My favorite part of the day was early in the morning, right when I wake up. Wanna know why? Waking up, the first 10 seconds you don’t remember the day before, you don’t care about what happened the day before. It’s like you cleared the slate and everything feels brand new.

 And that’s how I felt for 10 seconds. I blinked my eyes opened to find the room dark. It was lightly raining outside. I could hear the soft pitter patter of the raindrops hitting the window. I lay there for a while, thinking. I can’t believe I told him I loved him. And he just walked away. Did he love me back? And what happened with Rian? Was it all just a dream? I sat up, only to feel a stab of pain in my lower tummy and I knew it wasn’t at all a dream. I threw the blanket off of my and slowly got up and looked for my phone. I left it in my jacket pocket.

It’s almost 7 in the morning and I got 13 texts and 5 missed calls :/ Most of the texts were from Holden and Matt. The calls were from Me and Ba. Did they know what Rian did?

From: Holden

To: Kimmie

Heyy kimchi haven’t talked to you in a while. Thinking bout driving home for a visit.

From: Holden

To :Kimmie

Helllllloooooo?

From: Holden

To :Kimmie

What’s the point of having a cell phone if you don’t use it -_-

From: Matt

To :Kimmie

Kimmie, what happened with you and Rian? He came home with blood on his jacket

 From: Matt

To :Kimmie

Did you two get in a fight? Or you okay?

From: Matt

To: Kimmie

Jay says your fine. Start picking up your phone you little .

                Jay? How would he know if I was okay? I needed to go to the hospital. It feels like Rian ripped me open :/ I stumble to the door to turn the light switch on when the door opens. “Hey,” Jay says. “You up?”

                “Yeah,” I mumble, remembering how he walked out on me. I blushed, feeling like I was going to throw up. He knew I love him. He knows. What if I puke on him lol.

                “You don’t look too good, Kimmie,” he looks at me with a concerned expression on his usually carefree poker face.

                “Hm, I just woke up. Maybe that’s why,” I muttered trying to get around him. I had a hand on my stomach to contain the sharp pain. It felt like someone was stabbing me. I swear to god, if the pain’s anymore then it is, I’ll bawl my eyes out.

                Jay chuckles softly. “No, you’re still beautiful when you wake up.” I rolled my eyes at him, but I could feel my heart beat so much faster. “Your lips are so pale,” he tells me. And I knew it was from blood loss. He suddenly puts his hand under my chin and tilts his face towards mine, inspecting my lips.

                “What are you doing?” I ask him, my voice shaky. All I could hear was his breathing, strong and sturdy, my heart beat, and the rain outside. This would be so romantic if it wasn’t for the immense pain I felt.

                “Inspecting you. Do you feel okay?” he puts his other hand on my forehead and I smile. I pushed his hand away.

                “I’m fine,” I tell him. “Let me go wash up.”

                I like rainy days. Washington rains more often than not. When I was younger I used to go for walks in the rain with my umbrella. I don’t know where it is anymore tho lol. Probably in a box in my dorm room. I haven’t told anyone anything. Maybe I can talk to Holden? Ahh, I’ll deal with this later. Right now, I have to get rid of this constant stabbing sensation I feel under my belly button.

                I boiled some water and made a cup of tea. I grabbed my cup with a snuggie wrapped around my shoulder and dragged myself to the living room to watch some Friday morning news. Jay was already on the couch watching CNN. He looks up at me and gestures for me to sit with him.

                I slowly but surely dragged my feet towards him and sat down by him, a few inches between us. He pulled my into him, so our bodies were like puzzle pieces that fitted perfectly. I like this, despite the fact I spilt hot tea over my hand xD “Ahh, damn!” I yell. “Hot!”

                Jay takes the cup away from me and sets it on the table, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to shake your hand.”

                “I’m fine,” I tell him, my teeth clenching. He better be glad he’s cuddling with me or else I would’ve peed myself from the hot water. “Hey, Matt told you about my car being jacked right?”

                “Yeah. The cops should have this under control. No worries,” he tells me, grabbing my hand and giving it a light peck on the red burn that was starting to develop. I could feel my cheeks starting to burn red too. He looks up at me and smiles, “People probably think red is your natural color.”

