entranced by his beautiful face that was illuminated by the soft glow of the candle light, he didn’t know how he eventually managed to force his eyelids shut.

Clasping his hands together, Jinki began to make his wish.

Hey, dear whoever-grants-wishes, it’s me again. I know I never really got around to thanking you for letting Key fall in love with me, so thank you, for letting him find his happiness in me. I will always love him, protect him and be there for him as long as I can. So can I ask for another wish? If forever exists… Can you take us there? It’ll be nice if you can grant me this wish… Thank you.

He opened his eyes and blew the single candle out, at the same time noticing that Key was staring at him intently. The younger boy didn’t say anything however, but just removed the extinguished candle from the cake and handed the box back to Jinki.

“Don’t you want to know what I wished for?” Jinki asked. He thought that Key would certainly bug him to tell him his wish, but the younger boy was busy picking up the plastic fork from inside the box and showing no curiosity towards what he had wished for.

“No. I want your wish to come true.” Key smiled, handing the fork to Jinki. “Whatever it is, it must be a good thing, and I want it to come true.”

 

“Stand up, Onew-yah.” Key said as he put the empty cake box down and stood up.

“Oh? Wae?” Jinki asked, bewildered, but he got to his feet anyway.

“Now close your eyes and hold your right hand out.”  Key said, not answering Jinki’s question. Jinki did as he was told, wondering what Key was up to. Well, he was probably going to give him a present, right?

“No peeking!” Key said in a warning tone and Jinki laughed.

“Okay, I’m not peeking.”

He waited to feel something touch his palm; whatever it was that Key was going to give to him. But instead, he felt Key’s hand close around his wrist and turning it so his palm was facing down. He could hear his boyfriend’s giggles and then, something cold slipping into his finger.

“You can look now.”

Jinki opened his eyes and looked at his right hand, where a silver band was now fitted snugly on his ring finger. He turned his hand from front to back, then to the front again, examining the simple silver ring. Glancing at Key with a slightly confused look, the younger boy giggled again and stepped closer to him.

“It’s a couple ring, Onew-yah. I know this is a bit too premature; we haven’t been together long enough to justify getting us this, but I honestly felt like we could go on for a long time, you know? Maybe forever.” Key’s voice was soft, and he seemed a bit shy. But he was looking at Jinki earnestly, like he was hoping Jinki felt the same way too.

Forever. That was what he’d wished for just awhile ago.

Jinki knew that Key was not one who was big on promising unrealistic futures. If anything, Key even seemed afraid of them and had never asked for such promises from him. So he really couldn’t say that he was not extremely ecstatic at hearing what Key said.

He pulled Key into his arms, touched beyond anything else. “We will, baby. We will.”

“Where’s yours?” Jinki asked a moment later, when he realized he hasn’t seen the matching ring on Key’s hands.

Key reached into his pocket, producing a tiny black velvet box which he handed to Jinki. The older boy found an identical ring nestled on the white leatherette inserts. “Lee Jinki & Kim Kibum. 051010 to forever.” was engraved on the inside of the ring and he knows the one he was wearing must have the same words. When Jinki took it out of the box, he was surprised to find a fine silver chain connected to the ring.

“I’m going to wear mine as a necklace. Can you put it on for me?” Key asked, smiling, and Jinki obliged.

Carefully lowering it over Key’s head, he fastened the clasp securely and turned Key back around. With his hands still resting on the younger boy’s shoulders, Jinki leaned in to kiss him. Key’s lips still tasted of the chocolate cake that they took turns feeding each other just now, and it was a little chapped from the cold, but it still felt wonderful.

 

The candles had long burned out by the time the couple lay down on the cold concrete, none too eager to return to bed despite the late hour. Their intertwined fingers were resting atop Key’s stomach, and they both stared at the clusters of stars lighting up the night sky.

 “Key-ah, why are you wearing your ring as a necklace?” Jinki asked when he saw Key his ring with his free hand.

“Hmm… I just thought rings aren’t really appropriate for students, and it might be dirtied or damaged since I work with my hands so much. As for you…” Key paused and turned his head to look at Jinki.

“You’re graduating really soon, and when you go out to work I want all the girls out there to know that you’re taken. Otherwise with these troublemaking eyes of yours...” He made a face and poked Jinki’s cheek.

Jinki couldn’t help but laugh. “You worry too much, baby. I’m yours, through and through.”

Key only smiled and turned back to face the sky.

“When you graduate… D’you think things are going to be very different? D’you think we’ll still have time to see each other all the time like now? What about our coffee dates and Saturday dinners? I can’t imagine not being able to sleep beside you every other night, or a few nights in a row, not being in your arms, and having no one around to calm me when I have nightmares. Just the thought of not having you near makes me feel scared…” Key was rambling like he was lost in his own thoughts, his voice getting smaller and smaller with each sentence. Jinki watched him speaking about the future, an unfamiliar fear slowly creeping into his heart.

While it was the truth that he was graduating in just a bit more than two months, he hasn’t thought too much about the days ahead. Days that he now knew he has to spend apart from Key, the only one who made his everyday okay regardless of how horrible it could be sometimes. It seemed too foreign an idea, and it scared him.

He was afraid.

About one week before school let out for winter break, Jinki’s parents called him about a letter they received in the post. He was head-hunted for a key position in a multi-national corporation. Such instances were not rare for students of SNU, and it should not come as a surprise to Jinki, who have always been on top of his academics and had a fantastic portfolio.

All would probably be fine and dandy if not for the fact that should he choose to take up the offer, he would most likely have to live abroad for several years, away from his family and friends. Away from Key. He remembered tucking that letter somewhere into his backpack when he met his parents for the holiday. He wasn’t required to make a decision until his graduation, and so he didn’t deliberate much more over it.

He thought about what Key had said, about the job, their future together and wondered where it would all lead to.  Perhaps wanting to know his boyfriend’s take on it, Jinki decided it was as good a time now as any to let Key know about the offer.

“Baby…” He started, and he waited for Key to turn to him before continuing.

“I… I got a job offer awhile ago, from one of the big corporations here. They want me as their economic strategy consultant, whatever that is…” Jinki trailed off, uncertain at how to bring in the main point of the discussion.

“Wow, that’s great!” Key’s face lit up with delight, which later turned into a questioning expression when he realized Jinki wasn’t so thrilled. “Isn’t it?”

