Telling you he loves you and he's sorry does not make it all right. 

 

Ever. 

 

-

 

That evening Sehun has actually booked a restaurant for dinner. The food is perfectly decent, and the staffs are friendly. The waiter hands us menus, but I don't even bother reading mine. I know already I will have the chicken with white wine sauce, my favorite. 

 

The evening progresses into drunkenness. The wine arrives and the waiter pours us each a glass. 

 

"Congrats on turning twenty four, jagi." He cheers, raising his glass.

 

"Thanks." I give a short reply, put the glass to my lips and take a mouthful of the liquor.

 

While we wait for the food to arrive, he shows me around the place, wine glasses in hand. I have to admit that my husband is trying to give his best in planning and celebrating my birthday despite of our misunderstanding that occurred few months ago, his expression gives it all. 

 

The place is stunning, as if it is designed specifically for those who want to celebrate important days, to share good news with their beloved ones. 

 

"Just imagine us having a baby shower here.. " 

 

I am stunned in horror, cursing myself under my breath for bringing up wrong topic in our conversation. Oh Sehun stops walking in surprise.

 

Oh, help. This isn't looking good. 

 

"You still want that? Kids, I mean?" 

 

I choke on my wine and my eyes bulge. I shoot up my eyebrow, setting down the wine glass on the table. 

 

"Of course I do! Did you think —" 

 

"You seemed to have gone off the idea, that's all." 

 

Slightly mocking, he puts his arms around himself. I know Sehun still cannot brush off his mind about the misunderstanding that happened between us, and now he finally drops the boom once again, intentionally. 

 

"Sehun, what are you talking about? I've always wanted a family. I thought you knew that?" 

 

It is almost dark now I can barely watch his expression and the warmth has melted from the air. Suddenly the place seems too public of a place to be having this conversation. Oh Sehun begins walking again, he chooses not to reply me. 

 

I keep my pace with him. 

 

"I know things have been difficult lately, Sehun. I know I've ruined everything, I've ruined my husband's hope. I felt as if I was in a sort of... tunnel. I couldn't see how I was going through it alone." 

 

"You couldn't see how you're going through it alone? I'm your husband, for God's sake! I am here, what do you mean you're alone?" 

 

"You're always busy, Sehun! So ing busy that you forgot you have a wife waiting for you at home! Everyday!" I retort. The alcohol buzz through my body, lending me courage. 

 

"What? That cannot be the reason you lied to me! About baby at that. It's ing stupid —" 

 

Oh God I can't believe this. 

 

I chuckle. "Stupid reason you said?" 

 

His mouth falls open as if he wanted to speak, but then it snap shut, seconds later. I grab my clutch and put a pressure on my feet, finally walk out the place without having to touch the main course. 

 

"Jagiya, wait," Sehun calls for me, he's trying to keep his pace with me and when he's just two steps closer he grabs my right hand and pulls me back facing him. 

 

"Jagiya, please. I'm sorry," 

 

I lower my head and inhale, and exhale. My chests rise up and down trying to catch the breath, as if I'm short of oxygen I feel like I will collapse any time soon. 

 

"You have no idea how I felt when I prepared dinner everyday to find that you only showed up after midnight. When I woke up you were already gone for work, we didn't even have time to ask each other 'how's your day?'. You maybe think of this as childish, but seriously Sehun? You've changed. Like a lot." 

 

"And when you found the pregnancy test and this misunderstanding occurred, I was flattered to see you coming home for dinner, you were being so caring, you took a very much care about me — or pretty much, you're being careful about 'our baby'. Was that a mistake to you? That I would do anything, including telling you lies that I was pregnant just to feel my husband's warmth again?" 

 

"I'm really sorry, jagiya. I was being selfish I didn't realize —" 

 

"You know what's even worse? You forgot about my dad's death anniversary. But I was trying to be positive, Sehun. Maybe you're busy you became forgetful, maybe you're just too tired to remember this unimportant date, but Sehun... before you came, my dad was the only family I had. Can you be more understanding?" I say in a lower voice. 

 

Oh Sehun pulls me closer, burying my face into his broad chest. I finally let out the heavy sobs until my body shakes violently. 

 

"Oh my goodness, what have I done?" 

 

I can listen to his murmurs while he's hugging me, his arms fold around my waist. 

 

"If.. If you do..don't lo..love me any..more we can.. we can just get.. get a di..divor — " 

 

"Jagiya, what are you talking about?! Are you crazy?! I won't divorce you — no, we will never get a divorce! Don't mention about divorce again, if you dare.. " 

 

Sehun wipes the tears away my cheeks using his thumbs, and places a kiss on my forehead. 

 

It is deep.

 

Long.

 

And warm. 

 

"I love you, okay? You know more how much I love you, jagi. Please don't mention about divorce," 

He takes my right hand and places it on his cheek, his eyes are misty. 

 

"I cannot promise you a baby, Sehun. But I can ensure you, you're the only man I love until now. Please forgive me for being stupid the other day. I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear." 

 

Oh Sehun nods, his eyes are observing my face, and I miss this. I miss the way he stares at me, eyes to eyes, his fingers trailing on my skin, his voice whispering nice words into my ears. 

 

I miss you, Oh Sehun. 

 

"It's my fault, I was being selfish, I forgot about my wife. If we can't get our own baby, we can always figure other ways out. IVF, adoption, anything. As long as you're with me." 

 

He vows.

 

"Thank you," I mouth the words, and kiss his fingers.

 

Oh Sehun gives me his wide smile, a glint appears in his beautiful eyes. 

 

As long as I am with you. 

---

Author's note: 

A bit of angst and romance in this chapter because I miss the warm and fluffy Sehun. It's been a while since he started to be such a cold husband, and truthfully I don't like his character. So, any guess on how the next chapter will be? 

Leave comment, sweethearts! I love you guys and happy new year xx