TITLE (5/5)
       I had to do some research on "Dr. Death." Though the person doesn't fit Junho exactly, I get the concept and what you were trying to imply by the title. I believe that it's fitting for the story and is also rather interesting. It's a title that makes people want to read the summary of the fic. Very nice.

 

SPELLING & GRAMMAR (10/20)
      Overall a good vocabulary but throughout the fic there were misspelled words and commonly confused words that need to be changed (like "exasperadedly" is just "exasperated"). There are some errors with compound and complex sentence punctuation as well as basic punctuation.

 

There was a quite a bit of misused phrases or complex expressions. Some examples and how to fix them are...

 

"He had been fooling her all night into thinking she was ready to come but never really allowing her to."

 

What do change is "had been fooling" into "had fooled."

 

"He couldn’t deny the fact that he had been surprised by her sudden change in behavior but he should’ve known better that drunk and miserable females react that way."

 

Instead of "the fact that", it can just be "that" and "females" would sound better as "women." Also, there is passive voice in this sentence, which was a problem in the fic. Try to use active voice when writing, it's easy to use passive voice and pretty much everyone does it but it will really improve the writing overall.

 

The passive voice of that sentence is "had been surprised." So the sentence should be fully reworded as...

 

"He couldn’t deny that the sudden change in her behavior surprised him but he should’ve known better that drunk and miserable women react that way."

 

More examples of passive voice are... "The doctor must be waiting for me!" can just be "the doctor is waiting for me!"

 

"Her arms were wrapped around herself and her expression contorted in a stern frown." You can delete "were" and make it active.

 

I suggest to get a beta to help you with spelling and grammar errors, it will help you out a lot.
 

CHARACTERIZATION (7/20)
    To be perfectly honest... The main characters are bland and two-dimensional. Taeyeon does have a bit of characterization, more than Nickhun and Junho. She is bratty and childish but sadly there is no redeeming quality about her to make be care about her or what happens to her. She also got easily overshadowed by her friends when they were present (who should be two-dimensional characters). Sooyoung was the only interesting character and there was still little detail on her so I based it only on her witty dialogue. She's only show a little bit of character through her words, actions, and emotions. Everything about her is of a one-track nature that's undeveloped and lacking in background, explanation, and depth.

 

Nichkhun was just...There. Meaning, I can't remember anything significant about him besides he was angry at Taeyeon getting him drunk, rightfully so as well. He's wishy-washy, luke-warm, there isn't any distinct thing about him that makes a reader go "oh, I'm glad she cheats Nichkhun is a jerk!" or "I can't believe Taeyeon could cheat, he's such an amazing husband." He doesn't seem like a bad husband, in the end gives her what she wants even after what she did but in the end Nickhun feels more like an accessory than a person.

 

Then there's Junho, who should be a HUGE part of the plot and could have wonderful characterizations. What makes him tick? What makes him do the things he does? Why does he get attracted to Taeyeon? He's a terrible man, he could be a character people love to hate. The way he is portrayed, it is unbelievable that Taeyeon is attracted to him in any way. Sure, he's good looking but when someone makes you uncomfortable, you do not want to be around them let alone have with them. He seemed more like a cardboard cutout for Taeyeon than a character with any backstory or motivation.

 

In the end, the characters have no growth, they aren't fleshed out and they come off very boring. But you definitely get points for Sooyoung, she was wonderful for the small scene she was in.

 

PLOT (10/30)
        I must say, the plot has potential. A lot of potential. If you hadn't rushed through and were more clear about what was happening, it would be a great plot. It is a bit cliché on the surface but Junho can give it more depth and make it unique and interesting. Sadly, there was very little detail on him and what he did. You have to think of a plot like a tree, the trunk is the main plot and all of the leaves and branches are the characters and details of everything that help the story becoming more interesting. Without the detail, you had a very basic plot.

 

I also feel like some things were left out in the story as well. One part that really stuck out to me is Taeyeon's sudden knowledge of Junho killing his patients. There is nothing about this before then, sure she is creeped out by him but how does she know? There isn't any news about killings anywhere in the story previous to the scene where she confronts him. She never had any serious thoughts about him being a killer. He also doesn't do anything to make anyone think he kills people, the only reason I thought he did is because I researched the title and assumed. It was still a surprise when I read the confrontation scene though, it pretty much came out of the blue.

 

Even though the plot does have potential, it's definitely not at the level it could be.

FLOW (3/10)
     With the length of the story, it shouldn't have been so rushed. I felt like the beginning was too slow compared to the rest of the fic that went by in a flash. The transitions between scenes were jerky and often times confusing. It got a sense that the fic got ahead of itself and just jumped to the ending without much explanation and detail as to how it got there. Most of this is already explained in the plot since the flow of the story had a huge impact on it.
 

WRITING STYLE(2/10)
    The writing style is confusing, I kept having to go back a read certain parts since they didn't make much sense because of sentences were structure and how you explained what was happening. There was also a lot of dialogue but most of it didn't seem very important to characters or the plot development.

 

You did have a good variety of sentences and had a lot of different 'sentence starters'. Though, there was some improper formatting and also a lot of wordiness.

 

GRAPHICS (4/5)

It's pretty, though I think green might have been a wrong choice for the main color. Green gives off the feeling of envy, I would choose a color more ominous. Other than that, the blending is nice and it suits the fic.

 

OVERALL ENJOYMENT (1/5)
    Taking it as the psychological thriller with a romantic subplot, I didn't feel like it gave me enough as a reader. It was also rather confusing. It has the potential to be really good though.