Chapter 20

“Honey…is this a dream?” my mom asked.

“Huh?”

“Is that…Yunho?” my mother asked.

”It…is…”

“Is that the same person…who we wanted us a son in law?”

“It is…”

“Is that the same person…who we fed?”

“Yes…”

“Can you wake me up from this nightmare?”

“I don’t…think I can….” my father croaked.

I couldn’t move a single inch of my muscle…nor bring myself to explain that the person that I was friends with was the reason for Hye Kyo’s death. I just stood there, like an idiot, wondering what kind of cruel game God was playing with me. What have I done so wrong to deserve this pain?

My omma looked at me, with no ounce of life in her eyes. I stepped back, not knowing how to react. It seemed like all the love that she had for me vanished, as I saw nothing but hatred.

“How…how could you…” she croaked. “How could you be friends with that man?”

“Honey….” my appa said, taking hold of her arm.

“Omma….”

“That…that boy…” my mom cried, as she rose from the T.V. “You lied to us about him…you said he was an investment banker…but…it turns out…that he’s the reason why…why Hye Kyo died! And guess what?! They’re still making money…even if they’re cruel…even if they have no heart…”

“Il Hwa please,” my appa said, grasping for her arm.

“You…you’re too cruel Jaejoong!” she cried.

“Mom, let me explain….just because Yunho is part of their family doesn’-”

A smack hit me on the cheeks, as I felt it eat away my flesh. For the first time in my life, my mom hit me, not because she was frustrated or annoyed, but because she was really angry. All I could feel, were the tears that were biting at the back of my eyes. How could she hit me like that? Was she in her right mind?

“Jaejoong…can you…leave for now?” my father asked, as he stood up. “I’ll talk to her…”

“Why are you blaming me?” I asked, as I clenched my fists.

“Jaejoo-”

“It’s not like I knew Yunho was that kind of person!!” I cried.

My voice could be heard throughout the whole apartment, as it bounced back through the walls. My mother continued to look at me, as if I was a vulture that her own child.

“How dare you talk back to me?” my mother burst. “If you just focused on school, and stayed out of trouble instead of meeting old guys like that…none of this would’ve happened!!!!!”

“I didn’t know!!!!”

“Of course you wouldn’t know!!!!” my mother screamed. “It’s always like that Kim Jaejoong! You don’t know anything! Of course you wouldn’t know that your friend was the one who killed Hye Kyo!!!!!!!”

“...”

“You’re nothing but trouble!!!” my mother continued. “You’re just a burden to me Kim Jaejoong!”

Those words felt like a real , as it shot through my heart like an arrow, and etched away from the control I had in my body. The vase in front of me fell into pieces and flew in the air. I raised my shaking hand, and saw a cut in my palm, as blood began to seep out. Who knew that my own hand could overtake my conscience and the shame I had for my mother?

The only choice was to run. So then I did. I bolted away from the scene, with my bleeding hand and sprinted towards the door. Voices yelled after me, but my fear kept me on my feet, as I ran down the staircases, and ran towards the exit. The sun was as hot as my mom’s wrath, as it burnt against my skin, making me feel as if I was going to hell.

There was nowhere else to go. I was lost. I had no direction. So I kept running. I promised myself I wouldn’t stop, even if it felt like my legs were going to melt into the ground.. Even if the suffocating feeling in my chest was threatening to kill me, I was never going to stop. I was nothing but trouble to my own mother. What was the point of going back, if I could go forward?

I had the sudden desperation to cry. I wanted to punch something. I ing wanted to feel pain in my hand, and let it burn inside me. It all felt strange. It was like dealing with a half-finished puzzle. You could see the image, but there was something missing? That was my case with Yunho. I couldn’t accept the fact that he was the cause of Hye Kyo’s death. It was just impossible. There were still gaps that needed to be filled, and because of it, I was going crazy.

