Okay, I apologise beforehand for this chapter - reason why my (author's) note is wirtten above and not down there as usual. It took so long I already feel like the last update was in acient times. I could say I was busy with university or life got in-between but that would be lies. Honestly, I had no motivations what to write, therefore this crap I mean filler happened. The next chapter will be better and has finally! changkyu moments. Holla, it's time. Can't believe I decided to write a changkyu fic in which the least scenes are with them. Anyway, hope you still enjoy <3

First Time.

“Guys!” Siwon called and drew everyone's attention. “Please gather. I wanna introduce you to our saviour.”

I ducked my head at his cheesy words. I could already feel embarrassment crawling up my neck. What saviour, I was just helping out. “This is Kyuhyun, he'll substitute Hangeng for this performance. He isn't in our department so give him a hand, alright?”

There were murmurs of agreement and I was once again weirded out by the ordinary way he talked. I was so used to him speaking forsoothly it sounded more strange hearing him use words everyone else used. There were quick introductions to who was who but honestly I didn't memorise anyone's name. It was difficult enough to adjust to this environment. My brain was too precious to be occupied with minor things. And I hadn't adjusted yet when Siwon called everyone to get ready. “First take, start!” he called.

I watched the sudden buzz with nervousness. Imaging it and really doing it were two totally different things. My mind and body were separated. It was like I was outside my body and watched myself doing things. Though that feeling vanished when I saw my gambling partner. In the script it said the barber would play with me during the times he had no customer cause the bullfighter snatched them all away. “Ryeowook?!” I exclaimed, shocked at finding out the identity of the barber. My room mate waved his hand. “Hey, Kyu. Let's play.”

I covered my astonishment with a smirk. Playing cards? Totally my style. Watch out, Kim Ryeowook. I'm gonna crush you. And I did. Over and over again. At some point my room mate turned sulky. Sore loser. “Karma bites your ,” was the only comment I made when he complained about his bad luck. It wasn't like anyone would hear our conversation. The focus was on the sheriff. Ryeowook grunted. “Where's the connection between you playing totally mean and my pure karma?”

“What purity?” I snorted and played my last card and ended the game. “It's fair play for you deceived me.”

“Deceived you?”

“Yes, why haven't you mentioned you'd taken a part in this play? And how come you're allowed in it? You're in a different department as well. Interdisciplinary isn't welcome during the festival, ain't it?”

Ryeowook shrugged. “Well, Siwon needed help and I wasn't intending on participating for a cooking competition anyway.”

I smirked. “Of course. Coming to a childhood friend's rescue, the classic.”

My room mate stood up abruptly which was true to the directions in the script but a bit too early. He was immediately called out. “NG!” one of the staffs said. No need to go deeper, the person held no importance. “Too early,” the unimportant person said. “You need to wait till the blacksmith hits the banker on his head and the thief runs away with the crown.”

Ryeowook bowed and apologised profusely while I had to work hard in suppressing the chuckle that wished to come to the surface. That stunt wasn't that hard anymore when my eyes caught a visitor I never expected here and didn't wish showed his visage to me. I immediately turned around – swiftly of course – and made Ryeowook sit on my chair. He gave me a confused look that I answered with a hasty gesture to the stand where non other than my annoying ert of an uncle occupied a seat. What the hell was he doing here?

“Who's that?” my room mate asked and I groaned. Right, I forgot to describe what my uncle looked like. I only briefed him about the encounters I had with him – or the lack of. I got quite good these days to avoid him. Seems Lady Fortuna decided I had had enough luck and turned the wheel around. Lovely.

“My uncle,” I hissed. “The ert who wants to ruin my life.”

Ryeowook snorted. “If I believe every word you say than half of the word wants to ruin your life.”
“This is no time to joke around,” I replied heatedly. “Do you know how aggravating it is to listen to his blabbing? I can't stand it.”

“Then tell him so.”

There was the urge to smack his head with two jingles. You know, the ones toy apes had to create unappreciated noises. “Maybe it went past you, my uncle doesn't listen. And if he does, it is selective. He picks the things he wants to hear and that is it.”

