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The crowd of fans went wild when Jongin stepped out of the van. Namjoo followed and Taehyung shortly arrived after her. Squinting from the sun, the actor waved as he walked off. The fans shrieked excited, waving, and screaming for attention.

Filming today was arranged to take place in the public. The broadcasting station had announced the filming ahead of time, informing the public to refrain from taking pictures and posting on the net. Overwhelmed by their attention Namjoo silently walked by and waited for her stylist to catch up to her.

From the side a fan screamed her name from the top of her lungs. Turning, Namjoo raised a hand to wave and awkwardly turned back to her stylist. Was that what a celebrity usually did when someone called them so devotedly?

“She looked at me, she looked at me!” Namjoo heard the fan exclaim. Jumping on her feet and whining as if she might cry she screamed again and waved. Namjoo was no longer paying attention though. Her eyes traveled the distance to find Jongin not far from her waving to the crowd and smiling.

He was hers and he was handsome. So many peopled loved him. Namjoo couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if she liked him too much. Would that hinder the way others viewed him?

Dread sank through her. What was wrong with her? It had been going perfectly well for her and Jongin these days. Minseok had published the article and photos he’d taken. They received a lot of love from fans and good wishes for their drama. Speaking about the drama, it was doing quite well in ratings. The director planned to treat the entire crew to a sumptuous meal again.

But Namjoo was restless. There was no assurance from this celebrity life. Everyone greeted her as Jongin’s girlfriend. The people loved her as Jongin’s girlfriend. They loved her because she was simple and had come from a background like theirs. And they were nice because she was parentless. Oh, the difficulty she must have experienced growing up. Poor Kim Namjoo, Kai’s girlfriend, who’d gone through so many unnecessary trials. We all should be nice to her. Give her some slack.

Love in the name of pity.

Jongin turned to see her watching and offered her that smile that always had her heart fluttering. Returning the smile, she looked away.

These days she slept at his house and woke up with him. Three days now she hadn’t been in her own home. Hadn’t seen Hee since her outburst in Busan. Was Hee really not coming back home? Would she never see that woman again?

Even if that happened, this wasn’t the end.

The drama would wrap up. Her contract with Hyunki was bound to expire. This life couldn’t continue forever.

The truth was still yet to come out. Maybe that’s what she was waiting for. The truth to come out, for that big bang that would send her world whirling down. Because Kim Namjoo worried that if things got too good the fall would break her.

She had thought about contacting Minseok. He was a nice reporter. He might listen to her side of the story, tell the truth as it was. He’d promised her he’d be nothing but the truth and he’d tell her story as it was. Who else could she talk to?

₪₪₪₪₪

“Hi, Miss Popular,” Jongin slid into the chair beside her, an area sectioned off from the filming area arranged specifically for the actors. They were taking a break after the morning scene and Namjoo felt like her ears would fall off if she heard someone screaming for her again.

“You seem particularly comfortable with those people,” Namjoo said peering into the distance where the fans were barricaded from them.

“I am well known,” he proudly reminded and slid a finger through her hair, “but they’ve asked more about you than me.”

“I don’t believe you,” Namjoo said then glued her lips together smugly.

“Then that’s your problem,” he stated. “We’re rushing filming for today because of a commercial filming tomorrow. Spend the night again?”

Namjoo thought about it and nodded. “I’m meeting Taehyung for dinner.”

The joyous expression in his eyes vanished. “Why?”

“To talk,” Namjoo said.

“I don’t like him,” he whined like a child.

“He wants to give an explanation,” Namjoo explained, “I think I owe it to him to listen.”

“He’s a jerk, you know,” Jongin told as if that would stop her.

“I thought you were a jerk, too,” Namjoo grinned and watched him roll his eyes.

They wrapped up filming after switching locations two times. The director was impatient, the crew’s movements urgent requiring the actors and actress to move as fast as required. Not a moment’s break was given for a sweat. Namjoo was starting to get the hang of this moving around, immediately reading and remembering her script as they recorded. And still, she wasn’t sure what kind of impression she had being in front of the camera. It was just hectic living.

₪₪₪₪₪

She and Taehyung agreed that they would arrive separately at the designated restaurant for dinner. It was the same place he’d first taken her to a while ago. He reached first and waited at a corner table hidden against the wall. Namjoo recognized the water running from the cook room as she passed by a black curtain. Spotting her first, Taehyung waved.

“Order up,” he encouraged. “I’ve already decided while waiting.”

Namjoo peered at the menu and went through the pages before placing the thick booklet down. “I’ll pay today.” When he glanced at her she explained, “I promised I’d pay the next time around.”

“All right then,” he agreed.

The waiter arrived at their call and they placed their orders. Once the waiter left, Namjoo wondered how this evening might start off.

“I was adopted,” Taehyung started, “but that wasn’t until later. There’s no cure for being lonely and hardly anyone to rely on. I know I’m a jerk for only feeling bad because of this one thing, but I really do regret being stupid. I mean, I don’t want to trample on your feelings. It’s already hard when you’re all by yourself, even if there are plenty of people around. I’m sure you know what I mean.”

