Angels Don't Cry.

Yunho wasn't one to stay up unreasonable late if not necessary. It affected your health on the long run and condition the very next day. So he preferred to get as much sleep as he could get. And today was one of those seldom nights where nothing stopped him from having a healthy amount of sleep. No early practices, no forgotten homework, no annoying members hooking up the bed. Nothing.

Or not, he sighed when a knock sounded on his door. He considered to ignore it when a second and third knock echoed through the room. Cursing his bad luck he left the comfortable position he'd been in. The new book he'd brought ages ago had to wait. Again.

“Can I-” he started and stopped mid-track when his eyes took the figure in. His heart made a jump he wished it wouldn't. Stupid thing.

“Jaejoong?” he asked cautiously. He feared his tiredness played a prank on him and he just imagined the other in front of him. Though Yunho skilful avoided the question why his exhausted mind would project Jaejoong of all things. And it could be one of the European students or another fair head, though he bet the person on his doorstep was the only blond Asian around the campus. Correction: the only throwing him off guard blond Asian.

Jaejoong looked up, eyes clouded. “Can I talk to you?” he whispered and hugged himself. Only now Yunho realised the visitor wore nothing but a pair of pyjama bottoms. Of course, how could he forget; his former bandmate was allergic to clothes. And it was Jaejoong's fashion to go without thinking anything through. This was probably one of these cases he'd left his room in a mad rush and forgot the floors were freezing cold at night.

“Sure, come in. Don't wanna get you catch a cold.” Yunho held the door open as the other slipped inside and halted in the middle. Awkwardness spread through the air and Yunho cursed once again. Why was it like this between them? They used to be so close, comfortable around each other. It was agonising to be reminded what was.

He decided to ignore the distance between them and slumped down on his bed. This time he'd fight for his place. But Jaejoong made no move to join him. Rather he looked around as if he found the furniture more interesting than the things he may wanted to say.

“So?” Yunho inquired after minutes of heavy silence. “What did you wanna talk about?”

“How was the competition?”

Yunho raised an eyebrow. Seriously? He couldn't believe the other would knock on his door late at night just to ask him about the small tournament that had taken place a few days ago. It was some sort of preliminaries every team had to go through to be qualified for the main event. Of course, Unity made it without much difficulty. Jaejoong knew that. Better than anyone. Not to mention he'd never asked before, not since that day.

“If you came here just for that I advise you to leave,” Yunho said coolly, pissed off. “Today is one of the rare times I get the chance to go to bed early. So if there's nothing important please leave.” He stood up to demonstrate he meant what he said when a hand on his wrist stopped him.

“I'm sorry,” Jaejoong whispered and looked down. “I just... I don't know how to say it. I did something I regret and fear it'll worsen the whole situation.”

Now Yunho's interest got piqued up. He directed the other to his bed and made him sit. “What do you mean?” he asked. Unintentionally he kneeled down in front of the blond and held his cold hands. It was rare to see Jaejoong lost and without an answer. It awoke his protective nature to shield the man from any harm. Though he'd failed more than once. Jaejoong shook his head. He looked conflicted. Yunho had never seen him like this. “Come on, I won't eat you,” he joked. That drew a small smile on the other's face but it faded just as quickly. Instead an expression as if the world had ended replaced the little lightness Yunho's comment evoked in him.

“Swear you won't freak out?” The blond sounded small and weak.

That made Yunho lean back. “Now you're making me worried.”

“Changmin and I... we kinda slept with each other,” Jaejoong mumbled and run a hand through his dyed hair.

Yunho blinked. Did he hear right? That couldn't be. His mind went crazy, that's all. “Come again?”

Jaejoong avoided his gaze. “I'm a fool, Yunho,” he said. “All this time I believed I'd be able to handle him, can make him take a different direction. But I made it worse. Gosh, I destroyed everything – no, we destroyed everything. Yunho, what am I supposed to do? With giving in I made it worse. Changmin will have it even harder from now on. He'll be more confused, more angry. He will lash out more cruel at Kyuhyun and hurt himself in the process.” His eyes glistened. “I'm horrible. I played with Changmin's and Kyuhyun's feelings. I used them to my advantage, spin my own reality. I'm on the verge of breaking them.” Tears streamed down his cheeks. “And Changmin asked me to stay,” he choked and broke down.

Yunho did the only thing he was able to do in the moment: he went over and embraced the upset blond who'd immediately clung to him, so tightly as if his life depended on it. He was at a loss of words. It was hard to follow Jaejoong's way of thinking. He wasn't used to it any more. He had a hard time to figure the situation out. Or maybe his mind tried its hardest to act oblivious. Cause nowhere in hell could he swallow the information Jaejoong gave him. That the two people he care most for did what he never thought would happen, not in his wildest dreams. Just the thought of made his mind swirl. Not yet. He had to be strong, for the man sobbing on his knees, for himself and everyone involved.