“Then write down what you want.”

His answer threw me so off I wasn't even capable of forming a sentence. I knew it. Ryeowook wasn't much help in dealing with my uncle. Park Yoochun was too much of a hurdle to be solved with a accelerated good night talk. It needed genius planning and brain challenging methods to solve this uninvited problem. Speaking of solving problems, it was time for my meeting for the solution of my non-existent competence regarding dance. Time in terms of three practice rounds of the first act till the staff was satisfied and we were released. Gosh, who knew doing a musical was that much hard work. Freaky Horse must be masochistic to have voluntary chosen the theatrical performance section.

I was out of breath when I reached my destination, a dance studio. The person I was supposed to met with was already there, back to me and studying who knows what in the mirror. Our gazes met and I sent an apologetic smile. “I'm sorry?”

“Is that a question?” Junho asked, arms crossed and still did not bother to turn around. Urgh, someone was mad. “I didn't do it on purpose, I promise. It's similar to last time.”

“You didn't show up then,” Junho stated flatly.

“Ah yeah.” I awkwardly scratched my head. “You see, this Japanese boxer caught me. She's a tyrant. She made me do work someone else was supposed to do!”

“Ain't ya lucky,” came the dry response.

“It's your fault! Why didn't you tell me the fitness studio is for members-only?” Maybe it wasn't a wise decision to attack a potentially pissed off person but excuse me, I'm Cho Kyuhyun. And as a genius I won't let anyone upset me. And judging Junho's reaction I pushed my luck just right. Lady Fortuna was back on my side. Junho just shrugged and finally turned around. “I forgot.”

Remembering my pride I let it slide. I wouldn't invest in a fight. Hell no. I was better than that. “So, with what are we gonna start?”

“Nothing big,” Junho replied. The devilish smirk playing around his lips should've warned me but I was too occupied with the fact that I was going to learn how to dance. My brain was incapable of evoking a picture of me twisting my body in graceful movements, controlling every part of my body and releasing tenseness to create a perfect picture. It was irrational. Irrational as the program Junho had planned for me. I swore when he called a break my whole body was aching and every muscle was sore. I couldn't even sit down properly without in pain. I shoot daggers at Junho who looked at comfortable at he did in the beginning, Was he mocking me?

“I'd wish to say you weren't bad but that's a lie.”

“I'd prefer a lie over truth,” I muttered, not happy about the results after I allowed my body to be tortured like that.

Junho chuckled. “Don't worry. I'll get you in perfect shape for d-day. I managed harder cases before.”

“Thanks for the encouragement.” I slumped even harder in the wall and heaved a deep sigh which I regretted a second later. It caused pain in my chest. Junho plopped down beside me, quiet. The conversation died out. I was grateful for that, speaking only caused pain. There was a comfortable silence settling between us. I watched the strays of light filtering through the glass windows. They revealed the usual hidden dust dancing and I thought, that... that's exactly us. Hidden, too scared to show ourselves and only letting go when there was something to make us do. That gave way to the realisation that I didn't know Junho as good as I thought. This studio for example was highly requested. It made me wonder how he got the permission.

I turned to the side to find Junho staring into space. Or maybe he was watching the quiet dance as well. In an act of sudden melancholy and cause I just love to make myself feel worse than I already was I twisted my body and let my head rest on his lap. He didn't even bat so much as an eye.

“How's it going?”

Junho leaned his head back. “It's tense,” he sighed. “There's a competition around the corner and we still have to prepare for this damn festival.” He card his hands through my hair and played with a few strands. I wasn't a fan of people touching my hair but today I made an exception. “On top of that is Minjun's best friend leaving for Japan in a few weeks and he wails how he has to starve from his friend's musical genius. He turns into a drama queen more and more which gets on our nerves.”

“Sounds peachy,” I commented and earned myself a death glare. “Be glad you're in the science department. Different to us those guys only compete between the intern sections. But in our department? Dance groups compete against each other while trying to beat those of our intern sections as well as the other departments.”