Namjoo reached for her glass of water.

“It’s like that, isn’t it? You have a lot of people, but when it comes down to it, there’s no one there, you’re not acknowledged. Parents are always there to pat your back, even if you’re wrong. I had no one. I know it must be hard for you, too, but you probably aren’t as bad as I am.” Taehyung somberly said. “I was really stupid, but believe me, this was all me. Naeun, she’s a really good friend. She’s the only person I trust and I care about her happiness, but this was all me. And I’m so sorry if I made you feel bad. I don’t want you to feel unworthy. I’m so sorry, Namjoo.

“You don’t have to forgive me or anything like that. This was all stupid anyway and I’m not going to start making excuses to look good. But I did realize that you aren’t such a bad person. You’re probably still getting used to all this celebrity stuff it must feel surreal. I can imagine how hard it is transitioning to this lifestyle from your former one. I’ve only added stress to your load. I’m sorry and I feel ashamed and I am shameless for this, but I’d still like to be friends with you.”

She forced herself to nod, “I know. I understand.”

She was starting to get really bad memories with his talking. She was starting to think about Hee. Hee refusing to acknowledge her existence as a daughter. Hee always leaving her alone. Former and current lifestyle? No, it was the same with Hee.

But she’d come to terms with their relationship…hadn’t she? Why should it matter now?

And he was making her realize, she hated this. The lying, because more people were involved now. She hated who she was becoming. A part of her shot back at him. He was wrong. Hee was there even if she didn’t pat her back. She was never by herself, she was never that lonely.

Namjoo mentally slapped herself. What side was she reeling toward?

“But it’s not the truth,” Namjoo breathed quietly, eyes focused on the black marble table top. “I’m that bad.” Looking up at him, “I have a mom. Why are you making assumptions about me?”

dropped further apart with a gasp when she realized the words that had flown out. Their eyes locked, but it was Taehyung’s turn to return the favor and say nothing.

“I didn’t mean that,” she excused but she wasn’t sure that would cover the damage.

Silence sank in. Their food arrived. The waiter calmly and so ever so kindly placed the simmering white plates on the table, seemed to use the entirety of the night, as if staying there longer might allow her to eavesdrop. She finally left and Taehyung said, “I won’t say anything. And I won’t ask.”

Maybe that’s what friends were for. To keep your darkest secrets.

₪₪₪₪₪

“You’re here?” Jongin greeted at the door.

The darkness stretched behind her. Namjoo could imagine the stars twinkling. The cab that had dropped her off was sputtering into the distance, its engine spitting against the road. She stepped in, wrapped her arms around him.

“Is this a new type of greeting?” he teased.

At least right now everything was in place.

For now…

Digging her face into his shirt she commented, “You showered.”

“Smell good, right?” he asked. Tilting her head back she looked up and grinned.

Letting him go she slid her shoes off and walked in. “Did you eat?”

“Unless you wanted me to starve, yes,” he replied. “What did you two talk about?”

“Nothing,” Namjoo said heading down the hallway. She just wanted to sleep. They had a commercial filming within several hours and she didn’t want to look exhausted for it.

“Nothing? Really?” he wondered.

Namjoo shrugged, entered the bedroom, and threw the blanket aside. Sitting down she looked up at him, “He just apologized.” She would leave out the part where she’d slipped about her mother.

She expected him to jump over her and slither under the blanket in his playful way and leave her to turn the lights off. Instead, Jongin leaned down over her until her back floored the bed.

“Good, he should,” he commented after a kiss.

“I didn’t shower yet,” she said after they kissed again.

“Who cares, we can do it in the morning,” he grinned. Shifting to get their legs onto the bed Jongin flirtatiously peered down at her before reaching over to turn the lamp off.

₪₪₪₪₪

These days, Jongin was happier than ever. Life felt like a hill of happiness that infinitely looped. He could play in his head, pretend he and Namjoo lived together. It did feel just like that. He was content, happy. And he was full of yearning for her all over again when he saw her the next morning.

This morning he’d watched her get dress. They kissed before breakfast and after breakfast. Then she’d made the quick trip home to give her manager back his job of picking her up. What could he say? His life was at ease.

Jongin just dumped his cup of coffee and went to peering out the window for his manager’s van when the phone rang. He picked it up chirpily, “Jongin speaking.”

“Jongin,” it was his mother, “do you have some time?”

“I’ll be busy today, mom,” he said.

“Well if you can’t talk…”

“I have a few minutes,” Jongin turned away from the window. “What is it?”

“It’s just…I don’t mean to pry,” his mother assured but worriedly, “I came across an article about Namjoo. It was about her parents.”

Oh…

He’d forgotten.

“Reporters write a bunch of hoax,” Jongin excused, “don’t read those stuff.”

“Then it’s not true?” his mother questioned, hoping for assurance from him. “I mean, I remember you mentioned her mother before. Oh my, what would her mother think?”

