[CONTENTID1] A Promise to Mr. Kim [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]

Ping Pang. The loud beating of my heart shamelessly blocked my thoughts, as I found myself numb at the sight in front of me. Love was a virus, that’s for sure, as it messed with my body, and made me into a puddle of mush. 

It’s been five months since I’ve last seen him. 

For Yunho’s father, it was ten years. I think his situation is much worst. 

Should I step away from the room? Or should I help Yunho’s father? I think it would be quite disrespectful if I included myself in their reunion. Well, an unexpected reunion, to be more specific. 

I lowered my cap, hoping that my face would be less prominent in Yunho’s eyes. This was not the time to seek for his attention. 

I slowly backed away, trying to blend in with the shadows on the walls. The knob was right behind me, as I twisted the metal, and snuck my way through the back of the door. 

I couldn’t bring myself to face him. Was I a scaredy cat for thinking this way?! I mean, he’s just a man! Why would I be scared! 

But his existence was scary itself. No, the thought of him was even worst. He was like a nightmare that machoists looked forward to each night. Was I a maschosist? Maybe.

All I could say was that, the amount of time that we’ve spent apart made me fear of him. During those times, my feelings grew for him, big enough to outgrow a suma wrestler. 

Not knowing where I was going, I just walked in a straight line, brushing past every patient in lightning speed.

Who knows what Yunho would be doing now? Would he be questioning why I suddenly ditched like that? Or would he be spending time with his father? 

I don’t know. I’m probably not that important to him anyways. 

Kim Jaejoong, 

You are the biggest, dumbest idiot for running away from that hospital. You should’ve ran into his arms the minute you saw him, but you didn’t. I was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you! 

Like a pig, I continued to stuff my face with kimbap from the local vendor. After speed walking away from the hospital, I walked to the very back of the building and found a food tent. When love wasn’t at your side, there was always food on your back. 

Even if my stomach was about to explode, I didn’t care. The feeling of being choked was something I truly wanted to experience, as I stuffed roll, after every roll. 

“Do you need any water?” 

“No,” I said, popping in another roll. “I’m good.” 
“Be careful,” the ahjumma said. “You’re going to get indigestion!” 

As if I would care. For all I could care, I could die at this very moment. I heard death was better than whatever I was feeling right now. At least, it would be clean and quick, and not slow and painful. 

And to add the pain, there was also the story about my sister’s death. The gritty version of what happened. 

Maybe this was all too much for me to bear. I mean, I was only eighteen years old. I didn’t even reach my twenties yet. How could a young person like me handle all of this stuff? How does Yunho do it at his age? 

“Ahjumma,” I said. “Can I have a bottle of soju?” 

“Soju?” she asked, raising her eyebrows. “Isn’t it too early?” 

“It’s almost 6 in the evening,” I replied. “It’s never too early.” 

Moments later, the green bottle was placed in front of me. I swore to myself, that I would never, EVER become an alcoholic. But maybe, just maybe…this promise of mine would be broken today. 

I woke up, feeling like an absolute donkey that was being dragged in the blazing hot deserts, as the sun pierced through my eyes, and into my skull. To put it in words, I wasn’t feeling well. At all. 

Though I felt like ing crap, the bed I was lying on seemed like the comfiest thing in the whole entire world, as my back melted within the mattress. This was definitely not my bed, especially with how spacious and soft it was. 

I rose from the mattress and opened my eyes, accepting the fact that something seemed fishy. My gut feeling was right, as I sighted the big windows to my side, that had had a skyline view, and the set of plushy pillows surrounding me, along with the flat screen T.V. Was this a suite or a bedroom?

. Where was I? And how did I end up here? Did I still have my clothes? Did I get kidnapped? Did mom and dad call the police on me? . . . 

To be honest, I don’t remember anything. All I remember was drinking lots and lots, to the point…

That I probably passed out and ended up here? 

But wait. 

There was a familiar face. I’m not too good with faces, but I’m sure it was a face that I definitely knew! It was a small face, that’s for sure. 

“Jaejoong.” 

. That voice was frightening enough to the point of me falling off the bed, and landing on my . Hopefully I didn’t get a scratch. 

He entered without hesitation, with a glass of orange juice. He was wearing a white blouse, tucked in black pants. Oh, and his hair was parted in the middle. His whole look was enough to win against the sun’s rays. I couldn’t help but stare. I mean, I liked him for a lot of things, but I couldn’t lie. He was nice to look at too. I can’t believe I was able to live without looking at him for five months. 

“Yu…Yunho….” 

“Do you need help?” 

“N…no,” I said, standing up. 