Jinki took a deep breath and forced a smile. “Yeah, it is. It’s just that… they might need me to live abroad. For at least three to four years.”

“Where?” The younger boy asked after a brief pause, his brows were knitted together and his voice even smaller than before but he held Jinki’s hand tighter, pressing it to his stomach as if afraid that Jinki would disappear if he did not hold on tight enough.

“I don’t know, they haven’t specified. The corporation has companies in several countries, so it could be any of them. Japan, China, India, Singapore.”

There was silence as Key took in the information. When he finally spoke again, there was a slight quiver in his voice.

“Well, I think you should take it.”

Jinki wasn’t sure he had heard right. The younger boy was usually rather clingy and dependent on him, so he had expected all the “Don’t go, Onew-yah.” and “Don’t leave me alone here, Onew-yah.” he certainly couldn’t say he had seen this coming.

“You’re okay with it? Me living miles away from you in another country, for four years?” Somehow, Jinki’s heart sank, but he asked anyway, to be sure that Key had meant what he said and it wasn’t actually a remark of sarcasm that he had failed to pick up.

Key smiled somewhat sadly. His eyes were now fixed on the dark blanket above that was the sky, not looking at Jinki.

“No, if I have to be honest, I’m not okay with it. But if you think about it in another way, it might be something good for both of us. You get a good job in a prestigious company, and I’ll focus on my final years in the university. I know things will be hard without you around, but I guess I’ll learn to manage. And when I graduate, I’ll still have another couple of years to work out and stabilise my own career. Then we… We’ll take it from there.” There was a squeeze at his hand, and somehow Jinki felt like Key was really trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince him.

“Besides,” Key continued. “I can’t be selfish and keep you by my side all the time. Onew-yah, you’re born to do greater things, you know that right? You’re brilliant. So I’m going to let you go and do what you should, and the both of us can grow to be even better for each other. Sounds good?”

Not really, Jinki thought. But he answered “Just let me think about it a little more.”

He didn’t want to leave Key at all.

Jinki leaned over to kiss Key’s cheek, and then rested his head on Key’s chest. Listening to his boyfriend’s steady heartbeat and feeling his hair being gently, he decided to evade having to make a choice for now. Then, he realized that Key was trembling slightly. It was already too cold out.

“Baby, you’re cold. Come on, let’s get back now.” Jinki held Key’s hand and pulled him to his feet.

He is going to hold Key in his arms tonight until he falls asleep, he doesn’t care what Key says or who’s around, he’s going to his hair and kiss his forehead goodnight. Just tonight, Jinki will ignore all other things and hold him again like he always does and then they will drift off to sleep, together.

 

***

 

So somehow, as if being a top-performing student and drop-dead-hot drummer wasn’t already enough, Onew turned out to extremely skilled at skiing as well.

Kibum wondered just how many other secret talents his boyfriend was hiding.

Pfft. That’s not fair. He huffed as he walked to the wooden benches near their hotel entrance. It was just awhile more till lunch and Kibum, feeling cold and utterly drained of energy, decided to take a break and wait for them to be done.

The trio’s session in the morning involved a lot of flailing on his part, and him trying to find his balance on the skies. Onew was perfectly patient with him, showing him the correct way to move forward, steer and to slow down to a halt, but Kibum had only made little progress after nearly three hours. That was when he concluded that skiing was just not for him, and he left Onew and Taemin to it.

Apparently, it wasn’t the cousins’ first time skiing. They’ve had sufficient practice during their younger winter years and, although Onew seemed a little rusty at it as compared to Taemin at first, they both quickly picked up and were displaying their true prowess at the sport.

From where he was sitting, Onew and Taemin were but small specks on the top of the slope, it was almost impossible to tell them apart from all the rest of the skiers in their multi-coloured gear. It was only when they were both zooming at top speed down the slope can Kibum see him clearly. His red beanie, fringe tousled by the wind sticking out, ski goggles, and a wide gleaming beam.

They looked like they were having such fun. Taemin attempted to do some sort of a drift when they neared the foot of the slope, resulting in a spray of snow in Onew’s direction and the older boy took off after him immediately. Kibum smiled and waved to them when they picked their stuff up and joined the queue at the ski lifts for another round at the lower slopes.

“Kibum-ah, why aren’t you skiing with them?” A voice came from behind Kibum, and he turned to find Onew’s mother smiling kindly at him. She took a seat beside him and waved at the cousins when she caught their eye.

“Oh, annyeong haseyo, eomeonim. I’m not very good at skiing, so I thought I’ll just leave Jinki-hyung and Taeminnie to it.” Kibum smiled shyly and said.

Onew’s mother chuckled, her eyes on the boys who were getting onto their ski lifts. “The boys have always loved to ski. When they were younger, they would bug us to bring them on skiing trips and they’ll go rounds and rounds of it without getting tired… I blame it on my old man.”

Kibum watched her talk about her family with such adoration in her eyes, and he was suddenly curious about whether Onew’s parents have always been this accepting about their son’s relationship with another boy, which was otherwise deemed as abnormal to the rest of the world. Even to his own father.   

“Eomeonim… When you and apeonim first knew about Jinki-hyung and I, were you… were you okay with it?” Kibum hesitated before asking, somehow finding himself afraid of the answer. He doesn’t know how it felt like from a parent’s point of view if your only son confessed to be gay, but if they had indeed been fine with it from the start, then where does that leave him? Kibum needed something to reinforce his belief that his father would come around one day, that his own father will not become the insurmountable obstacle standing in the way of his happiness.

The older woman chuckled lightly. “I wouldn’t say we were not okay with it… But it certainly came as a surprise. Jinki is our only son, and surely you know what people will say, family and outsiders alike… It isn’t easy, but no matter what, Jinki is still our son. He’s a good son, a sensible person, so we could only trust that he knows what he is doing and he will really be happy. And if he says he wants to be with a boy, then so be it. If we as his family can’t accept him for who he is and give him support, then who else will? Who else does he have? Absolutely no one.”

Kibum was suddenly aware of how weary Onew’s mother looked. How hard it must have been defending her only son against the things that friends and relatives might say, but still she stood by him. They all stood by him.

Although she said it kindly, her words felt like heavy weights tied around Kibum’s heart.

Why can’t appa think this way? Kibum fell silent in his thoughts, wishing that his father could be just a little more understanding.

