Can I Be Your Memory?
-otf09

It was one of those “I will never get over it” moments. It had already been a month since the break-up and she thought she would have been over it by now (especially since she was the one who had broken it off), but no, Taeyeon kept having these moments. She refused to think about the actual break-up; instead she picked up her phone and started to look through the pictures in it.

Taeyeon sighed as she flipped through the pictures on her phone. Picture after picture brought back another bittersweet memory. She lingered on a specific picture of her and Tiffany. It was probably the first picture they had ever taken together. Taeyeon was smiling awkwardly and Tiffany was kissing her cheek. She sighed again, thinking back to how it all started. It was at a party at Hyoyeon’s house, one that she didn’t really want to be at but was trying to be a good friend and went anyway.

“Spin the bottle? It’s like we’re in middle school again.” Taeyeon heard someone say as she entered the living room to find everyone seated on the floor in a circle.
“Who’s got the bottle?” A girl, who Taeyeon recognized as Tiffany, asked.
She didn’t really know Tiffany all that well. They only had one class together and shared polite chit-chat occasionally.
“Let’s get started!” Some random guy Taeyeon didn’t know announced, putting a bottle in the center of the circle and spun it.
It was stupid, really, and Taeyeon had no idea what she was still doing there until it was her turn. She spun the bottle reluctantly, hoping it didn’t land on some beer soaked frat boy. It spun around, three, four times until it came to a slow stop and pointed towards Tiffany.
“Yes! Finally some action!” Hyoyeon’s annoying boyfriend, Eunhyuk, said.
“Um…” Taeyeon blinked a few times at Tiffany, unsure of what to do.
“Get on it with it!” Another random dude shouted.
Taeyeon slowly moved towards Tiffany. She knew Tiffany was pretty, hell, she was gorgeous but she never truly realized it until she was this close to her.
Taeyeon hesitated even more now, actually giving Tiffany a good look for the first time.
Tiffany smiled and that was about all it took to momentarily daze Taeyeon. Before she could even properly gather herself, Tiffany’s lips pressed against hers.
Taeyeon felt like something clicked inside her. She didn’t know what it was but she felt something and she was sure Tiffany felt it too because the kiss lasted just a little bit too long. It wasn’t until someone loudly cleared their throat that the two broke the kiss.
“Aww! Why’d you break it up?!” Eunhyuk whined and Hyoyeon punched him.
“Anyway! Who’s next?” Hyoyeon quickly asked.

Taeyeon smiled sadly at the memory, now recalling what came after. She and Tiffany could hardly look at each other for days after it. They no longer said hello when they saw each other, instead they just diverted their gaze and hurriedly walked past each other. The awkwardness and embarrassment between the two was too much to bear. Still, Taeyeon couldn’t get Tiffany off her mind. There was something too…real? Special? Taeyeon didn’t know what it was, but that kiss meant something and she wanted to find out what.
They were doing well at avoiding each other until that day in the library.

Taeyeon hated this freakishly huge library. Whenever she wanted a book it was usually on some high unreachable shelf. Right now she was standing on the tips of her toes trying to reach a specific book It was within reach but then her foot started to cramp up and she almost fell backwards had it not been for someone else walking behind her right at that moment.
“I’m really sorry, I-” Taeyeon abruptly stopped when she realized who it was.
Of course, who else could it be but Tiffany?
“I, um, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” Tiffany almost smiled.
Then that awkward silence fell between them, neither knew what to say.
“About-”
“I think-”
They both started at the same time.
“You first.” Tiffany said, the entire time both avoided eye-contact with each other.
“Tiffany…I’m really sorry about the other night.”
“It’s fine.”
“Uh…so…do you think we’ll ever be able to have a decent conversation without feeling incredibly awkward?”
“Probably not.”
“Yeah…again, I’m sorry.” Taeyeon didn’t know what else to say.
“It’s fine.” Apparently, neither did Tiffany because she kept repeating that.
“You think there’s something we can do about it?”
Tiffany took a moment to look Taeyeon straight in the eye before answering. “Yeah, you could just kiss me again and get it over with.”
And Taeyeon did.

That’s what really started it all for them. After that, they were pretty much inseparable. Tiffany began treating Taeyeon’s apartment as her second home. They were in love and neither of them had ever been happier.

Taeyeon pressed the next button on her phone. She let out a weak laugh when she saw the next picture. It was one Tiffany had taken at a party she had forced Taeyeon to go to. Tiffany was all smiles and Taeyeon was pouting. The picture brought on yet another memory. It wasn’t something that happened at the part but rather, on the walk back home after.

“Honestly, Tiffany, you owe me.” Taeyeon grumbled as they walked, arms linked.
“Psh, owe you for what? Sitting on the couch the whole time pouting?” Tiffany sneered, giving Taeyeon a light shove.
“Hey! At least I let you have your fun and didn’t complain.” Taeyeon shoved back.
Tiffany took a second to think about it, her finger on her chin. “Fine, fine. What do I owe you then?”
“A kiss would be enough.” Taeyeon answered, trying to hold back a smile.
Tiffany let out a laugh. “That’s all?”
Taeyeon nodded.
Tiffany laughed again. “Aigoo, Taeyeon-ah. You don’t need to ask me for a kiss.” She paused, facing Taeyeon and taking both of her hands.
“Remember,” Tiffany continued, smiling that smile that Taeyeon couldn’t get enough of. “We’re madly in love so it’s all right to kiss me whenever you feel like it.” Then she leaned in and closed the gap between their lips.

Taeyeon smiled at Tiffany’s cheesiness. She didn’t know why that memory stood out; there was nothing particularly special about it. She guessed it was those little things that meant the most. Those little things were what she missed most about Tiffany. She wondered how Tiffany was taking it now. Probably over it. She did everything she could to avoid the girl, purposely taking different routes to class. She only caught fleeting glances of her two or three times. She heard she found another girlfriend, some girl named Jessica. The thought of Tiffany with someone else began to make Taeyeon mad; she threw her phone on the bed and went to the fridge, searching for some alcohol. Anything to take her mind off of this, but as she held the bottle in her hand she couldn’t help but think back to another night with Tiffany.

Taeyeon was sitting in bed with a book doing her late night studying when she heard the front door burst open. She then heard what sounded like several objects getting knocked onto the floor and someone cursing.
“Fany, is that you?” Taeyeon called, slowly getting up from the bed and making her way to the living room.
“Tiffany?” She saw the younger girl just barely standing up in the middle of the living room, several books and a clock scattered around her feet.
“Taetae.” Tiffany slurred, wobbly walking up to Taeyeon and throwing her arms around her.
Taeyeon involuntarily shied away, Tiffany reeked of alcohol.
“Tiffany, have you been drinking?” Taeyeon asked, though she didn’t know why she di