All Jeonghan remembered was the rage that brewed inside him and the next thing he knew was that he was banging the front door of the shared apartment of Seungcheol and Jihoon. 

The door opened and revealed the man he was in love with although he had his doubts with it at that moment. Maybe he was deeply in love with him to be hurt by what he had heard. It might be because of the love he bared for him, it left like needles piercing his heart to know that he did what he did. It might've been the disappointment that made him feel that way. 

Or it may have been the opposite. He might've took a misstep into this relationship. The answer was arguably one of the two although Jeonghan hoped it wasn't the latter. 

The moment Seungcheol's face revealed, Jeonghan threw his fist in the air and swung it forward until it landed on Seungcheol's face. He landed on the ground with blood on his lip, trying to contemplate what was happening.

"Jeonghan, wha-" Bewildered, Seungcheol tried to talk with Jeonghan but before he could finish his sentence, Jeonghan grabbed him by his collar and pinned him to the wall.

"You killed him!" He exploded whilst pushing him further against the wall.

"You're no better than a murderer," Jeonghan spat harsh words at him and it took a while for Seungcheol to comprehend the situation.

"Han-ah, let me exp-"

"Don't ever call me by that name again," Jeonghan growed as he choked him with his arm.

It was at this moment Jihoon entered the apartment after purchasing some essentials from the convenient store. The bag in his hands plopped down as he found the two men in that position. It took a while for him but when he understood what was happening, he rushed to loosen Jeonghan's grip on Seungcheol.

"Jeonghan, let go of this now," He struggled as Jeonghan continued to scowl.

He finally let go of Seuncheol and Jeonghan's expression turned hurtful and disappointed.

"I regret ever meeting you," He softly whispered with a broken voice and glassy eyes before storming out of the apartment.

Seungcheol collapsed on the ground and Jihoon immediately crouched down to hold him as he sobbed.

"I didn't mean to, Jihoon," He said when he finally could talk in-between his sobs while Jihoon solaced him.

Jihoon's small presence was what got Seungcheol though that night without indulging in any inane activities. He was thankful he had a friend like him although he had no idea how hurt Jihoon felt after seeing him cry.

He felt like he could breath in his arms after how the whole episode went down.

That night, his nightmares caught up to him as well.

The nightmares that Jeonghan helped put away.

Jeonghan had a lot to ponder in his mind. Before he could enter inside his apartment, he needed some time alone. He sat on one of the steps leading to their apartment in the cold, lonely night.

He was troubled and shaken. It felt like his life was finally coming in order after meeting Seungcheol but now he only reminds him of his old self. When he left Minhyuk to die alone. And it was more the reason he could never forgive Seungcheol.

Jeonghan knew the pain of the deceased. The pain their family had to go through. And the pain their loved one had to go through. Blaming every bit of their life, thinking that they're the ones who drived them to kill themselves.

Everything seemed incongruous in his life. He started questioning the reason why he met any of the said people in his life. Jeonghan knew too much of the pain Mingyu was habouring. He was sure that Mingyu may have had the same thoughts as he had.

Thinking about it, the tears he tried so hard to halt, spilled and traced his cold cheek to his pointed chin. 

'He would've lived if he hadn't met me,"

"Wonwoo would've lived if he hadn't met me,"

With a blurred vision, he saw a tall figure standing in front of him. He crouched down in front of him and Jeonghan's his eyes followed his stance. He was face to face with Mingyu and he studied his features for a while. It had been so long since he look his face up close and it took his mind some time to register Mingyu's face.

There was a prolonged silence between them before Jeonghan opened his mouth.

"I'm sorry," He whispered into the freezing air, his voice so broken that Mingyu could barely hear it. 

Heaving a deep sigh, Mingyu pulled him into his arms, embracing him. He leaned and rested his chin on Jeonghan's head while he let those silent tears drip in harmony with Jeonghan's. 

"You're all I have," Mingyu breathed. 

"Please don't leave me like he did," His voice seemed like he almost begged for Jeonghan to stay. 

He came back to stare into Jeonghan's dark orbs. His eyes were swollen and Mingyu couldn't look at his miserable state.

He lowered his gaze to Jeonghan's lips.

"Please," He muttered under his breath and leaned in until he felt a pair of plush lips against his. Jeonghan didn't hesitate to move his lips along with Mingyu's. He wasn't sure what was wrong and what was right anymore. Jeonghan acted selfish at that moment because of the relapsed pain.

Both the men, being in a miserable state, found comfort in each other. They didn't know what was in for them in the future, if at all they had one. But at that moment, even though they couldn't heal the wounds that they beared, they could be at the moment for both of them.

That night, both of them shared the same agony of losing someone they loved.

Something Jeonghan and Seungcheol didn't have in common.

Something Jeonghan and Mingyu had in common.

"Choi Seungcheol," Jihoon shaked th