“And I’m glad we did, Kibum-ah. You really changed our Jinki so much.”

“I-I did?” Kibum looked up to find the older woman smiling at him.

“I haven’t seen Jinki being so open with us, ever. He used to kind of reserved about everything, and he didn’t have much to share about school whenever he came back for the holidays, until once he came home talking about a boy called Kibum. Things changed from there. He was more passionate about things and he just seemed… alive. I guess I could say that you brought him to life, Kibum-ah.” Onew’s mother paused for awhile, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose before she continued. “We never asked him about it, assuming you guys were just best friends. So when he finally came to us about your relationship awhile ago, we just couldn’t go against it. For someone who has the capability of making our Jinki come to life, how could we say no?”

Listening to what she said, Kibum was so touched, but upset at the same time. He hung his head in part-guilt and part-shame. It was crazy, the way things are. How he was already on a vacation with his boyfriend’s family but yet his own had yet to even acknowledge their relationship.

“Eomeonim, I’m sorry. I’m sorry my family can’t give Jinki-hyung the same kind of recognition and treatment that you and apeonim have given me. My appa is against our relationship… I’m so sorry, eomeonim. It shouldn’t be like this…” Kibum exhaled heavily, swallowing back the lump that had formed in his throat. He should have seen all of this coming anyway.

The truth was that, from the day that he was sure he didn’t swing the same way as normal boys did, he already knew that his relationships are going to be put through a whole lot of criticisms and condemnation. He never thought that it would matter, as long as he had the one he loved. But now that he was really in a position where disapproval from others could stop him from staying together with his love, it really mattered. In fact, it was almost all that mattered. How sad was it if he only wanted Onew and yet he was the only one he can’t have?

Much to Kibum’s relief, Onew’s mother was not the least bit unhappy about the fact that her son was not accepted by his boyfriend’s family. Instead, she shifted closer to him and Kibum let her pull him into her arms.

“Don’t be sorry, Kibum-ah, nobody is at fault now. It’s not wrong to love somebody, even if it doesn’t go by what people see as normal. It would take time for your appa to come around, but he will. Trust me that he will. You are still his son, and he wants only the best for you, he doesn’t want you to make the wrong decisions. Our society is still not so open about this, so you will have to be strong and bear with it… You still have the rest of your family. You have our Jinki, and you have us. We will protect you, arasso? Don’t worry now…” Kibum allowed the older woman to coax his fears away bit by bit. It felt comforting and safe. It felt like a mother’s love for her child, pure and strong.

“Thank you, eomeonim. I will stay strong, for myself and for Jinki-hyung too.” Kibum, feeling empowered, raised his head and smiled.

“You’re a brave boy, Kibum-ah. I’m glad our Jinki chose you.” She ruffled his hair gently then added “Shall we go and get them for lunch now?”

“Ne.” Kibum answered, feeling infinitely better.

They stood up and started for the ski lift station when he saw that Onew and Taemin were already making their way back.

So they all went back to the hotel to get Onew’s father, who was resting in the room, out for lunch. Taemin sneakily came up beside Kibum and whispered, “We can start the plan soon!”

The younger boy winked at him before walking away, as if nothing has transpired between them.

 

Kibum’s second attempt at skiing was a smoother one. He had managed to keep from falling over and was actually doing well moving forward and speeding up, but he was still having some problems with doing proper turns or stopping.

He had taken the bracelet off and tucked it in the pocket of his padded jacket after lunch when Onew was not paying attention. His now-bare wrist was easy to hide under the long sleeves of his clothes, so it was hardly noticeable to anyone else. The plan was that he would ‘realise’ that he had lost the bracelet when the family is about to head out for dinner and he will go into a blind frenzy trying to look for it. Knowing his boyfriend, Onew would go along with him to search for the bracelet, leaving the rest of the Lee family all the time they needed to put everything in place for the surprise.

Kibum stole a glance at Onew as the three of them began to join the queue at the ski lifts again. It was almost mid-day of his birthday and neither his parents nor Taemin had wished him, pretending to have forgotten the occasion. Yet, Onew was so nonchalant about it; it was as if he was doing an even better job at pretending he doesn’t know it is his own birthday than the others.

“Hyung! Let’s race!” Taemin suggested as they were waiting in line.

“Well, I’m fine with that… Key-ah, you?” Onew asked, his voice laced with concern. Kibum knew that his boyfriend was just so protective of him like that, and he knows that he hasn’t quite mastered the art of skiing like Onew and Taemin yet, but surely he can handle going straight down a slope? It wasn’t even a very difficult or steep one, and the path was completely straight, precisely meant for beginners to practice with.

“Okay, I’m okay with it, but to be fair you guys have to give me a head start!” Kibum said as he strapped himself in the ski lift with Onew beside and Taemin getting on the one behind.

“No problem!” The pair agreed unanimously.

They took their positions at the top of the slope, Kibum in middle with Onew and Taemin on either side of him in case he went off course and drifted too far off in one direction.

“We’ll start three seconds after you okay?” Onew asked and gave him a thumbs-up.

Kibum nodded, took a deep breath and pushed off.

“Whoooo~!” He let out a loud cheer as he zoomed down the slope. The speed and the feeling of the cold wind against his face were addictive. He could understand why Onew and Taemin never got sick of going rounds on the slopes, because now it was getting to him too.

Kibum focused on going straight. He was picking up speed and must be already halfway or further down the slope, but he was sure Onew and Taemin would be on his tail in a matter of seconds.

Taking a ninja glance behind, he saw that although there was still some distance between them, Onew was closing in on him and Taemin was following closely behind. When he turned his eyes back, he was shocked to find another skier had gone off his own course and had stopped in his path.

“Yah! Get out of the way!” Kibum yelled frantically. He was in too much of a panic to care about being polite.

The skier turned, a kid younger than Taemin, with a stricken face at the oncoming danger of crashing and tried to move away.

“, , !” Kibum was getting closer and closer now but the other skier was probably a novice like himself because the rate that he was moving out of the way was excruciatingly slow and Kibum was certain he’s going to crash into the kid.

He knew he had to do something, and fast. Summoning all his memory of Onew’s lessons on steering, he leaned his weight on his right thigh and tried to maintain his balance. He careened passed the left of the other skier, missing him only narrowly and then crashed hard into the snow.

“Ow.” Kibum lay in the snow, not moving for a bit. His head hurt quite a bit but he doesn’t think much other damage had been done.