But the more I looked at him, the more that the feelings of sweetness began to drift away, as it quickly turned into a cloud of rage. Before I could stop myself, I picked up the nearest pillow beside me, and aimed it at Yunho’s face. 

“Ow!!!” he cried. “What was that-” 

I didn’t let him finish, as I used all my strength on my pillow, letting the monster within me take over. I hit him over and over, hoping he would feel the pain that I felt for the last five months. This stupid bastard. This stupid, ing bastard. Hopefully he would fall to the ground, and sink all the way to the depths of the Earth, just for him to see how it’s like to live at the bottom. 

“Jaejoong stop!” 

“NO!” I exclaimed. “I’m not going to! You deserve it!” 

“Jaejoong-ah!” 

“It’s all because of you!!!!” 

“What-” 

“That I’m like this!!!” I cried, as I flung the pillow to the side, causing a lamp to fall to the ground.

“Huh?!” 

“If I wasn’t a , I would’ve punched you by now!” I cried. 

Yunho legit looked messed up. His hair was out of place, and his shirt was now wrinkly. 

“You’re a ing bastard….” I whimpered. “Your dad was in the hospital and it took you a ing long time just to visit him!! Do you know how much Ji Cheol and I try were trying to reach you?!” 

I could sense the fear in Yunho’s eyes. He was probably wondering how a weak guy like me could be so scary? I mean, I was always scary, but not this scary to the point of beating him up with a pillow and making his face all red. 

“Ji Cheol…” Yunho muttered, putting his hands up. “Knows why I couldn’t make it.” 

“What?” 

“I…” Yunho said. “We’ve been keeping in contact for this whole time…” 

“I’m not surprised,” I said. “I’m not that stupid you know.” 

“...” 

“But that’s not what I’m even mad about,” I said. “What I’m ing mad about is…the way you ran away from your problems, as if I was absolutely ing nothing! And how you beated around the bush about the truth of Hye Kyo’s death!!!” 

“...” 

“Do you know how much pain I was when you randomly dropped that apology on TV?! Do you know how mad my mom was? How startled my whole family was?!” 

“...” 

“What you did was absolutely ing selfish!!! And I’ll never EVER forgive you for it!!!!!”

“...”

“Did you think that running away from me would solve all of your problems?!!!!!” 

“...” 

“Look,” I hissed. “What you did wasn’t romantic at all you ing idiot!” 

I threw another pillow at him. But as the pillow fell the the ground, Yunho’s expression remained the same, as he continued to look at me with his sad, brown eyes. If I had all the pillows in the world, I would toss it all him. 

“I know…I know why you’re feeling like this Jaejoong, just let me explai-” 

“It was all because of your mom! I know! Ji Cheol told me!!” I cried. 

These words of mine seemed to have hit Yunho real hard, as his face turned grey as a stone. 

“He…he said that?” Yunho asked. 

“Yeah!” I screeched. 

“...” 

“Look big boy!!!” I cried, planting my finger into his chest. “I don’t give a ING about what your mom tells you! Just because your mom tells you to jump off a bridge doesn’t mean you have to!” 

“...” 

“And just because your mom tells you to apologize on ING live T.V without my parent’s ING consent, and then running away to a foreign country moments later doesn’t mean it’s ING RIGHT!!!!!” 

“...” 

“You didn’t even give me the chance to comprehend all this !!!!! All you did was leave me with a pile of dog crap to deal with!!” 

“...” 

”I will NEVER forgive you!! Do you understand?!!!!!!!!” 

So, this was how anger felt like. Hot cheeks, dry throat, and tense muscles. Oh, and the urge to punch something was another trait of being mad. I didn’t know if it was a great feeling or not. It felt horrible, yet relieving to take out all of the buildup in my chest, knowing that I’ve had it all in there for quite some time.

“I understand,” Yunho muttered, his eyes dropping to the ground. 

To some extent, I did feel some guilt, though it didn’t show. When it came to Yunho, I was the type to forgive easily. But I didn’t want to be some pushover who let things slide, especially when karma existed. Right now, he didn’t deserve the fruits of good karma. 

“Do you think you would make it up to me by sending me to this hotel room and blinding me with your wealth?” I asked, surveying the room. 

“You were insanely drunk.” 

“And you took advantage of that,” I said. “Well…at least you kept my clothes on.” 

“Did you think I would do something to you?!” 

“Well I am 18 right?! And I look like an exact clone of Hye Kyo,” I stated. 

“Look Jaejoong,” Yunho said, his expression worsening. “I’m not that type of person.” 

