myfairytale Review

Title: I Love You
Author: cutielolly143
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/iloveyoouu143/
Reviewed by: for3v3r @ http://myfairytale.co.nr

Title: 2/5
I can’t really give you high marks because this title is very commonly found. I can type these three words into the google search box on winglin and I can get a lot of stories with this title. Next time, think of a different title.

Poster/Background: 5/10
Since you do not have any poster, I can’t give you any marks for this area. But for the background, you choose the right colour. Bright colours will certainly keep the readers awake when reading. One suggestion for you, you might want to change the title or sub-title colour because it does not really match with the background colour.

Forewords: 8/10
It’s quite detailed. My advice to you is do not give so much details about the characters, let the readers find out themselves. This will allow them to continue to read the story.

Plot: 11/15
The whole plot is all right except for the development. The development of the story is too fast. How can Arron treat Gui Gui as though he is treating his love one when he only meet her for one day? You need to slow down the speed.

Flow: 9/10
The flow is all right, no loopholes.

Writing Style: 3/5
For me, I don’t really like your style of writing. I would prefer that you explain about the characters used rather than describing their actions.

Character Development: 7/10
You did not exactly explain how the characters are feeling so I can’t really give you high marks.

Creativity/Originality: 8/10
This story is quite different as you use a different type of approach. Keep up the good work.

Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary: 7/10
One of the major mistakes is your tenses. Your tenses kept on changing. My advice to you is check before updating your chapters. Don’t use short forms. You need to improve on your sentence structures. Some time, I don’t get what you are talking about.

Overall enjoyment: 8/10
I am all right with the whole story.

Bonus points: 0/5
I don’t think I can find any parts for me to give you bonus points.

Total points: 68/100
Comments: Don’t be discouraged. Brush up on your grammar and you can do better next time! ^^

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A/N: aw . I'll try to improve ! (:
Jia You 2 me ! LOL
&& thanks for the review for3v3r from http://myfairytale.co.nr !