In mere moments, Onew was beside him and carefully helping him to a sitting position.

“Oh my god, baby are you okay?!”

Kibum took a good look at the unadulterated worry on Onew’s face and actually laughed. “My head hurts but I’m alive. Baby did you see that? I made a turn!” Kibum said weakly before feeling his head go woozy. Maybe the snow wasn’t as soft as it looked.

“Does anything else hurt? How many fingers am I holding up?” Onew kept him sitting and waved a hand in front of his eyes which Kibum couldn’t focus on.

“No, just my head. To be honest, I’m a little dizzy.” He mumbled and let himself lean into Onew’s chest.

“Hyung, let’s get him back for some rest. I’ll return the equipment.” Taemin suggested and then Kibum felt arms hoisting him up. He was vaguely aware of dragging his feet across the snow and getting into someplace warmer. Later, he felt himself lying on something soft which he assumed must be their bed.

“Sleep.” Onew’s gentle voice said and he felt him kiss his forehead.

Kibum did.

 

When he woke up again, it was already dark outside. Kibum felt sore, but at least his head wasn’t hurting so badly anymore. He winced when his fingertips brushed past a sizeable bump near his hairline that must have formed from the crash.

Onew was lying beside him, asleep on their bed and Kibum lifted a hand tentatively, Onew’s soft brown hair. The older boy fidgeted a little and then jolted awake as if he hadn’t meant to fall asleep.

“Oh, baby you’re up. Are you feeling better?” Onew gently swept Kibum’s hair away from the bump on his head and asked.

“I’m okay now, baby. Sorry I made you worried.” Kibum smiled and pecked Onew’s lips.

“Is Kibum-hyung awake ye– Oh, you are. Let’s go out for dinner?” Taemin appeared in the doorway with Kibum’s and his own jacket hanging over his arm, and that was when Kibum remembered the plan.

“Yeah, okay. I’m starving…” Kibum stretched his arms and then gasped loudly. The actor in him sprang into action as he stared blankly at his empty wrist.

“M-my bracelet! It’s gone!” He cried and began to paw around the pillows and sheets on the bed, doing an excellent job at acting like he had only just realized it was gone.

Onew was still sitting in the same spot on the bed with a stunned expression, just looking at Kibum go mad.

“Damn it, it’s not here. It has to be here somewhere…” Kibum continued the charade, pretending to be panicking badly, and Taemin joined in the act shortly.

“Hyung, could you have dropped it outside?”

“Oh my gosh, I don’t know! Aish, how could I not have noticed?!” He ruffled his hair irritably and continued, “Okay, wait here, I’ll be right back.” Kibum held out his hand, signaling Onew and Taemin to stay put, but he was 100% sure that Onew would insist on going with him and thus fall nicely into their plan.

“Key-ah, let me go with you. You just had a knock on your head, I can’t let you go out alone.”

Bingo!

Onew was already scrambling to his feet and Kibum had to suppress a smile at how predictable he is.

“Alright, let’s go. Taemin-ah, please ask eomeonim and apeonim to wait for us, okay? We won’t be long. I hope.” Kibum scrunched his eyebrows up in worry. He should really have majored in theatrical studies or something; he was such a natural at acting.

“We will.” Taemin kept a straight face and handed him his jacket and the couple went out of the hotel room quickly. Now, Kibum will have to bring Onew around the places they have been to in the day which was away from where the rest of the family will go to get the things they needed. They had it all planned down to the smallest details.

It was almost funny, they way they were rooting around all the unlikeliest of places for something that wasn’t even really lost. Kibum felt bad for putting his boyfriend through this on his birthday, but he reminded himself that it was for a greater good.

It must have been at least half an hour later when they were both tired of getting on all fours and feeling under display shelves and walking all around. He didn’t forget to pretend to be increasingly frantic to the point of tears when their search yielded nothing. Finally, Taemin’s text came.

1 New Message: Taeminnie (14-12-10 6.22pm)

Hyung, we’re ready ;)

Kibum let out a tiny sigh of relief and reached into his pocket, preparing to stealthily drop the bracelet when Onew wasn’t looking. However, his heart jolted violently in his chest when his fingers hit the bare nylon corners of his jacket’s pocket.

He turned both his pockets out and shook them a little. When nothing fell out, that was when he really started to panic, a sickening feeling spreading in the pit of his stomach.

Holy. . Kibum’s mind went blank for a moment before he suddenly recalled his hard fall. Could it have fallen out of his pocket when he slammed into the snow earlier? The pocket of his jacket wasn’t that deep actually; it seemed likely.

Onew was just getting to his feet from looking under some obscure corner and Kibum tugged on his arm roughly.

“Onew-yah, I think I dropped it on the ski slopes when I fell just now. Can we go there?” His voice came out a bit more shakily than he intended. This was a joke gone wrong, he can’t have lost that bracelet. Kibum felt like he was really about to cry when Onew picked up a call.

“Key, baby, we have to go back. Appa, umma and Taemin are hungry already. Anyway, we wouldn’t be allowed on the ski slopes like this. It’s dangerous.” Onew coaxed him gently but Kibum wasn’t going to let it go just like this.

“No, baby please! We have to go and get it! Please.” He whimpered desperately, wishing that Onew would give in.

“Baby, there’s no way we’ll be able to find it in all the snow. It’s okay, I’ll buy you another one, ne? Come on, don’t pout. Smile for me, it’s my birthday.” The older boy brought him into an embrace, rubbing his back soothingly. When they pulled apart, Kibum saw that Onew was making a cute pouty face at him and he couldn’t help but smile.

Reluctantly, Kibum allowed the older boy to lead them back towards their hotel room, bitterness spreading in his heart. He should never have agreed to Taemin’s idea. None of this would have happened if he had not taken the bracelet off in the first place.

Despite his heavy heart that he was sure had already sunk to his feet, Kibum tried to keep his spirits light because he didn’t want Onew to be upset too. And no matter what, at the very least the surprise would be successful, right?

He fell back in his steps as they approached their room, letting Onew open the door. Once the older boy pushed the door open, Kibum could see that was pitch black inside. All the lights were off and the apartment was so quiet it felt as if no one was inside.

Onew stepped in and looked around in confusion. Kibum bit back a snigger at the expression on his boyfriend’s face. The fun was at last, starting.