If she knew Namjoo’s mother made the story up herself she wouldn’t be a very happy woman.

“Like I said, reporters write a bunch of hoax,” Jongin repeated. “Don’t talk about it again.”

Chanyeol knocked on the door and Jongin hung up.

On the way to the warehouse for the shoot Jongin pondered the things he could do with Namjoo tonight since their evening was cleared. They could cook together, watch a movie before bed. They would cuddle and sleep well for drama filming tomorrow. It sounded idealistic and what he lived for. Anticipation pumped through his blood.

When he arrived on sight he greeted the crew merrily and obediently waited for his stylist to prep him up. His eyes sought Namjoo from afar getting her hair done and imagined the fun they would have shooting together today. They’d done it before. Doing it a second time would be more comfortable, more fun for her. He could even kiss her in front of the camera. Yes, he’d like that.

He wandered off after getting dressed. Peering around to make sure no one was watching he opened the door to Namjoo’s dressing room and snuck in. Namjoo turned with a surprised yelp. Quickly holding a finger to his lips to keep her quiet she whispered, “What are you doing in here?”

He peered at the green dress she was in and smiled. “So what took you so long?”

“Nothing,” she replied.

Smirking, he walked over and twined his hands around her waist. Namjoo inched away when he leaned in for a kiss. “Don’t, I have lipstick on.”

“I still want to,” he said. “I can just wipe it off.”

Touching her jaw, he pressed his body to hers, kissing her gently. He kind of wished they weren’t in a dressing room but in the confinement of his bedroom. Jongin gave her one last hard kiss before letting go.

Namjoo laughed and smacked his arm, “See, I told you. Now you look like a clown.”

Pulling him over to the mirror she made him look at himself.

“Here,” Namjoo pulled a tissue from the nearby box and started rubbing what she could of the lipstick stain around his lips off.

“What kind of lipstick is this?” he wondered. “We need to get rid of it.”

Laughing, she gripped hands around his face to make him stare at himself longer as if it would teach him a lesson.

“Now your stylist is going to get angry,” Namjoo said.

He laughed and turned to quickly peck her never minding what kinds of things his stylist might say to him later.

₪₪₪₪₪

Filming proceeded smoothly, went by very fast Namjoo wasn’t even aware of the time. Jongin constantly flirted with her in front of the cameras. They did a take one and take two before calling for a break.

“Your phone was ringing,” her manager came up to her after giving her a water bottle.

The only person who contacted her through the phone was Jongin, but today he was here with her. Hee rarely contacted her anymore.

Curious, Namjoo pulled her phone out from her bag. There was a missed call from a phone booth number. Someone had left a message.

Punching into her voicemail she recognized Hee’s voice. She sounded excited, upbeat as if Namjoo had never given her a ing in Busan. “Namjoo! I’ve missed you lately. Why haven’t you been home? I came to stay for a few days and thought you’d be in. You don’t really mean to move out, do you? Then what would happen to the both of us? Lets eat together tonight, huh? I’ll be waiting for you.”

Hee…was back.

A flash of happiness traveled through Namjoo’s veins. Tucking her phone away she resumed work. Filming ended a few quick hours later. After changing Namjoo found Jongin outside and he waved once he spotted her. He appeared so lighthearted she almost wanted to go with him right to his house and settle down for the day.

“All done?” he asked.

“Um…Jongin,” she started. With attentive eyes on her, he waited. “Actually, I don’t think I’m coming later.”

The splash of excitement earlier faded from his expression. “What do you mean?”

“Hee is home,” Namjoo explained. “I want to go home to be with her.”

“But we already made plans,” Jongin reminded. “No, I mean, yea, that’s good news. She’s home, but you can still come over. Weren’t you looking forward to it?”

“I miss her.”

“She’s never around, Namjoo.” He pointed out.

“We had a fight in Busan, I was afraid she wasn’t coming back,” Namjoo said. “It’s important to me.”

“So you spent those nights at my house because of that?” he asked, sounding hurt.

“No, Jongin…”

“Ok, then forget that,” he brushed her off. “Still, I like waking up to you. These past few days were important to me. I was happy.”

“I know, me too, but…”

“Then just come,” he pressured.

Namjoo shook her head. “I want to stay home tonight.”

“Why?” he asked. “I can sort of understand why you’re attached to her, but I honestly don’t think she feels the same. Namjoo, she lied about you. She doesn’t think about you. What is there to expect from her?”

“She’s my mother!” Namjoo bit back angrily, glared at him before cooling down. Oh my god, she was getting out of hand. Why was she getting angry at him?

“Then a mother would let you call her mom,” Jongin shot. “It’s not that I’m not letting you go home, just not to her.”

“Don’t control me,” she hissed.

“I am not!” he argued. “I’m just watching out for you.”

“It doesn’t sound like you are,” Namjoo glared. “Goodbye, Jongin.”

Breathing hard, she huffed as she stomped off.