                I squint my eyes at him but ignore him, focused on getting rid of that bickering pain. , if it’s not going away I’ll for sure have to go to the hospital :/ Jay laughs and pulls me into a hug. My head was on his chest and I could hear his heart beating. It was almost magical, being able to lay here with him. He smells so good. I felt so safe in his strong arms and I smile to myself, watching the news. But then, like always I had to open my stupid big mouth and make a remark. “You know how I said ‘I love you’ last night?” I ask him.

                I felt his heart beat race a little faster and I knew I got him. “You did?” he asks me. I pull my head off his chest to look at him. He has his poker face on and I stare hard at him.

                “Yes. I did,” I tell him. “You walked out on me.” I was going to drop it, but I already opened my mouth. I used to get in trouble a lot in middle school for talking back to the teachers when I didn’t agree with them or I knew they were lying.

                “Oh,” he says, avoiding eye contact. “I didn’t hear you.” In this case, he’s lying and I was feeling in the mood for a fight.

                But I didn’t tell him I knew he was lying, because that’d be y of me lol. Instead I said, “Oh.” And suddenly, all the romantic movies and books I’ve ever laid my eyes on rushed back into my mind. IF HE LOVES YOU HE’LL USE THIS MOMENT TO TELL YOU.

                “I have to use the bathroom,” he tells me, his face a vibrant pink and I move back to watch him hurry to the bathroom. I sigh. Damn, I’ve fallen for him and it’s obvious he doesn’t return the feelings.

                On Sunday, Jay went out with some of his friends. He insisted I go but I wasn’t feeling too good. My still hurt and I felt feverish :/

                He left, making me promise I keep the phone close to me, cuz I ‘supposedly’ have a habit of not picking up my phone :b I was in his room watching T.V in his bed. It was so nice and toasty in there. He was gone for an hour when I heard the door open and I nearly ted myself. Da hell was that? O.o Why the didn’t Jay lock the door?!?!

                I pull the covers up to my hid my face, knowing it was childish to do so. I mean, what if the intruder has a knife? He can still stab me through the blanket -_- “Kimmie?”

                I pulled the blanket back to see Matt standing there with a box of…. Oranges? “Matt!” I greeted him, happy it wasn’t some random guy that walked into the house…. Or Rian. I was thankful it wasn’t him.

                “Are you sick or something?” he asks me, setting the box of oranges down.

                “I don’t feel good,” I tell him. “Why’d you bring oranges over?”

                “They’re not oranges,” he tells me, walking over to the bed and sitting down on the edge of it. He put his hand on my forehead and pulled back sharply. “Ay, you have a fever. Can’t believe Jay hasn’t been taking care of you.”

                “I haven’t been taking care of myself,” I glared at him. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. What’s in the box?”

                “Christmas presents since you didn’t care to come home for Christmas. Probably too busy with Jay,” Matt rolls his eyes and I snorted. Psh, I wish. “Anyway, I’ll take you to the doctor. Unless you want me to diagnose you?”

                And I thought of my fever, which was probably due to an infection where Rian rubbed me raw o.O So no, I don’t want my older brother to diagnose me. “No, take me to the hospital. Before Jay get’s home, okay? I don’t want him to worry about me.”

                “Aw, look how cute you two are? When are you two going to get married?” Matt grins at me and I smack his arm.

                “For someone who goes to Harvard, you’re stupid,” I tell him. He laughs. But then the mood turned dark when he asks me,” What happened with you and Rian? He came home that one day all bloody.”

                I thought about whether I should tell him or not. I wish Holden was here. It’d be so much easier saying my older brother me :/ “Um.. well,” I began. Then I couldn’t bring myself to say it aloud. Inside I was screaming at my brother. But he couldn’t hear me.

                “Tell me. Did he hit you? Did he cut you?” Matt asks me, eyeing my arms and face. “Kimmie, look at me.”

                I look him in his eyes, which were so similar to mine. Round and deep. Rian’s were chinky. “Is Rian our brother?”

                “What? What do you mean?” he asks me.

                “Is he our real brother. Like blood brother?” I ask him.

                Matt looks around the room real quick, trying to find an answer. “No. He’s not. Now let me take you to the hospital. You don’t look too good.”

                “I want you to explain the story behind Rian,” I tell him stubbornly, not getting up from the bed.

                Matt was already standing up. He looked tired. “I’ll tell you in the car. Get dressed and meet me in the living room, Kimchi.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~