“Where’s everyone?” Onew said into the darkness and as if on cue, Taemin walked out from the adults’ room with a cake in his hands, his face lit up by the candle light. In the dim light, Kibum saw Onew’s parents join Taemin and everyone burst into a chorus of the birthday song.

“Saengil chukha hamnida~ Saengil chukha hamnida~”

“Omo, omo!” Onew who was surprised speechless recovered from the shock and covered his mouth with his hands, a look of pure delight on his face.

“Sarang haneun uri Jinki~ Saengil chukha hamnida!” There were cheers and claps and Onew’s father walked right up to him and snapped a party hat over his head, while Taemin followed with the cake, holding it out to him.

The lights flicked back on.

“Make a wish, Jinki-hyung!”

Kibum watched his love wish for what he was sure, are the most precious things in this life. His closed eyes, lips curled up at the corners, and stubby fingers clasped together were all beautiful to Kibum. Yet, although he did feel happy that the surprise had gone so well, the feeling of loss and regret was hard to block out.

“I thought all of you forgot! I was so sad!” Onew was pouting after he’d blown out the candles.

“We were just waiting to spring the surprise on you, Jinki-yah. And Kibum is the most important person for the success~” His mother pinched his cheeks and led them all to the dining area, which was indeed, albeit simple, well decorated. A large banner that screamed “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” was hanging on the wall, and colourful balloons were stuck around it. The dining table was filled with takeaway food, all of which must be Onew’s favourites.

“So everything was planned? I really have to give it to you for your acting though, Key-ah, but I’m so tired from running around trying to find the bracelet, you’ll have to make it up to me~” Onew pulled Kibum closer to him after he was done with cutting the cake.

That dreadful feeling rose up in Kibum’s chest again. How was he going to get away with this now?

“O-Onew-yah… It was meant to be a joke, b-but I really lost it. I kept it in my pocket but I think it fell out when I crashed while skiing.” Kibum’s voice was so small when he said that and his lower lip jutted out involuntarily. He still couldn’t believe how wrong things went.

“Aniyo, Kibum-hyung, you didn’t lose it.” Taemin suddenly looked up from stuffing his face with cake and grinned cheekily.

“Wh–” Kibum could hardly ask what Taemin meant when the younger boy reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the silver chain.

“I pinched it from your jacket when you were knocked out just now. I just thought it would be more realistic if you thought you lost it for real.”  Taemin snickered and shrugged, handing the bracelet back to Kibum.

Relief flooded Kibum at the sight of the bracelet, the weights on his heart fading away. He was half annoyed that the maknae decided to do such a thing to him without his prior knowledge, but at the same time he couldn’t get angry since he did it for the sake of the surprise too. In the end, he just pressed a hand on his chest and heaved a sigh of relief. Onew took the bracelet back from Taemin and proceeded to put it back on Kibum’s wrist.

“Gosh, thank god I didn’t really lose it...” Kibum just mumbled to himself amidst the rest who were busy opening up the food packages or eating cake.

“I didn’t know it meant so much to you.” Onew said softly when he was done with the bracelet, chuckling lightly as regarded his boyfriend lovingly.

“Of course it does, pabo. It’s from you.” He hit Onew on the arm and made a face at him, but then smiled.

Onew led him to sit down at the dining table with the rest of his family and they dug in, laughter and light conversation in the air, providing a nice and warm conclusion to his rollercoaster ride of a day.

 

***

 

People always said that time flies when you’re having fun, and Jinki had never felt the extent of the truth in that saying more than right now.

It was already the final morning of their vacation and they would be on the way home in just a few hours’ time. He was up early, well not really up considering he was still lying in bed with Key in his arms. Taemin had rolled to the far side of the bed, pushing a pillow off to the ground in his sleep.

Jinki had enjoyed himself so much over the last few days he really didn’t want to go home yet. It’s been a while since his family went for a vacation together. In fact, the last time they went was before he had enrolled in SNU, his busy schedules always getting in the way of them doing so. This time, he was so glad they all had the chance to take a break from school and work and life in general and just had fun. He was so glad Key came along, too.

The boys had a movie marathon last night after the adults had gone to bed, it was as though they were trying to put off the arrival of the next day and essentially the end of their vacation by extending the night.

They were all snuggled up on the comfy sofa with the lights off and snacks to pass between them. While Key was flinching in discomfort and covering his eyes at the really gory parts of Saw (that their maknae picked out), Taemin was laughing and obviously enjoying himself awhile Jinki wondered if his cousin was actually secretly a sadist. By the time they reached the last movie, it was past three in the morning and Taemin had already fallen asleep with his head in Jinki’s lap while Key was struggling to keep his eyes open. So they turned the TV off and Jinki carried Taemin into their room with Key trailing behind, pulling on the hem of Jinki’s shirt.

So it’s ending here.

Key stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes just a crack before closing them again. Jinki smiled at his boyfriend’s cute actions and leaned in to peck his cheek.

“You’re up already? Did you sleep well?”

“Hmm… I’m tired…” Key murmured, seemingly falling back into sleep. So Jinki just held him closer and let him sleep.

After a short while, Key woke up again and looked at Jinki with sleepy eyes.

“Why are you up so early baby? We went to bed so late…” The younger boy buried his face deeper into the front of Jinki’s shirt, his arms around Jinki’s torso tightening their hold as consciousness slowly seeped back into him.

“I don’t know, I just woke up on my own. Sleep some more if you’re still tired, baby. There’s still a couple of hours before we have to get up…” Jinki cooed quietly as he ran his hand through Key’s hair in slow, gentle .

“Hmm… I don’t want to go home yet, Onew baby…” Key whined, snuggling closer and closer to Jinki, like he really didn’t want to let go.

Jinki let out a happy sigh. He didn’t want to go home either, if it meant being apart from his Key. But they have already spent a solid five days together and he knew he should be contented with what he had. They can’t go around being joined at the hip 24/7, even though that sounded like a nice idea.

“Key-ah.” Jinki called, waiting for his boyfriend’s response to confirm that he had not drifted back to sleep. 

“...hmm?” Key hummed a faint response as he turned his head up to look at the older boy with questioning eyes.

“I know you’re going to say that I’m being cheesy again but I really kind of wish that we can stay like this forever.” Jinki said, expecting Key to roll his eyes at him or hit him in the chest. Yet, he was looking at the soft eyes and shy smile of his love that made his heart brim every time.