After getting honked at by crossing the street carelessly, I finally had Ji Cheol’s house at my fingertips, as I ran towards the fence. I’ve probably exceeded the maximum capacity of my strength, as I almost fell down to the ground. Sweat drenched on me, as it stuck to my clothes and hair. I felt like the biggest idiot in the whole world. All I did was run away from my problems. But now, it was time to confront them.

“Yah!!!!!” I yelled. “Yunho…open the ing door right now!”

My knuckles were on the verge of bleeding, as I repeatedly banged on the door, begging for Yunho to magically appear. No one was answering, no matter how loud I cried. Was the world against me? Why was I always the one left picking up the pieces? Was I like trash? Was this it? Was Yunho really going to throw me away like this? Was he going to run away from the truth?

Was this how he was going to be? Was this is plan along? Was he going to use me for getting over Hye Kyo?

“Jaejoong….”

“Ji Cheol!” I cried.

“Where’s Yunho?!” I burst, as I pushed past his shoulder.

“Take…take a seat first.”

“Why?!” I cried. “I need to talk to him!”

“It’s important…” he said, pulling my shoulders back. “Just listen to me…”

“Why should I?!” I yelled. “So you could tell me lies that Yunho told you?!!!!”

It was as if Ji Cheol had witnessed something very terrible, as it caused his face to go pale, and his grip to weaken.

“It’s not a lie…” Ji Cheol said, shaking his head.

“I just need an explanation…” I whimpered, as I stumbled back.

“Yunho…he…” Ji Cheol said. “He’s on his way to the airport.”

“What?!” I cried.

“His mother…” Ji Cheol said. “He and his mother made a deal.”

“A deal about what?!”

“A deal for her to apologize to your family….” Ji Cheol said. “If…”

“If?”

“If he goes to Japan and works on the Japanese branch of their company….” Ji Cheol finished.

With those words said, it felt as if the whole world was really against me. I gazed at the sky, and thought of my sister. Was this all her doing? Was this her way of revenge? For falling for Yunho? Was this her way of saying that Yunho was all hers? She was greedy. But I deserved it. For all the things I did, I deserved every single thing that’s happening to me right now. Until now, I’d finally realized that the world was fair.

“Give me one more answer….” I croaked. “Is It true?”

“What is?”

“About Yunho’s father….” I muttered. “Did…Hye Kyo really save Yunho’s dad?”

Ji Cheol stopped, and stared at me for a moment. There was a twinkle in his eye, which had somewhat reassured me and my angry heart.

I didn’t know where else to go. Yunho was gone, and I had no other way to contact him. I tried calling him, but he wouldn’t answer. Ji Cheol also tried, but he told me it was for the best to respect his wishes. Had I grown weaker? Why did I feel unmotivated to do anything? I felt like the absolute worse version of myself, as I realized I had done nothing to stop him from leaving.

“Want some soup?” Ji Cheol asked. “You haven’t eaten since you got here…”

“No…I’m fine,” I said, laying the side of my head on the table.

“You need to eat…” Ji Cheol said, placing a bowl in front of me.

“I don’t want to,” I said, rolling my head the opposite way.

“Eat…” Ji Cheol said, taking a hold of my hand as I felt the cold metal spoon, my palm, waiting for me to use it.

“What am I going to do?” I asked, raising my head.

“...”

“My mom…” I croaked, as I looked at the bowl in front of me. “She’s….she’s mad at me….”

“...”

“My whole family hates me now…”

The tears that were supposed to come from before, had began to fall out. Drop by drop, as they splashed in my soup, melting into the salty liquid. A lump in my throat, that soon fell to my chest began to take over, as loud sobs echoed throughout the house. This was the moment, that I realized that I was an absolute ing loser.

“Don’t cry….Jaejoong,” Ji Cheol said, patting my back.

“I can’t….” I whimpered. “Because…because…of him….”

“...”

“I’m like this….”

“...”

