The days passed as they always did. Joy didn't have all the chances she wanted to see Sungjae for the last time. She was an officer of her club. Sungjae was the same. Both of them were busy as graduation slowly approached. They needed to assign new officers. They had papers for college to attend to, especially Joy who wanted to get into Ehwa and on a scholarship. It was a tough competition for Korean students at that time. Both of them didn't want to regret anything at that moment. 

Then the day Joy was nervous about arrived. It was the last day of their graduation practice. If she wanted to tell Sungjae anything, that was her last chance. She won't be able to talk to Sungjae on the graduation day itself. They weren't classmates and her family will leave as soon as the program finishes. Her palms were getting sweaty as their teacher said it was their last round of the program before going home. She glanced in Sungjae's direction for more than a few times. She was so nervous. 

"Okay, great job, kids!" Their teacher clapped before dismissing them with a smile. "Congratulations and have fun while you can! You aren't high schoolers after tomorrow!"

"We'll basically be out-of-school youth before we could enroll though," Joshua whispered to Hyuk, getting a small chuckle from him. 

"I heard Sungjae was going to give his answer to Joy later. You aren't going to stop him?" Hyuk asked. Joshua smiled to himself, a bit of sadness in his eyes.

"If Joy can be happy with him, who am I to stop them right? I'm sure I can find a person fated for me. It's just that Joy isn't her."

"Tough luck," Hyuk patted his back," You're charming and handsome anyway. You can get the next woman you'll fall in love with."

Joshua noticed Sungjae running off as soon as he signed his name on the attendance. His eyes followed him, until Sungjae got to talk to Joy. Joy looked so nervous. Joshua's chest ached. He wanted that same reaction from her. He wanted to make her heartbeat quicken. He wanted her to acknowledge him as more than a friend. He wanted to hug her, kiss her, but he knew it was impossible. Joy loved Sungjae. And Sungjae looked like he realized he loved her back. Joshua was just an extra, someone easily forgotten by the main leads. He looked down before looking in another direction. He didn't want to cry. But he needed to. Soon. 

"This is the last day," Joy managed to say as she tried to keep up with Sungjae's footsteps," Where are you taking me?" 

"Somewhere quiet," Sungjae answered before staying quiet again. He seemed troubled. Joy didn't know why. She thought she was already there. Then why? Why did his eyes show doubt? Why did his pace tell her of uneasiness? Did he realize something? Or was she overthinking again? She didn't know. She didn't want to know all over again. She was so nervous. Those two words were the only words he said to her while they were together. 

"What's the matter?" 

Silence. 

What's the matter? She wanted to ask that to herself suddenly. Of course, Sungjae wouldn't tell her while they weren't in the quiet place he spoke of. She felt her chest getting heavy. Her hands were starting to tremble. Her insecurities were attacking her again. Did he realize she wasn't good enough? She knew she wasn't good enough. But she hoped that wasn't the case. She prayed it wasn't the case. 

"Joy," Sungjae stopped in his tracks. Joy looked around her and noticed this was the place she told him of her burdens. He held her tight that time. It felt nostalgic. Her feelings weren't this complicated back then. Sungjae turned to her, a sad smile on his face. 

"I'm sorry..." 

It came off as a whisper. He was so cheerful when he told her to meet with him. But why did it change? She prayed for it to be a dream. 

"I'm really sorry, Joy..."

But it wasn't. Joy felt numb. No tears came out. She could feel her heart slowly shattering. She could feel each piece piercing her insides. She could feel her mind become blank. 

Why?

Her mind croaked. But of course, Sungjae couldn't hear her. Why did he lead her on? She thought she was there. She thought she managed to steal his heart. Was it all a failure? A waste? Were her efforts all for nothing? She opened but no words left her lips. She didn't know what to say. It's alright? I expected it? It's fine? Okay? No, it wasn't. There was no use lying. Her face said everything. 

"It's not you, it's me."

No, don't say that. 

She repeated in her mind. That line was so cliche. She hated it. She slowly raised her hand but she couldn't slap him. Tears formed in her eyes as soon as she saw his face. He looked so sorry, so sincere. She loved him, so dearly, with all of her heart. Wasn't that enough to convince him? Was that his real reason? She didn't want to believe him. But she had no choice right? 

"Please say something."

What? What should I say?

She didn't know herself. She didn't know how to react. This was the first time she invested this much to one person. This was the worst heartbreak she ever experienced. 

"Joy?"

Don't say my name, please.

She slowly knelt on the ground and wept. Sungjae didn't know what to do. He knew it wasn't right for him to reject a girl the day before their graduation. But this was their deadline. She failed. He told her his sincere feelings. He didn't fall in love with her. He thought he did. But he was wrong. Another guy deserved her more. Joy would only get hurt if she stayed at his side. Sungjae was still inexperienced and she will never be a priority to him. She didn't deserve that. She deserved a guy who will put her first, someone who will always be there for her. This reasoning was flawed but this was how Sungjae understood everything. 

"Leave me alone," Joy whimpered. He wanted to comfort her but he knew it was better if he left her alone. He turned his back to her, putting out his phone. 

Joshua, Joy's in the park near school. Come to her ASAP. I'm sorry. 

The next day, Sungjae just couldn't stop looking at Joy. Her aura changed. Nonetheless, she still looked beautiful. Joshua told him that he brought Joy home after comforting her. He questioned Sungjae's decision. Why did he reject her? Everyone thought Joy stood a chance. No one thought this would happen. Even Sungjae didn't know. But that was his decision. Joy deserved the best in life, after experiencing some of life's worst. Sungjae knew he wasn't in love with her. He just liked her company more than another person's. He kept trying to make up reasons why he wasn't in love with her.

Joy never looked at him. She didn't glance at him. She felt hurt. She was hurt. And he was the reason for that hurt. She still felt the pieces of her heart piercing her. She felt her whole body getting numb. Every time she closed her eyes, she would remember that moment. She hated it. She hated herself for not being able to make him fall for her. She felt so weak, so vulnerable. 

That was the last time she'd see him. She took one glance before leaving the place. She wasn't in the mood to deal with anything. Sungjae caught her glance. He knew he was at fault but that was it. This was the end. 

Their time was up. 

A/N

Now that this ended, I wanted to say this fic was closely related to how my last junior high crush ended. Except, I changed it a bit so I don't look so pitiful lol 

Don't worry, I'm fine by now! I transferred schools like Joy did and well, I'm being taken care of now compared to last year lol I'm really happy now and more confident than I was last year. 

Thanks for supporting this fic! Also, I'll write an epilogue for this next! I hope you look forward to the very last chapter of this fic of mine! I love you, guuuys <3