[R] Gehenna- Dhaatk

7ƬЂ ЂΑ√૯ท ૨૯√I૯ખ + ΑĐ√૯૨ƬIઽ૯ʍ૯ทƬ ઽЂѲΡ// Closed for the holidays~// Finishing requests
Please Subscribe to read the full chapter
7thhaven Gehenna By dhaatk R Read Story ◀ View Author ◀ Credit Us ◀   Reviewer officiallyfluffy   Duration 12.6.15 to 12.9.15   Genre mystery, angst   Characters Yunjae   Overall Grade 90.5%   KEYpoints Title: 4/5 For the title, you even placed the meaning of it on the description and since it’s a rare, uncommon and of course not a typical one, it sure could attract readers at first glance, and a one word title is hard to find and use and also hard to relate to the story, most of the areas are fitted to your story, however, when it comes to either it being relatable or not, I’d say half and a half. For all the suffering and misery mentioned, it could actually come to misleading as your description says otherwise since they are really more into romance, but it change again when it comes to the short paragraphs you’ve written in the foreword which is really angst-y like, but this is nothing to worry about as the plots are what matters and I’ll elaborate about it more below.

Poster: 5/5 The poster was beautifully designed and it also fit the theme/genre of your story, and the designer that made it was a skilled one, so full marks and full stop.

Description + Foreword: 8/10 Description – 5/6 Before I start with anything, I’d like to suggest for you to move the paragraphs in the foreword, and also the trailer below the real description part because as far as I’m concerned, they are also part of the description and not the foreword, which also explain the deducted point.

Now, let’s move towards the real thing. I do think that your description could raise curiosity among readers, as the way it was written was very smooth and it also doesn’t reveal much or hide too much which is a good thing since we want readers to read more and click the next button, so kudos to you for that. To continue what I said above, I actually think that it’s a good idea to move the short paragraphs in the foreword to the description part; giving readers a bit of this and that in addition about what the story would or could possibly be about, and that’s partly the answer to your question, since I find it much more attractive that way, you want to appeal to your readers and you’ll have it. Foreword – 3/4 The same thing as above, the credits and other things such as author’s note or notifying of the story entering a contest unless required to put in the description is in the foreword, that’s the norms of it, also why I deduct one point, only one, since the other parts were all organized.

Layout: 4/5 Overall, I think that the font isn’t cringe-worthy or anything like that, but the layout is actually a bit messed up when I’m reading the story using my phone (and I don’t know if it’s only me but I have to scroll left before going down or right to left again and again to read everything, and note that I only use mobile phone to read/review rated stories) so I hope that you can fix that, I think it has something to do with the width (?) if you’re actually changing the ‘px’ rather than using the original width or something, but if you don’t, then I’d like to apologize beforehand, but it’s really messed up on mi
Please Subscribe to read the full chapter
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
lightning6
syamimiyana- Review #2 is finished~^^

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
syamimiyana
#1
request advertisement~
syamimiyana
#2
Chapter 59: Chapter 50: srsly thnks for the review !
thts helps me a lot~
u know what kind of story that i wrote XD
and that surprised me that you knew what kind of worried that playing in my mind.
syamimiyana
#3
thnks for the review XD
syamimiyana
#4
req advertisement ~
syamimiyana
#5
Thanks a lot XD
kkimkaisoo
#6
I have requested
Elythia
#7
I have requested! Thank you :)
president_byun
#8
requested and sent the kp.
kristinxm
#9
Chapter 57: Thank you for the 3S! ^^
syamimiyana
#10
req to review !