Slowly, Key pushed himself upwards on the bed, closer to Jinki’s face, all traces of sleepiness gone from his features. When their faces were finally level, Key looked at him right in the eyes and Jinki felt himself stop breathing for a moment.

“I wish too, baby. I do.” He breathed the words out like the soft autumn breeze, one hand caressing the side of Jinki’s face.

Without any more words, Jinki leaned forward and pressed their lips together, only their second real kiss in awhile. Jinki realized he missed kissing his boyfriend like this, and it was just somewhat funny because, how do you even miss someone who was always around? Still, even though they spent every waking moment, and even the times when they are asleep, together, they didn’t exactly have the time or privacy for anything more than the chaste pecks and kisses that don’t last for more than a second, save for that night of his birthday when they were outside the hotel alone.

Things got heated as their kiss deepened; it was no longer so gentle or slow-paced like always. Key’s lips were soft as ever and intoxication. Intoxication is all he feels every time those perfect lips are on his. Jinki can’t think, he can’t breathe, he can’t do anything but kiss Key back with the same fervor he didn’t know they had. He was almost lost in the need, the rush of blood to his head, and the euphoria coming from the unexpectedly intense kiss.

They were cautious, however. Occasionally looking up at the side of the bed where Taemin lay, they made sure he was still unconscious to what was happening around him. Jinki couldn’t believe how his little cousin could continue to sleep when they were making such obscene sounds of lip-. Sounds that would make him turn red with embarrassment on other days. And when they heard sounds that might signal either of his parents’ arrival, they sprang apart at lightning speed and pretended to be asleep, before giggling at each other and continuing where they left off when it proved to be a false alarm.

Jinki wasn’t sure how their kiss led to a full-blown make out session. A part of his brain wondered if they should be doing this when they finally part for air, but when Key just smiled coyly at him and goes in to capture his lips once again he couldn’t do anything but let the thoughts dissolve and submit himself.

In their urgency – for what, he doesn’t know – their teeth gnashed a few times and Key would pull back reflexively. They would laugh quietly and Jinki would say, “Let’s do that again.”, and they would.

But they kept their hands to themselves, it was obvious that they both knew where to draw the line and not cross it.

When they finally decided they did enough kissing for a week, and Key settled back into his chest like the demure lover he was, Jinki thought they must both be high or perhaps just driven by the thought that they would soon be separated for a long time. Either way, it was a little crazy. To say that he wasn’t the least bit by what just happened was an outright lie, but just not to the extent that he would throw all reason out of the window and do what they knew they shouldn’t. Jinki knew it wasn’t the right time in their relationship at this point.

He wasn’t the type to want to jump into things and ‘get it over with’ as he had heard some of his friends put it. Like it was merely a stage, a checkpoint in their relationship that they would get through just for the sake of it. It would be the right time at the right place, it would be special, and it would not be something they might ever regret.

“I don’t know what I’ll do without you, Key-ah.” Jinki hugged him, pressing a kiss to the top of Key’s head and said in all tenderness.

The younger boy chuckled. “Just love me then.”

“I do. I love you, Kibummie.”

“I love you too, baby.”

 

Key hasn’t spoken very much since the family woke up and began packing up the place, preparing to return home. Jinki would catch him sighing quietly every now and then, and he knew it was because Key wished the vacation could go on longer. After all, didn’t Jinki wish for the same thing?

“How is five days over so quickly though?” He pouted at Jinki when the older boy ruffled his hair as the family waited at the hotel lobby while Jinki’s father went to check out their room.

Jinki just smiled.

“Hmm… Kibum-ah. You could come and stay with us for a day if you like, you know. We’re one day ahead of schedule, your family wouldn’t be expecting you until tomorrow, would they?”  Jinki’s mother suddenly said, and he realized that she had been observing their exchange silently. It seems that she may have noticed Key’s low spirits as well.

Jinki watched his boyfriend’s eyes widen as he slowly processed what his mother had offered and waited for his response.

“A-aniya, eomeonim. It wouldn’t be nice for me to impose on you some more, I’ve been enough burden for the last few days already.” Key said, waving his hands in front of his body to say no.

“What burden? Who’s a burden?” Jinki’s father returned to the group and asked. His eyes were twinkling merrily as he regarded every one of his family members, including Key.

“I was telling Kibum that he can stay a day with us if he wants to, since he really doesn’t want to separate with Jinki yet. Aigoo, these kids… But he’s saying he’s a burden to us. You wouldn’t mind, would you, yeobo?” Jinki’s mother touched her husband’s arm lightly and asked.

“Mind? Mind what? Kibum is such a good boy, and Jinki is too when he is around.” Jinki’s father laughed loudly, patting Key on his shoulder.

“Appa! I am always a good boy!” Jinki wailed defensively with a how-can-you-say-that look, only resulting in more laughter from his parents.

“Can… Can I really?” Key asked uncertainly, not sure if Jinki’s parents are seriously allowing him to spend a day in their home.

“Of course! We’re just going to head back to Seoul first to drop Taemin back home before we go.” Jinki’s father said.

“I don’t want to go home too…” Taemin pouted.

“But you have to, Minnie. Your mum called to ask for you back already. She misses you, Taemin-ah!” Jinki’s mother told him. This seemed to make Taemin happy and he quickly dropped all thoughts of wanting to stay longer with his favourite hyung.

When they boarded the coach that would take them back to Seoul, Key leaned against his side, having visibly lightened up.

“Is this even for real?” The younger boy asked happily.

Jinki took his hand and rested his head atop Key’s. “Yup. You’re coming back home with me.”

 

If the five days had passed fast, their sixth was like a flash. Jinki woke up the next morning and Key was nowhere to be found in his room. The day before had felt surreal, like it was a dream.

After they dropped Taemin back home, the family set off back to their Gwangmyeong home. Key called his mother, just as he does every night to let her know their plans, and there were no objections, at least on her part. It seemed to settle whatever uncertainty there was in the younger boy, and he was all like his lively self when he hung up the phone.

Key walked the halls of Jinki’s house when they arrived, looking at the various picture frames stuck on the walls and smiling to himself. Most of the pictures were of him alone or him and Taemin, with an occasional family portrait. He walked up to beside Key, who was looking at a picture of 7 year-old Jinki dressed in a little suit and smiling brightly at the camera.

