I'm Not Desperate...But I wish You would Notice me By: Crystallixmagix. Title 5/5: Yout title fits the kind of story you are writing, and it fits the plot very well~

Poster 55:  --

Description & Foreword 8/10: Your description has a few punctuation mistakes, Example: You do not need many '.....' you only need about 3 to make it sound like you want it to. and your ','  You do not put a space at the end of the word, then put the comma, you only put a space afer the comma.
Layout 5/5: Your story is very organized and neat. 

Characterization 13/15: You are very deatiled with your characters! Which is a very good thing, and you should keep it up. But i think you need just a bit more details on how your chracters feel, and what they see. Pretend you are in their shoes and go from there.

Plot 28/30: Like i said above, you need to focus on more details about their surroundings and feelings. It helps inprove in your writing skills, makes the story more interesting and the chapters will be longer.


Grammar and vocabulary 15/20: The only thing you had trouble with was with capitalization. You would put capitals at the beginning of many words when it was in the middle of the sentence. If the word is not somebodies name, or a place. You do not need to capitalize the word

Personal Enjoyment 10/10: I enjoyed the story, it made me laugh a few times. Fighting^^

Total: 89/100

Reviewers Note:  Thanks agai