Watch Out.

Heechul found out the next day. I could never hide something long from him. The perks and downs of being friends with him.

“The you forgot to mention those crazy es cornering you?!” Heechul seethed, fist hitting the wall. I flinched at the sound of skin and bones meeting firm resistance. But I didn't interfere. I knew he wasn't up for any consoling. For Heechul all that mattered in the moment was to vent out his anger. And he always did by acting violent.

“Amber rescued me,” I attempted on calming him down. Futile. Another wave of fury washed over me. “You almost died!” Heechul shouted, looking wild around the eyes. “Don't play it off. You can't always expect anyone to come to your rescue when you're in a bad situation!”

“I know,” I replied calmly and added with a little bit of bite, “It's not like I don't have experience regarding that matter.” Heechul froze, whole body sagging. It was a low jab and I felt bad for it, especially when I saw the agony in his eyes. But the guilt trip method was safer then letting him do as he thought right. Suspension was the lowest punishment Heechul could face if I let him take revenge. Jail visits weren't on my to-do-list. “I got away and I'm prepared for the next time. I won't let myself be caught off guard again.”

Heechul opened his mouth, only to close it seconds later. It didn't happen often that he was speechless. Guess today was one of those rare times. He let out a defeated sigh and made to hug me tightly. “I'm sorry,” he apologised, nose buried between my collar bone and neck. I felt his warm breath fan over my skin and it give me the same relief as the past times when Heechul came back safely. “It's just... to imagine you not by my side...” his breath hitched and I slung my arms around him to remind him I was there. ”I'm not going anywhere,” I murmured. “I promised you.” If only I could see in the future I'd have laughed at my words.

Heechul pressed his face only closer as if to assure himself I wasn't a flick of imagination. “I know,” he whispered. “I know. The thought is just scary. I can't lose you, Kyuhyun. I can't.”

Instead of saying words that could never convey what I felt I pressed my lips to the top his head, hands rubbing over his back. I wrapped the distress racing through Heechul in tight layers of just being there and felt him slowly relax. For precaution I didn't move for another minutes despite the ache in my legs.

“If anyone had seen that and spread any words I''d have killed them,” Heechul said, voice steady and empty of snarls and tense emotions. I grinned at him. “Nah, I doubt people would be stupid enough to call your wrath upon them. With a gesture so light it was almost obscene compared to the heavy atmosphere beforehand I beckoned Heechul to sit on my bed, face turned. “Time to braid your hair,” I announced and let my fingers run through the soft strands. “It's sticking to all directions and gives the impression you've got an electro shock,” I teased and earned myself a hit to my forearm and an accompanied snort. “I still look fabulous,” my best friend replied arrogantly. I rolled my eyes at his narcissism, heard it too many times to bother with any kind of reply and followed my task of giving the diva a perfectly styled ponytail with his front bangs framing his delicate features.

“Meet up with me later at lunch?” I suggested after Heechul was up and ready and I mentally prepared for the very first dance practice with Unity. The thought alone sent the blood rushing and roaring in my ears. Especially the thought of the jerk being around me longer than I probably could bear with. My best friend gave me a thumb up, a kiss on the cheek for my fabulous work - “as expected of my partner-in-crime, Kim Kyu!” - and was out the door.

Relax, I told myself as I descended the stairs out the dorm, crossed the path walk and stepped into the building the dance practice rooms were located. You won't be alone with him. There are three other people in the room. You'll be safe. Relax.

The little pep talk felt like it never existed when I saw a sign with bold letters directing where the toilets were. Unpleasant memories entered my mind about sterile water, lack of air, a tight grip on the back of my head, a shrill voice and a painful burn in my lungs. The white walls slipped away and were replaced by the toilet cabins and white tiles. I could see the dirt between the joints and scribbled words and doodles decorating the else plain walls. And suddenly there was water, flowing out the toilet bowls, the taps, from under the door. Water everywhere, swirling around me, trapped me in a bubble without air and no noise. No matter how loud I screamed no sound escaped.