“Whoa, my cheeks back then are really no joke, look at this!” Jinki pointed to himself in the picture and said in amused tones. He hasn’t really paid attention to these pictures that have been around for seemingly forever. You just tend to overlook some things when they are always there.

“You cheeks now are no joke either, Onew-yah!” Key turned to him and pinched his cheeks, pressing it this way and that like his face was a lump of clay to be molded and laughed.

Key helped Jinki with the unpacking, which sped up things a whole lot since Jinki was usually a hazard to most kinds of household chores. He showed the younger boy his room, his collection of fiction and they talked about their childhood cartoon heroes.

Later, they ate at a restaurant near their home, since it was late and everyone was tired from travelling. Before too long, night came and like most nights the pair spent together in Jinki’s dorm room, they fell into restful sleep in each other’s arms.

Jinki got up from the bed, randomly pressing at tufts of his hair that was sticking out in all directions, and was assured to see Key’s phone on the desk beside his own. The wafting smell of breakfast, toast and freshly-brewed coffee, made his empty stomach grumble. He washed up quickly and made his way down the stairs into the kitchen, only to see his boyfriend helping his mother out at preparing breakfast.

“Ah, you’re up! Morning, Onew-yah~” Key looked up from cutting radishes and smiled brightly at him.

“Morning, baby~” Jinki crossed the kitchen to where Key was standing and gave him a quick peck to the forehead. “Why are you up so early?”

“Kibum isn’t such a sleepyhead like you, Jinki-yah. He helped me prepare all these! You’re only good at eating.” Jinki’s mother said from the stove where she was apparently cooking kimchi stew and Key laughed at her last sentence.

“Morning, umma~ D’you not want me anymore? D’you want Key to be your son instead?” Jinki whined and pouted as he hugged his mother from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“No. I want him to be my son-in-law.” His mother’s words caught him by surprise and he looked over to see Key’s face turn red.

“He will, one day.” Jinki said quietly. Key’s face turned redder, but he was smiling as he scooped the cut radishes into a plate.

Not finding himself useful in any way, Jinki left the kitchen after his mother said breakfast will be ready in a short while. It was heartening to see Key being so accepted by his family. The scene in the kitchen made him feel as if they really are a family living together. How nice would that be if he could wake up to that every morning?

 

They spent the next few hours doing simple things. Key helped his mother around the house, and they all sat on the couch and watched a gag show together, but the time eventually came when Key had to go back home. Jinki helped him with his luggage as he brought him to the train station, regretful that he couldn’t take him all the way back to Daegu.

“This is so ridiculous but I think I miss you already.” Key said, squeezing Jinki’s hand. His train was departing in awhile and they were on the platform saying their goodbyes.

Jinki hugged him tightly. For six and a half days they have been together without being apart from the other for more than a couple of hours at a time, tops. Now there was about two months to go until they could meet again. It didn’t help matters that they didn’t exactly live near each other too.

He let out a sigh that had some sort of finality, and let go of Key’s frame.

“Call me when you get home, arasso?” Jinki let his hands rest on Key’s shoulders and said.

“I will.”

The younger boy produced a note paper that was folded into a fancy pattern from his pocket and pressed it into Jinki’s palm.

“It’s for your birthday. Read it only when you get back, okay?”

Jinki nodded, pushing the note into his jeans pocket and kissed Key goodbye.

“I love you baby. Be safe.”

“Love you too. Take care of yourself, till we meet again okay? Time will pass fast and school will start, and I will see you again.” He smiled and waved goodbye to Jinki.

Jinki stood on the platform while the train pulled out of the station, only turning to go when it has gone out of sight.

 

***

 

There was a sense of foreboding as Kibum finally arrived back at home.

It was already night time, he was hungry and tired and couldn’t wait to crash into his own comfortable bed after tasting his Halmoni’s cooking after such a long time.

“I’m home!” He called as he stepped through the front door, but he froze in his tracks when he saw his father’s stone cold expression as he turned away from the TV to regard his son.

“A-appa.” Kibum bowed to greet his father. His mother was nowhere in sight, which could only mean that she’s on night shift at the hospital. Halmoni was probably resting in her room, if not already asleep. No one was going to bail him out this time.

Kibum was raised in a family where his father had absolute authority and he was taught better than to challenge that. He’s the Almighty that Kibum feared. So when his father was looking at him like this, he shuddered and braced himself for whatever was to come.

He had a good idea too, what it would be about.

“Sit down, Kibum.” His father said. Kibum really didn’t have the mental strength for this right now but he dare not defy, considering he had already pushed his luck by staying a day at Onew’s place. He wasn’t even sure if his mother informed him about it, but things were not looking good.

Kibum sat down on the opposite end of the sofa from his father, afraid of being too close. It’s not like his father was one to hit him, in fact he hardly ever does, but he was emitting an aura that made him afraid to go too close.

“When are you going to stop being like this?” His father’s hard and cold demeanor changed to one of frustration, of desperation even, and it shocked Kibum to see that.

“B-being like what?” Kibum stuttered, unsure of what his father was referring to. Had he done something else?

“Claiming that you’re gay? Going out with boys? Are you just trying to challenge me now, Kim Kibum? Because if you are, you can stop now, I’m not having this anymore, you hear me?”

The words that came out from his own father’s mouth angered him as much as it hurt him. What had gotten into his father’s sick, twisted mind to think that Kibum would go to such lengths just to challenge his authority?

“I’m not trying to do anything, appa. I can’t help it that I like boys too, you know.” Kibum gritted his teeth, trying to retain control of himself.

“Can’t you just find a nice girl to love like a normal boy would, Kibum? You’re still so young, do you even know what your feelings are?” His father’s tone was harsh and it was accusing.

Maybe it was because he was already so tired and craved for peace and rest, or maybe he was just sick of being like this. Questioned for his uality by his own father, while on the other hand Onew’s parents had only just been so sincerely kind to him. The amount of guilt and shame he felt from that, unjust for Onew and just jaded from constantly trying to break out of this. Kibum felt himself snap. He didn’t know his feelings? Of course he knew how he felt. Hell, he was sure of them. He was sure that he loved Onew with everything he had and he wanted to stay together with him for as long as their feelings allowed them to go.

“I am not a kid, appa! I know my feelings well, I can differentiate between a crush, an infatuation and true love and if it makes you happy, I have never liked a girl!” He shouted loudly, as though releasing the emotions he had carefully kept inside for a long time and he saw his father draw back slightly at his outburst.

