Title : Of numbers and evenness.

Character : Jeonghan, Hansol, Seungkwan, Seungcheol.

Paring : JeongSol, 2Seung

Genre : Angst?

Length : oneshot

Warning : Self harm, depression.

Synopsis : [Domestic!AU] Jeonghan starts keeping track of their evenness and that’s when things starts going out of hand.

A/N : Based on this poem which I like a lot. 

It was June the 16th when Jeonghan first met Hansol through two mutual friends, Seungkwan and Seungcheol. The two mentioned males are lovers and they both happened to think that it was a good idea to match their best friends together. Jeonghan eventually lets them since it wasn’t the first time he was being set up with one of their many best friends. 

Hansol was the tenth but the last because after twelve dates that both Jeonghan and Hansol had gone out to, Hansol had eventually asked Jeonghan to be his but not without having to confessed twice because the first time, Hansol stuttered so much, his words didn’t make that much sense so he had to do it for the second time. His words, of course, came out clearer than before. It takes Jeonghan eight ‘yes’ before he settled for the confession. And ever since then, despite a few ups and downs they’ve been through, they have managed to date for about six years before the two had decided that it was ideal to settle in a shared apartment. 

Jeonghan doesn’t accurately remember when but he started taking notes about how everything that revolved around him and Hansol had always been of even numbers. It had also been of a coincidence that his birthday and Hansol’s birthday happens to fall on even days. It wasn’t as if he was bothered by it but he progressively takes note of it more consciously after the few months that he and Hansol had moved in together. 

He remember how he had once caught the brunette counting the steps he takes, the knocking on doors and the number of time the other male had turn the lights on and off. And if that wasn’t enough, Hansol would sometimes leave the door open and when Jeonghan comes back from work late at night, he would have to remind Hansol constantly that if the door isn’t close, anything can happen to him if intruders were to come in. Hansol would then mutters his apologies with kisses; he would then give Jeonghan twenty two kisses, adding two more to make it to a even number and another because the eighteenth kiss, Hansol’s lips met only the sides of Jeonghan’s lips.

That night Jeonghan went to sleep peacefully and he was glad because some nights, especially ones where he gets good dreams, he would often find himself being awaken to Hansol’s continuous cursing. The other male would constantly repeat the word “” because he had accidentally knock his toes to the side of the door and it doesn’t stop until the pain goes away and until he reaches an even number. When that happens, Jeonghan would try to sleep it off, only for him to dream about him and Hansol going to a opera and to hear the word ‘ being sung in style of the Bohemian Rhapsody.

The brunette apologizes to him the next day, saying that it was the new medication that had kicked him up badly. It wasn’t like Hansol didn’t knew about the fact that he has this disorder, he had done everything, from medications after medications to treatments and therapies and even counselling sessions. And in fact, Hansol had always been described to a newer medication, a stronger one - and it ticks the other male off.

The hazel-haired male hated the ideas of having to see Hansol in the state the male is in; vulnerable and hopeless. With each newer medication Hansol is given, he turns to someone else. There were times where Jeonghan catches the other in the bathroom, locked up and caught up in tears that threaten to fall and Jeonghan knows the male is holding them in, thinking his lover was asleep when he’s not. And there are times where Hansol are especially cold towards Jeonghan in a manner where if Jeonghan were to romanticized depression in a poetic form, Hansol’s eyes would be ice; beautiful and cold but no longer alive to Jeonghan.

Two nights later, he came home greeted with sound of sirens and flashing red and blue lights and he watched as his lover is being taken away. They told him he had accidentally cut himself in the wrist while chopping ingredients to cook. They even told him that it was weird that both his wrist was cut but Jeonghan knew why and does not mention a thing.

The raven-haired visits him for 29 days but Jeonghan doesn’t see him on the 30th visit.