A hand slapping my back sent me tumbling forward and the bubble burst. Air entered my pipe naturally again and a cheerful voice asked in accented German, “what are you staring at?”

It took me some seconds to gather myself and be sure I wouldn't break down. I used the time span to face the newcomer I'd never seen before. Black hair, cut short at the sides, brown expectant eyes and a mouth pulled into a friendly smile. Competed was the sight with a lose tank top and equal lose shorts. I raked my brain for a name fitting to the face but couldn't come up with one, which was strange considering the other knew his name if his next words were anything to go by. “You're Kyuhyun, right? Got lost on your way to the practice room?2 There was a hint of teasing in the stranger's voice. To my relief and surprise he switched to my mother tongue. Guess he came from Korea as well. “Tag along, I'll show you. I'm Junsu by the way.” I only nodded stupidly at the sprawl of words coming out the boy's mouth, overwhelmed by the bright and bubbly aura around the male. How was it possible for someone to literally shine like the sun cause that's what my sudden companion was, glowing. The lights on the ceiling only seemed to help by highlighting the tips of his swept aside hair. Ridiculous. Why didn't help the light to make me glow? Discrimination on all levels. Life .

“I've heard you were at the nurse office yesterday?” Junsu asked curiously though his tone was soft. I stiffened. Did I have to talk about that? I liked to forget the encounter with Satsuki-without-the-chan as soon as possible. There was too much on my mind already to bother with her attempt to kill me. Fangirls truly were scary.

“I'm fine,” I answered curtly and luckily Junsu got the hint. He patted me on the shoulder and pointed to a staircase leading downstairs. “The practice room is down there,” he said chirpily. I swallowed. It looked dark, like the darkness wanted to swallow me and never allow me to see the daylight again. Was it alright to trust those stairs? What if I walked right into a cage? Or worse, in Changmin's arms? I shuddered. No, thank you. That image was too real to think more about it. Junsu smiled reassuringly at me and out of instinct I blurted, “I'm not scared.” Inwardly I scoffed. Sure, that's why you're shaking like a leave. I needed to work on my self-hypnosis. Junsu cocked his head to the side, looking at me quizzical before he shrugged and walked downstairs. I hurriedly followed. You never knew, there could be an ambush somewhere and two were better than one.

When we reached the practice room I let out a heavy sigh. Here comes nothing, I thought and stepped inside. I was prepared for many things but not for a figure jumping me and squeal, “welcome to the team”. Well, jumping was maybe exaggerated for the male only slung an arm around my shoulders. Still, it counted as an attack in my personal space. “Jihun, don't scare him,” a familiar voice scolded the jumper. I looked up to find Yunho standing a few feet away, nodding at me when our gazes met, face stern. Uh-oh. He wasn't mad at me, right? My eyes wandered over another member, the one I remembered Ryeowook revealed as Jason, the British guy. He tapped the cap he was wearing in greeting. Hmm, more on the cocky side, I guess. So the guy hanging off me must be Jihun, the sub-leader. Wow, who would've guessed he was a marshmallow? Didn't look that part back at my arrival. Oh well, I shouldn't count on my knowledge about human nature. Apparently it else I wouldn't have had the problems I had now with the jerk. As soon as I finished that thought I tensed up, eyes fleeting around the room on the search. And indeed, the nightmare of my life leaned against the mirrored wall, arms crossed over his chest, legs crossed at the ankles, lips tugged in the faintest hint of a smile. Was he modelling or what? I lowered my eyes immediately when our gazes met. Sounds of steps approaching made me unconsciously lean closer to Jihun who was still draped over me.

“Look who stumbled into our practice room,” the voice I despised most drawled. I balled my fists and clenched my eyes shut. Jihun, misunderstanding my reaction, clicked his tongue. “Now, now, Changmin. You're scaring him. Be nice, will you?”

I heard a snicker. “My puppy's scared? I doubt it. Rather turned-”

“Enough, Changmin,” Yunho cut in, his voice not allowing any opposition. “As you already guessed, this is our new member, Cho Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun, these are Jihun, Junsu, Jason and Changmin.” He pointed at his team mates in a row. Junsu smiled encouragingly at me as to say everything's gonna be okay. “Let's start. We've wasted enough time already. Easy movements first.”