“Yeah right,” I muttered, as I headed for the door. “It took you 10 years to apologize to Hye Kyo. What makes me thing that you care about me?” 

I didn’t want to go, but I had to. I wanted put out the fire-the fire that never died in my heart. I wanted to forget everything, and go back to how things were. I didn’t want to lose to Yunho, not anymore. I promised myself that I would go back to the unrivaled, strong bastard that I was. Back before I broke his car, instead of being an overly sappy, weak, head over heels type of man. 

I did the thing that I was good at; which was running away, as I sprinted into the living room. 

“Jaejoong wait!” Yunho cried. 

No Jaejoong. Don’t stop. This is your only chance to prove to him that you’re more than just Hye Kyo’s brother. That you’re more than the boy that fell for him. Run away. Far. Far enough to the point of having his memory cleared in your mind. It was the only way to jump this sinking ship. 

But I couldn’t. 

It’s as if a heavy set of chains held my legs back, as I stopped in front of the door. 

“What?” I asked. 

No words were said. I stood here like an idiot, waiting for them to come out, anticipating for the pain that it would cause me. 

“I’m…truly….sorry….” 

This was not the voice I was familiar with. I could hear breaths in between, as if he was about to cry. 

“I didn’t mean any of this….I certainly didn’t wish for any of this to happen….” Yunho said. 

“Of course,” I scoffed, as I turned around. “You’re only sorry because I hit you with a pillow.” 

“No Jaejoong,” Yunho said, shaking his head. “I wasn’t in the right mind…in any of this…” 

“Because of this whole mess, now my family hates you….” I shot back. 

Yunho’s eyes widened, as if he’d witnessed the most horrifying thing in the world. 
“How…how am I going to make it up to them…” Yunho croaked. 

“I don’t know,” I said, clenching my fists. “But the way you handled this whole situation was not the smartest idea.

“I’m sorry….I really am….” 

“You rich people don’t know how to apologize at all. All you do is say sorry and then give out cash! Because you all think money solves everything!” 

“Then what do you want me to do?!” he cried. 

I could tell that he was quite desperate for an answer, with his reddened face and quivering lips. I looked down, unable to give him a proper solution. What did I want him to do? He’s done too much, to the point that it left my mind blank. 

“If you want my parent’s forgiveness…” I said. “Then go apologize to them. In front of their faces.” 

“Okay…I will,” Yunho said. “But…” 

“....” 

“How will I gain yours?” Yunho asked. 
 

I sat at the stool across the counter, with my hands on the marble surface. My stomach was growling heavily, as I took in the scent of freshly baked bread. 

“Here,” Yunho said, handing me the sandwich that he ordered. 

Without saying anything, I unraveled the food from its packaging. I was so hungry, that I just wanted to shove this all in my mouth. 

Yunho was a little more careful in his movements, like usual. I watched his fingers work around the paper wrapper, as he pulled each fold out. I’ll admit, he had really pretty hands. They were big, and manly, with nice long fingers, compared to my stubby short palms. 

“What are you looking at?” 

“Nothing,” I said, eating the sandwich.

I couldn’t bring myself to speak properly, as I still felt the tension between us, along with my lingering hatred for him. Though, I knew I wouldn’t hate him for long, especially with this meal that he’s treating me to. So instead of starting another fight, I just kept my silence and ate my sandwich. 

“Thank you for taking care of my father,” Yunho said. 

“Who else would do it?” I asked. “You weren’t there.” 

“I had work.” 

“Who chooses work over their father?” 

“A simple ‘Your welcome’ would be nice,” Yunho stated. 

“I’m just stating facts.” 

“The spunky Kim Jaejoong is back I see,” Yunho said. 

“He never left,” I said, chomping on the tomato that fell out of my sandwich. 

“My father says you were very nice…and warm. Like a son he never had.” 

“Really?” I asked, somewhat proud. 

“Yup,” Yunho said. “Others aren’t willing to go to the hospital every week and taking care of someone like my dad.” 

“It’s because…I felt obliged to,” I said. 

“...” 

“He sort of reminded me of you,” I stated. “If I didn’t take care of him…I would feel guilt.” 

“But you didn’t have to,” Yunho said. 

“But I did, and that’s what matters right?” I asked, looking into his eyes. 

It’s been a while since I’ve last looked deeply into his beautiful brown eyes. They were like chocolates; the ones that you got addicted to after eating them for the first time. Sweet and brown. 

“I know a relationship between us would be wrong,” I sighed. “But…I couldn’t help it okay? I just felt so bad for him. He had no one else….but Ji Cheol and me.” 

“He also has me now,” Yunho said. “I’m planning to take him to Japan.” 