I stretched my arms and yelped. Damn, that hurt. “Your own fault. Why do you all have to be so competitive?” It was a mystery to me why everyone was at each other's throats. And it became worse with every second the festival neared. In my eyes it was funny how the guys in the theatrical performance badmouthed the ones in the vocal or dance section even though they worked with each other before. Wasn't that one of the academy's guide lines? Compliment each other, find parts to connect. One big event could make one of the pillars crumble to dust.

The sound of heavy footsteps signalled the approaching of someone. I shared a look with Junho. I didn't need to vocalise what I was wondering. He shook his head and raised his shoulders. The door swung open and revealed two persons I've met here and there: Ripped Monster and Hulk. What a combination. I pitied those who'd crossed their path over here. Must've been scared less.

“Told you he's here,” Chansung said, obvious pleased with his predicament coming true. His partner's reaction was a slight frown and a shrug of shoulders in an attempt to push the unwelcome accomplishment Ripped Monster caused away. “I wasn't wrong,” he defended himself and took a hesitant step forward as if waiting for one of us to officially invite him to invade the dance studio. “I just wanted to make sure all other possibilities were thoughts of as well.”

“Just admit my intuition is better,” Ripped Monster replied smugly. Hulk's carotid twitched dangerously. I cocked an eyebrow at Junho who rolled his eyes. The bickering seemed to be a usual occasion. His fleet hand gesture indicated a 'don't mind those idiots'. I decided it a wise suggestion. Instead of bothering with primitive arguments I made myself more comfortable on Junho's lap and tried to avoid as many actions which triggered pain in my sore muscles as possible. Gosh, I really hoped it'd become better. I didn't want to imagine dancing on stage in this state. That had to be living hell.

“Is there a reason for you two to be here?” Junho asked the two (still) bickering guys, a little annoyed. The tightness in his words signalled me he wasn't very happy about their appearance. Not only me. It was very amusing to see two intimidating looking males looking suddenly very shy and pitiful. “You're still mad?” Hulk questioned softly. He must believe it sounding tentative. Junho clenching his jaw shattered that belief. “What do you think?” he shot back coolly, fingers tugging at my hair with more force than I liked. My protest was silent though, just a light punch against his stomach. His eyes looked down at me apologetically before focussing on the two uncomfortable males. “We know it was a mistake to suggest therapy,” Ripped Monster tried, voice controlled and coated in a soothed tone. “We're just worried and thought it'll help.”

“Well, if you wanted to make me feel worse it worked really well!” Junho snapped and flipped them off. “Can we talk later? As you see Kuhyun and I have better things to do.”

Both men gazed over me as if seeing me for the first time. Well, I wasn't that offended. I held my appearance low-key during the conversation. Taecyeon waved in greeting. “Hey, Kyuhyun, how are you?”

I smiled strained. “Aside my whole body aching wonderful.”

He laughed and turned back to Junho. “The emperor made his entrance?” he joked. I guessed normally Junho would react positive but considering their relationship was currently on bad terms he glared daggers at the tall male. “Out!” he growled. “Or I make you.” Needless to tell we were soon alone again. I passed on questioning the not so friendly exchange between the band members. Junho's body language spoke enough. He was tense, jaw clenched I feared he dislocate the whole bone and a brooding gaze. The chance I'd be the recipient of his wrath if I said anything was high. Not that I escaped the explosion. In stead of vocalising his frustration Junho put it in rigorous physical exercises with no sign for an end. And with that three weeks of hell training began. During those three weeks I learned to never upset Junho. He was scary when mad.

֎֍֎

The festival was near. In less than a week the big day would be, highly anticipated and dreaded at the same time. The tension was tactile, the last preparations on over-drive and panic that crawled up in one's mind here and there. It was to a point participants threw up or were unable to do anything right leading them to be excluded. Cruel punishment. I saw one girl crying her eyes out when she was dragged out a room. It looked like she experienced the apocalypse. I on the other hand believed to experience hell every second of the day. Junho's dance practice had been helpful and I managed to get a hand on the choreography so I wouldn't look like a complete idiot with two left feet. The down side of the fruitful practice were aching muscles (yes, even after three weeks my body complained) and a soreness I suspected to intensify rather then subdue. Therefore I wasn't much in doing anything beside my duties and nobody bothered me with additional work I'd had had declined anyway. Except Wanda. She seemed set on getting me as her new assistant (definitely for an abuse of my skills). The current one would leave in a month, declaring she wasn't fit for the role and responsibilities it brought along. Nice way of saying it to work with the former Japanese boxer.

