Stay

Jiyong sighed, frowning; his eyebrows steadily creasing while his eyes glanced at the caller ID. He couldn’t bring himself to answer his phone.

“I don’t get you.” Hongjun spoke, eyeing his dongsaeng warily.

“Huh?” Jiyong replied, slowly peeling his eyes away from the screen until they made eye contact with Teddy.

“You guys are finally dating–“ He stopped when Jiyong gave him a certain look and instead, corrected himself. “Or whatever you guys are. The point is, you finally got the girl and now you won’t answer her calls.”

“Hyung, it’s not that easy.” Jiyong reasoned, adverting his eyes back to his iPhone when a notification that Chaerin had left a voicemail came.

Hongjun allowed a moment of silence as he studied Jiyong’s upset demeanor that was unable to be detected by the untrained eye. He softly exhaled, bringing his headphones down, allowing them to hang from his neck as his full attention was now turned to Jiyong.

“She told you that the kiss with Ash happened a while back so why can’t you trust her?” Hongjun asked, raising both legs on the leather couch as he awaited an answer.

“It’s not that either hyung. I do trust her, more than I should actually.” Jiyong’s voice was soft and uneasy; it became obvious he was uncomfortable with the current topic. He sulked further into his office chair, casually spinning it around.

“What the hell are you talking about Kwon Jiyong?” Hongjun queried, eyeing the leader down.

Jiyong sluggishly turned back to Teddy, and allowed a loud sigh to escape from his lips. He raised both arms to stretch before dropping them down and bringing his face into his hands.

“I don’t even know anymore.” Jiyong rubbed both hands along his face in utter frustration. He inhaled briefly, trying to compose together some comprehensive words. “I just think…I’m not enough for her sometimes.”

Hongjun frowned, allowing silence to hang over the room as Jiyong struggled to organize his thoughts.

“, I really can’t be doing this right now.” Jiyong mumbled, more to himself than the other member as he fumbled with the iPhone located between his fingers.

“You okay?”

“Kiko.” Jiyong muttered in a voice so soft that it became barely coherent.

“Kiko?”

“Yes…Kiko.”

“Care to explain? Ji?”

“It had somehow always been Kiko. She was my 24/7 and my entire life revolved around her. We had a whole future planned out together and–that was it. She was it for me. She was the last. She was my forever. I didn’t believe I could ever love someone so much again, and–“ Jiyong momentarily paused, hesitant on the words he was about to say, “Chaerin, she made me question everything.”

“Don’t you think that means something?” Hongjun replied, now plotting himself upright, entirely focused on the current subject.

Jiyong sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It does.” He admitted.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t think I ever want to feel the way I did again. Seeing the scandal hurt and I don’t want to go through any of this. I can’t hand out my ing heart on a silver platter anymore.” Jiyong confessed, his fingers now fidgeting with one another.

Hongjun assessed the situation, selecting his words carefully. Jiyong was now a ticking bomb and he absolutely did not want to set him off.

“You’re not even remotely giving this a chance.”

“Because I can’t!” Jiyong paused, briefly apologizing for the sudden outburst. He continued, decreasing his tone, “I realize that I can’t do this a second time around. I’m not that same hopeless romantic anymore.” He frowned, gritting his teeth.

Hongjun allowed a deep breath to escape from his lips as he processed Jiyong’s words.

“You’re a ing idiot, Jiyong.” He finally said as he perused the latter’s shocked expression.

“What?”

“If you let such an amazing person go, you’re a . And I promise you will ing regret it.” Hongjun scolded with a serious look spread across his face.

Jiyong looked down, refusing to meet Hongjun’s intimidating gaze. He hastily exhaled, fixating his eyes on a framed image from his recent Vogue photo-shoot.

“Hyung, I feel like the problem with breaking up after a long-term relationship is that there are always too many moments and memories and promises that stay. Chaerin deserves someone who doesn’t have their mind ed up on the idea of love.” Jiyong finally spoke, a vacant