My heart dropped. I forgot that Yunho and I were now living our separate lives, living in two different countries with hardly any contact at all. This moment made me forget that fact. Why did I agree to eat with him in the first place if I knew what I was getting into? Have I not experienced enough heartbreak in my life? 

“That’s good,” I said, putting my food down. “And I guess I should say this now.” 

“What is it?” 

I turned my stool towards him. “I feel like we didn’t have a proper goodbye.” 

“...” 

“I know we’re living our separate lives now,” I continued. “And I know you feel the same way…” 

“...” 

“So I want to end things between us as fast, but nicely as possible…so I have a favor to ask you.” 

“Wh…what is it?” Yunho stammered. 

“My graduation ceremony is in one week,” I said. “Do you think you can watch me present my essay on the stage before you go?” 

Yunho froze, seeming as if he was hesitant to make a decision. I don’t know if anything good would come out of my question, but I had to try right? A rejection was better than nothing. 

“Sure,” Yunho grinned. 

“You will?” I asked. 

“Yup,” Yunho said. “What day will it be?” 

“On a Wednesday…” 

“I have a flight at 4:30 PM. But I’ll try to catch it…I promise,” Yunho said. 

“You better,” I said. “Or I’ll be really disappointed.” 

“...” 

Like an idiot, Yunho continued to eat his sandwich, not realizing that there was sauce on his chin. 

“Ahjussi,” I said. 

“What is it?” he asked. 

“There’s something…” 

“Where?” Yunho asked, raising his hand. 

“No not there,” I said. “More to the side…” 

“Which side?” 

“The right side,” I said, grabbing the napkin from the table. 

I dabbed a bit, slowly rubbing away the sauce from his face. My hands trembled, as I felt his slow, soft breaths on my skin. 

To my surprise, his hand snuck its way to my wrist and held it as if it was a flower. “Is it better now?” 

Suddenly my phone rang, causing Yunho to free my wrist. I heaved a deep sigh, as I saw my mother’s name on the screen. 

“Hello?” 

“Yah Jaejoong!” my mom cried. “Where the hell are you and why didn’t you come home this morning?!!!!!!!!” 

“Uh,” I croaked. “I was at a friend’s house.” 

“A friend’s house?!” my mother yelled. “Do you even have friends?!” 

”I do!” 

“Well why didn’t you call me then?! “ 

“Because…” I said. 

“Were you out drinking?!!!!!!!!” 

“Omma it’s not anything like that!!!” 

“Anyways,” she said. “Get your over here to the store right now!! There’s a lot of customers!!!!” 

“Okay,” I sighed. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes…” 

“You’re leaving already?” Yunho asked. 

“Yeah…” I said, getting off the stool. “My mom’s freaking out.” 

“Okay then,” Yunho sighed. “But don’t forget your sandwich.” 

“Oh right,” I said, grabbing it. 

“Do you want me to drive you there?” 

“No I’m fine,” I said. “There’s a bus that’s going to pull up in five minutes. If I make it to the stop, I’ll catch it in time!” 

But then just about when I was about to open the door, I realized that I was missing something. 

“You better not forget,” I reminded, halting in front of the exit. 

“I promise,” Yunho said. 

God. I hated weekends. Especially when the food truck was full of people. I mean, I guess it’s a good thing right? Pizza dumplings were the bomb, so I couldn’t really blame them. 

The heat was getting to the best of me, as sweat lined every side of my face, making me look like a greasy monster. 

Since I was the best talker of my family, I was usually the one in front of the counter. A lot of people, especially girls, seemed to be fond of my pressence. They would call me cute. Sometimes, people mistaken me for a girl, which made me want to get a hair cut real badly. My fast hair growth was both a blessing and a curse. 

“Can I have a dozen dumplings?” 

“Sure,” I said. “Anything else?” 

“2 bottles of coke please.” 

I couldn’t see the person below me, since the truck was so high up. But for some reason, his voice seemed familiar. Taking a second look, gravity makes my mouth drop, followed by a weird sensation that causes my chest to tighten. 

“Yunho?”

“I’m here with my dad,” Yunho said, smiling. 

“Oh,” I said. 

Right behind Yunho was the old man. I waved, as the old man initiated the greeting. They truly did look alike, despite their . 

“500 won please,” I said. 

Yunho pulled out the exact amount of cash needed. I took it, and put the cash in the register. 

“I’ll be with your dumplings in a moment,” I said. 

“Changwook,” I said, turning to the kitchen. “1 dozen of dumplings!” 

“Coming up!” 

Luckily, the line wasn’t too big compared to an hour ago. There were just three more people behind