“It'll be alright,” he tried to console the upset blond in his arms. “Everything will work out.”

Empty words, he knew. But what else could he say? There was nothing to provide. Though staying silent would've been the better solution if the force Jaejoong used to push him away was anything to go by. “You don't understand! He asked me to stay, Yunho,” he fretted, eyes wide, red and desperate. “He asked me to stay when I couldn't, asked me to leave when I couldn't. I'm not good enough.”

A mess. Everything and everybody was a mess.

And both Yunho and Jaejoong were on their wits ends.

“Maybe I should just stop,” Jaejoong mumbled, head hung low and fingers intertwined. His voice was hollow, resigned. “Stop trying and let Changmin use me as a punching bag. That way he won't hurt Kyuhyun and himself.”

“Are you mad?!” Yunho half-yelled, the numbness leaving with the suggestion behind the spoken words. In an act of sudden fury (and hurt, hurt he wouldn't acknowledge) he punched Jaejoong in the face. The force ripped the blond off his feet. With a surprised yelp he landed on the ground. Even if he didn't want to acknowledge it Yunho knew why he was so furious. He was jealous and disappointed. Jealous of Changmin for having experienced what he'd buried deep inside and disappointed at Jaejoong for the blond didn't seem to see him, Yunho, as worthy enough to hold some last affections.

Yunho caught the smaller man's gaze. A small smile, so little an untrained eye wouldn't discover it twitched on the edge of his mouth. He may be overflown with negative emotions but the familiar stubbornness in the other's eyes when stared back defiantly amused him. The other had never backed down, especially when he used to be much more strict than now. It was to a point where trainees complained to the higher ups or even fled the dance department. Yeah, the Yunho now was a kitten compared to the merciless tiger back then. And all thanks to Jaejoong giving him a piece of his mind.

His reminiscing in happy memories vanished though when his eyes spotted faded love bites on the blond's skin. It hit him hard once again that their relationship wouldn't ever be as it used to be in the past. Sudden tiredness overcame Yunho. As the blond had said before: they weren't children any more.

“What does that make me?” he whispered unconsciously and his former band mate's cheek where an angry red made its appearance. Said man looked away. He was ashamed. And hurt. Hurt by the dull pain in Yunho's eyes. “I'm sorry,” he croaked and stopped when a thumb touched his lower lip. The look in the man's eyes above made his breath hitch and his heart thumb madly in its cage. Out of habit his tongue sneaked out and wet his dry lips. As well as the other's thumb. Yunho's eyes darkened and he leaned forward.

Something shifted in their relationship.

Once again.

Their faces were mere centimetres apart. Their breath mingled. “We can't,” Jaejoong managed to say, breath still uneven. “I can't.”

“I know,” Yunho replied throatily and advanced a little bit further. This time stopped by the blond's right hand on his chest. The taller man searched for the other's expressive eyes. He'd always known his attraction towards Jaejoong. He'd embraced it, accepted it and controlled himself. They were friends, what they had too precious to be thrown away by an infuriation.

But this time was different.

It wasn't just an infuriation. Too much time passed to call what he felt just something shallow. His feelings ran deeper, rooted somewhere the trails of infuriation would never be able to reach. Yunho blamed Jaejoong's warm hand on his chest and the information about the brothers' intimate actions a while ago for his behaviour.

“This shouldn't...” Jaejoong tried again, weakly. The conflicted feelings subdued by Yunho's closeness. His resistance wavered. And crumbled by the other man's next words. ”I need you,” Yunho confessed and decided to hell with the consequences. Regret was something you felt later, not in the heat of a moment. He overcame the small distance between them and stopped only shortly. His lips hovered over Jaejoong's. He believed to feel them already. “Say you don't wanna and I won't,” he whispered lowly and waited anxiously for a reply. Instead the hand on his shirt tightened its grip and determinedly pulled him down.

“No regrets,” Jaejoong whispered and kissed him.

________

This is only a short update, some kind of a filler but not really (talk about complicated). There will be more consequences for Jaejoong's and Changmin's one night stand, especially for Changmon's decision to get over it. We all know he doesn't make the greatest decisions most of the time... Yunho's reaction may have appeared a little too "lightly" but keep in mind that his emotions had been subdued by shock. After all his history with the brothers goes deep. But that is a story for another time.

Thanks for reading and sticking around.