But as fast as the fight came to him, however, it drained from him as quickly, leaving him with only a fatigue-ridden body and a weak mind. He wanted nothing but understanding and to not be judged. When he was weak like this, what was left was only an overwhelming urge to cry.

“I’ve always tried to be a good son for you and listened to everything you said. I dropped going to an arts school and enrolled in SNU because you wanted me to, I did everything you ever asked of me. But just this once, can’t you let me have it my way? Can’t you let me love who I want to and just stand by my side and tell me you will protect me, because you’re my appa? Can’t you do that?” He was crying, ugly tears blurring his vision and rolling down his cheeks. It hurt him so much to have to do this, it hurts so much when the people who are supposed to be the closest to you fail to understand and support you.

“I love him, appa. I have never been so sure about something in my life before. I’m not playing or trying to make you upset. But can I please just ask you to for once, think from my point of view? How afraid and alone I felt when I found out I was not… not normal? I can’t help it either, appa. You don’t choose who you love.” Kibum said weakly as though thoroughly defeated, his head down. He dare not look at his father, he didn’t know how he felt to all that he had said but he will worry later. For now, all he wanted was to sleep. Forget food, forget the things that are waiting to be unpacked. He just wanted to pass out and run away for a little bit.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he will face it. Just not right now.

“I am sorry, appa. Please excuse me.” He stood up, bowed again, grabbed his luggage and went into his room. His father didn’t try to stop him, didn’t even say anything. Maybe he was just so shell-shocked that for the first time ever, Kibum actually talked back to him. Yelled at him, even. Maybe now he will listen.

“If we as his family can’t accept him for who he is and give him support, then who else will? Who else does he have?” Onew’s mother’s words echoed in his mind.

What does he have left?

“Absolutely no one.”

In the shower, Kibum went crazy. He squatted on the floor, the showerhead above him raining warm water on his body, he cried with a hand pressed to his mouth. He thrashed around on the floor at nothing, like a spoilt kid throwing a fit when his mum refused to buy him a toy, just for the sake of releasing all that pent-up energy. He screamed soundlessly, grabbed his hair and screamed, but no sound came out. He cried until his head ached and his body convulsed, and he held his face in his hands, pressing his fingers firmly into his head until his shoulders stopped jerking.

When he finally calmed down enough, the skin on his fingers and toes was wrinkled like prunes and he was utterly exhausted. Collapsing onto his bed, he grabbed his phone on the desk to see a new message from Onew.

1 New Message: Onew baby (17-12-10 10.17pm)

Are you home yet, baby? ^▽^

A new wave of sadness hit him. The feeling of being in Onew’s safe embrace now seemed so far away, like something that had happened a long time ago, instead of just this afternoon.

“Yes, I’m sorry. I just had a huge fight with my appa, not in the mood to talk now. Sorry baby, I’ll call you tomorrow morning. Love you. Goodnight.” Kibum sent the message out and shut his tired and swollen eyes.

Seconds after, his phone started to vibrate. He doesn’t need to look at the display to know who it is. He considered ignoring it and just letting the call click into his voicemail, but when the vibrations didn’t stop coming, Kibum decided he did want to talk to his Onew after all. Maybe he will make the pain go away.

He slid his phone open and pressed it to his ear, not saying anything.

“Key? Baby, you okay?”

Just hearing his boyfriend’s worried voice coming through the receiver made him break into a fresh round of sobs. He couldn’t say anything but let out miserable sounds of his crying, whimpering so pitifully he imagined that Onew was panicking on the other end.

“Gosh, baby, please don’t cry. Things are going to be alright, we’ll get through this together okay? I promise you, it will be okay. I’m here, I’m here. Please, please stop crying, oh baby.” Onew sounded on the verge of tears himself. Kibum knew Onew couldn’t stand it when he cried, so he forced himself to stop, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand and taking deep breaths.

“It hurts me to not be there with you when you’re upset. Please don’t cry…” Onew said, his gentle voice taking a soothing effect on Kibum’s raw senses.

“S-sorry… I-I just…” Kibum couldn’t continue speaking because of the convulsions that racked through his body once again, the horrible phase that always came when he cried like this.

“I know, I know… Don’t worry and just rest now baby, you must be so tired. Just sleep, ne?”

Kibum sniffed and nodded, though he knew Onew couldn’t see it.

“Just sleep.”

Kibum closed his eyes, his phone still pressed to his ear and he had no intention of hanging up. It comforted him to know that Onew was on the line, it made him feel like he was closer to him.

Without him saying anything more, Onew started to sing. That song that Kibum had secretly labeled as their song.

“Do you hear me, I’m talking to you

Across the water across the deep, blue ocean

Under the open sky, oh my, baby I’m trying”

“Boy I hear you in my dreams

I feel your whisper across the sea

I keep you with me in my heart

You make it easier when life gets hard”

“Lucky I’m in love with my best fr…”

Kibum’s eyes were shut; he couldn’t open them even if he tried. His eyelids were so heavy, he was so tired. He fell asleep with the phone still placed over his ear, entering a safe land where there were no looks of disapproval, no shuns from people but where only Onew’s love for him existed.

 

---

 

A.N.: FINAL-ING-LY.

Okay, I'm sorry, I did it again. Disappeared for too long but gosh, this was so hard to write. I've broken my own record at the word count (doubled it, in fact) and editing it was such a I expect there might still be some typos lurking around. Anyhow, it's so damn long because I don't want to break up the vacation into another chapter. I want to get to the drama already, I'm so tired of writing fluff tbh /smh. 

So here we have, Part II of the Lee family vacation, Onkey make out time (for those who were expecting , I'm sorry~), Kibum's bonus i.e. getting to stay at Jinki's place, and his fight with his father. Are you guys loving how well Kibum is blending into the Lee family?  Haha I don't know if it may seem a little too easy that he is so well-accepted but whatever okay let's just let it slide LOL. I also brought in Jinki's job opportunity so now we have more problems for the couple ha. 

Sorry that this is so long, I expect that everyone would get tired of reading == If you've read everything carefully and in detail, thank you and I love you! ^^

Comment/subscribe/ just give me some love because, come on I wrote 14k words surely I deserve some nice, long comments eh? 

Oh yes did you guys see the story poster yet? It's made by my bb amber_serkly! Isn't it lovely ^^ 

xoxo!