Those were the words of doom. While I wasn't delusional to believe it'd be easy I never imagined dance to be torturous. And what did Yunho mean with easy movements? Was he kidding? There was nothing remarkable easy about the moves I had my body to force through. Here and there I feared to get parallelized and surprised myself with coming out of them unharmed. For three hours straight I was subjected to this torture. I let out a relieved sigh when my bottom hit the ground. My relief didn't last long though.

“Sorry, I have to leave early,” Yunho announced after the horrendous dance practice – at least in my opinion. My muscles ached, my clothes were drenched in sweat (Ryeowook wouldn't be amused later) and my brain was a mess of movements I was sure I'd gonna mess up in the next sequence. Therefore Yunho's words surprised me. Didn't he say there was still an hour left? “The headmaster wishes to speak with me. Practice the moves for the second beat drop. They still lack impact and smoothness. Plans for tomorrow stay the same.” With those instructions our leader said goodbye and was out the door. It took my brain a while to conclude two things: Yunho gone plus everyone else left equals unpredictability regarding Shim Changmin the jerk. Though he'd been surprisingly humane the last hours (which made me feel more uneasy). Did he plan something? Was it a trap? I felt nervousness bubble up and new pearls of sweat coating my forehead. Those definitely weren't from the torture my body had gone through minutes ago.

“Is it okay, Kyuhyun?” Junsu asked, worry in his eyes. I nodded confidently. “I'll be fine,” I assured him and so the practice continued. When Jihun called it quits my muscles ached like they never did before. Junho's rigorous dance practice seemed almost comical in comparison. Not used to the abuse I was the last to finish.

Or not.

My body was pressed to the wall near the exit and warmth only another living being could emit covered me.

“I want you.” The heated words, not concealed by fake friendliness sent shivers down my spine. My heart rate picked up, blood roared in my ears, my vision zoomed in on those eyes I cursed with my whole being. They were cages, groundless, and I fell and fell. Why the hell did I say I was alright? I wasn't. Not in a bit. To be honest, I probably was ed up. Heechul was right. We both were a mess. And I seemed to slip more and more into it. With Changmin being the weight that pulled me down and down. No escape.

“I told you to stop,” I pressed through clenched teeth, breath flat. Didn't I make the ing declaration I wouldn't tolerate his bull anymore? Why did I allow him to still go through with his games? “I'm not interested in your children's play.”

Long fingers wrapped around my wrist. Were skin touched skin it burned. “I know,” Changmin hummed, clearly entertained. “Fun fact, I believe everyone gives in. You, too, puppy.”

“Don't call me that!” I bristled and removed his grip from me. “You don't own me, will never. I'm my own person. Accept that and leave me alone! How often do I have to say that?”

“Everything I know is that you aren't immune,” Changmin replied nonchalantly. “It doesn't matter what you tell me, what I hear you say cause I believe what I see. And what you show me is indication enough that I'll succeed.”

“What you see?” I questioned, not really getting what he meant. The jerk smirked, all too confident. “Your body wants me, craves for my attention. You can deny it as much as you want. In the end, head and body are two different parts of you. They'll never be in sync so how about you shut down for a while?” He stared down at me, eyes drawing me in. Time seemed to stop and only a loose strand of hair falling in his face indicated otherwise. My fingers twitched. I had the foreign want to push it away, fix it. Where did that come from? Unintentionally my breath hitched when Changmin's lips graced the shell of my ear and words that'd haunt me from then on spoken in the most dark and seductive voice I heard someone use filled my brain. “Stop thinking and start feeling.”

