TITLE (10/10)
       It is appropriate and encompasses what the story is about so far. The title is very intriguing because of the “The Broken Reflection” part you added in. Since the title ‘Shattered’ is used quite a lot in the AFF community, you made your story stand out by adding those extra words.

      Throughout those chapters, I realized the underlying meaning hidden within your title. Most of the characters have a ‘broken’ side to them that they try to keep hidden from everyone but the real question is, how long can the hide it before it catches up with them?
 

FOREWORD & DESCRIPTION (10/10)
       What I find remarkable about your foreword is the way you pull the reader in and give brief details about the characters, but not too much. You give the reader a small taste of what is to be expected. It contained a short background for Alice and the males who will impact her life throughout her journey and these few details were enough to paint a picture of these characters in my head.

     The curiosity surrounding your final words ‘To fight or To sink’ was very effective. It reeled me in and made me even more curious about the events that would take place in the story. Your placement of those words was brilliant. ‘To fight’ was placed at the top and ‘To sink’ placed diagonally at the bottom. It gave off a strong vibe due to the impending meaning behind it.
 

SPELLING & GRAMMAR (13/15)
      Most of the grammar mistakes were minor such as forgetting to place a full stop after some of your sentences, using the wrong prepositions in some cases and using the words in the wrong context or missing a word, here or there. There were a few other mistakes as well, but it didn’t detract from the story. I strongly suggest that you re-read the chapters and correct them. They are easy to spot.
 

CHARACTERIZATION (13/15)
    The characters have already shown the signs of growth even though it’s only been the first few chapters. Kyungsoo is the hardworking neutral guy that everyone likes. He risked his job and all the work he has put into his life and morals to help Alice, who he secretly loves. Alice is such an unreadable person. By signing that contract and accepting the help of her friends (who she tried to avoid after he incident), it shows that she has grown. That was a big step for someone like her.

     Kai and Sehun are such interesting characters. Their relationship is also very unique and I am curious to know how they will grow in the future. All the characters in the story are all interconnected in some way or the other. However, there was one time when I felt myself get a bit confused.

       I understood your concept of withholding certain information to make the reader curious and it was effective and I know you need to reveal certain information at the right time, however, a little more information (when needed) could help the readers understand the characters more. For instance, when Elena visited Lina. She was already threatened by Alice even though Sehun and Alice have never met. It seemed a bit far-fetched for her to think that Sehun would be interested in Alice when he meets her and forget all about her.

     I’m sure there is a logical explanation for it that will probably be revealed later on, but there are times when a little bit of info won’t hurt. By withholding that part of the information, the reader would see her in a different light and it could make her character seem a bit flat since there is no foundation for her yet. The reason I’m pointing this out is because the others all have a foundation.

PLOT (30/30)
        Even though the plot was in its early stages, the story began to unfold in an unpredictable way. There are stories out there where a reader can usually predict the plot. It was rather refreshing to come across one that had me on my feet since the characters were so unusual and unpredictable. Every now and then you would reveal little bits of crucial information that made the reader wonder what happened in the past for things to be this way.

         No matter how many conclusions I conjured in my head, I could never be sure about it. That curiosity will keep your audience hooked. Kudos to you for honing that skill. There are so many unanswered questions and it keeps me on the edge. Especially when you ended chapter three with that letter. So many questions but the most important question that has been haunting my mind is, why she tried to kill herself? Why do Kyungsoo and Sehun hate each other but Kyungsoo reached out to him? What is kai’s secret motive? The questions are endless.

       Revealing the real reason why Alice decided to sign that contract was the perfect twist. This twist signified to the reader, that the story was about to get heated. Not to mention those letters that are being delivered to everyone. The drama is about to get started.The foundation you have built so far for this plot is well done.

FLOW (9/10)
     The flow was very unusual since the POVs changed a lot with so many people without clarifying who the speaker was. I got confused sometimes until I realized that was your style, then it became second nature to figure out who the speakers were. Even though it was unusual, it fit your story so well. The story is moving at an even pace.
 

WRITING STYLE(5/5)
    I was thoroughly impressed by the structure of your sentences and the use of various figures of speech and adjectives. Especially your prologue and quotes at beginning of each chapter. It made the reading of your story even more enjoyable.
 

OVERALL ENJOYMENT (5/5)
    It was very enjoyable to read a story that keeps me on the edge of my seat and is so unpredictable. For that, you gained full marks. I strongly suggest that you continue whatever you are doing. Good job!