FINDING YOUR WAY TO ME

Part 2

"Taeyeon ah, I'm done, it's your turn," Yoona yelled from the hallway.

It took her another ten minutes to push back the covers and crawl out of bed. She dragged herself to the bathroom, trying to collect her thoughts. She had no idea how she would ever be able to look Tiffany in the eyes again, and she was pretty sure that Tiffany probably didn't want to speak to her ever again.

While the warm water was running down her tired body, she contemplated what she was going to do once she sees Tiffany today. There was no way to avoid it, all of them had the same schedules for the day. She decided that she had to talk to Tiffany. Clear some air. Her only problem was that she didn't know how to. She couldn't explain things which she didn't understand herself. It was like going in circles. Her mind was tired of wanting to figure out what was wrong with her. It kept her from sleeping and slowly the sleepless nights were catching up to her.

Once she got out of the shower she yelled, "Sooyoung, get your in the shower!"

She walked to the kitchen to get something to drink. Out of the corners of her eyes she could see Tiffany sitting at the table with Seohyun, Sunny, Yuri and Hyoyeon but she didn't dare to look at her directly. Everybody had greeted her except Tiffany.

Suddenly, there manager oppa came in, "There's a change of plans. We will all still go to the recording of Star Golden Bell except Tiffany and Taeyeon. Instead, they will be going to the recording of Star King."

Taeyeon's head snapped up as soon as she heard her name being said, not knowing whether to be mortified or glad about it. It means she will have some alone time with Tiffany. It would give her a chance to talk with her, if only she knew what to say. That was what scared her. She had no idea what to say or whether she could do or say anything that would make last night go away and things to be forgotten.

"Why does it have to be me? I like Star Golden Bell." Tiffany interjected and Taeyeon quickly glanced at her when she heard her speaking. Tiffany looked tensed and maybe angry and it seemed that she, too, was doing everything she could to not look at Taeyeon.

Their manager oppa looked puzzled for a moment but then simply shrugged, "Well, they had a request for the both of you."

Letting out a small sigh, Taeyeon started to walk back into her room to fetch the rest of her things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day dragged on and Taeyeon found herself being distracted more and more away from the recording. This thing with Tiffany was really bothering her and she needed to do something about it and the only way was to talk to Tiffany but for that she had to find her first. She hadn't seen her since they had gotten a break from filming and she had a slight idea that Tiffany was trying on purpose to avoid her.

The car ride here, wasn't any better. Tiffany sat in the front seat, while Taeyeon sat in the back by herself. Tiffany had her music blasting through out the whole ride, but the only difference was that she wasn't singing along to it.

It took her exactly ten minutes to talk herself into searching for Tiffany and talking to her. After looking for Tiffany for at least another half an hour, Taeyeon got fed up with it and decided to make their manager oppa fetch her. She went back to their dressing room and now all she could do was to wait. Pacing up and down in the waiting room, she checked her watch every minute or so it seemed.

"What the..." Taeyeon sprung around abruptly when she heard someone speaking.

And there she was. Standing right in front of her and looking pissed. Taeyeon swallowed and tried to remember what she wanted to say. Unfortunately, she couldn't even remember if she had even thought of something yet. She felt her stomach flip and her nerves seemed to leave her.

"Did you asked for me to come here to stare at me? Cause I've actually got better things to do." Tiffany snapped at her.

"No, I just wanted..." Taeyeon stopped for a moment. What exactly did she want? Apologize? Get another chance? Slightly shaking her head, she sighed.

"I really don't have the patient for that right now." Tiffany scoffed and placed her hand on the handle, ready to leave again.

"Fa..." Taeyeon started but Tiffany cut her off.

"Tiffany," She corrected her and Taeyeon felt worse than before, "I think we should go back to that and stay there."

Taeyeon looked at her for a moment, deciding what to say next. "What if I don't want that?" She finally managed to get out, almost inaudible but Tiffany could still make out the words.

"I don't think you really know what you want," Tiffany shrugged, "I don't think we have anything left to talk about."

She couldn't blame her. If she were Tiffany, she would probably do the same things. There wasn't anything she could do to assure her that she did want to try. After all, she wasn't completely sure. She had no idea what she wanted and she felt like she also didn't have the chance to find out what she wanted.

Tiffany seemed to take her silence as a sign that there was nothing left Taeyeon wanted to say. She turned around and grabbed the door knob, slowly turning around.

"I don't know what I'm doing or trying to do," Taeyeon finally blurted out, "Tiffany ah, please." She was practically begging at this point but she couldn't just let her leave and leave things to be the way they are now.

"What do you want, Taeyeon ah," Tiffany asked without turning around.

"I don't know," Taeyeon let out a defeated sigh, "I just don't know."

It was silent. Taeyeon's words hang in the air and neither seemed to know what to say next. Tiffany still had her back towards her and Taeyeon grew more restless with every passing second. She just wanted Tiffany to turn around, show that she had heard her words and talk to her.

"Fa....Tiffany ah." She pleaded and conveyed what she was feeling inside. All of her desperation to figure out what was going on inside of her, and her need for Tiffany to do so.

It seemed like an eternity but finally, Tiffany was facing her again, "What do you want from me?"

"I wish I knew." Taeyeon let out, yet another defeated sigh. On one hand she was glad that at least Tiffany recognized her presence again, but on the other hand, she knew it wouldn't stick long if she wasn't able to eventually come up with something more substantial than 'I don't know'. That was getting tiring, not only for Tiffany.

"Then what do you expect from me?" Tiffany gave her a questioning look and ran her hand through her hair, a sure sign that she was getting frustrated with her.

"Can we just talk about it?" Taeyeon gave her a helpless shrug.

The moment Tiffany opened to reply, one of the technical director yelled through the door, "We need SNSD on set," and even though she couldn't say for sure, Taeyeon had seen some kind of relief on Tiffany's face.

"We...I...I need to go," She offered before she quickly turned to leave.

"Wait," Taeyeon called after her, "can we talk later?" But before she had pronounced all the words, the door had already closed behind Tiffany. Taeyeon was sure that at least half of the sentence hadn't reached Tiffany, intentionally or unintentionally.

Frustrated, she let herself fall down on one of the chairs behind her and surely enough, she managed to hit her head at the wall behind her. Today clearly wasn't her day. Who is she kidding? It hasn't been her day for a while now, she brought her hands up to rub at her temple. She was still rubbing her head when the door opened again. With a tiny glimpse of hope Taeyeon looked up, wishing to see Tiffany standing in front of he