Fight

Jiyong awoke to the familiar beeping of his phone and grunted in response. Using the back of his hand, he carelessly rubbed his eyes, feeling the whiskey-driven hangover settle in. A couple incoherent words left his lips as he reached for the cellular device. His eyes squinted at the bright-coloured screen as he read the received text message.

It had been sent by Xin, inviting him out to the club, mentioning something about a certain Japanese model by the name of Nana that had wanted to meet him. The idea didn’t even remotely entertain him; and if he was entirely honest, no other girl seemed relevant asides from Chaerin recently. He understood that his friends were just trying to cheer his spirits up, but they didn’t see it like he did.

They couldn’t recognize that he consistently looked at the empty seat across from his where her figure used to sit. Eating at their usual hangout wasn’t amusing to him anymore, not when her presence wasn’t there. Food just simply didn’t taste good if he wasn’t gazing at the curve of her lips, or the twinkle of her crescent shaped eyes. +82 wasn’t a crew if she was missing.

In most recent weeks, he had grown accustomed to staying home and drinking in silence. Occasionally, lyrics would derive from his drunken state, but it was constantly about her. He would brush the thoughts about her off as soon as they came, but it was never quick enough; there was always that twinge of incomprehensible pain in his chest whenever his thoughts strayed to her, and that was fine, he could live with that.

It had been a while since they last talked, and Jiyong lost count of the days several weeks ago. All he knew was, he felt empty, almost numb, like something had been harshly ripped away from his grasp. But that was also fine. It was whatever. Sure, he missed her, and yes, they could’ve been the best before he ed up. Jiyong recognized that better than anyone. There was no point dwelling on it now.

Jiyong wrapped the blankets nonchalantly around him and attempted to doze off, but it was no use. He was already awake and it consistently happened when his thoughts wandered to her, not that he really liked to acknowledge he loses sleep over her or even the fact that he thinks about her. Jiyong blinked his eyes open before swiftly flipping onto his back; his brain was fuzzy but his recollections of her remained vivid. His mind drifted to the past, to her smile, to the way her crimson lips tasted and felt against his own.

He questioned how she was doing, and if she was happy and living freely in LA. He wondered if she was eating well, recalling how she would unintentionally miss meals in the past due to her busy schedule. Sometimes, he’d let his selfishness consume him and pray she felt just as miserable as him, so he can justify that what they had was real.

Jiyong momentarily debated on whether to call her but decided against the idea and settled for the glistening vodka bottle sitting, taunting at him to grab instead. His fingers loosely wrapped around the cylinder and he hastily took a generous gulp, feeling the all-too familiar warm sensation in his stomach.

“How was it?” Chaerin tentatively questioned, unsure if she was overstepping but the curiosity ate at her.

He shrugged almost disregarding he was over the phone and tha