TITLE (6/10)
      The title wasn’t that creative. It seemed a bit vague. When choosing a title, it needs to make readers stop in their tracks to read it. It needs to make them wonder about the story and its content. A title like this is very common in the AFF community. Your story title needs to stand out amongst the others. Most stories are overlooked if the title doesn’t appeal to the reader. With that being said, the title was okay and did relate to your story in some way.

FOREWORD & DESCRIPTION (5/10)
       I admired how you tried to make your foreword and description stand out by using that poem. However, the poem does not give me an idea as to what the story is about. The poem doesn’t give that much insight. The description is the one of the most important aspects of a story because it’s what the reader will use to determine if the story is worth it.

      It needs to have an impact and stir the curiosity of the readers. Your poem was not enough to do that. It did not relate specifically to the events that would occur in this story. I suggest you put one that relates to the story, or you can just slip in four or five brief lines on what your story is about, accompanied by the poem. It will make things clearer to readers so they won’t overlook a great read.

SPELLING & GRAMMAR (12/15)
      There were a few errors found. Most of them were typos, incorrect structure and wrong use of prepositions. I strongly suggest you get a beta since a second pair of eyes will be helpful. Overall, the mistakes did not disturb me from reading the story.
 

CHARACTERIZATION (13/15)
    The characters showed growth. Hayi/Leehi finally accepted her feelings for Hanbin and they got everything settled for the sake of their family. She finally revealed her true feelings for Hanbin and had the guts to tell her family about it. Hanbin knew what he wanted from the beginning and changed his life to suit Leehi. He ensured that Leehi didn’t get out of his grasp.

     However, I felt their characters were a bit lacking at times. For two people who found love, their relationship lacked authenticity. Sometimes the characters weren’t able to convince me that they really loved one another.

PLOT (21/30)
        The story had a solid plot from the beginning to the end. The truth behind Jiwon’s hidden life was a plot twist and I almost couldn’t believe it. There was one part where it fell short. The wasn’t as filled with tension as it should have been and there was no antagonist. The is supposed to be the highest point of tension and then comes the turning point. When Hanbin found out that the child was his there was some tension, but that tension should have paved the way for an actual .

        All the characters seemed to get over the truth so easily and get along with each other in harmony really fast. That was a first for me to read. Even though it lacked tension, I enjoyed reading it. It was refreshing since there was no antagonist to come in the way. However, the event that made the main characters meet was not elaborated on. From the first chapter, the reader is taken to the moment after the trip to the Maldives had happened where she remembers the events that took place.

      That part of the story should have been elaborated more since it’s where they first met and their fates became tangled with each other. It’s where their story begins. Details should be put in for the readers to know exactly what happened on that day for them to be so smitten by one another.

FLOW (9/10)
     The flow was steady enough and everything moved along smoothly. There were no gaps and the timeline was intact. However, there were times when it lagged a bit. Parts of the story were prolonged more than it should have been.
 

WRITING STYLE(4/5)
    I applaud you for having such a wide vocabulary. The business aspect of the story was well done. There was sufficient visual imagery to keep the reader engaged. At times, there would be large paragraphs filled with words that could intimidate readers. I lost my way sometimes and had to get back on track. I suggest you make proper use of spacing so some paragraphs won’t look so jumbled.
 

OVERALL ENJOYMENT (5/5)
    It was a light romance read and I enjoyed it. I had never read a story about an Ikon member before so it was a new experience for me. I finished this story in one sitting and I don’t usually do that unless the story had reeled me in. Thank for the wonderful read.