“We're holding a photo shoot later on,” Siwon announced. I stopped right in my tracks. “Photo shoot?” I repeated, not believing what I heard. “Aren't we just performing?”

A few snickers went around. They died out immediately when Siwon sent a disapproving glare to the culprits. “The Annual Honour Festival is a bit of a competition. Therefore we need as much promo as we can get,” he explained. “It's important to get high rankings at the end of the day. The section who got the most spectators gets a donation and a trophy. It's the greatest honour one can get at this academy.”

I nodded in understanding. Wasn't that surprising. This mental hospital was all about thriving to be best. Even a festival wouldn't tone down the ambition. Guess the headmaster saw it as an opportunity to select the best from the best. “Who won last year?” I wanted to know. Need to look out for the competition.

An awkward silence filled the air. Siwon scratched his head. “Actually, it was the science department. To be more exact the chemical section.”

“Oh.” I felt a little embarrassed. Sure, I was a science attendee and even felt proud but over the weeks I started to like performing and singing on stage. To be honest, I wasn't sure what I'd feel after the festival. Relief? Disappointment? It scared me not to know anymore what I wanted. I liked science, the constant challenge to create new things. The thing was, the trait I thought I'd only find there appeared in the arts department as well. I didn't necessarily grew fond of the members of the theatrical performance – one was weirder as the other with Freaky Horse being the cherry on top - but I developed an affection for singing.

“If Unity hadn't had attended a global championship they would've won,” someone piped up. I identified him as one of the light producers. Agreeing murmurs floated around. It amused me how they suddenly declared a pseudo solidarity. Not long ago other groups were being talked about with venom. The human being was an interesting specimen.

“Isn't all that matters to give our best?” a new voice cut in. Whoever it was successfully made the gossip lovers shut up. Siwon's face brightened up. “Hangeng!” he exclaimed and went to hug the newcomer. The name sounded vaguely familiar. “How's your leg?” Ah right, the injured member I replaced.

Hangeng grinned and I took an immediate liking to him. He seemed easy-going and friendly and most important: not weird. Apparently I wasn't the only one cause suddenly a whole crowd had gathered around him, bombarding him with questions he answered patiently. Wow, must be a popular member. At some point the roles reversed and he asked the crew about their well-being, how the musical progressed, if there were any problems and issues and most important who played his role. Ryeowook took that opportunity to grab my arm and shove me right in front of Hangeng. “That's Kyuhyun who substitutes for you, hyung,” he introduced me and I was found under warm yet fierce eyes. Unable to look him in his face I lowered my head. Believe it or not, I could get shy in front of others. Not to mention I was a bit nervous. I mean, this guy was supposed to play the role I had now. How would he react? What would he say? I even expected criticism, any kind.

“Good luck. I'm sure you're doing fine considering there were no complaints.”

I managed a small “thank you” and earned a little laugh. “A little shy, I guess? It's okay. I won't bother you any longer.” Hangeng waved at all of us, wished us a great day and left, his crutches clicking on the floor. They gave me a new resolve to do well.

“A little shy?” Ryeowook teased and nudged me in the side.

I glared at him. “Don't say anything. This is a one in a million case, okay?”

Ryeowook snorted but let it slide. Guess he got enough brains and love for himself to value his life.

“How about going through our texts and expressions tomorrow once more?” he suggested. “We won't get another chance before the final rehearsal. Till then all the energy is focussed on the photo shooting.”

I thought it over and in the end agreed. A little more practice should steal nervous nerves. “But under one condition: no practice with Freaky Horse. He'll make everything worse.”