Was it that easy? To my own horror I felt myself lean forward, yearning for the contact I resented till now, was scared of. The voice in my head screamed to get away but my body didn't listen. Was this what people called a dropout in computer language? When nothing went as one expected? This was scary. Lose of control. My vision was filled with Changmin's face, my senses were overstimulated by the new gathered intelligence such as, the perfectly drawn eyebrows, the straight nose and the chocolate brown eyes I once again drowned in. I felt hands on my waist but instead of fear it evoke the desire to feel them on skin. A touch that burnt. A whimper escaped my throat when Changmin leaned forward and bit my ear. Was that his ? “You're doing great,” he murmured as he returned to his former position and my eyes helplessly focussed on his mouth. Oh god, that ing mouth that suddenly looked so sensual now that there was no smirk gracing that perfectly sculptured face. The urge to taste them bubbled up and I wet my lips. How would they feel? Soft, rough? Warm, cold? The kiss back in the forest came to mind and with that my sanity. A shudder run through my body. The kind of shudder you experience when you've been driven out your stupor. With force I pushed the jerk away from me. He stumbled a few steps backwards, surprise evident on his features. And something else, anger. I gulped when the emotion took over. Without a second thought I stormed out the practice room to the safety of my dorm room where I was welcome by my room mate and Heechul in a disagreement.

“As I said, stop calling me Jasmine!” Ryeowook hissed, clearly upset if the flush on his cheeks and neck were any indication. “I'm not a girl nor am I a Disney fan.”

I gasped along with Heechul who pulled me in his lap the second he saw me. Somehow he had found fun in confusing Ryeowook about our not clearly defined relationship – his words, not mine. “How can someone not like Disney?” I exclaimed, totally shocked at the fact I hadn't known about.

“It's unrealistic and boring.”

“You watch sappy films!”

“They're different!”

“Are not,” I denied and leaned against Heechul. His arms wrapped automatically around my waist. It calmed me, especially the part (my mind) that still fretted about the incident earlier in the practice room. “The ones we watch have always the same plot. Protagonist enduring an unrequited love, their love interest oblivious and/or taken...” I trailed off. A new thought crossed my mind. No wonder. “It's because of Freaky Horse, right?”

Ryeowook looked taken aback. “What?” he spluttered, completely confused. “What does Siwon has to do with me not liking Disney?”

“It's obvious. You have a crush on him so you identify yourself with the protagonist in your films,” I stated. Heechul snickered in my shirt. Ryeowook grimaced and turned his back on me. “Could you stop?” he said annoyed. “It's getting unnerving.”

“Denial is a river in Egypt,” Heechul cut in and earned himself a high-five and a glare. Wasn't hard to decipher who gave him what.

“I could careless if the cradle of humanity was located in Egypt!” Ryeowook flared up.

“It's a little more south-west,” I clarified though my room mate didn't seem to appreciate this piece of knowledge. Ungrateful Jasmine. “Siwon and I ain't infuriated with each other nor bear any romantic feelings, okay? He has a girlfriend for god's sake!”

A heavy silence lied over our heads. In the end I patted his head in quiet sympathy. “I'm so sorry, Bangs. If I had known...”

Ryeowook stared at me suspiciously. “What's with that tone?” he demanded to know. “It's not like someone died.”

“But you did!” I exclaimed and Heechul nodded supportively. “At least the part of your soul that harboured passion for him. Oh, how it must've burned at the knife cutting news.”

Ryeowook dead-panned, “It's two years.”

I sighed dramatically and clutched unto Heechul who wrapped an arm around my shoulder. He event went so far as to give me a kiss on the crown of my head. I could already see Ryeowook's eyes fall out his head. “Oh, my heart. It cries for the suffer Bang had to endure. What should we do, Chul? We can't let him live in agony any longer. He mourns for two years already!”

My room mate groaned. “You,” he stated, totally given up, “are nuts.”

The first right statement he made that day. And it's not like he could blame me. I suffered an attack from the jerk which I successfully counter-attacked I might say. How could my mind not be shaken due euphoria?

