ANALYST-AGENT CHRONO 
DATE- JUNE 15, 2016
FILE- REVIEW 
AUTHOR- SPARKYULING
"CANDLE IN THE RAIN"


TOTAL 88/100
 

 

TITLE 9/10

Personally, I really liked the title. At first I wasn't sure about how much it had to do with the story, especially since there is a protest song by the same name. But after I read it, I see where you are coming from with it. I thought of it like a symbol of the story as a whole, related the flame to Sungmin and Kyuhyun's love for each other and the rain is....Well, everything that happens to them. Of course, I could be inferring incorrectly or maybe just thinking about it too much, which can also be a problem of sorts for your readers. Overall, I think it's fitting, grabs people's attention but doesn't give away the plot line. I actually got excited about reading from looking at the title.

 

CHARACTERIZATION 28/30

The characterization was phenomenal! Just...Wonderful. I have only a few things but I really nitpicked them. Sungmin is just a great character, he is very unique which is great because he could have been so cliche, just the typical son of a mafia boss who is a bit twisted. But he goes beyond just that, he has compassion and loyalty and dedicated. I think during their conversation in the 101 tower gave agood insight on Sungmin's character, he's actually very thoughtful and logical, Kyuhyun's well-being and happiness is his utmost priority. He has a reason behind his killings, it's not because he wants to or that it's fun for him, he does it for Kyuhyun. He was the main catalyst in the story, pushing the plot along as he pushed Kyuhyun through the fic.

Even though Kyuhyun came across as childish and whiny, which Sungmin berated him for several times so it wasn't oblivious to the rest of the characters. You actually feel for him, I cannot say how many times I've reviewed something where terrible things happen to the main character but I just don't character because they have no personality or their such terrible people themselves, it doesn't matter in the end. Kyuhyun was born into something he couldn't control, it eats him away inside but not for the sole reason of selfishness but because he believes he's hurting Sungmin for being a ghoul.  

Even the side characters were written well and had some kind of personality. Even ones like Taekwoon and Ryeowook who had very limited screen time were interesting and helped the main characters along in the plotline. I wish some of them had more time in the fic because of the them were rather intriguing.


I really enjoyed the juxtaposition of Kyuhyun and Sungmin, Kyuhyun's morality even though he's a ghoul and Sungjong's depravity as a human. It was a nice way to set up the characters in the first chapter, it made them very interesting to read throughout the fic as well. I really liked that you made them rather hateful to each other sometimes, you weren't afraid of having them argue or throw insults even though they are in love. It was a breath of fresh air from other romances I've read. They had a few flaws, but nothing that stands out blaringingly, and I wish they could have had a bit more growth as well.  

 

PLOT 25/30

So, I want to start by saying that I really liked the plot, I thought it was very interesting, it wasn't boring to read at all. But, the major problems I had plot wise was ghouls and plot convenience. Now, don't get me wrong I love the ghoul storyline. I watched Tokyo Ghoul and have read the manga, so I am very familiar with ghouls of that universe. So I think that's why I had a problem, I thought I knew Kyuhyun but I didn't. Which is good that you deviated from the original, but there was also not enough information on the ghouls in your universe. I feel like they need more of an explanation since there were several times in the fic where my head was telling me something different that what I was reading. Now onto plot convenience, there were many a time when I thought something was a little too conducive for the characters/plot. The time when they were seen when they went back to Hong Kong to get married and the prison break come to mind. The prison break was a bit too unbelievable, I know Sungmin is a mafia boss' son but it seemed a little bit too easy and with no help whatsoever, especially since little information was given about it. It was around that time in the plot that had several questions that didn't end up getting answered. Also, up until the end it was very unpredictable, I kept going "I didn't think that was going to happen." Other than that, there wasn't any major problems with plot, it's very nicely done.

 

FLOW 8/10

Pacing was like it started out crawling then broke out into a run. Some time could have been taken more of certain things and less on others. It does throw one off a little bit but not very noticeable. I also want to comment about your chapter length, it went very well with the pacing of the story. Nothing was too short or too incredibly long (though I never complain about long word count myself).

 

WRITING STYLE 9/10

You had a great use of vocabulary, wonderful sentence structure that used a variety of sentence lengths and tons of compound/complex punctuations that makes  everything so easy to read! Your style is simple but intelligent. There was some passive/active voice but not enough for it to be a problem and some word choice that would makes it harder or awkward to read. All in all, it was nicely done and anything barely obstructed the story.

OVERALL ENJOYMENT 9/10

This is probably the highest score I've given for overall enjoyment, I really did enjoy it (actually this is the highest score I've ever given overall)! I thought the plot was interesting and the characters were great, especially their interactions with each other. I'm not even a fan of Kyumin as a ship, but it was still great! Thank you for requesting me, I really loved reading your fic!  
 

 

 

 

 

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