karenkwan01
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#entry {
pick-up:review;
analyzer:agent0115;
date:13-03-2016;
}
#summary{
Chanyeol and his pet kitten sits down to have a meal.a onshot featuring chanbaek }
< fish and chips by karenkwan01 >
TITLE (8/10)
The title isn't creative, although it is appropriate for the subject matter. I would suggest something more attractive and eye catching to the readers scrolling through the pairing tag.
SPELLING & GRAMMAR (10/20)
The errors were quite noticeable because of the length and they could easily be fixed with a read from a beta. A few misspellings, words in the wrong tense but leaving off an apostrophe with words such as "what's" and "Chanyeol's" was the main problem.
CHARACTERIZATION (17/20)
The characterization isn't bad for it being a drabble. Chanyeol seems to be a caring person who does not have much of a temper (and is completely whipped by his pet) while the cat, Beakhyun, is childish and mischievous. It comes off well enough for the length that it is.
PLOT (19/30)
A bit predicable. The moment the cat was introduced I had guessed that outcome. Even with it being short, there was still a beginning, a conflict and an end. I enjoyed the final sentence of "At least the chips aren't bad." It's a humorous end, very good wrap up.
FLOW (5/5)
The flow was fine. Nothing veered off course or felt strange to read.
WRITING STYLE(7/10)
The drabble contained a few strong adjectives but most remained rather simple. There was a lack of figures of speech such as metaphors. The sentences were direct but could us a bit more of variety. Good use of onomatopoeia!
OVERALL ENJOYMENT (2/5)
It was cute. I actually wish I could have graded for the description because I really enjoy sentence descriptions and I thought it was a really great start to the drabble. I had high expectations for a solid and humorous story.
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