“Looking at this soup…reminds me of my mom…it reminds me of Hye Kyo….it reminds me of when it was her birthday…and when we ate seaweed soup for her birthday…she always complained….that she never got to have seaweed soup…because my mom was too busy taking care of me, Changwook…and Yoojung….so then….on her 18th birthday…she finally got to have seaweed soup….”

It felt so weird, just spilling this out to Ji Cheol as if it was nothing. Other than Yunho, Ji Cheol was also a person that I felt comfortable towards. I could tell him anything and he wouldn’t judge me. That was the kind of person Ji Cheol was.

“It’s okay…just let it out…don’t be ashamed….” Ji Cheol hushed.

“Can….can I…” I said, whimpering. “Can I sleep over here?”

“What about your parents?”

“They don’t care about me…” I said, shaking my head. “They probably want me gone from the family register…now that I’m a betrayer…”

“I’m sure…” Ji Cheol said, smiling. “It’s not worse than what Yunho did to you.”

“Huh?” I asked.

“Even I am…” Ji Cheol said. “Is judgemental of Yunho’s decision….”

“...”

“If he really cared about you…he wouldn’t run away…” Ji Cheol said. “He would apologize in front of your parent’s face…instead of doing it on T.V where millions of people can hear and see…”

“...”

“But…also, I cannot judge him….” Ji Cheol said. “You and him…you live in two different worlds….”

“...”

“Even I’m not at the same level as him…” Ji Cheol finished. “But he was his mother’s only child….and he has no choice but to go through his punishment…even if it means leaving you…”

“What are you trying to say?” I asked.

“That you’ll have to face your problems…” Ji Cheol said, as he stood up. “I’ll take you home.”

“I don’t want to!” I cried, as I looked up.

“I’ll…explain everything….” Ji Cheol said.

“No!” I exclaimed. “It’ll make everything worse!!”

A doorbell suddenly rang, causing Ji Cheol to stop, and go towards the door.  I took a step back, knowing it could be someone completely unexpected.

“Changwook?”

“You know my name?”

Changwook? It was in fact him, as my own reflection stood behind the door, with his eyes bouncing back and forth. Should I hide? How cowardly would that be of me…to hide from my own baby twin brother.

“Jaejoong…” Ji Cheol said, turning around.

“Y…yes?” I asked, pretending not to know anything.

“Hyung….” Changwook said, stepping inside. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“Well…” I said. “You found me now…”

Judging from the darkness behind the window, it was already night. Which meant I spent my whole day in Ji Cheol’s dining table, crying about some man.

“Let’s go home…” Changwook said. “Mom’s looking for you.”

“Tell her…” I said, clenching my fists. “I don’t want to see her…”

“Come on hyung….it’s already night…” Changwook pleaded.

“Do you want me to come with you both?” Ji Cheol asked, looking at both of us.

“No…” I said, stepping forwards. “If I’m going to get yelled at by my mom…it’s better not for you to see it….”

“Fine…” Ji Cheol said, looking down.

Ji Cheol took me to the front door. I turned around, and bid him a wave. It’ll probably be my last time going this house ever again…well unless I feel like it. Me and Changwook walked to the sidewalk, in full silence. Changwook had never looked so annoyed in his life until now, as he glared at me.

“You know how hard it was to find you?!” he cried.

“I know,” I muttered.

“Why do you keep making trouble for everyone?” Changwook asked.

“Did you just come here to tell me that?!” I burst. “To brag that you’re the perfect son?!”

“I never implied that!”

“Well you just did didn’t you?!” I yelled.

“Maybe if you weren’t so reckless!” he cried. “None of this would’ve happened!”

“Huh?!”

“If we just got part-time jobs…” Changwook said. “Instead of doing weird stuff just to get money…if we didn’t draw those things and got busted for it…our life would’ve been peaceful…and we would’ve left Hye Kyo noona’s death in the past! Do you know how hard it was for omma and appa to get over her death?!”

My f