Chapter 11: Who Are You

Forty-eight hours.

When the dawn comes I can barely move, every muscle has seized up. My body is struggling to recover, to repair the damage. I open my eyes slowly, feeling dizzy. My eyes wander around the house in mess, the broken glass is everywhere, the smell of an expiry food is strangling around my nose.

I cannot feel my lower part at first, but when I try to move, the pain is like a knife being twisted in my spine. It shoots up fast, erasing every thought from my head and paralyzing my body. Apparently I scream, because by the time I see Min Kyung, my speech can only come out in faltering gasps as I struggle to make my brain listens to her panic voice and respond with something appropriate.

“M-min Kyung-ah, ah pa yo.. “

“Y/N - ah, open your eyes! Help, someone help!”

She’s running out and into the house back and forth, crying, screaming hysterically.

Min Kyung is kneeling by me, I remember that. She’s my hair with shaking hands, over and over, saying that she will get Oh Sehun fast.

Saying that Oh Sehun will come.

He will.

But her tears betray her words.

I am on the floor in a bitter cold, the complete lack of noise hurting my ears, and part of me wonders whether or not to make a last wish.

Pulling my white cardigan washed with blood more tightly around my shoulders, I am exhaling long and loud, as I watch a leaf falls in front of me from the window outside. I’ve managed to stop crying, which is a good thing. I’ve never shed so many tears before. Any more and I’m pretty sure they would have started to freeze into icicles.

I tremble slightly and gaze at the fallen leaf.  

I close my eyes and wish.

I wish that Oh Sehun will come back to me and fix what he has broken.

I wish Oh Sehun will listen to me.

I wish Oh Sehun can be trusted.

I wish that it will all be okay.

I feel dizzy suddenly. As if all the blood in my head has dropped into my feet. And I feel sick. And my lips hurt. They bleed.

“Sehun-ah,”

I choke, as I realize I'm having some bizarre kind of panic attack. Min Kyung is screaming for help, I can hear her from inside. I’m trying to stand up, and zooming my visions in on the nearest table. Before my knees buckle, I immediately wobble towards it. But then everything blurs before me.

In my hazy vision I notice someone is coming over to catch my body, and hold out his arms for me as I fall backwards.

And then everything goes black.

*****

Oh Sehun arrives at the Seoul National Hospital within thirty minutes. He briefly thanks Jongin’s personal driver before racing down to the accident and emergency ward.

He meets Min Kyung in the hallway, she looks pale with puffy eyes, her shirt stained with blood. To be honest, she looks like she’s still in an utter daze. Oh Sehun hurries over when he sees Min Kyung. is moving but he hasn’t a clue what she’s saying.

“What’s happening?! Where is she?”

“It-it’s her step bro-brother. She’s critical.”

On that moment, everything goes silent in his head.

His princess. His poor princess.

It’s your fault, Oh Sehun.

You should never have left. She couldn’t be alone.

You’re selfish. Selfish for leaving.

“She’s in the intensive care unit. Cubicle two.” Min Kyung says, trying hard to hide her sobs.  

Oh Sehun pulls open the curtain and stands there for a moment, gathering his courage. As he nears his heart falls right through his sneakers. She's more purple than white. Her beautiful eye is swollen, as her face still bears congealed blood and her clothes are an utter mess.

His princess is propped up against two white pillows. She’s hooked up to all kinds of monitors and machines. Her face is pale, and sweaty.

In one shattered moment his heart and breathing stop, just stop. She's a bloody mess, nose smashed and eyes almost shut with swelling. The nurse who’s in charged just done changing her clothes, and when she pulls his princess’ collar down, Oh Sehun finally drops a tear when it reveals a dark purple bruise lining her neck.

He feels the tears well up again and feels like his stomach clench as they spill over and trickle his cheeks.

“Sehun-ya, talk to me. I’m doing okay, see?” She stretched her fingers, showing a white palm with a small scratch on the surface. Oh Sehun grabbed her hand softly, and blew on it.

“I told you to be extra careful, always, jagi. But you never listen to me.”

“You’re angry?”

Oh Sehun didn’t answer.

“Nothing can hurt me if you’re around. I promise.” She said.

“Geu rae yo?”

She nodded, Oh Sehun could see her smile.

“Mian hae, jagiya. Mian hae.. “ He says at once. “I didn’t mean any of what I said before. I’m sorry.”

He brings her hand up to his lips and kisses it, right in the center of her palm. Then he closes her fingers around it, as if the kiss were something she could hold on to forever.

She doesn’t move a blink. And the emptiness it brings.

*****

336 hours.

Kim Jongin arrives at Oh Sehun’s house and walks to his room. He knocks and waits.

No answer.

He knocks again, louder this time.

“I’m here.” Oh Sehun says.

Kim Jongin opens the door to see Oh Sehun is looking out the window, his back to Kim Jongin. He doesn’t turn around.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

‘Have you eaten?”

He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t move.

Kim Jongin walks closer until he’s standing next to Oh Sehun. He steals a side-glance at his friend’s face. There are tears rolling down his cheeks.

“She’s hurt, she’s bleeding. She needed me but I wasn’t there.”

Oh Sehun makes a whimpering sound, hands cover his face. Kim Jongin reaches out to touch his arm.

“I’m sorry, Sehun-ah.” Jongin wraps both arms around him and hugs his best friend. He doesn’t pull away. He shudders, makes a crying sound.

****

Oh Sehun is racing off to the hospital with Kim Jongin after he got a phone call from Min Kyung saying that his princess wakes up from her critical condition after fourteen days.

The doctor in charged introduces himself as Dr. Choi Si Won and he hasn’t even asked Oh Sehun’s name before he launches into a list of questions. Did his princess is an abused child? Does she have a family?

Oh Sehun steps into the room, but as he did, her body suddenly shaking and her eyes utterly bloodshot. She starts quivering, not in control of her mind or body. The nurses hold her hands tight, and a medical assistant gives her a shot instantly to calm her down.

“Wae gu rae? What’s happening?! What’s wrong with her?!” Oh Sehun shouts to the doctor, and Kim Jongin is trying to stop him from crushing into the nurses.

“Sehun-ya, calm down. Please, Oh Sehun.”

After several minutes, the doctor finally speaks.

“We need to do a therapy, a CT scan.. there’s a problem.”

Oh Sehun’s heart drops, his eyes watering, and he sits on the floor, blankly.

*****

“What’s your name?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you know him?”

Dr. Choi Si Won shows her a photo of a middle-aged man, wearing a brown hat.

“Appa. Nae appa.”

“What about her?”

A photo of a beautiful woman appears, smiling.

“Oemma.”

“Then what about Cha Geun Seok? Do you know him?”

It takes her a few minutes to answer.

“It’s okay, take your time.”

“Hitting, yelling, shouting.. cursing,” She blurts out. The doctor writes down something in his book, and then moves to the last question.

“You must know him too then. Look at the photo carefully.”

A photo of a boy aged 19 appears. He has a lean body, a dark hair, a pair of piercing eyes, and a sharp jawline. She takes a look of the photo, and frowns.

“Remember him?”

She bites her lips, her eyes look confuse.

“Oh Sehun. His name is Oh Sehun. Do you remember him?”

Oh Sehun watches the conversation from the screen, slightly nervous. He wants the treatment to finish fast, so that he can hug his princess and protects her. After what happened a month ago.

“Y/N – ssi, do you know Oh Sehun?” The doctor repeats his question again.

She shakes her head and says,

“Who is he?”

When Oh Sehun looks at her, he knows he’s not a part of her beautiful memories anymore.