֎֍֎

“Say, you'll come to our party this weekend, won't you?” the girl draped over him asked. Changmin gave a light grunt, not in the mood to talk. His puppy's rejection hours ago didn't sit well with him. He had already been sure he got him where he wanted. Damn it, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't see through Kyuhyun. At least the other was attracted to him physically. So much he had gathered during their meetings. It was only his mind that needed persuading. Speaking of mind... the girl needed to get one as she continued to bother him about the stupid party he had no interest in. “You have to come, I already promised my girls,” she whined. “They're euphoric about meeting you.” It annoyed Changmin to no end. Some tried to be more than a fling. Greedy people. Always wanting a piece of him. Some learned faster than others he wasn't one to committed. He came and left, no strings attached, no false hope. If there existed one it was them to blame. Changmin never gave himself to anyone. If he did he'd had combusted into billion of pieces by now, shattered around and lost. So very lost.

Soft fingers travelled over his arm and he was close to slapping them away. Too light, too submissive. He needed a challenge, yet whoever he took to bed just gave in after some play pretend. It was infuriating and sent him over the edge each time. One of these days he'd snap, the thought so scary he pushed it away by sheer will power and rolled them over, so he hovered over the girl. What was her name? Did he ask? All he knew was that she was part of a female dance group some ranks under his own. He met her at the bar which everyone from the academy frequented to escape the insanity between the four walls. They talked, flirted and landed in one of the rooms on the upper floors. Usual routine, usual outcome, only Changmin felt no satisfaction. Maybe he hadn't spent himself enough. The girl moaned and writhed under him as he moved expertly, chasing after something he couldn't grasp. It vanished whenever he believed it to be close enough to grasp, and exploded into million splitters when he reached his .

Wordlessly he went up after collecting himself and made to leave. A hand hold his wrist. He barely glanced at the girl, a tangled mess in filthy sheets, baring her skin for him to see. Changmin scoffed. He hated offerings. They deceived one, never gave what they promised. Pathetic. He jerked his arm out her grip and stepped out, her bitter words following him, “one day you'll be used like me.” Changmin snickered to himself as he trudged down the stairs. One day? He had been used since he was a child. A little more didn't make a difference. Wasn't it only natural to give what others took?

“When will you stop?” the familiar voice stopped him in his tracks. The cool air played with his messy hair and dishevelled clothes. He recognized the empty streets leading up to the academy. He was here already? His eyes glazed over for a moment only to harden when they rested on the person illuminated by a nearby street light. “When will you leave me alone?” he snarled at his brother. Jaejoong frowned. “You know I won't.” I made a promise. He didn't speak it out loud but Changmin knew anyway. Back in the days the other had used that phrase to justify every action regarding his life. How he hated promises. They brought nothing but doom.

“Why are you here?”

Jaejoong shrugged his shoulders in a way that irked Changmin. It gave him the impression his questions were never relevant, inferior. “Father video called, wanted to speak to you. He asks for a picture. It's Saturday, remember?”

Changmin spit out. “He only wants to keep tabs on me in case I up the family's reputation.”

“Changmin...”

He gritted his teeth. “Don't.say.my.name. It makes me sick.”

Jaejoong lowered his head. “Fine.” Changmin wanted to punch him. Submissive bastard. It drove him nuts. His brother never fought back, only took his abusive attitude in strides. It made Changmin even more aggressive for it didn't give him what he wanted. Though he didn't want to go down that road, knowing at the end of it he would be confronted with the one question he couldn't answer: what did he want?

His eyes wandered to his brother's hands. He remembered their softness when they were children. It gave a sense of motherly care. Too light. He spit out profanities and moved to Jaejoong's side. “Let's get it over with,” he hissed. He could barely contain all the emotions spiralling in his mind and smile in the camera. He cursed their father for wanting a new picture of them on the last Saturday every month. The day four became three became alone. As soon as the shutter went off he shoved Jaejoong away, the smell of vanilla still in his nostrils, the warmth of his body etched in his skin. Dammit. He was back to the beginning. Worse than before. it all.

_________

So I finally managed to present you a ChangKyu interaction. Bless my brain lmao. Changmin has his mind set on making Kyuhyun his and our dear genius seems to waver - or maybe confused fits better for what his body wants isn't in sync with wht his mind believes. He won't turn schizophrenic though. The last paragraph is some f aint indication of Changmin's thoughts about Jaejoong. Escalation times nears between them which explains Chanmin's behaviour towards JJ and in conclusion to anybody he finds attractive...