Ryeowook rolled his eyes but gave in. “Don't worry, I've got a secret weapon,” he smirked and left me wondering the whole day who he was talking about. The answer represented itself the next morning when my room mate dragged me through floors I've never been. Don't blame me, I had no reason to. The people that belonged to the science department mostly lived in another dorm and I shall never speak willingly with those crazy freaks in the theatrical performance section. They were nice and good in what they were doing but I wasn't keen on spending more time with them than necessary. Except maybe Hangeng. He seemed frighteningly normal compared to the bunch of aliens.

It was the first time I appeared on Jaejoong's door step. It never occurred to me before to actually show up. Usually it was him who found me or waited anywhere in this academy to catch me. I still had the theory he installed cameras everywhere to know specific peoples' positions. Ryeowook snorted at that and dismissed it with a simple “he probably memorises places you go often, too”. Well, it sounded logical. Thing was the raven haired didn't strike me as very logical, more impulsive in a stripped down part. He appeared calm on the outside but his emotion bubbled right under the surface like a layer of ice on water, unmoving and blank, and underneath the life was swirling, dark and forceful. And suddenly a face appeared in my mind I feared to never escape from. The jerk hold the same aura, something luring inside, ready to attack. Maybe that's why I was scared whenever he stepped into my personal bubble. The nearer the more dangerous. It was the same with love. The closer you let someone in the more you can get hurt.

Ryeowook knocked on the door and successfully pulled me out my reverie. It took a few seconds and a shout of “I'm on my way” for a dishevelled Jaejoong to appear in the door, hair sticking to all directions and was that a post-it note glued on the side of his head. It was a very … interesting sight to see. “Yeah?” Even his voice sounded distracted.

“You've got some time?” I asked and got a loud yawn as an answer. No manners. I clicked my tongue in disapproval but since when did Jaejoong bother with my complaints? “Depends on what your evil mind had decided on,” he replied and scratched his stomach. If he wasn't good-looking and if I didn't know parts of his personality I'd stamped him off as a Neanderthal. Why did people lose civilisation out of sight when half-asleep?

“We need to practice before the actual show”, Ryeowook explained. “Siwon was so kind as to give us the backstage room before the final rehearsal starts.”

“I have an appointment,” Jaejoong said. I scrutinised him. “Proof,” I ordered and stretched out my hand. Jaejoong groaned. “Why?” he whined but went on a search for his notebook nevertheless.

“I won't let you get away like last time without a reasonable excuse,” I sniffed and grabbed the object he offered reluctantly after his return. Yes, I was still put out by the fact he ditched me for a tennis match. Tennis! Everything but that. That sport was dangerous to public safety, especially me. Shouldn't even be called sports in general, more like vision threatening method to destroy one's life.

I thanked the raven haired and was amused by Jaejoong's childish demeanour as he crossed his arms and huffed. I was sure he muttered some curses. Spoiled brat, I thought and showed him no more attention. Instead I thumbed through the pages to the actual page and indeed, there was something written and highlighted around the same time I'm on stage. “Seemed this time you weren't lying.”

Jaejoong pursed his lips. “Of course I didn't. And neither did I before. Our definition of important are just on different scales.”

I narrowed my eyes on him. “Don't try to weasel out, Kim,” I stopped his ridiculousness. “Heechul twists one's words as good as you. Don't think I don't see a lie when it's right in front of me.”

At the mention of my best friend's name his expression turned sour. It was hilarious to look at how similar both of them are and yet can't stand the other. I used every opportunity available to make them suffer while I had fun. That's the least they could do for all the I had to bear. Those two were serious kindergarten kids. And troublemakers on top.

In the end Ryeowook and I practised alone with a coincidental cameo, courtesy to my best friend. So I wouldn't mess up, his reasoning. I had the suspicion he just wanted to entertain himself and drive my room mate crazy. Apparently Heechul knew exactly which strings to pull to rile Ryeowook up. Something I haven't seen often. Bangs was usually on the calm side. Guess when it came to Kim Heechul nothing usual stays constant.